Top 100 Stoned Quotes
#1. I should've died a hundred thousand times,Teetering stoned off the side of a building.Nobody loved me and nobody even triedYou can't hang on to something that won't stop moving.Singing and dancing to them nighttime songs.
Ryan Adams
#2. We can always be sure of one thing - that the messengers of discomfort and sacrifice will be stoned and pelted by those who wish to preserve at all costs their own contentment. This is not a lesson that is confined to the Testaments.
Christopher Hitchens
#3. God favors drunks, small children, and the cataclysmically stoned ...
Stephen King
#4. I can remember times coming home from a chess club at four in the morning when I was half asleep and half dead and forcing myself to pray an hour and study (the Bible) an hour. You know, I
was half out of my head-stoned almost.
Bobby Fischer
#5. Yeah, yeah, I've been Beatled, I've been Rolling Stoned.
Sammy Hagar
#6. The Netherlands are wet, flat and full of stoned people.
John Entwistle
#7. One thing I will say, they often take it better than a man. Pain, that is. Probably the residue of tolerance from when they were all bloody witches and got stoned or burned or drowned for it, eh lad? Never tell your mother I said that, by the way.
Sarah Hall
#8. This floor, here? I remember when this floor here used to get to jumping' like a fuckin' bunny from all the dancing'. Everybody dancing' around all night, stoned out of their minds - and it always was the happy kind of stoned back then.
Daniel Woodrell
#9. If more people were stoned there would be less violence in the world.
Tommy Chong
#10. But I would not feel so all alone, everybody must get stoned.
Bob Dylan
#11. Pot itself has nothing to do with pots and pans, but comes from the Mexican-Spanish word potiguaya, which means marijuana leaves. And marijuana is a Mexification of 'Mary Jane' for reasons that everybody is much too stoned to remember.
Mark Forsyth
#12. A code that forbids you to cast the first stone, has forbidden you to admit the identity of stones and to know when or if you're being stoned.
Ayn Rand
#13. Colour is what gives jewels their worth. They light up and enhance the face. Nothing is more elegant than a black skirt and sweater worn with a sparkling multi-stoned necklace.
Christian Dior
#14. I always thought Uncle Vanya could be a stoned masterpiece.
Vera Farmiga
#15. A man who layeth with another man must be stoned.
George Takei
#16. After a while the scene started to fade, and I became dimly conscious, once more, that I was in London, stoned, hallucinating Agincourt on the sleeve of my dressing gown. It
Oliver Sacks
#17. Wishful thinking about the peaceful tolerance of Islam cannot interpret away this reality: hands are still cut off, women still stoned and enslaved, just as the Prophet Muhammad decided centuries ago.
Ayaan Hirsi Ali
#18. Out here on the perimeter there are no stars. Out here we is stoned. Immaculate.
Jim Morrison
#19. Apart from 'Stoned,' I can't think of a film that's made me think, 'Blimey, that should have been at Cannes.'
Eric Fellner
#21. Some would say eccentric. I would say stoned out of his fuckin mind, nothing personal.
Thomas Pynchon
#22. I'm not drunk, just a little stoned.
Gerard Way
#23. Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.
Frankie Boyle
#24. I have wrinkles here, which are very evident. And I will particularly say when I look at movie posters, 'You guys have airbrushed my forehead. Please can you change it back?' I'd rather be the woman they're saying 'She's looking older' about than 'She's looking stoned.'
Kate Winslet
#25. Now Listen You know I work so hard, all day long Everything I try to do, Seem to always turn out wrong That's why I wanna stop by on my way home and say Let's go get stoned
Ray Charles
#26. Have you ever wondered why the slang terms for intoxication are so demolition-oriented? Stoned, smashed, hammered. It's because they're talking about the Ego. It's the Ego that gets blasted, waxed, plastered.
Steven Pressfield
#27. Weed, you know, you just get mellow. You can drive pretty stoned and be OK. I mean, sometimes you get too stoned and you can't drive. But you could get pretty stoned and still drive.
Jason Mewes
#28. I once cured an amateur skydiver of acute acrophobia. Now you could say he was all right because he was able to jump, but you could also say he was not all right because he was so stoned he neglected to open his parachute.
Robert Preston
#29. There's nothing heroic about suicide bombers. They're mostly just dumb, brainwashed kids, stoned out of their minds.
Marcus Luttrell
#30. It's a good day when you can get two birds stoned at once.
Jean Ferris
#31. Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Fulton J. Sheen
#32. Everyone recognizes that Stephen was Spirit-filled when he was performing wonders. Yet, he was just as Spirit-filled when he was being stoned to death.
Leonard Ravenhill
#33. I'm an idiot anyway, but sometimes you feel like an idiot times ten when you're stoned.
Billie Joe Armstrong
#34. Getting anything out of my husband is like trying to squeeze water out when you're stoned.
Zadie Smith
#35. I get stoned, I can't get home, I'm calling long distance on a public saxophone. My head is achin', my back is breakin', feel I got run over by Captain Coconut and his dog named Rover.
Jimi Hendrix
#36. The evangelism of Billy Graham is revered, so that if one dares to call the message of Graham the doctrine of Pelagius out of hell, as the Canons of Dordt do indeed call it, he is likely to be stoned as a blasphemer in the streets of Reformed Jerusalem. (3rd edn, p. 63)
David J. Engelsma
#37. But the thing is, I didn't make my friends happy and they didn't make me happy. All we did was get stoned out of our minds. That didn't have anything to do with happiness.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
#38. To all my friends in Los Angeles: the Sultan of Brunei, owner of the Beverly Hills Hotel, has signed legislation calling for gay people to be stoned to death.
Cleve Jones
#39. To be a successful boxer, the last thing you need to be doing is turning up to the gym stoned. You're going to get beaten up if you do that.
David Haye
#40. Even as the nineteenth century had to come to grips with the notion of human descent from apes, we must now come to terms with the fact that those apes were stoned apes.
Terence McKenna
#42. Have you ever been experienced? Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.
Jimi Hendrix
#43. Bezos is super smart; don't get me wrong. He just makes ordinary control freaks look like stoned hippies.
Steve Yegge
#44. You see, she was gonna be an actress and I was gonna learn to fly. She took off to find the footlights, and I took off for the sky. And here, she's acting happy, inside her handsome home. And me, I'm flying in my taxi, taking tips, and getting stoned. I go flying so high, when I'm stoned.
Harry Chapin
#45. Different kinds of crazy hurt in similar ways, like being stoned to death versus being burned at the stake.
Hymn Herself
#46. Who knows CPR?" asks the one who grabbed Hodges. A roadie with a long graying ponytail steps forward. He's wearing a faded Judas Coyne tee-shirt, and his eyes are bright red. "I do, but man, I'm so stoned." "Try
Stephen King
#47. Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned old man with glaucoma.
Conan O'Brien
#48. In fact I think now we've reached a point now, where the powers that be really have sort of vested interest in all of us being stoned out as much as possible all the time so we don't know what's going on, and we don't care.
Lester Bangs
#50. You do get the pregnant mush-brain ... you know what it's like? It's like getting stoned.
Kate Hudson
#51. I do not wish to live in a society where you are stoned for adultery. I prefer to live in a society where we get stoned first, and then commit adultery.
Ibn Warraq
#52. Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread, and serve you French toast again. Okay, I still get stoned.
Sheryl Crow
#53. Money is my drug of choice
and you can't make money if you're always stoned or high. (Twila Taunton in Redneck P.I.)
Trish Jackson
#54. You try getting through the Hollows traffic with a stoned redhead hanging out the window shouting, 'I'm king of the world!' ~Lee
Kim Harrison
#55. He's halfway sick and halfway stoned. He'd sure like to kick, but he's too far gone. So they wind him down with methadone.
James Taylor
#56. [Dean Martin] is an absolute, unqualified drunk. And if we ever develop an Olympic drinking team, he's gonna be the coach ... Dean Martin has been stoned more often than the United States embassies.
Frank Sinatra
#57. Neely O'Hara: [drunk in a bar] Who's stoned? I am merely traveling incognito.
Jacqueline Susann
#59. I want to take long romantic walks up your arm with my lips.
I wanna picnic on the arc of your neck and sneak a bottle of wine
in a thermos with you and get stoned
somewhere on the mossy side of your ribs.
Shinji Moon
#60. I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it's so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
Beatrice Sparks
#61. As a reward for their efforts, however, those early Christians were beaten, stoned to death, thrown to the lions, tortured and crucified. Every conceivable method was used to stop them from talking.
Josh McDowell
#62. Persecution cannot harm him who stands by Truth. Did not Socrates fall proudly a victim in body? Was not Paul stoned for the sake of the Truth? It is our inner selves that hurt us when we disobey it, and it kills us when we betray it.
Khalil Gibran
#63. Anybody see 'Cop Land'? I went to go see it, but I got stoned in the parking lot. And then on the way in, I read the marquee, and I got paranoid and went home.
Arj Barker
#64. Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.
Tina Fey
#65. Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons
#66. My review of 2001, the year, is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It went on too long, it was hard to follow, and you could only enjoy it if you were really, really, *really* stoned.
Lewis Black
#67. I make my protein drink with whiskey. People think I'm crazy, but that's the way I am. I get stoned, I do my own thing.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
#68. My soul may be stoned an' my luck may be rotted but I can still cuss a cuss
David Mitchell
#69. I don't shake at the site of alcohol anymore. I don't feel the need for it. If anything I'll get stoned. I always told myself if it got to the point that it was affecting my songwriting and music that I'd stop. And it did get to the point.
Julian Casablancas
#70. You see in such a world as this, an idealist -or perhaps it's only a sentimentalist-must be stoned to death. He makes the others so uncomfortable. He haunts them at their golf.
Ford Madox Ford
#71. I'm more than ever of the opinion that a decent human existence is possible today only on the fringes of society, where one then runs the risk of starving or being stoned to death. In these circumstances, a sense of humor is a great help.
Hannah Arendt
#72. Though it's frequently portrayed as this crazy, unbridled festival of rain-soaked, stoned hippies dancing in the mud, Woodstock was obviously much more than that - or we wouldn't still be talking about it in 2009. People of all ages and colors came together in the fields of Max Yasgur's farm.
Richie Havens
#73. I liked speed. I was on black beauties all the time. Nothing bad happened to me. I didn't become a drug addict because I always had to make a movie. We weren't stoned when we made them; I was stoned when I made movies up. I did them all.
John Waters
#74. To me, Doors fans were always the 16-year-old idiots at parties, getting stoned, and talking about how Morrison's lyrics were like poetry ... like that was a deep thought.
Bruce McCulloch
#75. If you stay in bed all day with the covers over your head, if you overeat for the millionth time in your life, if you get drunk, if you get stoned, if it's just this habitual thing that you think is going to make you feel better, you know that's going to depress you and make you more discouraged.
Pema Chodron
#76. Paul never developed a negative attitude. He picked his bloody body up out of the dirt and went back into the city where he had almost been stoned to death, and he said, "Hey, about that sermon I didn't finish preaching - here it is!"
John Hagee
#77. When Stephen declares that he sees the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God, he is stoned for blasphemy because, in the view of these Jews, no one has the right to be at the side of God's heavenly presence.
Darrell L. Bock
#78. Most of us aren't equipped to handle miracles, man. I'm not sure that I am, not without being seriously stoned.
Stephen Dedman
#79. I have some memories of certain things that happened in high school when I was stoned out of my mind, but I talked with other people about them, and I trusted the aggregated memories.
Gary Shteyngart
#80. Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?"
Bill Cosby
#81. I put one on the turntable and when the needle dropped, I was stunned - didn't know whether I was stoned or straight.
Bob Dylan
#82. Even when they're not stoned, adolescents live in a world of ideation of their own making and follow trains of thought to extreme conclusions, despite overwhelming evidence that they're just plain wrong
Marc Lewis
#83. You know what's really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.
Bill O'Reilly
#84. And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But its better than drinkin' alone
Billy Joel
#85. It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
Bob Saget
#86. Where did Wayne Newton go when the USA went to shit? I was more stoned than I had realized.
James Howard Kunstler
#87. Hough I have to say nothing beats Type O mixed with a little cannabis." A muscle worked in David's jaw. "You're stoned?"
"Not Really," I said. "Though I do have a strange craving for pizza. Extra garlic.
Jaye Wells
#88. That was one thing you found out when you were stoned, or wasted, or feverish: that the world was always turning and that only a healthy mind could block out the sickening whirl of it.
Joe Hill
#89. If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.
Kinky Friedman
#90. I would like to say how much I resent people who say of the Islamic Republic that this is our culture - as if women like to be stoned to death, or as if they like to be married at the age of nine.
Azar Nafisi
#91. Multitasking makes you stupid - dumber than getting stoned.
Brigid Schulte
#92. A 'sign of weakness' for a male celebrity is being found to be unfaithful, or unkind to an employee, or having crashed their car while stoned out of their tiny minds. A 'sign of weakness' for a woman, on the other hand, can be a single, unflattering picture.
Caitlin Moran
#93. When you look at the gladiator times or at any of the things in human history, people are and have always been attracted to violence to the point where they're in stadiums still to this day watching people getting stoned to death.
Rosario Dawson
#94. Initially, I was very much concerned with having absolute control. But as time has gone by, I'm not. I mean, the whole first record was really just how I spent my free time: stoned and drinking coffee in my house, spending three hours on a song.
Dee Dee Ramone
#95. I get a lot of people complaining about my ambiguity, often in cases which there is nothing ambigous at all. As far as I can see, people read it when they were half stoned and listening to the TV. Then they come back and say gee, it's impossible to figure out what's going on in a story.
Gene Wolfe
#96. Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.
Robin Williams
#97. Then she declared loudly, "Smoke break!" and everyone's eyes came to us, some of them shocked seeing as these days you could light up a doobie and no one would blink but if you lit up a smoke, you courted being publicly stoned to death.
Kristen Ashley
#98. The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death.
Tucker Carlson
#99. I would like to find a way in which people in Saudi Arabia could learn that they can be something other than a Muslim. Some people may not realize this. Of course, there is the problem that you can get in trouble or get stoned.
Richard Dawkins
#100. All I can say is I've been reading the lips of bleeped-out words, angry baseball players, and stoned-out rock stars on awards shows for years and it's been hilarious. Everyone is always asking me what the bleeped-out parts are saying.
Marlee Matlin
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