Top 100 Wisdom Humor Quotes
#1. Don't be bashful; we're among gentlemen. It's a known fact that we men are the missing link between the pirate and the pig.
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
#2. It's impossible to walk through solid rock ... You have to walk between the molecules that make up the rock.
J.M. Dattilo
#4. I only know everything if you ask the right questions.
Doc Coleman
#5. Reality + Dreams + Humor = Wisdom So
Lin Yutang
#6. Two steps forward ... one step back ... I've always hated that old cliche too ... I believe that we should all be able to dance through life and only change the tempo now and then.
Isabelle Rowan
#7. We're all odd balls; some people are just better at pretending to be even
Benny Bellamacina
#8. A big part of wisdom is to learn which situations to get involved in, or not get involved in - it really is as simple as that.
Art Hochberg
#10. I distrust all dead and mechanical formulas for expressing anything connected with human affairs and human personalities. Putting human affairs in exact formulas shows in itself a lack of the sense of humor and therefore a lack of wisdom.
Lin Yutang
#11. I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.
Margaret Thatcher
#12. Skyler often thought that the Seneca quotation Poe included was a dig at Dupin-or perhaps Poe himself: Nil sapientiae odiosius acumine nimio. "Nothing is more hateful to wisdom than excessive cleverness." "That's for sure," said Skyler aloud. "Or more succintly put, 'No one likes a smart ass'.
Haley Walsh
#13. Cricket Bell." I smiled into my phone. "How did you get so wise?
Stephanie Perkins
#14. Could it have been anyone, or was it destiny? When I'm considering this I find it helpful to quote the wisdom of my father, who once told me, Who knows why the fuck anything happens?
Ben Aaronovitch
#15. God in his infinite wisdom
Did not make me very wise-
So when my actions are stupid
They hardly take God by surprise.
Langston Hughes
#16. Writers are the most tormented of all the different categories of artists that are out there in the world.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#17. Huh! Mankind always comes up with ideas to make up for the follies of the status quo. But what happens if those ideas are inflexible and fail to respond to the changing times. They end up betraying the people who believed in them.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#18. Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Marshawn Lynch" Not really shy. Still extremely embarrassed he believed you can't be charged for beating up on large groups of people-as long as you are carrying a football.
Matthew D. Heines
#19. You get tired of always wondering anew why life has to take the place of youth.
Gary Lutz
#20. Just because a thought pops into your head does not mean it is fit to come out of your mouth.
Belle Blackburn
#21. There's no perk in being closed-minded as a minority. It's never, ever, ever going to help you, ever.
Baratunde R. Thurston
#24. Hold onto your creativity, that idealism that is rooted in some degree of innocence and a firm belief in something finer than the things we already have.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#25. Wisdom comes in the silence of one's chaos
Dora Okeyo
#26. The selfish and self-centered have a hard time being kind, even though you and I know that kindness is a source of relief to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#28. Human ties are the greatest distorters of reality because they tend to conceal man's worst selfish instincts.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#29. I've been following the noble profession of hermiting here for nigh on fifty-seven years, practising piety, sobriety, celibacy and the pursuit of true wisdom in the tradition of my father and grandfather and great-grandfather before me.
Terry Pratchett
#30. If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car
Judy Gold
#31. In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Benjamin Franklin
#33. ...True classical dropouts in society are those who avoid difficult challenges and cling to the first opportunity that comes their way. They never test their talents. These latent talents will only help to produce the next cycle of dropouts...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#34. Lettie sighed - wisdom seems to be highly correlated with sighing.
Laura May
#35. In the world of today, human desires far supersede human needs. Waste, as you can see, is the result of all of those contradictions. That is how we ended up complicating our world.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#36. Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs.
Bauvard
#37. Remember to remember: sometimes your adversary is your biggest asset. Where would David be without Goliath? Jesus without Judas?
Brandi L. Bates
#39. All art is but dirtying the paper delicately.
John Ruskin
#40. We think a wise person is someone who solves problems. Truth is, a wise person is someone who avoids problems.
Prem Rawat
#41. No one's an angel - especially if he's a man
Ken Follett
#42. Ducks and geese are foolish things, and must be looked after, but girls can take care of themselves.
Washington Irving
#43. Make me the father, O Lord, who will show my sons enough of a sense of humor, so that they will always be serious, but never take themselves too seriously. Give them humility, so they will always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Thom S. Rainer
#44. That's not a bad word ... hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn't.
Judy Blume
#45. A new day always forgives you, unless it's raining and you wake up in jail.
Bob Thurber
#47. Never make an important decision with your pants down.
Katie Thayne
#48. A guilty conscience is jealousy's playground.
L. Quick
#49. She's SINGLE doesnt really mean she's AVAILABLE.
She's IN A RELATIONSHIP doesnt really mean she's NOT INTERESTED.
She's ENGAGED doesnt really mean IT'S OVER.
IT'S JUST COMPLICATED untill she's MARRIED!
Emmanuel Aghado
#50. ...only the dreamers of a dream are capable of translating their dreams into worthy practical endeavors that are devoid of haunting errors. After all, they are the ones who carefully observed the link between their dreams and reality; they are the ones who worked consciously to blend them into one.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#51. Editing is like strawberries put on the table as a centerpiece, before the full course meal, but, you don't want them to become spoiled, or your guests will go to the neighbor's house next door.
Angel M.B. Chadwick
#52. Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
Doug Larson
#53. As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music.
Chogyam Trungpa
#54. History repeats itself but without a parity bit
Nauman Khan
#55. He made me feel an idiot, even when I knew he was a bigger one than I.
Tracy Chevalier
#56. Reality - Dreams = Animal Being Reality + Dreams = A Heart-Ache (usually called Idealism) Reality + Humor = Realism (also called Conservatism) Dreams - Humor = Fanaticism Dreams + Humor = Fantasy Reality + Dreams + Humor = Wisdom
Lin Yutang
#57. In order to grow, I promise you'll have to let go of some habits. 10 times out of 10, they'll be the habits you're most in love with.
Brandi L. Bates
#59. Kindness is a source of relief to the soul of the giver, creating a sense of fortitude that is incomprehensible to those who do not know what kindness is all about.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#62. It is better for a realist to bend his will and ethics to accommodate a true friend than it is for him to stick to his principles that may turn the friend into an adversary.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#63. And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
Mike Birbiglia
#64. There should be a device which can detect when the person is getting angry and should not let that person speak till he/she calms down. This will solve so many problems.
Nauman Khan
#66. That woman doesn't have the sense God gave a retarded flea.
Nora Roberts
#67. With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#68. Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
Terry Pratchett
#69. They can't tell so much about you if you got your eyes closed.
Ken Kesey
#71. Every time we start thinking we're the center of the universe, the universe turns around and says with a slightly distracted air, 'I'm sorry. What'd you say your name was again?
Margaret Maron
#72. I feel like I was born the day my kids were and that my life before was only there to gain wisdom for them. The point is you do your best. Your very best every day. You do it and you do it for them!
Drew Barrymore
#75. Wisdom of the Ages: "Being Poor" Of all the crimes committed in America, undoubtedly the most unforgivable.
Matthew D. Heines
#76. Staring into the dragon's maw, one quickly learns wisdom.
Steven Brust
#77. What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.
Doug Stanhope
#79. Remember these, Sons! Truth presented with tenderness enriches the soul of man and enhances humanity in the process. A Franco-Cameroonian relation based on truth and nurtured with tenderness will be to the benefit not only of Kamerun and France, but also of mankind as a whole.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#81. Cheers the spirit, humor does, even at the darkest times.
Christie Golden
#82. Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is.
Terry Pratchett
#83. Most people live lives that are full of mysteries, lives whose ultimate purpose we may never really understand. But for the sake of serenity, we must believe in life's nobleness.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#84. The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it.
Criss Jami
#85. Those who believe everything they read probably should refrain from reading.
Matt
#86. The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work.
Benny Bellamacina
#87. True heroes and ideas never fall in the final sense of the word. They can only encounter temporary setbacks in their difficult journey to progress and success,
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#88. The sexiest advice:
Dear humans, stop role-playing in your lives; these sort of things are meant to be explored only at times you won't mention in public.
Saurabh Sharma
#89. I think I've discovered the secret of life
you just hang around until you get used to it.
Charles M. Schulz
#90. ...A canonical leader is someone whose exemplary rule might have appeared to be for the alleviation of the pains and miseries of a particular group, but which in reality is for the advancement of humanism...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#91. We need the wisdom to accept the fact that this world abounds with issues we cannot solve; and we need to part ways with those people, ideas and things that are a vexation to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#92. Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.
Eric Idle
#93. Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born.
Dakota Dawn
#95. A nationalist will blindly follow his country to his death out of love for it. A patriot will stand up for and even against his country to his death out of love for it.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#96. Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams
#97. I think preconceived ideas or prejudgments are meant to give us an edge whenever we are dealing with others we don't know or haven't made the effort to understand.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#100. Your never over the hill to find true love because sometimes, that's where it is
Benny Bellamacina
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