Stand Up Guy Quotes

#1. The Master of Ceremonies in 'Bridge and Tunnel' is a wonderful man, if I do say so myself. I talk about all the characters in the third person. But, he is a really congenial ... just a good stand-up guy, who happens to be Pakistani-American. He's been here for years.

Sarah Jones

#2. And if people do like me, I think it's because I'm a stand-up guy.

David Duval

#3. Kraut was a stand-up guy in the old tradition, in a strange way reminiscent of my father in his steadfast refusal to abandon a position once he had taken it. It was a quality I lacked, and so admired in others when they weren't using it to beat me to the canvas or break my heart.

Miles Watson

#4. I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'

Aziz Ansari

#5. You're the fall guy, Winch. You're the guy they come to when no one else will stand up and take their medicine. And they come to you because you never make them stand up and take it.

Liz Reinhardt

#6. The Comedy Store - all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys and some women, but mostly guys who weren't funny were doing stand up for a living; they weren't accountants, they were making $30-$50 grand a year on the road, or more.

Bob Saget

#7. I woke up this morning exhausted from hiding the me of me. So I stand here confiding there's more to Devon than jump shot and rim. I'm more than tall and lengthy of limb. I dare you to peep behind these eyes, discover the poet in tough-guy disguise. Don't call me Jump Shot. My name is surprise.

Nikki Grimes

#8. If you are going to make a change, make it big and bold. Walk up to the biggest guy on the block, stand in his face and get it started. Then go around, brigade by brigade, making it make sense.

Eric Shinseki

#9. It's really interesting making films and actually seeing the life that they have in the subsequent years and seeing which ones stand up over time and which ones sort of fade away.

Guy Pearce

#10. You have to teach 'em not to mess with you. You gotta be the big guy don't let him hurt you. If he hits you stand back up and beat the shit out of him.

Skye Perez

#11. Even before I did stand-up, I've always been the kind of guy - and I talk about it on stage - who says I like people and I always look for the good in people. I say, 'Every person has something good about them, if you can just find it.'

Larry The Cable Guy

#12. I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

Zach Galifianakis

#13. When faced with a situation, the confidence you stand up to that situation with usually pushes the other person to back down because the guy that is trying to start the fight doesn't really want to fight. He just wants a scene.

Sean Faris

#14. I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality either. It's the personality of a guy who hasn't been able to say what he wanted to say.

Chris Rock

#15. I said, I'm going to stand up and somebody is going to pay attention to me.

Buddy Guy

#16. My show is not just a cop hosting a talk show - the two are completely different. My show is about helping people stand up to the bad guy.

Steve Wilkos

#17. Growing up in a very rural and remote area in Colorado's San Luis Valley - one of the poorest counties in the United States - essentially created the framework of values from which I operate. I stand up for the little guy. I fight discrimination at all levels. I fight for an inclusive America.

Ken Salazar

#18. Don't forget, I've been fired by studios; I'm not the studio's guy. I'm a guy who can work with studios, but if you ask any studio, I stand up to these people.

Glen Mazzara

#19. You need somebody to stand up for you. You're the little guy, you just don't realize it yet. The Commonwealth has all the aces, and you don't even know you're playing cards.

Lisa Scottoline

#20. My virginity's still intact, Guy," I say as I stand up and brush the dirt from my butt. "Yours, on the other hand, has been gone for so long I've seen it on the side of a milk carton.

Cheryl McIntyre

#21. If a guy like you can stand up and do what you did then maybe everyone can. Maybe everyone can live beyond what they're capable of.
And that's when I realize: I'm not the messenger at all. I'm the message.

Markus Zusak

#22. My mother taught me not to take any crap from anyone and to stand up for my rights. You might not believe this lesson came from a tiny Japanese woman, but it's true.

Guy Kawasaki

#23. I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic.

Eugene Levy

#24. He taught me to fight, to defend myself, to stand up for what I believe in, and protect people I love. I thanked him for that lesson after that weekend in New Orleans when some guy put his hands on Delia, and I had to tear him apart.

Jolene Perry

#25. I can't stand girls who laugh at everything I say like I'm the funniest guy in the world. I like girls who tell it like it is, no kissing up to me because I'm on TV.

Jeremy London

#26. I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

Dane Cook

#27. Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.

Captain Beefheart

#28. If a guy as good and decent with as much grace as Chuck Heston can stand up for an issue that I think is very important ... then I certainly could stand up and I plan on remaining a life member for life.

Tom Selleck

#29. As far as just my stand-up is concerned, I don't care about changing anyone's mind. I'm not making an argument. I'm a guy doing comedy.

David Cross

#30. I say this with no fear of contradiction. Jonas Barnes is absolutely, positively the funniest stand-up comic I have ever seen. Of course, I almost never leave my home. Jonas is a great guy and was a big help to me.

Danny Bonaduce

#31. You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

Bill Burr

#32. It seems to me that they only seem to mention things in the Bible that are within a 5 mile radius of the guy writing it.

Jim Jefferies

#33. Stand-up is every man for himself; you learn from hanging out at these clubs and watching other guys, and then trying not to be like them.

Harold Ramis

#34. The thing that's changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There might be a joke or two in the past that I wish I hadn't done, but in the past, you can't have it back.

Larry The Cable Guy

#35. I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

Norm MacDonald

#36. We need leaders who will stand up for the little guy and listen once again.

Sarah Palin

#37. I wasn't going to turn away one of the most talented designers and hardest working laborers I'd ever encountered just because years ago some guy he dated didn't know how to stand up to his daddy and took the bitch way out.

A.E. Via

#38. You're not making a whole lot of sense."
"I am in my head," I mutter. What does he need me to do here? Stand up on the table and yell, "Hello! Hot guy! I'm into you!

Allison Rushby

#39. I like the sound of laughter. I was the guy in the group of friends that would always make the friends laugh. And everyone was like, 'You should do stand up,' so I gave it a shot, and ta-da! They were right.

Russell Peters

#40. Jason [Nash] is just someone that I've known socially and through his stand-up, seeing him do different comedy shows, and I just really like him. I think he's a funny guy and he has a unique perspective on being a dad and a husband.

Busy Philipps

#41. I had always been heavily influenced by stand-up. I was in a comedy team called Red Johnny And The Round Guy.

John DiMaggio

#42. My father had the bug. Ever since I can remember walking, he was waking me up at 5 in the morning to go to flea markets. As a kid, I couldn't really stand it, but as I grew up, I became that guy, and when I have kids, I am going to be doing the same thing.

Dustin Yellin

#43. I happen to be a devout atheist. I don't believe in God. I still go to church
I'm not a heathen. I go to an atheist church. We have crippled guys who stand up and testify that they were crippled, and they still are.

Paula Poundstone

#44. A stand-up comedian will never be the life of a party. Instead, he will be the guy who is standing at a corner and observing people.

Vir Das

#45. Someone has to stand up and speak for the freedoms of the little guy.

Christopher Monckton

#46. Stand-ups are always good to see on YouTube. There's a guy named Mike Head who lives in Cleveland. He's great. He's an African-American stand-up.

Allison Jones

#47. When you snatch little pieces of other people's lives and try to palm them off as your own, that's more disgusting than anything. Robin Williams is a huge thief. Denis Leary is a huge thief. His whole stand-up career is based on Bill Hicks, a brilliant guy who died years ago.

Joe Rogan

#48. They looked at me like I was some kind of threat. [Mick] Jagger really tried to put me down, but there was no way some crude, lippy guy was going to do a number on me. I was always able to squelch him. I found out that, if you stand up to Mick, he crumbles.

Anita Pallenberg