Don't Make Me Laugh Quotes

#1. Let's roll out, Batman."
"I'm Batman and you're Robin?"
"Don't make me laugh. I'm Spider-Man."
"Then we live in different universes. I'm DC and you're Marvel."
Duncan rolled his eyes. "Can't we all get along? And since when are there different universes?

Mimi Strong

#2. Every now and then, someone will tell me that one of my books has made them laugh out loud. I never believe them because: a.) my books don't make me laugh out loud; and b.) sometimes I have said this to a writer, when really what I meant was, 'Your book made me smile appreciatively.'

Mary Roach

#3. The Blue Miracle? Don't make me laugh. I don't believe in miracles. That's why I'll snatch my victory by force.

Yana Toboso

#4. Don't make me laugh. You begged for it. Night after night, you begged for it."
"Of course I did. Pain is the only way you know how to show love."
"It's not the only way I know how to show love. It's the only way I chose to with you.

Tiffany Reisz

#5. Don't make me laugh, I'd much rather cry.

Ellen Hopkins

#6. Please don't arrest me."
"Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure."
"You could be undercover.

Derek Landy

#7. I love a girl that can make me laugh. I am not really a laugh-at-things type of guy and I don't smile and laugh all the time ... But if a girl can make me laugh ... I'm in love!!!!

Jesse McCartney

#8. Don't open the door to strangers," said her dad. "Unless they're selling something. Then open the door and see if I'd like it. If I'd like it, buy it for me. But nothing cheap. I have standards. Nothing too expensive, either. My standards aren't that high.

Derek Landy

#9. Even when I was doing theater it was more comedic. Don't get me wrong, I love doing the dramatic and heavy stuff, but I just want to have fun. I want to make people laugh.

Megan Hilty

#10. I certainly don't delude myself that there aren't certainly more important things to do in life than make people laugh, but I can't imagine anything that would bring me more joy.

Bob Newhart

#11. What are you doing?"
"I'm, uh, acting normal."
"No you're not. You're acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don't act like you're not pretending, that'll make it worse.

Derek Landy

#12. You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd.

Sam Kinison

#13. I don't want to be Marilyn Monroe. In many ways, that's a good comparison. Because Marilyn Monroe was a sexpot, all that stuff that I have no interest in. For me, it's much easier to just try to make people laugh than to try to be the hottest thing in the world.

Amanda Bynes

#14. Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don't mind laughing at it before you guys do.

Kevin Hart

#15. People place so much value on thought, but feeling is as essential. I want to read books that make me laugh and cry and fear and hope and punch the air in triumph. I want a book to hug me or grab me by the scruff of my neck. I don't even mind if it punches me in the gut. Because we are here to feel.

Matt Haig

#16. He shook his head and gave this laugh, a good laugh, and just looked at me. "You always this happy?"
"No," I said, laughing. "It's you. Every time I see you, I just ... I don't know. You make me smile.

Laura Wiess

#17. I realized, dumb people don't know they're dumb. When people try to make me laugh and they try to be funny, that's when they lose me. I find a lot of comedy in honesty.

Nathan Fillion

#18. I don't ask for guarantees. I'll tell you what I want. I want to laugh with you. Sit and look at you. Wake up with nothing to think about but how warm and smooth you feel against me. Make a life together. All of this has been worth it if we can have that.

Deborah Smith

#19. Once in a while, I do these things that would make the 10-year old version of me laugh. I don't know why. You've got to do something a little bit immature. I'm surprised at how often those are my best ideas.

Nathan Fielder

#20. Lady, if you laugh and you don't make a noise, you're a shaker, and it's freaking me out.

Christopher Titus

#21. You never saw Peter Sellers the actor trying to make you laugh. All he was doing was the character. What I'm saying is that I don't think you should know you're in a movie. I don't like it when actors are winking at the audience and saying, 'Right, isn't this funny? Are you with me?'

Steve Carell

#22. I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

D. L. Hughley

#23. You're the most incredible girl I've ever known. You're gorgeous and smart, and you make me laugh like no-one else can. And I can talk to you. And I know after all this I don't deserve you, but what I'm trying to say is that I love you, Anna. Very Much.

Stephanie Perkins

#24. My philosophy is, it's always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don't mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I'd like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

Dwayne Johnson

#25. God, don't laugh!" Jamie said, alarmed. "I didna mean to make ye laugh! Christ, Jenny will kill me if ye cough up a lung and die out here!

Diana Gabaldon

#26. Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

Dick Gregory

#27. I don't watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers; they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when you're alone and someone's voice is coming through their work. There's a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.

Dylan Moran

#28. You don't even like poetry," Tessa said, her voice catching on a half laugh of relief.
"No. But you make me want to write it. Does that not count for anything?

Cassandra Clare

#29. How can I make him understand that he did not create me?
He makes the same mistake as the others when they look at a feeble-minded person and laugh because they don't understand there are human feelings involved.

Daniel Keyes

#30. I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

Paula Deen

#31. I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment.

Andy Kindler

#32. There are times when I absolutely, 110 percent, without a doubt, have to laugh at a thing. 'Cause if I don't, that same thing will make me go stark-raving bananas. I

David Arnold

#33. My favorite thing to pass the time in the makeup chair is YouTube videos of talking cats. I don't know why, but they make me laugh.

Doug Jones

#34. I've known my best friend since I was a baby, and I don't know what I would do without her. She is always straight with me and can make me laugh hysterically. Everyone should have someone like that in their life.

Jasmine Guinness

#35. I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.

Demetri Martin

#36. From inside where I live, I feel like I just perceive events in a certain rational way. I often find it sad or poignant, and it may not make me laugh a bit. But I don't mind inventing a portrait that allows others to laugh if that's what they want to do.

Madeline Kahn

#37. I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.

Adam Sandler

#38. I want to be able to go into a room of aliens and be funny. I don't care who it is. I don't ever want to limit myself to a type of comedy because I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to make anybody laugh and that's the key for me.

Godfrey

#39. I'm physically completely mal-coordinated. My best friend used to make me run for the bus just to give herself a quick, cheap laugh because I definitely don't have that sophisticated cool thing down.

Emily Mortimer

#40. And so, since then, I've been preaching. Moreover ... I love those who laugh at me even more than the rest. Why, I don't know ... but so be it. They say that even now I don't make much sense ...

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#41. I like movies that are scary, but I don't want them to be dirt dumb. I want a movie that gets my blood racing, makes me laugh, but also gives me something to think about, with maybe a little sexy thrown in. Hollywood doesn't make movies like that.

Penn Jillette

#42. Your face is flushed, did you know that?"
"Well," she said.
"I'm frustrated."
"Don't make me angry-kiss you."
"Give me the laundry."
"Tempers rising, faces flushed ... This is how it happens."
That made Cath laugh.

Rainbow Rowell