Old Guy Sayings

#1. You're never too old for me to look out for you and to make sure that every guy knows that if he tries to screw you over, I will shoot him."
"Okay," I say, looking up at Asher. "If you screw me over, my dad will shoot you.

Aurora Rose Reynolds

#2. I was watching 'Up In The Air' and I thought, 'Jesus, who's the old gray-haired guy?' And it was me. I never wear makeup for movies and now it's starting to show.

George Clooney

#3. Observation #3: They gossip.
Can you believe it? I overheard Finn and Doug in the backyard talking about some girl named Dawn who blew off some guy named Simon for some other guy named Rick for like twenty minutes! They sounded like those old mole-hair ladies at Sal's Milshakes.

Kate Brian

#4. I changed his name after I saw this old movie at the Snark. It's called Nosferatu, and it's the original Dracula story. It's ten times as scary as the version you see on television. The guy who plays the vampire is really bizarre.

Daniel Pinkwater

#5. When I hear homestyle, I always think of some guy in his underwear standing next to a microwave. You want me to nuke a hot dog for ya? I got some old Chinese in the fridge, but I think it's my roommate's.

Jim Gaffigan

#6. I had to audition for the part of Jnior, and I wanted the role terribly because I knew it was a great character. This guy is a wonderful, funny, mean old guy.

Dominic Chianese

#7. Choreographers use me as the old guy who still dances. Not that I put on white tights.

Mikhail Baryshnikov

#8. I was the one that allegedly "quit and joined my old band." That wasn't true. But it was said so matter-of-factly on the Internet that the guys weren't really sure what I was up to.

Slash

#9. You get too old to lose. When you were a young guy, you bounced back from losses.

Bill Parcells

#10. I like you, Mark, and I hope you'll come see me again. You're a nice guy and you have an old soul. I hope we can be friends.

T.A. Webb

#11. I didn't get to hear the rest, as the skipper poked a red, peeling face out of the wheelhouse and told Billy Lee to get back to work or he wasn't getting paid. The guy looked to be a hundred years old and four feet tall, but when he opened his mouth, even I jumped.

Vincent H. O'Neil

#12. I put a flower in someone's locker when I was 15 years old. This girl, called Maria. Maybe I was 14. She actually thought it was from someone else, and the other guy claimed it as well, which was just great.

Robert Pattinson

#13. And it's not like I've never jacked off. I'm fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesn't is lying. That would be like having the coolest video game ever and never playing it. No one's that stupid.

Michael Thomas Ford

#14. It could be anything, give a homeless guy a sandwich, help an old lady across the street like anything to make this world a better place. If everybody just did one good thing for another person like a selfless good deed just think about how much a better place this would be.

Frank Iero

#15. At the risk of sounding like that old guy in 'Gran Torino' telling those 'young punks' to 'get off my lawn,' it's gotten to the point that whenever I hear somebody talking about Twitter or twittering or tweeting, it just makes my little tummy want to hurl.

John Ridley

#16. Not all writers are artists. But all of us like the idea of somebody in the year 2283 blowing the dust off one of our books, thumbing through it and exclaiming, Hey, listen to what this old guy had to say back in the twentieth century!

William Attwood

#17. I guess I'm the only guy old enough to figure him (Nolan Ryan, 1-Hitter Game in 1991) out.

Dave Winfield

#18. If there is a public perception at all, they see the producer as a big old guy who smokes a cigar and has lots of money and lots of power. That's not what a producer is and, if it ever was what a producer was, it certainly hasn't been for a long time.

Marshall Herskovitz

#19. I'm [Paul O'Neill] an old guy, and I'm rich. And there's nothing they can do to hurt me.

Ron Suskind

#20. I had not learned anything about Huntley that would
have alerted me to what he was. I had no reason, as an 11-year-old girl, to be wary of him. No one said, 'This guy likes to have sex with young girls.

Stephen Richards

#21. The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. "This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?"

Jerry Seinfeld

#22. Wow, Johnny. I send you out for reinforcements and you come back with an old man, a nerd and this little hobbit guy. Great job.

Pittacus Lore

#23. Do you wanna know the secret to picking the right guy? All you need to do is to find one that makes you laugh and keep him. I may be 72 years old, but, in my head, I'm still the same young madcap I was at 20, and my wife and I have been together for as long as I can remember!

Someone

#24. You know Becky, you haven't been the same since that crowbar fell on your head." - spoken by my mother after I eloped with a guy I'd known for about a month, when I was 18 years old!

Becky Lewellen Povich

#25. Some old guy once said that the meaning of life is that it ends.

Lee Child

#26. Some guy said to me: Don't you think you're too old to sing rock n' roll?
I said: You'd better check with Mick Jagger.

Cher

#27. I am an old geezer: a grandpa kind of a guy. I was born October 19, 1931. I have gray hair, a beard, and a little pot belly. I have two children who are over 30 years old and a sweet little granddaughter who is 11 years old.

Ed Emberley

#28. Kraut was a stand-up guy in the old tradition, in a strange way reminiscent of my father in his steadfast refusal to abandon a position once he had taken it. It was a quality I lacked, and so admired in others when they weren't using it to beat me to the canvas or break my heart.

Miles Watson

#29. I'm an old school guy and love the guys in the monster suits and JAWS; even though everyone makes fun of the shark I think it's awesome. You know it's fake, but with my generation that was part of the charm.

Larry Fessenden

#30. There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

Norm MacDonald

#31. (I'm sorry, but the guy breastfed until he was four. That's beyond being "old enough to ask for it" and practically into being "old enough to make your own breakfast.")

Dahlia Adler

#32. I listen to a lot of Tupac and Biggie Smalls. Old school songs. Rick Ross. I listen to a guy ASAP Rocky. I like different kinds of music. I always have. It motivates me before games ... A Tupac playlist or a Meek Mill playlist. It varies.

Trey Burke

#33. I stepped forward. Call me old-fashioned, but I wanted to keep his focus on me and not Annabeth. I think it's polite for a guy to protect his girlfriend from instant incineration.

Rick Riordan

#34. I believe in fate. Sometimes that means an old bearded guy sitting on a cloud and pulling the strings; sometimes it means random atoms swirling through a cheerless universe; sometimes it means everything being preordained thanks to your karma credit from your previous lives.

Kyle MacLachlan

#35. When you win an award from the Grammys, it means a lot 'cause it's voted on by 100% by the people. It's not like some old guy sitting at a desk picking. It's doesn't work like that. It's voted on by your peers in the music industry.

Paul Wall

#36. When little old ladies recognize a guy who was Mr. Olympia, that's saying something. That means I've been able to cross lines as far as marketability is concerned.

Lee Haney

#37. I hope I am allowed to say that the reason I am popular is because of the way I am, the way I race, and the way I talk. I am just the old-fashioned, reliable guy, and people always know I am after one thing: 'There is Jens. He will go in the breakaway.'

Jens Voigt

#38. I'm not a horror movie guy, but I think the guy that did Saw, or maybe House or something, he was saying you love that age as a storyteller because a nineteen-year-old is still dumb enough to make really bad decisions, but he's allowed to be out on his own.

Craig Finn

#39. Underneath the picture of a really old guy, Lisa read, "Chess, like music and love, has the power to make men happy.

Jesse Kraai

#40. I care about being able to play. If you're playing with integrity in the music, then that's what matters. But it wasn't that great for me because it was kinda like going back into the old times without the guy.

Bill Kreutzmann

#41. You can draw Family Guy when you're 10 years old. You don't have to get any better than that to become a professional cartoonist. The standards are extremely low.

John Kricfalusi

#42. Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old model from Los Angeles. Like every other model in L.A., She's dating an older retired guy. What's going on?

Conan O'Brien

#43. I'm an old-school guy. I don't try to be too flashy.

Dany Heatley

#44. The Old Spice ads - women love it. The guys find it annoying. It always causes a great conversation. And it makes it more fun. You know, we've been testing those visuals to see what attracts attention.

Frank Luntz

#45. It's the old elephant hunter joke, where a guy asserts he's the local elephant hunter, you respond that there aren't any elephants around there, and he, of course, says 'Yeah, see how good I am?

Ryk E. Spoor

#46. I love it, to have the same crew. I'm not married. I don't have children. My 17-year-old dog died. I'm kind of on my own. So I really like having the same camera guy for four years. I love looking around and seeing the hair and makeup people who have been there from the beginning.

Julianne Moore

#47. I met this wonderful guy who owned an old pub near the Eiffel Tower called Malone's (he's French but it's an Irish name). He had a cellar with a piano and told me I could use it whenever I wanted to. I played lots of gigs down there. When I came back I played a show at the Knitting Factory.

Regina Spektor

#48. I spent the rest of that day brainstorming. How do you catch a very old, very alert tiger by surprise? Use his weaknesses: food, feminine wiles, poetry, and over-protectiveness. The poor guy didn't stand a chance.

Colleen Houck

#49. The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

Gene Mauch

#50. In my writers' room, which is mostly men, I get a lot of questions like "What would be the quickest way to pass as a seemingly normal guy between the ages of twenty-five and forty years old?"

Mindy Kaling

#51. The most important thing for old guys is never start going down the stairs sideways.

Dick Van Dyke

#52. My plan is to have a theatre in some small town or something and I'll be manager. Ill be the crazy old movie guy.

Quentin Tarantino

#53. I'm programmed so that only you two can see my old Aura. Everyone else sees an entirely different guy. Boom. Amazing, I know.

James Dashner

#54. A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?

Chelsea Handler

#55. I'm an Old Media guy. I don't have a website; I don't Twitter. I love magazines, yet I love video games. It's a strange disconnect.

Tom Bissell

#56. Yes, e-commerce is a strange situation for an old guy like me. You can buy a TV online, OK, but to buy a dress or shoes? Ugh. The customer has to go back to the store and breathe and smell and have a good time. Because shopping is a good time - like going to a nice restaurant.

Max Azria

#57. I'm OK with being the Old Spice Guy because before I was the Old Spice Guy I was the guy looking for work on his couch.

Isaiah Mustafa

#58. When I have a difficult decision to make, I imagine myself as a 90-year-old guy looking back on his life. I imagine what I'll think about myself at that point in time, and it always makes it really easy to go for it. You're only going to regret that you wimped out.

Nick Woodman

#59. Hey, look at this guy Kenny G. with his thing, walking up and down the aisles of the concert hall and running off the stage and playing the same time. It's old hat!

Jerome Richardson

#60. Great. So if I saw a guy standing still, and he wasn't wearing an old uniform, I just had to ask him to walk through furniture. If he stared at me like I was crazy, then I'd know he wasn't a ghost. - Chloe

Kelley Armstrong

#61. I'm a product of good nutrition, cutting edge supplementation and hard training, and I'm an old guy.

Warren Cuccurullo

#62. It's goddamned funny in this police racket how an old woman can look out of a window and see a guy running and pick him out of a line-up six months later, but we can show hotel help a clear photo and they just can't be sure.'
'That's one of the qualifications for good hotel help,' I said.

Raymond Chandler

#63. The rest of the guys in Sabbath became boring old farts, and there I was, this crazy guy, still into wrecking hotel rooms and having parties.

Ozzy Osbourne

#64. A guy may wear a suit and have a high-paying job and appear very mature, but essentially, he's a 14-year-old boy.

Rainn Wilson

#65. I'd pick a young white guy over an old white guy for president anytime because the younger guy is more likely to have been influenced by the great social changes of the '60s and '70s.

D. L. Hughley

#66. I want to stay around longer than the pitchers who were at the top when I came into the big leagues. I don't want to be gone and have all the old guys - Seaver, Carlton, Ryan and Sutton - still pitching. I got rid of Palmer, now I want to outlast the rest of them.

Bert Blyleven

#67. A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.

Henny Youngman

#68. You're a good guy, Caleb Drake."
"A man is only as good as what he loves most, right?" I flinched. Hopefully, that wasn't true. I was about as rotten as a month old egg.

Tarryn Fisher

#69. My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'

Alan King

#70. You know that old joke about the guy who lives to be 104? The punch line goes something like 'If I knew I was gonna get this old, I'd have taken much better care of myself.' Well, guess what? We actually are living longer, and the time to start taking care of ourselves is right this minute.

Oprah Winfrey

#71. The old guys like me started in the theatre. I was in the theatre for nine years.

Michael Caine

#72. I'm more like a senior adviser so I don't like to come in here and try to take over. Just like your basic karate movie where the young guys come to the old guys with beards who have them do weird stuff to get to the other side. That's who I am, the old guy with a long beard.

Shaquille O'Neal

#73. So how did you wind up joining the Rebellion?"
"An old guy and a kid were looking for a ride and I needed the money," Han said. "After that, it was just bad luck.

James S.A. Corey

#74. You never knew if he was nodding a lot because he was thinking and all, or just because he was a nice old guy that didn't know his ass from his elbow.

J.D. Salinger

#75. I'm a 50 year-old guy and I'm not in shape like I was when I was 30.

Richard Gere

#76. You want to have two guys making out in front of your 4-year-old? It's OK with them. A guy smoking a joint, blowing the smoke into your little kid's face? OK with them. And I'm not exaggerating here. This is exactly what the secular movement stands for.

Bill O'Reilly

#77. So here I am - a 75-year-old man sitting on a bar stool in a blues club, trying to figure out exactly how I got here. Any way you look at it, it's a helluva story.

Buddy Guy

#78. My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?

Tucker Max

#79. I've said over and over again jokingly that the only way a woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four different men - an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay
guy. Now the four of them combined? They got you covered.

Steve Harvey

#80. Joe Frazier was the epitome of a champion. I mean, here is a guy who was total old school, blue collar, who would fight anybody. You know, he didn't tell you he was the best fighter pound for pound.

Sugar Ray Leonard

#81. When I was 18 years old, in a more innocent time, my first backpacking trip through Europe, I sneaked into the Temple of Saturn in the Roman Forum after nightfall and spent several hours in there avoiding the guards patrolling.

Guy Gavriel Kay

#82. I will be the 43-year-old guy in the jumpsuit. In my estimation and my image of myself is that I am 23 and can get away with it. If I didn't have the show, I would be in one right now. It would be denim, but I love a terry.

Andy Cohen

#83. According to an old French motto, Noblesse oblige - one must live up to one's name. The Rothschilds' condition of life has imposed on them a second motto: Richesse oblige - one must live up to one's fortune.

Guy De Rothschild

#84. I was a door-to-door window salesmen in what feels like a cheap, creepy pedophile situation. And I can say that because we were a bunch of kids driving around in the back of some old guy's van and it was creepy. Now that I look back on it I get chills of creepiness.

Joseph Bruce

#85. I said old Jesus probably would've puked if He could see it - all those fancy costumes and all. Sally said I was a sacrilegious atheist. I probably am. The thing Jesus really would've liked would be the guy who plays the kettle drums in the orchestra.

J.D. Salinger

#86. I didn't knowingly meet a conservative until, to my shame, I was 60 years old and sat down and said, 'Wow, I don't understand what this guy's talking about, but he has a great civility about him. Perhaps I better investigate this thing.'

David Mamet

#87. About GreenHollyWood who is this character?? My English teacher a fat guy about 30 or 35 years old with Glasses and short Hair.

Deyth Banger

#88. Well, I'm not putting death on the agenda," he told the Times. "I don't want to see my old friend Lucifer just yet. He's the guy I'm gonna see, isn't it? I'm not going to the other place, let's face it.

Keith Richards

#89. I'm probably a monster-of-the-week guy, and that comes back down to my old favorite show, which as a kid was always Scooby-Doo.

Rhys Darby

#90. God, I'm just a fat bald guy, 60 years old, singing the blues, you know?

Joe Cocker

#91. When I started 'DailyGrace,' I was dating a 26-year-old guy I thought was the funniest person in the world. My creation process every day was imagining him watching my videos and wondering, 'Will he laugh at this?' But somehow that's turned into an audience that's mostly 15-year-old girls.

Grace Helbig

#92. Google the phrase "the most hated man in America." And this guy is one of the first people to pop up. Martin Shkreli, aka Pharma Bro, a 32-year-old drug company entrepreneur and former hedge fund manager who has a lot of money and loves to talk about how he spends it.

Joy-Ann Reid

#93. As long as I have the talent and there's a demand for the old Chinese man - whether he's a philosopher, or a master, or an old-time restaurant owner, or a villain, or a so-called good guy - I will always be working.

James Hong

#94. Of course, anybody's who's 26 years old will probably say, "Of course the old guy would say that." But wait until you're 45 or 46 years old. See how you feel about it then.

Thomas Haden Church

#95. I have an easy tendency to stumble and fall, which is not a good thing in an 84-year-old guy, so when I brush my teeth, then I do balancing exercises.

Walter Mischel

#96. I don't write for theme, but if you work closely on some guy fixing a sandwich or a window or a table or trying to visit an old teacher or walking down the street on which he was a boy, a theme, a human hope, will emerge.

Ron Carlson

#97. I am relatively familiar with getting a good old rumping from the critics. In some cases, the critics just didn't like the film - fair cop. Others, I think, didn't understand it.

Guy Ritchie

#98. The tango is a very interior dance. It's not an exterior - it's not flashy and all over the floor. It's a very interior dance when you see the old guys dance in the clubs. I learned everything from the old guys in the clubs.

Robert Duvall

#99. You're starting to get old guy syndrome, Professor." "You mean because I sound like I long for a past that can never be regained?

John Lyman

#100. You think of 'Outlaw Josey Wales,' you immediately think of the old Indian guy, Sondra Locke, the old lady with the glasses, beautiful old actress.

Ben Mendelsohn