Wife'll Quotes

#1. C'mon, just a little kiss,' whispered Mister Murphy. 'The wife'll never hear it from me. You like workin' here, don't you Ruby?

Juliet James

#2. I'll usually stay up a little later than my wife and play Xbox, a little 'Modern Warfare 3.' Or I'll have a friend over, and we'll play board games until late at night. I'll always choose fun over sleep.

Rich Sommer

#3. I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

Rodney Dangerfield

#4. To you, death does not simply end life. It steals away the sunsets you'll never see, the children you'll never hold, the wife you'll never love. It's frightening to almost lose your future, and it's heartbreaking to witness death snuff out other people's tomorrows.

Robert Liparulo

#5. I loved them too and while you might lay a greater claim to them, I defy you to miss your wife any more than I'll miss my best friend or your child, who was every inch a son to me.

Fiona McIntosh

#6. My wife always says that I will be stuck with this forever: I am the difficult one. With Jack Nicholson they always said it was drugs. Warren Beatty is supposed to have screwed everything that jumped off the curve. I'll tell you, in reality a few of us had as many girls as Warren.

Dustin Hoffman

#7. I remember my wife wanted me to go see 'Contagion,' and I was like, 'Oh my God, why would I want to see that movie?' I mean, I'll just have nightmares and it will freak me out. It turned out that I really enjoyed it; I thought it was very well done.

Steve Carell

#8. People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man does not drive, there is something wrong with him.

Art Buchwald

#9. Ildiko had been tempted more than a few times to cross her eyes and watch their reaction.
"Don't even think about it, wife. You'll notice half of them are sharpening or cleaning their weapons. All I need is for someone to inadvertently slice themselves open because you startled them.

Grace Draven

#10. If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler.

Tracy Morgan

#11. People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

Erma Bombeck

#12. Stop lusting after my brother, wife." Elliott said without looking up from where a laptop sat on a large desk. "Else I'll have to get the parrot out.

Katie MacAlister

#13. When you marry a woman out of pity, then its a pity that you'll send her away very soon.

Michael Bassey Johnson

#14. That's enough naughty girl," you say in a mocking tone, "I am going to put you over my knee and spank you for being such a bad wife tonight. It will hurt, but you're going to enjoy it a lot more than you'll admit ...

Felicity Brandon

#15. She's my sister. I'll handle this."
"She's my wife," Arik shot back. "Husband trumps the brother card. So get the fuck out and don't come back until you have your temper under control.

Larissa Ione

#16. I love you, Lottie, and I want to make you my wife." Stone's low voice rumbled between them. Ardent. Unwavering. Determined. "I'll pursue you," he vowed, "until a parson either joins us in marriage or speaks words over my grave.

Karen Witemeyer

#17. My whole approach to marriage is simple: my wife will do something that drives me insane, I won't say anything, and then, later, I'll die of cancer.

Dana Gould

#18. We've all become so conscious of how we'll be perceived and so frightened to
possibly offend someone that we've filtered ourselves to what borders on dishonesty. Sure, as my wife constantly reminds me, you don't have to say everything you think; but when did speaking plainly become such a sin?

Aaron Blaylock

#19. instead a different sort of joy, a little girl tucked up between him and his wife, babbling away. She'll be just learning to talk now, all "Dada" and "Mama" and a secret language incomprehensible to anyone but a parent.

Paula Hawkins

#20. My wife loves football, but I think she's resigned to the fact that I'll never make it there.

Mario Andretti

#21. Never tell. Not if you love your wife ... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do ...

Lenny Bruce

#22. She's my wife," Vlad growled before I could correct the misassumption. "And if your cock twitches one more time while you look at her, I'll burn it off.

Jeaniene Frost

#23. I thought Clint Eastwood was cool in all the western movies, but I'm not gonna drive somewhere he's at and stand in line to see him. I told Missy, my wife, 'The only person I'd stand in line for is God Almighty. You made the universe? All right, I'll get in line!'

Jase Robertson

#24. Viola to Duke Orsino: 'I'll do my best
To woo your lady.'
[Aside.] 'Yet, a barful strife! Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.

William Shakespeare

#25. I think about being married again, having a home and a wife. No one can ever be married too many times, and maybe if I keep trying I'll get it right one day.

Richard Pryor

#26. Should I string her up or strangle her in bed, suffocate that venomous head? Or perhaps I'll just whip her to death. Listen, do me a favor, kill my wife.

Rod Stewart

#27. Once upon a time, in a tiny village called Talry on the bank of the great river Burine, in the Riverlands Barony of Varune, the Duchy of Castal, a Great and Powerful Mage was born unto a common man and his wife. I'll spare you the suspense. It was me.

Terry Mancour

#28. You've got so much up ahead
You'll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife
And I'd end up saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life

Brad Paisley

#29. Covered in tats and can't take your girlfriend getting a simple script. I'll be finished in a minute, Mate."

Travis' frown deepened. "Wife. She's my wife.

Jamie McGuire

#30. My roots are ready, but I'll manage to grow only with the help of
others. Not just you or J. or my wife but people I've never met

Paulo Coelho

#31. It is my responsibility as the man who loves you and wants you to be his wife to mend what's broken in you ... I'll not forget again that I must treat you with care.

Kristen Ashley

#32. Turner let his face fell into his hands. "I'm never going to touch her again", he moaned.
"He's never going to touch me again!" they heard Miranda roar.
"Well,it doesn't look like you'll have much argument from your wife on that point", Olivia chirped.

Julia Quinn

#33. I don't care how much money he (Frank Viola) makes. He can have my locker, I'll take him to all the best restaurants and show him New York. He can even have my wife, but he can't have my number, no way.

Dwight Gooden

#34. Show me a wife who doesn't offer advice and I'll show you one who doesn't care very much.

Barbara Bush

#35. My wife's father said if you marry my daughter I'll give you three acres and a cow. I'm still waiting for the three acres.

Max Miller

#36. One day. I am going to marry you. I'll be generous and let you pick when, even if it's ten years from now. Or twenty. But one day, you are going to be my wife.

Sarah J. Maas

#37. No matter what happens, please remember that I love you, hridaya patni. Promise me that you'll remember."
"It's a pet name our father used to call our mother. It means ... wife of my heart.

Colleen Houck

#38. And who e'er said I wanted such a fiery-tongued woman to wife?"
"I'll wait until the two of you are married to tell Trulie you said that.

Maeve Greyson

#39. In my home, who is my boss? If you ask my wife she'll say certainly not her. She claims that she can't make me do anything and so she's not my boss. I am. I'm pretty sure, maybe.

Morgan Freeman

#40. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

#41. If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe. If she's happy then I'll be happy.

Chris Daughtry

#42. My approach in life is very clear: if there is an error, I tend to apologise and indeed most mornings I'll apologise in advance to my wife for the inevitable errors I'm going to make during the course of a day.

Greg Hunt

#43. I think she is marvelous. She is untouched by politics, unmarred and untainted. She is absolutely, brilliantly humble. Honest, hardworking. And it would be my honor that she accept to be my wife. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a country to govern and a woman to woo.

Katy Evans

#44. My wife, whenever I'd go off to work and I'd be kind of anxious, she'll say, 'Remember, have fun.' Oh, I forgot, thanks for the reminder. Because sometimes we do forget. We take it all too seriously and there's a lot of joy to be had wherever you are.

Jeff Bridges

#45. Your wife has deserted you, but you'll find a new one; whereas, soon my wits will desert me, and for this there is no remedy.

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#46. Jimmy: You'll end up like one of those chocolate merengues my wife is so fond of [Alison starts banging jars] ... sweet and sticky on the outside, and sink your teeth in it [savouring every word]-inside, all white, messy and disgusting. [offering teapot sweetly to Helena] Milk?

John Osborne

#47. Voices are a good way to get in and out of things. James Carville constantly calls my wife to say I'll be home late. Mandy Patinkin and Al Pacino call to get me restaurant reservations.

Bill Hader

#48. I want you. I want that, what they had today. I want it all, and I want it with you. I want you, want you to be my wife. I've got a ring, I'll give it to you right now if you'll say yes.

Alice Clayton

#49. Some days I'll cook, and then some days my wife will cook. For me, obviously on Sundays a lot of times we do the sauce and the meatballs and pasta, the whole thing.

Joey Fatone

#50. As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

Groucho Marx

#51. I had to see you this night. One more time before I say my vows tomorrow. Once spoken, I'll never break them. I'd not betray my wife or my clan.

Maya Banks

#52. Look after your wife; never mind yourself
she'll look after you.

Sacha Guitry

#53. I remember a point in [writing] the story where I said, "This isn't working, I should go and buy something at the supermarket or my wife will kill me." Then I said, "No, I'll go on."

Etgar Keret

#54. ... but don't ever forget that he's also Gideon Cross. You've got everything you need to be the perfect wife for a man of his stature, but you're still replaceable, Eva. What he's built is not. You jeopardize his empire and he'll leave you.

Sylvia Day

#55. I'll take a foot fetish with a man and his wife over a foot fetish with a man and his mistress any day. I don't care what they do. You go with it with your marriage and have a good time.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

#56. If you think I'm going to tell my wife she came in second place, you're out of your gourd. I'll convey the apology and not another bloody word.

Johanna Lindsey

#57. Fans always ask me to marry them so I'll have a lot of wives

Niall Horan

#58. I think you will like your life in the Transport Service, but it'll be far from normal. Being a slave ... or a goatherd's wife ... is closer to normal. A deep-space response ship pilot is a very, very rare thing.

J.Z. Colby

#59. The real boss in the family is my wife. She didn't want me hanging around the house all day and said, 'You don't want to retire; you'll regret it.' So I listened to her.

Bill Gross

#60. With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

Rodney Dangerfield

#61. Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to
your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any
difference.

Groucho Marx

#62. I guess as long as people think of me for different ages, I'll trust their opinion. I remember noticing one year that Michelle Monaghan played 34 and 19, so I've kind of clung to that as my justification that I can be Jake Gyllenhaal's wife and a freshman in college in the same year.

Anna Kendrick

#63. Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.

Harriet Lerner

#64. My wife gets mad because we'll be in the middle of something and I'll stop and say, 'No, I've got to write this down!' She'll say, 'No! We're in a discussion!' I say, 'I know, but it's hilarious!

Henry Cho

#65. Come on, wife. Come take a little ride with me. Let me show you all the things you'll be missing when you go back East and leave me here with a broken heart.

Elle Casey

#66. If my wife finds comfort in trite Gispy homilies, I have no objection to your offering them. However, if you ever kiss her again, no matter how platonic the fashion, I'll make a eunuch of you.

Lisa Kleypas

#67. When I lived in New York, I discovered these Russian & Turkish Baths in East 10th Street. Great for a platza treatment - plus, you'll run into the world and his wife there.

Ben Elliot

#68. And as Prince Ramil has insulted you by choosing another wife than the one you proposed for him, you'll want to cast him out too," she suggested slyly.
"Oh, undoubtedly," murmed Ramil. "Do cast me out.

Julia Golding

#69. I've been married three times, but I'll never forget my first trip as a young man, on my honeymoon, with my new wife.

Joe Pesci

#70. I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

Emo Philips

#71. Do you realize how many kids I'll be raising if all my friends and my brother and his wife all die in a tragic cruise ship disaster?

Mary Calmes

#72. Tomorrow,"he ground out, "you'll be my wife."

Her eyes blinked in agreement.

"But tonight, I'll make you my mate."

~Dante

Tina Folsom

#73. I promise to make this quick as my wife just informed me several minutes ago that she's been in labor for the last five hours, and I really don't want her to give birth to our first child down there in the front row." ... "Tell him to hang on, honey, I'll be done in a minute.

Tina Reber

#74. This is a way to kill a wife with kindness,
And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak. 'Tis charity to show.

William Shakespeare

#75. As my wife says, I'll never fully retire, but it'll start to slow down. I'll continue to do the local gigs or go to Las Vegas. But I won't be going out to Ohio to play an Indian casino anymore. Those will probably go by the wayside.

Bill Engvall

#76. That's silly talk ... Talk to my wife. She'll tell me I need to learn to just put my socks on the hamper.

Barack Obama

#77. Anything a wife should do, I'm terrible at. Anything a mistress should do, I'll try.

Tori Amos

#78. Cleverness is a quality a man likes to have in his wife as long as she is some distance away from him. Up close, he'll take kindness any day of the week, if there's nothing more alluring to be had.

Margaret Atwood

#79. An arrow isn't the only thing I shoot straight. If you ever come near my wife, you'll be hauled off in a body bag.

Lucy McConnell

#80. Are you asking if I would have been better off if I'd never met my wife, or married her, or lost her? I'll tell you this, a day with her was better than a life without her.

Alice Hoffman

#81. Sing out and say something, my hearties. Roar and pull, my thunderbolts! Beach me, beach me on their black backs, boys; only do that for me, and I'll sign over to you my Martha's Vineyard plantation, boys; including wife and children, boys.

Herman Melville

#82. If you make a film about a pig farmer in Wales and you are a huge hit as the pig farmer's wife, the next thing is you'll be asked to do a film about a sheep farmer in Scotland.

Kristin Scott Thomas

#83. Nobody listens anymore. I can't talk to the walls because they're yelling at me, I can't talk to my wife; she listens to the walls. I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. And I want you to teach me to understand what I read.

Ray Bradbury

#84. I'm pretty quiet. But I love to play sports. I like playing all sports. I'll act goofy at times around my wife and my son, around my own family. I like to have fun in general.

Steve Blake

#85. Whatever I design, it has to please my eye. If I go to work on an office block, I'll draw the office that I want to walk into. If it's a piece of crystal, it must feel the way I want it to feel in my hand. If it's women's wear, it must be something I'd like to see my wife dressed in.

John Rocha

#86. My wife always hates when I go, 'I just don't love female action movies.' I don't know why. I'll watch them, but I don't run to go and see them.

Channing Tatum

#87. If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name.

Moshe Dayan

#88. I want to be your husband, Lucy. I want to be the guy who carries your bag, and holds your hand and sits next to you on planes. I want to be the one who supports you in your career and in your life. The man who loves you through thick and thin. And I'm hoping you'll say yes to being my wife.

Renee Rose

#89. Grandma Ponder said, Show me a man wears a diamond ring, and I'll show you a wife beater.

Eudora Welty

#90. You'll see a lot of funny stuff, you'll see a lot of daddy-knows-best stuff, you'll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together.

Russell Simmons

#91. You know what I'll do? I'll get a knife and cut out his tongue, and we'll send it to his wife

John Stanfa

#92. You'll move if I say so," Hap said. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church." "Only so long as he alive," I said. "For if the husband be dead the wife is loosed from his law. Says so in Romans.

Hillary Jordan

#93. Made no fuss and helped around the house without making a song and dance about it. She'll make Dr Fforde a good wife, reflected Aunt Leticia.

Betty Neels

#94. But your book is wrong, Mrs. Strunk, says George, when it tells you that Jim is the substitute I found for a real son, a real kid brother, a real husband, a real wife. Jim wasn't a substitute for anything. And there is no substitute for Jim, if you'll forgive my saying so, anywhere.

Christopher Isherwood

#95. I'll never know what my life would have been like if they hadn't made Lawrence of Arabia. What would I be? I would maybe have 10 children, a very fat wife. I would be very fat myself. I don't know.

Omar Sharif

#96. Some clown shouting, "I want my lawyer, I want my lawyer, you guys run this place just like a frigging prison." Burkes: "Shut up in there, or I'll rank you." The clown: "I ranked your wife, Burkie." Gonyar:

Stephen King

#97. Fergie will sing ballads to the dogs and they'll sit there rapt. You know your wife's a star when she keeps the dogs entertained for 20 minutes.

Josh Duhamel

#98. I'll never get enough of this woman - my wife. I want to please her. I want to own her completely: Mind, body and soul. I want her to be my physical property. She is my physical property. When her eyes meet mine, I know without a doubt that I would do anything for her - anything.

Ella Dominguez

#99. Turning the heat up on the red carpet while still looking like a lady isn't as easy as it sounds. Too much va-va-voom, and a girl can look like she just stepped out of 'Jersey Shore.' Too little, and she'll look like a sister wife.

Derek Blasberg

#100. I think she'll fit quite well. As wives go, Miss Pursling will be just like these books. When I wish to take her down and read her, she'll be there. When I don't, she'll wait patiently, precisely where she was left. She'll make me a comfortable wife, Ames. Besides, my mother likes her.

Courtney Milan