Top 100 I Screwed Up Quotes
#1. I screwed up. It's all on me. I know that ... All these hiccups I have, they must be for a reason. All this is just a test. I just don't know what the test is yet.
Greg Norman
#2. My children are the thing that make life work because, you know, I screwed up my life, and I know it was me, and it was really hard because it was so public, and that was very, very hard.
Kimberly Quinn
#3. For me, writing's the only thing that's always real. I've never regretted a day I wrote a good scene, whatever else I screwed up that day. That's what's fucking real.
Scott Westerfeld
#4. Up until my first book was published, I had all this potential, people would say, and I screwed up. After it, I could say: 'No, I didn't screw up.'
Robert M. Pirsig
#6. I got you a present."
"Did you?"
"It's a book of poetry
romancy stuff. I thought, 'How schmaltzy is that,' so it seemed like the thing. Then I screwed up and left it in my desk at work
J.D. Robb
#7. My mom was never afraid to say, 'I'm sorry. I screwed up.' I feel like that's an important lesson.
Miranda Lambert
#8. I screwed up guys, real big time; holy great grandmother of all screw-ups!
Satyen Nabar
#9. Oh no. Maybe I'd gotten too cocky. I was still relatively new to this friend business. Had I screwed up even asking? Should I have waited for her to offer up details?
Gwenda Bond
#10. A third-grader when WWII started, I was also waging my own "war effort." It was deeply magical thinking - I really thought what I did or didn't do could save lives, win battles, bring my dad and uncles home safe. And conversely, that if I screwed up, they were all in greater danger.
Ann Medlock
#11. No one leaves the edit room thinking, 'Yeah, I nailed that one!' Everyone I know goes into their first premiere or their first screening thinking, 'I screwed up so bad. I'm sorry, I messed up.' It's just a real common feeling.
Mike Mills
#12. Scully-'
'I screwed up.' Her hands again. 'Damnit, I screwed up.'
'Nope' [Mulder] said ... 'If I was dead, then you would have screwed up.' She saw the grin. 'Then I'd have to haunt you.'
'Mulder that's not funny.'
'But you don't believe in ghosts and goblins ...
Charles Grant
#13. I screwed up at a young age with my parents. They were very religious and they didn't really understand music. They didn't really listen to music. I went through a series of battles with them about why I loved music.
Brent Smith
#14. I always felt better co-writing something - always co-writing. Because if I was the lead of it and it failed, then it failed on my own accord. I would say, "Well, I liked it or I screwed up. I take the hit on this one."
Bill Hader
#15. And then I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers.
John Green
#16. Even if I screw up in my personal life, as long as I'm not destroying myself, I just think, "Okay, I screwed up." I'm not Mother Theresa.
Steve Coogan
#17. I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.
Mitch Hedberg
#18. I just think that I screwed up what could have turned into a more significant relationship, or at least a lasting friendship.
Emily Giffin
#19. We're not that strong anymore. (Hades)
Oops, guess I screwed up. Inability to see the consequences of our thoughtless acts must run in the family. So much for my father being a god of prophecy, huh? (Stryker)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#20. I think my dad did legal work for someone who had a Packard Bell 8088, and they couldn't pay him, so they gave him a computer. I was initially not allowed to touch it, but that didn't last long. I started tinkering with it, and there were many times I screwed up the computer.
Jeremy Stoppelman
#21. People say 'Poor guy.' That insults me. I despise sympathy. So I screwed up. I made some mistakes. 'Poor guy,' like I'm some victim. There's nothing poor about me.
Mike Tyson
#23. I had a head start in acting. Because of my parents, I had a SAG card, an agent and a recognizable name. But I knew if I screwed up, people would never forget. I'd be dead.
Mary Crosby
#24. I've screwed everything up royally. I remember you saying that growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change.
Cassandra Clare
#25. You know what I know? I know that whenever someone tells you they are doing 'what's best for you', you're screwed. Those are not words you want to hear. It's right up there with 'it's not you it's me'.
Caroline Hanson
#26. Finn is God: So much for Earth Day. I totally screwed things up and started celebrating the wrong planet. Now I have to collect all these stupid trademarked dog figurines that I distributed all of the yard. At least it's better than last year's mistake when I had butt statues everywhere.
Jessica Park
#27. In this whole screwed-up town, you're the only thing that's always been right to me," he whispered. "I love you, Claire." She saw something that might have been just a flash of panic go across his expression, but then he steadied again. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I do. I love you.
Rachel Caine
#28. I think I've proved that I'm not to be trusted," he said.
"Then why do I feel safer now that I have in my entire life?"
"Because you're just as screwed up as me.
Brynn Kelly
#29. I'm screwed up
I'm so full of contempt for everyone and everything. I mean, sure, I like lots of things but ... I don't know. I've just become too goddamn judgmental!
Seth
#30. It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up.
Corey Feldman
#31. I'm sorry about Finch. He was a good, screwed up kid who should have had more help." "I feel responsible.
Jennifer Niven
#32. I read the story about the loaves and fishes and thought about Jesus gazing at the hungry crowd, saying to his anxious, doubting, screwed-up followers: "You give them something to eat." So we did.
Sara Miles
#33. I have extremely little courage myself, much less than you; but I have found that whenever, after a long struggle, I have screwed my courage up to do something I always felt much freer & happy after it.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
#34. I had the best sex of my life with a girl I had thought was way out of my league and in love with my dead brother. Yeah, Nash was probably right, if anybody could put up with all the crazy I was rocking I should probably lock her in quick because even I could see how seriously screwed up I am.
Jay Crownover
#35. Listen, I would never judge someone who screwed their babysitter for years or knocked up their secretary, so don't ask me to.
Pat Martin
#36. Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and around. I can't do a back flip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys.
Mitch Hedberg
#37. I mean, you know how it is. You chase a bottle of sleeping pills with a bottle of Jack Daniel's and life's never the same, no matter how many times you try to tell people it was just an accident.
Courtney Summers
#38. When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.
Albert Brooks
#39. I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible, screwed-up humans to be unfair; that's the human condition.
Albert Ellis
#40. Okay, look. I get it. You're one of those people who thinks they have to help screwed-up people. Or maybe you're attracted to dangerous, unbalanced people. But listen up: I'm not Edward and you're not Bella - Lana
Michael Grant
#41. You have no idea how screwed up I am."
"That's not true. I know. I just don't care.
Shaina Richmond
#42. Sometimes I think there are only so many opportunities ... to get together with someone. And we've both screwed up so many times" - my voice grows quiet - "that we've missed our chance.
Stephanie Perkins
#43. I feel like everyone fakes who they really are, when deep down we're all equal amounts of screwed up. Some of
Colleen Hoover
#45. I don't write about anything I don't love even if that love sometimes gets all screwed up and tormented.
Jonathan Lethem
#46. Because there's nothing wrong with me," Alec says. "You know what is? Our society is so screwed up from top to bottom, everything about it, that it's become impossible to fix. It's easier to change people and make them fit into something that's broken. Know what I mean?
Brian James
#47. Who was I to meddle in people's love lives? Mine was a mess. My heart
wanted the one thing it wasn't allowed to have - love with someone besides my
cupid-appointed soul mate. I was so screwed up, I made the dysfunctional
relationships on Jerry Springer look wholesome.
Jenn Windrow
#48. I though I screwed everything up," I say.
He smiles. "You're only one person. In the whole universe. You can't screw everything up.
Caela Carter
#49. They say that nothing is certain but death and taxes, and I already screwed one of those up, so I better pay my taxes....
Edmund Alexander Sims
#50. I may have overmothered you and screwed you up in ways large and small, but I think it's time you took some measure of responsibility for where you choose to put your own penis.
Jonathan Tropper
#51. As ecstatic as I was at the birth of my daughter, I felt selfish bringing her, and later my son, into our screwed-up world.
Jill Greenberg
#52. When I was 9, I went to a birthday party. We were supposed to see a cowboy movie, but the programming got screwed up and we saw 'The Bad Seed' instead. Horrifying. For years I was frightened of girls with pigtails.
Robert Englund
#53. In the screwed-up life I'd been dealt, she was my only source of comfort.
Abbi Glines
#54. First of all, he was not my type. He was nice, considerate, unselfish and grounded; qualities I'd never experienced in a man. Usually, I went for the self centered, screwed up, "I'm lost, will you be my mother" type.
Brenda Perlin
#55. Try to define me, go on I dare YOU. My happy place is screwed up, my happy place, it would SCARE you.
Nicole D'Settemi
#56. And you don't even need to say anything. I'm screwed up. I don't know how any of this works anymore than you do. But I do believe you're worth every second it would take to figure it out, Mason said, a smile taking over his features.
Holly Hood
#57. I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here. So, how can I find my way? Is there a chain saw of the soul, an ax I can take to my memories or fears?
Laurie Halse Anderson
#58. I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs
which shows how screwed up this world really is!
Beatrice Sparks
#59. Josie Preston, I have loved you since I was sixteen. I know I've screwed up a whole lot, but I promise to make it up to you every day. Would you do me the immense honor of wearing my ring, taking my name and becoming not only my partner in life, but most importantly, my wife?
Heidi McLaughlin
#60. A lot of people are singing about how screwed up the world is, and I don't think that everybody wants to hear about that all the time.
Mariah Carey
#61. Her body is like the worst drug there is, the kind I just know is going to fuck me up. If you hit this, Ronnie, you are so screwed.
C.M. Stunich
#62. People focus on the darker female characters in my books, but for every one of those, I can also show you an equally screwed up man that no one ever comments about, or a nicer woman that no one comments about.
Gillian Flynn
#63. Conflict of interest. I wanted to date somebody who was less screwed up than me, and she wasn't.
Jason Krumbine
#64. I don't know if child actors are necessarily more screwed up than most people.
Rider Strong
#65. It bothered me that he was right. Without Sir Stuart's intervention, I'd have been dead again already.
That's right
you heard me: dead again already.
I mean, come on. How screwed up is your life (after- or otherwise) when you find yourself needing phrases like that?
Jim Butcher
#66. As I say the words, I realize how true they are. And maybe that's the trick to getting through it, through life: realizing that everybody, including ourselves, is lugging around some kind of screwed-up baggage. Maybe we are put here to help each other carry the loads.
Lisa Ann Sandell
#67. I'd rather be screwed up with you than smooth with anybody else.
J.D. Robb
#68. Cole Walker. Cole freaking Walker. All grown-up. And he was my new manager. I was so screwed.
Samantha Young
#69. I personally believe a crucial ingredient in rehabilitation is to admit that you completely screwed up.
Jonathan Aitken
#70. Listen cousin, the way things are supposed to work out, one day the struggles of all you screwed up little underdogs will forge a permanent rainbow that'll encircle this entire earth, I should live so long.
John Nichols
#71. The thing about this job is people go to psychiatrists and pay them $60, $70 an hour to tell them all their screwed-up fantasies, and I write mine down and people pay me. That's just how I roll.
Stephen King
#72. I believe in me. I'm a little screwed up, but I'm beautiful
Steve McQueen
#73. I've screwed up and I've overcommitted and it's typical of me.
Robert Metcalfe
#74. Note to self on waking. Lay off the beer on an empty stomach. This dream is even more screwed up than the time I had a donkey and a corkscrew. (Aiden) Donkey and a corkscrew? (Leta) I don't know you well enough to fill you in on those details. (Aiden)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#75. I realized that I had screwed up my life living different parts of my life in different places. I wasn't whole. I wasn't integrated. I wasn't a complete person. And after that, came out, spent some time at a psychiatric hospital.
James McGreevey
#76. I don't know why people think child actresses in particular are screwed up. I see kids everywhere who are totally bored. I've never been bored a day in my life.
Jodie Foster
#77. In the early 2000s, I was going through a lot. I didn't have my head screwed on right. Where I was at as a man, I was still growing up.
Raekwon
#78. I'm a bad case of arrested development, stuck in early adolescence, more screwed-up-twisted-up-tangled-up than a couple earthworms makin' babies.
Dean Koontz
#79. Oh, what am I going to do with this life I have been given." I said to myself as I sat and thought about life, and how screwed up mine really was. I was brought back into reality by Colin's answer.
Nicole Eglinger
#80. What I could relate to was the common fear that you are secretly so uniquely screwed-up that there is no way anyone would like you if they really knew you.
Tim Kreider
#81. No, I don't think 'The Wire' screwed up my career at all.
Dominic West
#82. She's way too old to be acting a fool because she has a screwed-up mommy." "Please. Just please with the blame-my-mommy-'cause-I'm-a-bitch crap,
P.C. Cast
#84. I guess we all have a bad night now and then and really screw up. I listened to our earlier stuff and we screwed up a lot. But at least now that we are sober, when we screw up it's for real.
Joe Perry
#85. I'm a sucker for a screwed-up protagonist. We all have issues.
Chelsea Cain
#86. What the hell? We're all screwed up some way. At least you bathe and I don't have to fight you for chicks. In my book, that makes you all right.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#87. I screwed my knee up once because I fell off the stage.
Zakk Wylde
#88. My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
Demetri Martin
#89. I reached to push my hair out of my eyes, finding someone had tied a knot it in. My face screwed up in anger as I realized it was a HAPA knot. Real funny.
Kim Harrison
#90. I very much own the fact that I'm a misfit. The Internet makes everyone realize they're screwed up.
Jenny Lawson
#91. Thank God for Jerry Springer's show. I thought only black folks were that screwed up until I watched Jerry Springer.
Charles Barkley
#92. You're he best friend I've ever had. Even if things get screwed up, you'll find a way to help me.
A.G. Howard
#93. A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.
Mel Gibson
#95. Shane talking to Claire -
"In this whole screwed up town, you're the only thing that's always been right to me," He whispered. "I love you, Claire
Rachel Caine
#96. I mean, okay, let's say we're all going to get better. Let's just pretend we will. Fine. Where are we going to go after we get better? What are we going to do with all of our newfound healthy behaviors? Back out into the world that screwed us up and screwed us over. This does not sound promising.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
#97. I'm a screwed-up person who no longer knows how to communicate with the people I love. But I meant everything I told you in my letter. If I were your Nikki, I would have come back to you on Christmas Day, but I'm not Nikki. I know. And I'm sorry.
Matthew Quick
#98. Everybody's a bit screwed up, you know. You can take it as symptoms of a disorder, or you can take it as personality. Me, I'd rather think it as parts of personality.
Jarvis Cocker
#99. The best people in the world aren't those who never fail - but those who fail and learn something from it. I hope that your goal in life isn't to slide safely into death not having screwed up much.
John Townsend
#100. Remember when I said that thing about not doing anything stupid?"
"Yes."
"You screwed up.
Kieryn Nicolas
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