Top 97 Social Humor Quotes
#1. We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.
Sandra Chami Kassis
#2. You do realise modern social mores exist for a reason?"
"I was hungry, allowances should be made.
Gail Carriger
#3. Charming villains have always had a decided social advantage over well-meaning people who chew with their mouths open.
Judith Martin
#4. There is no real bravery in getting paid to save someone's life. However, there is a large amount of bravery in a nurse break dancing at the hospital's Christmas party.
Shannon L. Alder
#5. She'd suggested that he observe other teens for social cues, and he'd done the job in spades. Yesterday after spending the afternoon with the track team, Aelyx had smacked her on the back and yelled, "Good hustle!" after she jogged up the front porch steps.
Melissa Landers
#6. I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I'm sympathetic, it usually means I haven't been around people in awhile.
John Raptor
#7. I'm suffering from "Hyper-analytical Social Media Posting Disorder", characterized by a compulsion to edit 5 minutes after posting a comment, augmented by a repeating pattern: (((Tremors))) - fix-it - relief!!!
Will this comment survive?
Andrew Neff
#8. I write for the beauty of the printed word
from PREFACE to BIPOLAR BUFFALO
Anthony Antek
#9. You could say that Facebook is doing a far more effective job than religion at teaching us to 'love thy neighbor,' connecting us with random strangers and 'friends' from distant lands.
Gemini Adams
#10. One good thing about being an immigrant in the US, no one cares about my sociopolitical opinion. I exist like a bland wallpaper to all races.
Fidelis O. Mkparu
#11. I have always understood that money made in the patent medicine business is a practical bar to social success.
George Presbury Rowell
#12. The more passionate and argumentative I get the more followers and friends I make online.
Tasha Turner
#13. Since I became a knitting humor writer, I seem to be understood a little better - at least for the purposes of social discourse.
Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
#14. The most profound indication of social malignancy ... no sense of humor. None of the monoliths could take a joke.
Edward Albee
#15. Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ...
E.A. Bucchianeri
#17. I should think a dead language would be rather boring, socially
speaking.
Sol Luckman
#18. I simply refuse to deal with idiots ... It has cut my social obligations in half.
Julia Quinn
#19. If someone is trying to share a laugh and you personally do not find it funny, then just move on and leave it alone. Do not steal someone else's humor.
John Patrick Hickey
#20. Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less!
E.A. Bucchianeri
#21. That is why I love Starbucks. It doesn't matter how much money you have or what social world you're from, chances are you will still eventually end up at a Starbucks in order to revel in the taste sensation provided by the Frappuccino. It is the great equalizer of our time.
Kyra Davis
#22. Having faith is believing in something you just know ain't true.
Mark Twain
#23. Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash
Hazel Blackthorn
#24. Facebook has been spreading across the continents faster than a highly contagious Asian bird flu!
Gemini Adams
#26. It never ceases to amaze me how adaptable social geometry can be. Within a couple of days I went from being the centre of the circle to an indefinite point outside its circumference.
K.J. Parker
#27. I believe that reappropriation can be a powerful tool for creating social change. Sometimes, things like irony, satire, or humor are more effective in getting at difficult truths or concepts like white privilege, orientalism, and the exoticization of culture.
Simon S. Tam
#28. We are naked, but we think we are not; we are wrong, but think we are correct. We are misled but we think we are properly guided. We think we have leaders but in reality we do not. What we have are tyrants.
Nilantha Ilangamuwa
#29. This is probably as bad a day as the court has had on social issues since "Roe v Wade."
Jerry Falwell
#30. I have an almost miraculous power of escaping from necessities of this kind. Destiny itself has often been worsted in the attempt to get me out to dinner.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
#31. Fools live life; intellectuals only think thoughts arising from borrowed knowledge.
That is why fools enjoy life while so called wise people are busy posting tweets about life.
Unfortunately, I am a wise man.
Saurabh Sharma
#32. I think humor is the social use. You can put anything in it. I think - yes, I speak heavily in analogies - it is like putting the medicine in apple sauce or a block of cheese for a dog. Not that anyone in this room is a dog in this scenario.
Sloane Crosley
#33. Sometimes I think I must have a Guardian Idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me ... only he's an imbecile.
Spider Robinson
#34. We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program.
George W. Bush
#35. When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
Mark Twain
#36. Besides confidence and a smile, we learned, the other characteristics of an alpha male were being well-groomed, possessing a sense of humor, connecting with people, and being seen as the social center of a room.
Neil Strauss
#37. If people can be convinced to pick up dog sh*t, who knows what social change is possible?
Franke James
#38. Many in America, as one social historian wrote, 'believed implicitly that New York's social leaders went to bed in full evening dress, brushed their teeth in vintage champagne, married their daughters without exception to shady French counts, and arrayed their poodle dogs in diamond tiaras.' ...
Greg King
#39. Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.
Gary Larson
#40. Revolutionary behavior and violence are usually only indulged in when people are at their wits' end. So social stability depends a lot on how long their wits are.
George Hammond
#41. There were certain things that had to be done, and if done at all, done handsomely and thoroughly; and one of these, in the old New York code, was the tribal rally around a kinswoman about to be eliminated from the tribe.
Edith Wharton
#42. This was truly advanced WASP: how to comfort a wronged wife and mother without acknowledging any misdeeds done or embarrassment caused by loved ones.
Maggie Shipstead
#43. Kids are baby goats. They're cute and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids.
Rick Riordan
#44. Just because all the rats are gone doesn't mean I trust the rattlesnake that got rid of them.
John Steiner
#45. Ghetto humor is the social twin of fantasy; together they sustain the powerless, who accomplish miracles through illusion.
Sheila Ballantyne
#46. That's why I'm not on social media. People are way too open about their private lives. I don't need to see pictures of what somebody had for lunch or hear about how difficult their last bowel movement was or see on a map where they were when either one happened.
Janet Evanovich
#47. Most people assumed Aaron was gay just because he was on the cheerleading squad. I, on the other hand, assumed a guy who would endure severe social stigma in the name of getting his hands under a bunch of girls' skirts when he lifted them into the air was probably pervier than your average bear.
Stacey Jay
#48. Human history is full of depressing things like colonization, disease, racism, sexism ... inventions of things which they had no idea how to handle (the atomic bomb, the Internet, the semicolon) ... And through it all there has always been some truly awful food.
Matt Haig
#49. When she was drinking his liquor and smoking his cigars, Charity couldn't help warming to Sir Humphrey. She almost forgot what a crashing bore he really was.
Elizabeth Jane Howard
#50. We have gotten so use to humor being something nasty and offensive that we started to believe that was the only way to get a laugh.
John Patrick Hickey
#51. I'm married, honey. My social life consists of work, church, taxiing the kids around and trying to schedule sex with my husband at least once a month.
Marilyn Pappano
#52. Alan: Conning people out of their savings. Forgery. Blackmail. Selling real estate on Mars. We could have it all. You with me, Bambi?"
Sin: "Clive, I was with you from 'I'm a social worker.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#53. Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
Steve Allen
#55. Want to enjoy an restful day? Wake up, turn your phone on, meditate, look at the sky - then toss your phone into the bushes.
Waylon H. Lewis
#56. Well, certainly, even separate from what our culture is going through, kids have different personalities and different natural bents and skill sets that they seem to come pre-programmed with. One of my two sons is very athletic. The other one is into social skills and humor.
Alex Kendrick
#57. I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me.
Peter Cameron
#58. I sometimes think humor and satire are more effective techniques for expressing social statements than direct comment.
Kristin Hunter
#59. On time for us was thirty minutes before actually started, because the half hour before the first bell was the highlight of our social calendars: standing outside the side door that led into the band room and just talking.
John Green
#60. If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she'll still display it on her desk at work.
Brian P. Cleary
#61. I don't know what's worse, being ignored or stared at.
Renata Suerth
#62. I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
John Cleese
#63. I might have known," said Eeyore. "After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said 'Bother!'. The Social Round. Always something going on.
A.A. Milne
#64. Peg and I are in the trenches of social media, not in a "war room" back at headquarters. We acquired our knowledge though experimentation and diligence, not pontification, sophistry, and conference attendance.
Guy Kawasaki
#65. I started to think of friends I could lean on for some help, but, as always happened when I attempted this kind of social audit, I realised that far too many of them were abroad, dead, married to people who disapproved of me, or weren't really my friends, now that I came to think of it.
Hugh Laurie
#66. I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.
Matt Groening
#67. There is nothing to be gained by multiplying social distinctions indefinitely.
Evelyn Waugh
#68. His office was on the third floor of the Humanities & Social Sciences Building, just down the hall from the interview room. On the office door was a Peanuts cartoon of Lucy in the psychiatrist's booth with the little DOCTOR is IN sign. Professor Mitchell, a man on the cutting edge of humor.
Rick Riordan
#69. Humor, in one form or another, is characteristic of every nation; and reflecting the salient points of social and national life, it illuminates those crowded corners which history leaves obscure.
Agnes Repplier
#70. I like to go to Starbucks and watch the intellectuals. I observe them and their intellectualness. They in turn observe me drinking coffee and being a creeper.
Ryan Lilly
#71. This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.
Terry Pratchett
#72. Good luck with that, I said. Because seriously. The fuck? Strawberry social? Did I somehow move onto the set of the remake of Little House on the Prairie?
Susan Juby
#73. Social entrepreneurs aim to combine the best of both worlds and "do well by doing good." Usually they end up doing neither.
Peter Thiel
#74. Jarod Kintz gets so many retweets, he's like Katniss Everdeen with tourettes in a forest full of Mockingjays.
Ryan Lilly
#75. Could you do such things when you were a dancer?' Tara asks her, as Tsukiko pulls a leg up impossibly far over her head.
'I would have had a much busier social calendar if I could,' Mme. Padva replies with a shake of her head.
Erin Morgenstern
#77. When we graduate from childhood into adulthood, we're thrown into this confusing, Cthulhu-like miasma of life, filled with social and career problems, all with branching choices and no correct answers.
Felicia Day
#78. If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality.
Charlie Brooker
#79. Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all things intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in all things emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended.
Criss Jami
#80. Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.
Criss Jami
#81. I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.
Ilona Andrews
#82. #Twitter: proudly promoting ghastly grammar and silly misspelling since 2006.
E.A. Bucchianeri
#83. He said, "If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site." Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil.
Shannon L. Alder
#84. For everybody must now 'move in a circle', - to the prevalence of which rotatory motion, is perhaps to be attributed the giddiness and false steps of many.
Jane Austen
#85. In Chestnut Hill money didn't talk, but it drank, and played a lot of golf.
Alistair McHarg
#86. Goodreads sports some of the social awkwardness of middle school. If you are looking for a friend, I promise no matter your background or book preferences I will be your friend.
Red Phoenix
#87. The dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot one, and there'll be another one along in a minute.
Terry Pratchett
#88. Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
Douglas Adams
#89. Love is the purest form of each individual on the planet Earth
Nitin Yaduvanshi
#90. Please note, I am not suggesting that illicit drugs are required to break down social barriers.
Thomas C. Foster
#91. The Jury had each formed a different view
Long before the indictment was read
And they all spoke at once so that none of them knew
One word that the other had said
Lewis Carroll
#92. These days. Most of us have the attention span of a meth-addicted squirrel.
Kristen Lamb
#93. I'm looking at some comedic horror films because I have often been accused of being too dark. I'm not dark, not compared with 'Saw' or anything like that. So I'm looking at live-action horror films, but not slasher ones - ones that have humor and maybe some social satire.
Henry Selick
#94. No person of quality ever remembers social restrictions save when considering how most piquantly to break them.
James Branch Cabell
#95. As children we are taught, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me!" As adults we teach those same words to our own children while simultaneously we sue one another for defamation or verbal assault. Ah, the naked leading the blind.
Bryan Oftedahl
#96. Never attribute to malevolence what is merely due to incompetence
Arthur C. Clarke
#97. It seems we would rather have a past filled with great scientists than just great artists and writers who could dream up these wonderful and awe-inspiring creations. It's a strange irony: we're spending our time trying to find the truth in our past, but creating myths of ourselves in the present.
Aditya Iyengar
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