It's Funny How Quotes

#1. How does one conquer fear, Don B.?" "One takes a frog and sews it to one's shoe," he said. "The left or the right?" Don B. gave me a pitying look. "Well, you'd look mighty funny going down the street with only one frog sewed to your shoes, wouldn't you?" he said. "One frog on each shoe.

Donald Barthelme

#2. A lot of people that are always trying to be funny and "on" and performing are just hiding. It's just a cover for what they really are and how they really feel.

Manny Montana

#3. It's like when you're on hold and a recorded voice comes on telling you how much the company values you as a customer. Really? Then maybe you should hire some more support people so I don't have to wait thirty minutes to get help.

Jason Fried

#4. It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small, and the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all.

Idina Menzel

#5. It's funny how all the fussing and fighting turns into us f-king and flying.

Wiz Khalifa

#6. It's funny how when your kids get sick, they get even cuter when they have a stuffed nose and they mouth breathe.

David Walton

#7. Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh.

Kevin Hart

#8. Look at the limes in this drink, how they float. That's good news. Next time I'm on a boat, and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I'm saved by the buoyancy of citrus.

Mitch Hedberg

#9. ( ... ) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it's not cool like the Bat signal.

Keary Taylor

#10. I try to make a film that's very entertaining, very funny, but also gives you something to think about. And the strongest thing I have to offer is my point of view, to get across how I see the world in hopes that it can change the way other people see the world, hopefully for the better.

Terry Zwigoff

#11. People in Tibet have an expression. When you reach a certain degree of venerableness and age, and people ask, "How are you?," there is an expression that people use that means, "Just barely not dead." Some people might be frightened by it but I think it's quite funny.

Robert Thurman

#12. It's funny, isn't it," Miss Woolf whispered in Ursula's ear, "how much German music we listen to. Great beauty transcends all. Perhaps after the war it will heal all too.

Kate Atkinson

#13. Time goes by at such a pace,it's funny how it's easy to forget her face

Bil Keane

#14. Eventual, as Pug used to say. When he wanted to say something was really good, he's never say it was awesome, like most people do; he'd say it was eventual. How funny is that? The old Pugmeister. I wonder how he's doing.

Stephen King

#15. It's funny how we all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.

Habeeb Akande

#16. Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation.

Yara Shahidi

#17. I think it's funny how people get confused when they think about church music, because a lot of times there is a soloist who stands out, but my church wasn't like that at all.

Valerie June

#18. It's funny how once you like someone, even the unattractive things they do somehow become endearing.

Jasmine Warga

#19. What's funny about that office is it's entirely dependent on how close you are to the president, because the president decides what your role will be. If you get on with the president, that's great; if you fall out with the president, power can go away.

Armando Iannucci

#20. Funny how we can't hold onto time, even when it's strapped to our wrists

Emily Murdoch

#21. It's funny - when I first started as an actor, obviously there were long periods of being idle and all you want to do is work. So if I ever get the compulsion to feel like I should complain or feel like I want to take a break, I just remember how I was before and be very grateful for it.

Neil Jackson

#22. Kissing's a lot like laughing. If the joke's funny, it doesn't matter how long it's been since you last heard one.

Maggie Stiefvater

#23. You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

Rick Riordan

#24. Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny.

Julie Walters

#25. I'm happy for the kid and everything, but how the fuck does Lio get a friend before me? I live here.
'I told you I could do it ' Lio IMs me. I want to rip out that smiley's eyes.

Hannah Moskowitz

#26. It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find.

Liz Czukas

#27. My heart's so light it floats and carries me so my feet don't walk. I sing all day and I don't mind the washing, and that's how I know I'm in love. Completely smitten with My Lord the cat.

Shannon Hale

#28. It's funny. You love something and one day it's suddenly gone or changed or lost forever. But somehow that doesn't stop your loving. Maybe that's how you know it's the real thing.

Tony Parsons

#29. I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort.

Daniel Handler

#30. I don't know, I feel like any role that I play is a little piece of me, whether it's their perspective, maybe how they dress, what they think is funny, their loyalty to their friends. It all stems from Kiersey.

Kiersey Clemons

#31. You ever buy a book and not read it? You feel almost guilty having it up on a bookshelf. People are like, "Hey, how's that book?" "I haven't read it." "Oh, did you just buy it?" "I've had it since high school." "Well, can I borrow it?" "No."

Jim Gaffigan

#32. Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.

Billy Bob Thornton

#33. It's funny how a person can be right all the time and still be wrong.

Louis Sachar

#34. It's funny how often we celebrate by poisoning ourselves

Johnny Moscato

#35. It's funny how the ugly duckling always has so many beautiful things to teach us.

Curtis Tyrone Jones

#36. It's funny how we feel so much but we don't say a word, we're screaming inside but we can't be heard.

Wiz Khalifa

#37. It was funny, he reflected later, how one's life could alter in an
instant, how one
minute everything could be a certain way, and the next it's simply ... not

Julia Quinn

#38. It's funny how aimless a person can feel at times, even when they know God is in control.

Chris Fabry

#39. It's funny how things seem different, suddenly.

Kim Edwards

#40. My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.

Zach Galifianakis

#41. It's funny how this total stranger could relate to me better than anyone else I'd ever met. It was as if I'd known her my entire life.

Fisher Amelie

#42. It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.

Craig Bruce

#43. It's funny how thinking things makes you think other things. I don't think I've ever thought anything without thinking about something else.

Gary Reilly

#44. It's funny how the closer you get to God, the more you realize how far you are from Him.

Mark Hart

#45. It's funny how a film about a murderous old English toff can help you.

Jim Broadbent

#46. It's funny how people who we fight with the most at the end of day are the ones that really got your back.

Jasmine V

#47. It's funny how life can change so much but still nothing changes at all. Or maybe it's that life changes, but you as a person don't or maybe we adjust, but don't actually change.

Lights

#48. A comedy isn't about being funny," said Mrs. Baker.
"We talked about this before."
"A comedy is about character who dare to know that they may choose a happy ending after all. That's how I know."
"Suppose you can't see it?"
"That's the daring part," said Mrs. Baker.

Gary D. Schmidt

#49. I had no idea how to respond, and opted for a smile, which serves me well on most occasions (not if it's something to do with death or illness, though -- I know that now.)

Gail Honeyman

#50. Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

Adam Ferrara

#51. You support me when I falter, and give me strength to bear the pain of my past. You make me laugh until I hurt, and soothe me when I'm tied up inside. It's funny how things work out, how life can throw curveballs, yet two people wind up exactly where they're supposed to be.

Kristin Miller

#52. Religions all have the same timeline ... First the people feel the need to worship something. The sun or the giant corn of ear. That's the first thing. Then the guys say okay, now that we've got the giant corn thing going, how can we use it to oppress women?

Carol Anshaw

#53. David Mamet's writing is pretty spectacular, obviously. I like the honesty of it; I like how funny it is and how sad it is.

T. R. Knight

#54. It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"

Jim Gaffigan

#55. It's funny how God will just keep using you, and our motto around our family forever has been, 'Just let Him use you.'

Kim Fields

#56. It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.

Jimmy Kimmel

#57. I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'

Marc Maron

#58. I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspicious of fun. I never quite know what that is or how to deal with it or how to generate it. That's my fault. I know it's a burden on the people I'm with. It's tiresome.

Hugh Laurie

#59. It's funny how some things are just words until one day, it happens to you, and it's like an epiphany.

Cheryl McIntyre

#60. Mothers do, every day. It's funny, Bo, how a woman can bring two children into the world, raise them up the same way - the same rules and values, indulgences and disciplines. And still two separate people come out of it all.

Nora Roberts

#61. It's funny how the good things are all tied up with the bad. Sometimes it's hard to tell which is which. But either way, you end up taking your sugar with your salt and your kicks with your kisses.

Kami Garcia

#62. It's funny how quickly you adjust to insanity.

Danielle Paige

#63. Funny, how it took a little bit of pain to remember that certain parts of yourself were alive.

Adi Alsaid

#64. I love all of you - the good, the bad, the funny, the angry, the slightly insane. I even love it when you're jealous of someone who couldn't hold a candle to you. That's not going to change." "How

Lorna Seilstad

#65. I always feel in a funny place when I'm really asked to inform people, so I just try to take the more absurdist route - like, "this is how you could do it, but it's actually turning into a cat now. This might happen at home I guess, but it probably won't."

Thu Tran

#66. What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?

Sam Kinison

#67. A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

Tommy Cooper

#68. It's funny, people were asking me how I'd feel when it all ends, on the first movie, and I don't think I've ever felt more completely bewildered, knowing that I only have a month of Twilight stuff left to do.

Robert Pattinson

#69. It's funny how the colours of the like real world only seem real real when you viddy them on a screen

Anthony Burgess

#70. Funny how ye tell people a story to make a point and ye fail, ye fail, a total disaster. Not only do ye no make yer point it winds up the exact fucking opposite man, the exact fucking opposite. That isnay a misunderstanding it's a total
whatever.

James Kelman

#71. It's funny when you know you're playing two characters and you're aware of how you have to play each one into your performance of the other. You're constantly at the back of your mind thinking and it all gets a bit confusing.

Jamie Dornan

#72. Because also, sometimes things that are really funny on the day, when you look at them in post can feel too broad, you know? Sometimes not, but it's kind of weird how that can change.

Nicholas Stoller

#73. Oh, my God," I whispered. "But how did they get my photo?
Alex tapped his mouth with his thumb. "That ... book with everyone's picture in it, that you have in high school."
"Yearbook," I said. Was he trying to be funny? But of course he was right; that's exactly where it was from.

L.A. Weatherly

#74. It's funny isn't it, how everything's changing all time. Nothing stays still.

Julia Green

#75. It's funny how he refuses to make eye contact during sex yet can't seem to keep his eyes off me the rest of the time.

Colleen Hoover

#76. It's funny how happiness can elude you for so long, and then you find out it's as easy as changing your mind."

---From "Hearts Reunited" (book 2 of the Law of Attraction trilogy) by Jeane Watier

Jeane Watier

#77. What a welcome sight. You know, it's funny how often people forget that presidents need to eat, too, President

Suzanne Collins

#78. It reminds me how funny living in LA can be; You go to a friend's barbecue and you leave the face of Victoria Beckham's look book.

Alice Greczyn

#79. It's funny how, when you really want to say something bitchy and cutting to someone who's been bitchy to you, you can't think of anything till afterwards. When there's no real call for it, you come suddenly out with a piece of 9-carat bitchery that shakes even you.

Lynne Reid Banks

#80. What sort of funny songs?"
"My balls are swearing my balls are swearing I can't keep my balls from sweating ohhh no."
"How is that funny?" I asked.
"As in the balls of your feet?"
"No, it's like this thing ... Never mind," he said.

Anna Carey

#81. It's funny how life goes merrily along and then, boom, the past comes back and bites you in the butt.

Barbara Freethy

#82. I suddenly realize that I'm naked, which shouldn't bother me since it's the phone, but for some reason it does.
"How's it hanging?" Kyra asks and now I think I'm blushing. It's just an expression, but jeez!

Barry Lyga

#83. It was funny how dad was more honest in a book that anyone in the world could pick up and read than he could be talking to me. Or maybe it was sad. One or the other. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Gabrielle Zevin

#84. It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him.

Cherie Priest

#85. It's funny how you take things like electricity for granted. You hit the button that turns everything on and it just comes on. You get used to that and it just works every single time. So what happens when it suddenly doesn't? things very well could get messy.

Robin Burks

#86. Money in property is dead money. It doesn't help the country. It's funny how the U.K., Ireland and Spain are the most property-obsessed nations in Europe and yet are also the ones suffering the most.

Peter Hargreaves

#87. It's funny how fast a book goes, but how slow the wait appears.
the book may end, but the mind still thinks ... waiting for that book
see? I became a poet!

Nandanie Phalgoo

#88. It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead, you're made for life.

Jimi Hendrix

#89. There's so much that we just accept, but the reasons behind how certain rules came to be are so fascinating and funny, it just increases your affection for language.

Ursula Dubosarsky

#90. It's funny - when you look at the real A-listers nowadays, look at how many live in and around Hollywood. Most of them live on a ranch in Utah. It's no coincidence these guys get in and get out.

Darren Boyd

#91. It's funny, or tragic, really, how an ordinary act like helping someone with their homework could be the inadvertent trigger for almost a decade of silent suffering.

Jonathan Tropper

#92. it's funny how I'm encouraged to go to school so much, but I've learned more valuable things on google then from school.

James Jean-Pierre

#93. It's funny how when you're up so late at night for so long your mind can get into these creative places, the kind of creative places that come to you when you're halfway between asleep and awake.

Steve Wozniak

#94. I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.

Julie Brown

#95. It's funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked 'Doctor Who,' I didn't realize how deep the fan base was.

Chris Hardwick

#96. Grace headed in desperation for the coffeemaker. Apparently it was going to be one of those mornings. Funny how often those happened after a short night's sleep.

Thea Harrison

#97. How do you do it?" I asked. "You had five minutes to get ready."
"Always prepared." Vee shot me a grin. "I'm a Boy Scout's dream.

Becca Fitzpatrick

#98. It's funny how much influence our parents have on us." "True.

Susan Wiggs

#99. It's funny, don't you think, how time seems to do a lot of things? It flies, it tells, and worst of all, it runs out.

Markus Zusak

#100. It's funny how once you start pretending, you realize how much everyone else is too.

Gayle Forman