Jokes Laugh Quotes

#1. A bully is one who forces you to laugh at his jokes, even if they are not jokes. That is how you know he is a bully. A

Joyce Carol Oates

#2. My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.

Carrot Top

#3. The more a man can make a woman laugh, the more attracted she will be to him. This is primarily because women seem to prefer dominating mates. As studies shows, women tend to laugh more at men they are interested into and men are attracted to those women who laugh at their jokes.

F.R. Lifestyle

#4. I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny.

Harland Williams

#5. I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

Nick Offerman

#6. I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

Sam Kinison

#7. It took me a moment to realize he was joking. He was very dry. He didn't even smile at his own jokes, let alone laugh at them. Didn't give you any clues he was being funny. Oh,

Joe Hill

#8. It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.

Nick Hornby

#9. Listen: Love your fiction, even if you hate the act of creating that fiction, love the stories to a fault. Cry at your tragedies, laugh at your jokes, rejoice at your character's victories - or give it all up and go knit a damned sweater, instead.

Caitlin R. Kiernan

#10. Laugh and fear not, creatures. Now that you are no longer dumb and witless, you need not always be grave. For jokes as well as justice come in with speech.

C.S. Lewis

#11. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions

Criss Jami

#12. Death isn't funny."
"Then why are there so many jokes about death? Jill, with us - us humans - death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

Robert A. Heinlein

#13. I am a product ... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

Carlos Mencia

#14. If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

Bob Edwards

#15. Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..

Honeya

#16. When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and short. Of course we're not laughing ... Nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood.

Naomi Weisstein

#17. Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you ... And the orchestra really kept you going. They'd laugh at all your jokes, even if they'd been hearing them for the last 30 years.

Donald O'Connor

#18. Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.

Judd Nelson

#19. It will startle you to see what slaves we are to by-gone times-to Death, if we give the matter the right word! ... We read in Dead Men's books! We laugh at Dead Men's jokes, and cry at Dead Men's pathos! ... Whatever we seek to do, of our own free motion, a Dead Man's icy hand obstructs us!

Nathaniel Hawthorne

#20. Today's all burnt toast, running late and Dad jokes, has anybody seen my left shoe? Close my eyes, take a bite, grab a ride, laugh-out-loud, there it is up on the roof.

Bridgit Mendler

#21. Popular men who laugh at your jokes pose a threat which blatant villains can never command.

Lindsey Davis

#22. I'm pretty goofy. I laugh at my own jokes.

Abby Wambach

#23. As a child of privilege, no one is your friend. They will claim to be your friends, they will laugh at your jokes and invite you to their parties, but they do not like you. They like your power, they like what you will become someday.

Orson Scott Card

#24. When it comes to African Americans and African American actors, Hollywood has always felt that if you can make us laugh, that's fine, but we don't need to see you do a 'Schindler's List,' where there's no jokes or music or comedic through-line.

Hill Harper

#25. Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.

Rue McClanahan

#26. I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.

Margaret Cho

#27. Something about not waiting for the laugh of a laugh track allows you to take lines that otherwise might be seen as just direct jokes, and make them seem realistic.

Mitchell Hurwitz

#28. This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So ... just batteries aren't included.

Kevin Sorbo

#29. I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

Jo Brand

#30. There is not a racist bone in my dad's body. He doesn't even laugh at distasteful jokes.

Alan Wilson

#31. I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny.

Michael Caine

#32. I love dark humor. I love things that are so grounded in life, but just happen to be just a little bit twisted because my sense of humor is a little bit twisted. I love jokes that shouldn't be funny, but are. Those types of things just really make me laugh.

Rockmond Dunbar

#33. Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.

Agnes Varda

#34. In real life I'm the type of girl who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm very serious when it comes to work, but I like to make jokes and have a good laugh and make fun of myself.

Gal Gadot

#35. My music started out as a complete joke, so really all I was doing was going for witty punchlines to make all of my buddies laugh.

Mike Stud

#36. It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one's soul. Do not fancy you can be a detached wit and avoid being a buffoon; you cannot. If you are the Court Jester you must be the Court Fool.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

#37. Oh my god," I said, but I couldn't help but laugh. "You can't make jokes about eating dead people if you actually eat dead people.

Kali Wallace

#38. Ove's wife sometimes jokes that the three worst words Ove knows in this life are "Batteries not included." People usually laugh when she says that. But Ove does not usually laugh.

Fredrik Backman

#39. My father taught me to work, but not to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh
anything but work.

Abraham Lincoln

#40. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.

Buddy Hackett

#41. When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.

Hafez

#42. One thing House needs Wilson for is vanity. He needs someone to laugh at his jokes.

Hugh Laurie

#43. Every time a woman makes herself laugh at her husband's often-told jokes she betrays him. The man who looks at his woman and says 'What would I do without you?' is already destroyed.

Germaine Greer

#44. I used to love being the class clown. I loved to make jokes and make people laugh. There was a set of students who would find it funny. But the cool students were like, 'Eeew!'

Issa Rae

#45. I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know ... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.

Jack Whitehall

#46. You know you've reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#47. I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me ... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.

Chris Rock

#48. She was desperate to see Kai again. To kiss him. To be in his arms. To laugh at his ironic jokes and watch his eyes crinkle when he laughed at hers. It

Marissa Meyer

#49. We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times ... It's a really freeing process when you're not hitting the jokes too hard.

Brett Gelman

#50. I think I have got a very good sense of humour; other people don't, but I do. I also laugh at my own jokes.

Jennifer Johnston

#51. I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash.

Ellen DeGeneres

#52. I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

Paula Deen

#53. I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.

Saoirse Ronan

#54. Laughter, Susannah would later reflect, is like a hurricane: once it reaches a certain point, it becomes self-feeding, self-supporting. You laugh not because the jokes are funny but because your own condition is funny.

Stephen King

#55. The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes.

Adrian Edmondson

#56. And keep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything else, when you're my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you'll get a laugh.

Art Linkletter

#57. I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. I've got no plans to stop doing it.

David Alan Basche

#58. I'm against eating a human being alive - I don't do it. Somebody might make cannibalism jokes and laugh it off like it's nothing. I don't agree with that. I want to proclaim a rejection of cannibalism.

John Maus

#59. I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don't consider myself that funny of a person. I'm not witty. I'm kind of slow in conversations. I'm not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.

Nathan Fielder

#60. It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.

Malcolm Muggeridge

#61. There's much we can all do for men, including helping them feel wanted without their having to do anything life threatening. Perhaps women always knew this instinctively, which is why we tend to flatter our men and laugh at all their jokes, letting them think they're funnier than women.

Faye Flam

#62. I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes.

Sayed Kashua

#63. Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke] may not be worth the next guy's laugh.

Penn Jillette

#64. 'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.

David Chase

#65. No matter what you say while in the hospital, doctors won't laugh at your jokes.

Hope Jahren

#66. I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances.

Brian Regan

#67. They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.

Mike Epps

#68. When I'm playing comedy, I never do 'jokes.' Sometimes I'll deliver a line in a way I think is more likely to get a laugh, but all the best comedy is played straight. What's funny is the way it hits the world around it or the way it hits the other characters.

Bruce McGill

#69. I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.

Simon Le Bon

#70. It's considered bad form to laugh at your own jokes (especially when they're teensy ones), but some people are so engaging they never have to laugh alone. Chaz

Stephen King

#71. At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is.

Charlene Hartnady

#72. I instantly like people who laugh at my jokes. It's a weakness of mine.

Matthew Norman

#73. Watson loved them sour kind of jokes, which I enjoyed myself. I mean, ain't life some kind of a sour joke? Might's well laugh, that's the way him and me seen it, whether nice folks seen the joke or not. One time when Watson caught me grinning along with him, he give a wink and lifted up his hat.

Peter Matthiessen

#74. I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.

Stephen Colbert

#75. GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy!

Deyth Banger

#76. I really like being able to laugh at my own jokes.

Neil Gaiman

#77. As you get older as a comedian and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the jokes, but how comfortable you can be in the silence and the non-laughing parts, and how long you can take the audience without a laugh to then get a huge reaction.

Patton Oswalt

#78. What is so often laughable, in the stories of Kundera's Czechoslovakia, is how grimly serious just about everything turns out to be, jokes and games and pleasure included; what's laughable is how terribly little there is to laugh at with any joy.

Philip Roth

#79. I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.

Dick Gregory

#80. I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.

Steve Martin

#81. I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

Bernie Mac

#82. When I started doing standup when I was 17, I was talking about being Indian and specifically ethnic jokes. Straightforward stuff that was fairly ignorant that I knew would get the laugh. It wasn't flipping stereotypes; it was using them.

Hari Kondabolu

#83. I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh.

Marlo Thomas

#84. I'm an expert on one-armed Herdazian jokes. 'Lopen,' my mother always says, 'you must learn these to laugh before others do. Then you steal the laughter from them, and have it all for yourself.

Brandon Sanderson

#85. There's nothing in the world sicker-looking than the grin of the man who's trying to join in heartily when the laugh's on him, and to pretend that he likes it.

George Horace Lorimer

#86. I'm always trying to make myself laugh. I'm the most enthusiastic audience I'm likely to find, so if it doesn't make me smile then it probably won't work on you. The jokes that only make me shrug get cut.

Victor LaValle

#87. I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

John Oliver

#88. I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

Kathy Griffin

#89. I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.

Joan Rivers

#90. I'm more of an older school comedian so Tommy Davidson still makes me laugh a lot no matter how many times I've heard his jokes or not. He's just an animated comedian that I don't mind seeing over and over again.

Joe Torry

#91. A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes.

Pawan Mishra

#92. I didn't want to do a throwaway, mindless movie with fart jokes just to make 6-year-olds laugh. I want to provide my children with some substance.

Fred Durst

#93. Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh?

Aristophanes

#94. That's the moment I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have spent eighteen years with a man who can laugh at bad gun-control jokes whole a severed bear head is lying on his pillow.

Jenny Lawson

#95. Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

Chris Hardwick

#96. Everything in Scripture has the force of law. What it teaches we are to believe; what it commands, we are to do. We should take its wisdom to heart, imitate its heroes, laugh at its jokes, trust its promises, and sing its songs.

John Frame

#97. A dead man sits on all our judgment seats; and living judges do but search out and repeat his decisions. We read in dead men's books! We laugh a dead men's jokes, and cry at dead men's pathos!

Nathaniel Hawthorne

#98. Sarah Palin uses me as a laugh line in her stump speeches. If you're willing to turn me into a joke, you should also be willing to talk to me.

Rachel Maddow

#99. Jokes have a relation to the unconscious.'
'Jokes may indeed have a relation to the unconscious. But also: sometimes a joke is just a joke.'
'Directed against-'
'Directed against you. Whom else? The man who doesn't laugh. The man who can't take a joke.

J.M. Coetzee

#100. I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I laugh at a really dark joke as much as the next person, but my jokes, I feel, don't have to hurt anybody to be really funny.

Ross Mathews