Top 100 Gail Carriger Quotes
#1. Excellent. Ignorance is most undervalued in a student.
Gail Carriger
#2. Not Alec Weebs? Never! Biffy was appreciatively shocked.
Gail Carriger
#3. Well, I am terribly concerned for your health. One simply should not weigh so much at your age. Lady Maccon poked at a sagging carrot and wondered if anyone would miss her dear sister were she to be oh-so-gently tipped over the rail of the upper deck.
Gail Carriger
#4. Scotsmen, she had occasion to observe, often did have nice knees. Perhaps that was why they insisted upon kilts.
Gail Carriger
#5. Ah, to be young and agile again,' said Primrose.
'We were never that young,' replied Rue.
'More to the point, we were never that agile,' said Prim with a soft smile.
Gail Carriger
#6. Such poopitations of the heart as you would not believe.
Gail Carriger
#7. Knowing Miss Hisselpenny's constitution, if the mummy were gruesome enough, dinner might just be revisited.
Gail Carriger
#9. Floote, what is going on? Do they think I
am contagious? Should I assure them I was
born with a nose this size?
Gail Carriger
#10. He was awfully good at being aristocratic. Alexia, on the other hand, was only good at being autocratic. Not quite the same thing.
Gail Carriger
#11. If there is gossip to be garnered, garner it. If there are new dress styles to be imitated, imitate them. If there are hearts to be broken, break them.
That's my girls.
Gail Carriger
#12. Alexia had, in part, compensated for a lack of soul through the liberal application of manners. This was rather like donning an outfit consisting entirely of accessories, but Alexia maintained that proper conduct was never a bad thing.
Gail Carriger
#13. He wants to know why my marks aren't better. Why I don't speak fluent French. Why I can't kill a fully grown man with a nutcracker.
Gail Carriger
#14. A vampire, like a lady, never reveals his true age.
Gail Carriger
#15. Rain, in your glorious presence, Miss Temminnick? I hardly think it should dare.
Gail Carriger
#16. Lyall's face went deadpan as he relayed the details, as those who are tortured or raped will become when they retell the pattern of abuse
Gail Carriger
#17. But Alexia's scent was something else, something ... not meat. She smelled warm and spicy sweet, like some old-fashioned Italian pastry his body could no longer process but whose taste he remembered and craved.
Gail Carriger
#18. He wore a tweed suit, of all horrible things, and a cravat tied with such carelessness it was almost as much a sin as his actions.
Gail Carriger
#20. Stupid little boys should learn to use guns and not wave them around.
Gail Carriger
#21. So, did you hold back during that test?"
"Maybe a little," Sophronia admitted.
Soap grinned. "That's my girl."
Sophronia glared at him. He was getting familiar.
"You are, miss." He continued to grin.
"I'm my own girl, thank you very much.
Gail Carriger
#22. She'd had it painted, and planted, and primped, and festooned, and draped to within an inch of its very long life. But it was asking too much of the poor thing. The result was something akin to dressing a bulldog up like an opera dancer. Underneath the tulle, it was still a bowlegged bulldog.
Gail Carriger
#23. Ooo," said Alexia, fascinated, "it shrinks back down again. The books didn't detail that occurrence."
The earl laughed. "You must show me these books of yours.
Gail Carriger
#24. Her expression was that of a woman with multiple children who was no longer surprised by anything they did, up to and including arriving home from finishing school in an airdinghy.
Gail Carriger
#25. No one said learning etiquette and espionage would be easy, my dear.
Gail Carriger
#26. Lord Akeldama never did anything by halves, especially if he might double it at three times the expense.
Gail Carriger
#28. Oh, dear me, no. Then I should be known as that vampire with all the cats.
Gail Carriger
#29. Footwear, after all, was a serious commitment.
Gail Carriger
#30. As a field archeologist, one usually has to specialize in a particular part of the world or specific culture, whereas if one is a materials specialist, one can jump around to different areas. So I've had experience on excavations all over the place.
Gail Carriger
#31. Rue was a romantic. Her parents were a love match. Had to be, for there was no other possible explanation for them tolerating one another. Thus Rue held the very peculiar opinion that love made for a most agreeable form of companionship.
Gail Carriger
#33. It is a valuable thing for an intelligencer to be forgotten.
Gail Carriger
#34. She was no closer to determining who might want her dead. There were just too many possibilities.
Gail Carriger
#35. The greatest unwritten law of the supernatural set was that one simply didn't steal someone else's human.
Gail Carriger
#36. CHAPTER TWO In Which Inventors Have Powerful Dimples Imogene
Gail Carriger
#37. If we provide the right incentive, all things are possible, even perfection.
Gail Carriger
#38. Oh, Major, you do so love to annoy, don't you?"
"It is the stuff of living, my lady.
Gail Carriger
#40. Alexia seemed to recall hearing one matron complain that the Italians were very passionate in their support of balls.
Gail Carriger
#41. She boasted the general battle-ax demeanor of an especially strict governess. This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs.
Alexia liked her immediately.
Gail Carriger
#42. She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappropriate future moment.
Gail Carriger
#43. How often have I warned you against fraternizing with technology?
Gail Carriger
#44. We're a team like tea and milk, or cake and custard, or pork and apple.
Gail Carriger
#45. Rail is such an undignified way to travel. All that rapid racing about. Floating has so much more gravitas.
Gail Carriger
#47. We realy must work on our communitcation. Perhaps if you were not so constantly intrested in other forms of intimacy, I might actually have access to the information I need to survive with my temper intact!" Alexia poked at him with a sharp finger. "More talk, less bed sport.
Gail Carriger
#48. Death can be jolly well inconvenient, if you ask me.
Gail Carriger
#49. Ivy was particularly adept at being ignorant but could cause extensive havoc with the smallest scrap of information.
Gail Carriger
#50. I like powerful women, and I gravitate to any point in history when a female has significant power. I can spend hours researching any such amazing lady, from Ching Shih to Hatshepsut to Boudica to Zenobia.
Gail Carriger
#51. I'm overburdened by strange occurrences at the moment.
Gail Carriger
#52. Alec didn't normally consider himself a violent man, but sometimes, arms simply needed to be removed.
Gail Carriger
#53. Alexia was rather strapping. He preferred her that way. Undersized women reminded him of yippy dogs.
Gail Carriger
#54. Fifteen minutes later, what she got was the most remarkable thing she had ever seen in her life. And Rue had once witnessed a whole party of American tourists actually refuse to drink tea, in a London teahouse, so that's saying something. The
Gail Carriger
#56. I hate missing everything. That's why I want to marry well and be a grand lady. Then I can host all the parties, all the time, and see everything that is going on always. How can you stand not knowing?
Gail Carriger
#57. If left together for too long, the two of them might actually take over the civilized world, through sheer application of snide remarks.
Gail Carriger
#59. A vampire attacked me last night. Ivy pretended a faint.
Gail Carriger
#61. Well, do be careful, my love. Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied.
Gail Carriger
#62. The monkeys, she explained, were considered reincarnated politicians, which made Rue laugh and the stick entirely understandable.
Gail Carriger
#63. To the best of my knowledge, my youngest reader is 10 and the oldest is 95.
Gail Carriger
#64. Let us be perfectly clear here," said Squire Loontwill. "You are willing to marry our Alexia, even though she is ... well ... ," he floundered. Felicity came to his rescue. "Old." Evylin added, "And plain." "And tan," said Felicity. The squire continued. "And so extraordinarily assertive.
Gail Carriger
#65. Spoo looked at the funny little necklace doubtfully. "That's all?"
"And ask if I can have my dress and shoes back, would you? And Mr Lefoux's hat, perhaps?"
Spoo looked scandalised. "I don't think I want to know.
Gail Carriger
#66. We are an institution of high learning and higher manners. We simply cannot shoot first; it isn't done. Now, remember that, Miss Temminnick, do - a lady never shoots first. She asks questions, then she shoots.
Gail Carriger
#67. Great, Alexia thought, I have gone from soul sucker to electrical ground. The epithets just get sweeter and sweeter.
Gail Carriger
#68. Monique stood, arms akimbo, some six or seven paces away from Sophronia, and letting forth a scream of unadulterated anger, she hurled a cheese pie at Sophronia's head.
Gail Carriger
#69. I love stand-up comics, particularly those who have embraced podcasting.
Gail Carriger
#70. It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.
Gail Carriger
#71. Her heart was beating a marathon somewhere in the region of her throat, her skin felt hot and stretched taut over her bones, and she was damp in places she was tolerably certain unmarried gentlewomen were not supposed to be damp in.
Gail Carriger
#73. They decided the mummy would be unwrapped, for the titillation of the ladies, just after dinner.
Gail Carriger
#74. The bowl landed, in glorious perfection, atop the head of Mrs Barnaclegoose, who was not the kind of woman to appreciate the finer points of being crowned by trifle.
Gail Carriger
#75. I like fish," chirruped Tunstell.
"Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?"
"Well"
Tunstell hesitated
"you know, the um, ones that"
he made a swooping motion with both hands
"uh, swim.
Gail Carriger
#76. He was so very large and so very gruff that he rather terrified her, but he always behaved correctly in public, and there was a lot to be said for a man who sported such well-tailored jackets
even if he did change into a ferocious beast once a month.
Gail Carriger
#77. Most people in archeology find their specialties in strange and unique ways. I always wanted to do archaeology, and then the time came for me to actually be in the field, and it was excruciatingly boring. Excavation is really, really boring.
Gail Carriger
#78. He might have lost his mind, but never his fashion sense.
Gail Carriger
#79. Felix Mersey might be the cream of the aristocracy, but in the boiler room Soap was undisputed king - grimy empire though it might be.
Gail Carriger
#80. She took a moment to lament her lack of parasol. Every time she left the house, she felt keenly the absence of her heretofore ubiquitous accessory.
Gail Carriger
#81. Alexia was not a particularly musical person, and her husband, a noted opera singer in his human days, had once described her bath time warbling as those of a deranged badger.
Gail Carriger
#82. Lyall had spent centuries nibbling about the great layered cake that was polite society while Lord Akeldama acted the part of the frosting on its top.
Gail Carriger
#84. Perched in one corner, like some sort of ship's figurehead, was an oddly sinister wicker chicken. It frowned down upon her with an air of chubby disdain.
Gail Carriger
#85. He was not very big, mostly because he was not a very big human, and the basic principles of conservation of mass still applied whether supernatural or not. Werewolves had to obey the laws of physics just like everyone else.
Gail Carriger
#86. The vampire's eyes were open, and he was staring at her intently. It was as though he were trying to speak to her with simply the power of a glare.
Alexia did not speak glare-ish.
Gail Carriger
#87. What if I arrange to be around Lord Akeldama during the full moon?"
The earl looked daggers.
"I am certain he would be extremely helpful in a fight. He could ruthlessly flatter all your attackers into abject submission.
Gail Carriger
#88. Can you imagine...the detrimental effect on your marriage prospects, to be found unchaperoned in a library with a dead vampire!
Gail Carriger
#89. As with most things in life, Lady Maccon preferred the civilized exterior to the dark underbelly (with the exception of pork products, of course.)
Gail Carriger
#90. Mr Lefoux, would you fetch Prim for me? She seems to have been kilted." Quesnel
Gail Carriger
#91. Werewolves have been susceptible to the gentler sex for as long as I can remember, and that is a very long time, indeed.
Gail Carriger
#92. Algebra was far more interesting when it was a matter of proportioning out mutton chops so as to poison only half of one's dinner guests and then determining the relative value of purchasing a more expensive, yet more effective, antidote over a home remedy.
Gail Carriger
#93. Sidheag, you think like a predator.' The Lady of Kingair glowed in pleasure. 'Thank you very much, Sophronia. What a nice thing to say.
Gail Carriger
#94. Lady Maccon declined in horror. She enjoyed most foods, but brussels sprouts were nothing more than underdeveloped cabbages.
Gail Carriger
#95. It's simply, gentlemen" - and when she raised her dark eyes they had a slight sheen in them - "I would so like something useful to do.
Gail Carriger
#96. Steampunk is ... the love child of Hot Topic and a BBC costume drama
Gail Carriger
#97. At such close range, even she could hit a vampire full force in the shoulder, surprising him considerably. He paused in his attack. Well, my word! You can't threaten me, you're pregnant!
Gail Carriger
#98. I may be a werewolf and Scottish, but despite what you may have read about both, we are not cads!
Gail Carriger
#99. With his wife's imperious face peering down at him, Lord Maccon took a moment to wonder why he had thought to crave such a woman in his life. Alexia bent over and nibbled at his chest. Ah, yes, initiative and ingenuity.
Gail Carriger
#100. And atop the wolf, looking as dignified and butlerlike as might be possible for a man riding a werewolf, was Floote. Alexia
Gail Carriger
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