Top 74 Gag Me Sayings
#1. I beg your pardon. I'm not gross. (Simone)
Grody to the max. Gag me with a spoon. I've seen you in the mornings. You're not exactly well coiffed. (Jesse)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#2. I'm glad she's so smitten with her new huntsman boyfriend and all, but venison-wurst? Gag me with a harpsichord.
Nicki Elson
#3. Caught in a bad romance. Whoaaa-oh-ooooh!"
Nellie wailed along to the XM radio blaring from the enormous speakers.
"Can I uncover my ears now?" Dan called from the back, where he was reclined across the leather seat. "Has Nellie stopped her Lady Gag Me impression?
Rick Riordan
#4. Jason caught a glimpse of Piper serving drinks at the next table. She discreetly put her finger to her mouth in a gag me gesture, then went back to flirting with dead guys.
Rick Riordan
#5. She laughed. "Oh, I like it. Don't we, boys?" All three men made appreciative sounds. I had the feeling they'd have sat up and begged if she'd told them to. Arf, arf. Gag me with a spoon.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#7. Silas baked me a cake for my birthday. It was awful. I think he forgot the eggs. But it was the most beautiful chocolate failure I've ever seen. I was so happy that I didn't even make a gag face when I ate a slice. But, oh god, it was so bad. Best boyfriend ever.
Tarryn Fisher
#8. The Oscars Ceremony: a great workout for the gag reflex
Dean Cavanagh
#9. The strangest thing. I came to the end of other people so quickly. Each new person was like a glass of water, and at the beginning I was parched, but then each glass tasted a little worse, the water was grittier, and by the end even the first sip was enough to make me gag, you know?
Arthur Phillips
#10. My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to tell me to do comedy before I even tried it. She was always up for any gag.
Doug Stanhope
#11. He cannot speak clearly if his words must be strained through a Congressional gag.
Doris Kearns Goodwin
#12. Hey, you're lucky. My cabin is closest to the stables. I can hear her yelling all night: FIRST PLACE OR DEATH! AN A MINUS IS A FAILING GRADE! Leo really needs to design a gag that's better than my old sock.
Rick Riordan
#13. There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.
Adrian Edmondson
#14. I will not be a sight gag for anybody. I will not do anything degrading to myself or other fat people.
Darlene Cates
#15. Sometimes, you start with the drawing and then the gag comes to you in the middle of it. That is when you start working on the solution of the gag, which is composition, placing, equilibrium, and character design.
Sergio Aragones
#17. (Derek) "How do you see the beauty in a three-eared dog but not in a guy with big teeth?"
(Christy) "Dogs rule. People drool."
(Derek) "Only if you gag them.
Lisa Henry
#18. I'm just doing what I have to do. I don't have a choice."
"Yeah, good luck going to bed with a guilt-free conscience with that sorry-ass excuse."
The sour expression evaporated from Mr. Greek's face. His gaze switched back to the computer. "Keep talking and I'll gag you."
"Blow me.
Santino Hassell
#19. Step 4: Cough and gag. Step 5: Repeat Step 4 until it feels like maybe your lungs aren't inside your body anymore. Step 6: Remember that a really cute boy is beside you, so try to cough in a far more attractive manner.
Ally Carter
#20. I'm an author whose strength is in gag-writing.
Jeff Kinney
#21. I apply the three gag rule, which is if I can read a script without gagging more than three times, then maybe I can say yes to this job.
Peter Riegert
#22. My role is almost a sight-gag. I have to be a woman to sing the lyrics "I am a man" to have it be a joke. I start the lyric in a male-register and a whole coloratura up into a soprano. And other points in the show ... like the guy who likes to be treated like a baby and wear a diaper!
Max Von Essen
#23. I'm going to take off your gag. And if you try to bite me or grab me or anything, I'll hit you with this thing as hard as I can as many times as I can. Understood?
Holly Black
#24. Then, in the twentieth century, speed up your camera. Books cut shorter. Condensations, Digests, Tabloids. Everything boils down to the gag, the snap ending.
Ray Bradbury
#25. Naps are not a sign of physical slovenliness. They are a sign that I am listening to my body. It will reward me with stable emotions, hormones that stay in check, social finesse, continued cleverness, and the ability to write prose that does not make me gag.
Thomm Quackenbush
#26. - Little pussy like me still have bigger cock than the two of them, she say. She pull the gag out of Sacco mouth. - What you gonna do, Miss
Marlon James
#27. Typically, I prefer to gag my own men. I'd never considered having them delivered to me that way.
Dez Schwartz
#28. How do you gag the voice in your head that says, 'You don't have to go to the gym today. There's always tomorrow. C'mon, my friend, it's just one plate of curly fries. Yes, just for you!' (My inner voice reminds me of a particularly aggressive rug salesman at a Turkish bazaar.)
A. J. Jacobs
#29. You are making me something, cow-woman, or is that just make believe and pretend, like your sex life?'
'I'm making you a gag, Mickey, so I can knit in fucking peace.
Amy Lane
#30. Redwyne does not give a fig, he thought, but Rowan looks fit to gag.
George R R Martin
#32. Nobody gets any fun out of baseball any more. I guess a kid's crazy not to be serious about it when he's drawing down $20,000 or $30,000 a year, and any smart-aleck gag you try may be your last. But what's life without a laugh?
Rabbit Maranville
#33. I thought she wanted out. We should've brought cuffs and a gag." Clare frowned. "What's wrong with you, Blake? This is a rescue mission, not a kidnapping.
Jayde Scott
#34. The gag rule is, is that if any program receiving United States funding for Family Planning cannot mention, cannot speak the word "abortion" in the Third World.
Eleanor Smeal
#35. I've been known to slum it and shop in the gag-him-and-bag-him aisles, believe it or not.
Tammara Webber
#36. There is that stereotype of a nerd with the high pants and pocket protector and that kind of thing. That can sustain comedy for maybe a movie - hence the 'Revenge of the Nerds' franchise - but not for hopefully years on the air. It's a sight gag, not a story.
Johnny Galecki
#37. Sometimes you have to gag on fancy before you can appreciate plain, th' way I see it. For too many years, I ate fancy, I dressed fancy, I talked fancy. A while back, I decided to start talkin' th' way I was raised t' talk, and for th' first time in forty years, I can understand what I'm sayin'.
Jan Karon
#38. If we can but tear the blindfold of self-deception from our eyes and loosen the gag of self-denial from our voices, we can restore our country to greatness.
Theodore C. Sorensen
#39. She's in the closet." Bric and I exchange a glance. "I gagged her. I didn't fucking know what to do. I just - Goddammit. I just grabbed the ball gag from the drawer, hooked it on her, tied her hands behind her back, and threw her in our closet." "OK,
J.A. Huss
#40. If I want to kiss you, I damn well will. If I want to fuck you, I'll do that too. And if you even think about telling me it's a mistake again, I'll gag you.
Anonymous
#41. Her favorite foods made her gag, like old friends she hadn't seen in years turning up looking all wrong.
Joyce Carol Oates
#42. I read every book about Buster Keaton and Chaplin to see how they worked - it's all about dedication, tunnel vision, pursuit of perfection, getting the gag right.
Paul Merton
#43. If a footballer presents himself as a family man and goes and has sex with a prostitute, should he gag her?
Nicky Campbell
#44. Money is a terrible blab; she will betray the secrets of her owner, whatever he do to gag her. His virtues will creep out in her whisper; his vices she will cry aloud at the top of her tongue.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton
#45. What I really wanted more than anything was to put my boss on the floor and stand on his throat and watch him gag.
Scott Carrier
#46. I need a sound-proof room to tie up the inner critic, gag her and nail the door shut. But she keeps escapping. Poor knots and short nails.
Judy L Mohr
#47. children from the same womb would share the same precious blood." I gag.
Tara Brown
#48. Tough guys toughen up when faced with adversity. So he flexes his gag reflex and steps inside.
Bradley Sands
#49. Tell me why it is that a toddler will gag over a perfectly wonderful breakfast of ham, eggs, biscuits, juice, and jelly. But then he will enthusiastically drink the dog's water and play in the toilet. Truly, he is his mother's greatest challenge ... ; and her most inexpressible joy.
James Dobson
#50. Broccoli, when overboiled, produces a sulfuric stench that causes children to gag the instant they enter the house.
Kate Christensen
#51. A page a day means I need to focus on a gag a day, and that's great for laughs but bad for plot, and I'm primarily a plot guy.
Doug TenNapel
#52. I honestly do feel - and I hope I don't gag anybody if they read this - but I feel like I'm one of the luckiest people in the world.
Jonathan Banks
#53. I would like to thank the people who encouraged me to draw army cartoons at a time when the gag man's conception of the army was one of mean ole sergeants and jeeps which jump over mountains.
Bill Mauldin
#54. For the first time since hearing about the Treaty of Versailles in detail, Mondaugen found himself crying. They'll drain his juices, he thought; caress his bones with their paw-pads, gag on his fine white hair.
Anonymous
#55. I need to gag you and tie you to the bed, he declared.
Oh God.
Awesome.
Kristen Ashley
#56. Cyrus's momma thinks I'm a gift from God. I didn't have the heart to tell her if I was then God was guilty of handing out gag gifts, Joyce said.
Carolyn Brown
#57. For another thing, we're under martial law, so I can do very nearly whatever the fuck I want. Including march through your precious little ship there towing you along behind in a ball gag and lacy underwear. So your warrant bullshit? You can roll that up and fuck it. Now tell me why I'm here.
James S.A. Corey
#58. I suggest you leave now, or you'll be tied down and gagged until the end of this meeting."
"Tie us down?"
"And gag you," Joseph cheerfully reminded them.
Laura Kreitzer
#59. A cute nickname was the first mile marker on Gag Highway, heading straight to Relationshipville. And making up the names of fake roads and cities to express your unhappiness was probably the first step to insanity.
Emma Mills
#60. We could take his gag away, thought Isaac, and he wouldn't scream ... but then he might speak ... He left the gag in place.
China Mieville
#61. The modern horror audience is wise to our tricks this lets it in on the gag.
Robert Englund
#62. At the table just to get a laugh out of the younger children present (meaning Annabelle and me). For the record, I do not actually laugh when Elkin passes gas; I gag and it comes out as a laugh. Annabelle, I cannot vouch for. Good
Wendy Mass
#63. But the only game she wanted to play was Kidnapper, where she tied me up and left me in my own tree house for about twelve hours, until Dad climbed up and got me down. Why hadn't I at least called for help? I had. But no one had heard me. Probably because of the gag in my mouth.
Douglas Rees
#64. If heaven was created only for the most stupid clown, then Mr Bean could have been the only righteous man on earth.
Michael Bassey Johnson
#65. What he brought out was a wooden gag they put in someone's mouth before doing something drastic, like cutting off a leg.
Megan Whalen Turner
#66. Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell.
Michael Caine
#67. I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.
David Mamet
#68. I am beginning to realize that taking the self out of our essays is a form of repression. Taking the self out feels like obeying a gag order
pretending an objectivity where there is nothing objective about the experience of confronting and engaging with and swooning over literature.
Kate Zambreno
#69. The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'
David Letterman
#70. The handkerchief is the universal utensil of the seasoned traveler. It can be a sanitizing device, a seat cover, a dust mask, a garrote, a bandage, a gag, or a white flag. One may feel well-prepared with nothing but a pocket square.
Josiah Bancroft
#71. If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders.
George W. Bush
#72. I'm very depressed how in this country you can be told "That's offensive" as though those two words constitute an argument.
Christopher Hitchens
#73. Jairo's response came immediately. 'Yippee! Don't bring your neighbors. Gag.' Doug
Darien Cox
#74. Shall I gag you, or are you capable of being silent without my assistance?
Sarah J. Maas
