Top 93 Plumber Quotes
#1. Whenever someone like a plumber or a mechanic tries to explain something technical to me, I listen for about three seconds before it all just becomes white noise, like Charlie Brown's teacher.
John Niven
#2. I caught sight of a small twitch on Plumber's face, like he was battling the urge not to frown.
Well Plumber, if you didn't want your bitch making noise, you should have put a muzzle on her.
Violet Cross
#3. Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
#4. Faith is all right for those who have it. Just don't load it on me. I have more faith in my plumber than I do in the eternal being. Plumbers do a good job. They keep the shit flowing.
Charles Bukowski
#5. A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.
Arthur Baer
#6. The practice of medicine is a thinker's art the practice of surgery a plumber's.
Martin H. Fischer
#7. People want to imagine that I have this amazing life. That I never change nappies, unload the dishwasher or have to wait in for the plumber, and that's OK, but the reality is I do do all these things!
Jade Jagger
#8. Or, if the Sun wrote it, Poofter Plumber goes Postal in Potter's Bar.
J.L. Merrow
#9. My mother loves to remind me that about the age of four, I made a somewhat formal announcement that I was going to be a plumber when I grew up.
Stella Young
#11. This is 1987. A girl can be whatever she wants to be." "I know," said Ray. "My mums a plumber.
David Bischoff
#12. [To her frequently needed plumber:] How would you like to be adopted? I'm sure it would be cheaper.
Mary Roberts Rinehart
#13. If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn't get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.
Charles Barkley
#14. The plumber plodded along in silence, like a man who has learned to be polite to lunatics through dealing with civil engineers.
Lindsey Davis
#15. I have created myself a soul, big as the world, that leaks all over, and I have to keep calling for the plumber.
Anais Nin
#16. My mom was a waitress, and my dad was a plumber who worked for the City of San Clemente fixing mains breaks, so not too glamorous.
Shaun White
#17. As such, anything is always possible, even if your protagonist is a plumber. But it's the possibility, the limitless possibilities, of any fake life, that make writing about it so challenging.
Heidi Julavits
#18. I'm going to strip my way through plumber's school. What do you think of the stage name Fine-Ass Frankie?
Rebecca Murphy
#19. Exactly! What kind of plumber has pristine nails?"
"A smart one.
Shelly Laurenston
#20. I've broken a cardinal rule of art, music, and career paths: actors are supposed to act, and musicians are supposed to music. That's how it works. You don't buy fish from a dentist, or ask a plumber for financial advice, so why listen to an actor's music?
Hugh Jackman
#21. Most wealth is inconspicuous. The man down the street driving the nice car and living in the mansion could easily have greater debt and a lower net worth than the stealthy and wealthy plumber who drives a beat-up truck but seems to work only when he doesn't feel like fishing.
Loral Langemeier
#22. One of the best sleight-of-hand guys I know is a plumber.
Ricky Jay
#23. If I waited for inspiration every time I sat down to write a song I probably would be a plumber today.
Barry Mann
#24. If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.
Albert Einstein
#25. For me, the sexiest men don't know they're drop-dead gorgeous. Not that I'd ever rule out a pot-bellied plumber in the right circumstances.
Natalie Dormer
#26. There's no greater bliss in life than when the plumber eventually comes to unblock your drains. No writer can give that sort of pleasure.
Victoria Glendinning
#27. Human society is ninety percent muck that won't disperse to the appropriate location that's why I chose the profession of plumber.
Rose Tremain
#28. Every time I get happy
the Nana-hex comes through.
Birds turn into plumber's tools,
a sonnet turns into a dirty joke,
a wind turns into a tracheotomy,
a boat turns into a corpse ...
Anne Sexton
#29. The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.
Frank Zappa
#30. If these were Plumber's people, that would mean he knew we were coming. That we'd lost our element of surprise and we were walking into a trap.
Which, you know, was obviously at the top of my to-do list today.
Violet Cross
#31. Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,
Painter or plumber or never-do-well,
Do me a favor and shut your face -
Poets alone should kiss and tell.
Dorothy Parker
#32. Talking to a programmer type about the trading business was a bit like talking to the house plumber at work in the basement about the card game the Mafia don was running upstairs.
Michael Lewis
#33. When you hire a plumber because no hot water is coming out of the kitchen sink faucet, you need to go to the water heater, not the faucet.
Joe Wurzelbacher
#34. For, while the authority of the doctor or plumber is never questioned, everyone deems himself a good judge and an adequate arbiter of what a work of art should be and how it should be done.
Mark Rothko
#35. The machinery joining the vats was a nightmare jumble of pipes and flanges. Since you couldn't really hire a professional plumber to set up your deathtraps, some clever techie on Angus Caine's payroll must have done it himself with whatever parts he had on hand.
Craig Schaefer
#36. Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.
George Meany
#37. Oh sure, its fine when a monkey does it. But when I throw barrels at an Italian plumber, they call it a hate crime!
Stephen Colbert
#38. Don't expect Barton Biggs to be offering his market insights on 'Bloomberg News' anytime soon. His plumber, maybe.
Alex Berenson
#39. In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.
Conan O'Brien
#40. Sweetie, there's nothing 'just' about being a plumber. We are literally the person everyone calls when the shit hits the floor.
Tracy Ewens
#41. The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do you know this story? He failed to report he had some work done on his house. Yeah, here's the bad part. You know who did the work? Joe the plumber. Unlicensed.
Jay Leno
#42. A major announcement. Events are moving fast in my campaign, and yes, it's true that this morning I've dismissed my entire team of senior advisers. All of their positions will now be held by a man named 'Joe the Plumber.'
John McCain
#43. My dad was a plumber, and my mom was on and off again, either a stay-at-home mom or working with the disabled as a visiting-nurse assistant.
Craig Thompson
#45. It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.
Lemony Snicket
#46. Your father? What he do? He no plumber, is he? I no trust plumbers. Or Disney World. Working with mice, very shameful.
Ana Huang
#47. When you have a sense of calling, whether it's to be a musician, soloist, artist, in one of the technical fields, or a plumber, there is something deep and enriching when you realize it isn't just a casual choice, it's a divine calling. It's not limited to vocational Christian service by any means.
Charles R. Swindoll
#48. Art is original. Marcel Duchamp was an artist when he pioneered Dadaism and installed a urinal in a museum.
The second person to install a urinal wasn't an artist, he was a plumber.
Seth Godin
#49. The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
#50. Writer's block? I've never heard of a plumber complain about plumber's block.
Robert B. Parker
#51. My father believes not what he sees with his eyes for an entire lifetime, instead he believes what he's told by the plumber on his knees fixing the toilet in the back of the store!" I couldn't stop. He'd been driven crazy by the chance remark of a plumber! "Yeah,
Philip Roth
#52. I was glad that I could be used as a focal point to possibly bandy around some ideas, and maybe people would open their eyes to Obama's socialist ideology. However, there were so many important issues to be discussed other than the 'Joe the Plumber, Joe the Plumber.'
Joe Wurzelbacher
#53. I would like to mention that a couple days ago Senator Obama was out in Ohio and he had an encounter with a guy who's a plumber, his name is Joe Wurzelbacher.
John McCain
#54. Probably writers should forget what it was like to write the last novel, and the one before that, and the one before that, or we should all be plumbers. It must be good to be a plumber. Everyone is happy to see you, and no one reviews your work.
Susan Fromberg Schaeffer
#55. If you are a plumber, you can work on a shed, or you can work on a mansion. It's just scale.
Martin Freeman
#56. I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen
#57. Because all writers are human beings first and writers second, my guess is that any advice for living with a writer is about the same as advice for living with a plumber or a refrigerator salesperson.
Clyde Edgerton
#58. You should put it on your business cards - Tom Paretski, the pocket-sized plumber. No job too small."
"Again with the height jokes. What do you have on yours? Phil Morrison, the muscle-bound moron?"
"Now, come on - that's poor effort. How about Private Dick - the biggest in the business?"
J.L. Merrow
#59. So if he'd been a plumber, _ _ would've been about toilets?
Left blank to avoid spoilers but this is just too funny
Jeri Smith-Ready
#60. God makes something special and unique about each person that sets them apart from every other person, and to me that's is what artistry is about, whether you are a plumber, a pinter, a musician whatever it is that is unique about you that is translated into your art.
Bubba Sparxxx
#61. I really see the vocation of politics like I see every vocation - whether it's being a reporter or serving in public life or being a plumber - as an extension of ministry.
Kevin Cramer
#62. Screenwriting is still a challenge for me. It's more technical than creative. You have to be a very good journeyman plumber and put the proper parts together. Then, if you can still inject a little bit of something worthwhile, you have done as much as can be expected.
Leigh Brackett
#63. It's still about the women. It's not called Desperate Plumber. People are more interested in cat fights.
James Denton
#64. Let's say I was a plumber, or I worked at a factory, I would download music, you feel what I'm saying?
Obie Trice
#65. Sculptors, poets, painters, musicians-they're the traditional purveyors of Beauty. But it can as easily be created by a gardener, a farmer, a plumber, a careworker.
Charles De Lint
#66. When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
Nick Offerman
#67. Same. I don't like to think I might have ended up in Plumber's gang, but given the alternative..."
I raised both eyebrows. "Yeah. Drug-dealers or super-powered psychopaths? Choices, choices.
Violet Cross
#68. Playing music has always felt very natural. You know, you do try to do other things, and you do learn lessons that way, but, eventually - well ... if your dad is a plumber, you become a plumber. It's the family business, and I felt like I was taking over the family business.
Dhani Harrison
#70. I used to tell people my father was a plumber, because that would mean we had a normal life.
Nell Newman
#71. If I had it [life] to do all over again, I'd have been a plumber.
Albert Einstein
#72. If you're just going to meet consumer or clients' demands, you might as well be a plumber - the work will be more frequently available.
Jay Maisel
#73. Cox shrugged. if that's what it takes to get laid, then I'm a fuckinin'poet. Other times I'm a fuckin' accountant. Or a plumber. Sometime's a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Madeline Sheehan
#74. The life of the professional writer - like that of any freelance, whether she be a plumber or a podiatrist - is predicated on willpower. Without it there simply wouldn't be any remuneration, period.
Will Self
#75. Guido the plumber and Michelangelo obtained their marble from the same quarry, but what each saw in the marble made the difference between a nobleman's sink and a brilliant sculpture.
Rob Kall
#76. With chefs, the problem is we have to be very confident because people are looking at us for that. So pretty soon, you think you're a plumber, you think you're an electrician, you think you're an accountant.
Michael Mina
#77. I never planned on being a plumber.
Scott Caan
#78. There's lots of different feminist groups. It's not as straightforward as just looking like a plumber.
Jo Brand
#79. Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.
Dave Barry
#80. God is not a Sunday plumber - he's always available ...
John Geddes
#81. I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.
Leslie Nielsen
#82. You cannot live in Los Angeles for any period of time without eventually trying to write a screenplay. It's like a flu bug that you catch ... Even the plumber has a screenplay in his truck.
Gilda Radner
#83. What did my parents say when I told them I wanted to be an actor? 'Be a plumber.'
Samuel West
#84. Every actor is somewhat mad, or else he'd be a plumber or a bookkeeper or a salesman.
Bela Lugosi
#85. I recommend my students not to be professional unless they really have to be. I tell them, 'If you love music, sell Hoovers or be a plumber. Do something useful with your life.'
Robert Fripp
#86. Remember that 'plumber in space' is not such a bad setup for a story.
Stephen King
#87. There are far too many people in university in Britain. If you want to make money, be a plumber.
Felix Dennis
#89. If your work is deathwork, one weapon is not enough, just as a plumber would not answer an urgent service call with a single wrench.
Dean Koontz
#90. We find it natural that we pay for a plumber or a mechanic, but demand our news for free. If we did not pay for plumbing or auto repair, we would not expect to drink water or drive cars. Why then should we form our political judgment on the basis of zero investment? We get what we pay for.
Timothy Snyder
#91. I was from a poor Jewish family in the South Bronx. My father was a plumber, but when I was 16, he got sick and I had to take over. Being a plumber in the South Bronx wasn't fun.
Leonard Susskind
#92. Confused, I asked, "The coven's what?"
"Plumber," Ivy said, looking pale as she leaned on Glenn. "You know. Stops leaks?"
Oh goodie. I'm a leak.
Kim Harrison
#93. Would people applaud me if I was a good plumber?
Marlon Brando
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