Sign Here Quotes

#1. You Are Dead. (Sign Here Please) by Andrew Stanek

Andrew Stanek

#2. I don't give a damn what you do with your money. Just sign here that you received it and you can get drunk in peace.

Stieg Larsson

#3. I'm having my house repainted and we have a piano in the corner and the painter says, Is that y'all's piano? I said, No, that's our coffee table; it just has buck teeth. Here's Your Sign.

Jeff Foxworthy

#4. The Capitol was an occasion where you arrive at a sign in the road that says you have arrived at a place you may not have expected to be, but you know how you got here: Next!

Peter Garrett

#5. I would love an extension, who wouldn't? If they offer me a $35 million-a-year extension, I'll sign it right now. I won't even read the contract. I'm just here to take care of business and I know can help give the city what it's looking for.

Shaquille O'Neal

#6. Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for our rabbit on the conveyor. The girl looked at me and said, Do you have a rabbit? I looked at here and said deadpan, Nope. Just like 'em 'cause they're crunchy. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#7. He chuckled. "Come here."
She hesitated.
"We don't have to do anything. Just ... sleep."
She let out her breath on a heavy sign. "You don't want to just sleep." Then she moved in next to him, and he wrapped his arms around her. "Do you?"
"Hell no." He leaned down for a kiss.

Terry Spear

#8. He could judge with reasonable accuracy the amount of use a book had had. The first item to show any sign of wear was the dust jacket at the top and bottom of the spine. Little tears or cracks in the paper appeared here if a book had been taken off a shelf as much as three or four times.

Leonard Holton

#9. I was sitting on a plane that is traveling towards Seattle. And the guy next to me turns and says to me Hey, you going to Seattle?. Nope, San Francisco ... I'll be parachuting off in about an hour. Here's your sign!

Bill Engvall

#10. You are my superstar. I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph, sign it right here on my heart. Girl, I'll be your groupie, baby.

Usher

#11. O Sacrament of Love! O sign of Unity! O bond of Charity! He who would have Life finds here indeed a Life to live in and a Life to live by.

Saint Augustine

#12. A sign read: YOUR STAY HERE IS TOUCH AND GO - TOUCH AND YOU GO.

Harlan Coben

#13. I'm not here to perform. I'm here to sign autographs. You have to wait till I come back with my own hand.

Ace Frehley

#14. Got it. Look for a room with a sign with a big arrow that says, 'Kidnapped Mancies Here,' " he said.

Jaye Wells

#15. Here's the pitch. Mantle swings. There's a tremendous drive going into deep left field! It's going, going! It's over the bleachers ... over the sign atop the bleachers ... into the yards of houses across the street! It's got to be one of the longest runs I've ever seen! How about that!

Mel Allen

#16. No one must leave here and so carry to the world, together with the sign impressed on his skin, the evil tidings of what man's presumption made of man in Auschwitz.

Primo Levi

#17. What does the sign say?" " 'If you lived here, you'd be home now.' " She clenched her hands with excitement. "See, every day people will drive past and read that sign and think, 'Yeah, if I lived here I'd be home now,' and I will be home. Motherfuckers.

Susanna Kaysen

#18. The hatchet must fall on the block; the oak must be cleft to the centre. The weight of the world is on my shoulders. Here is the pen and the paper; on the letters in the wire basket I sign my name, I, I, and again I.

Virginia Woolf

#19. He saw no sign of their Bible, either. If the Lord had failed to protect even the book of his own Word, this proved to Grainier that here had come a fire stronger than God.

Denis Johnson

#20. How do you know they are Hunters?" Lucien asked.
"They had guns and knives strapped to their bodies, and I saw the mark of infinity on one of their wrists." Branding themselves was foolish, if you asked him. Like putting a neon sign around their necks that read 'Shoot here'.

Gena Showalter

#21. I often wonder if there are certain areas of real life that are roped off, with a sign saying, "Art, don't come in here." But that's maybe a deeper question ...

George Saunders

#22. The Campus laundry has a sign, like most laundries do, POSITIVELY NO DYEING. I drove all over town with a green bedspread until I came to Angel's with his yellow sign, YOU CAN DIE HERE ANYTIME.

Lucia Berlin

#23. Reach up to the feet of God, looking for a sign ... it was right here all the time ...

David Lee Roth

#24. I shot me a nice deer, and I hung it on the den wall in my house. My neighbor comes over and he says, Did you shoot that thing? I said, Nope. He ran through the wall and got stuck. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#25. If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.

Garrison Keillor

#26. One day I locked my keys in my car and as I was standing there with a hanger halfway through the top of my window, a guy walks up and says, Lock yer keys in the car? Without missin' a beat I said, Nope, Just washed it and was hanging it up to dry. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#27. I sold my soul to the devil in L.A. He said 'sign your name here on the dotted line and your songs they all will play.'

Aaron Lewis

#28. Some said the original evil was the vacuum caused by the Fairy Queen Lurline leaving us alone here. When goodness removes itself, the space it occupies corrodes and becomes evil and maybe slpits apart and multiplies. So every evil thing is a sign of the absence of deity

Gregory Maguire

#29. And tell him to paint me a sign, with-"no suicides permitted here, and no smoking in the parlor;" might as well kill both birds at once.

Herman Melville

#30. I used to get drunk in venues after my shows and sign the walls "Ed was here." So if you see that, it was me.

Ed Sheeran

#31. A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, Hey, y'all catch all them fish? Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#32. Right now, I couldn't have cared less if someone had waltzed across the room in a large flower costume with a sign saying GET YOUR BLACK TULIPS HERE. Every nerve in my body was on man-alert, screaming, incoming!

Lauren Willig

#33. Back in the days of the great Depression, an old sign dangled by one staple from a piece of rusting barbed wire. The owner of the farm had written:
'Burned out by drought,
Drowned out by flud waters,
Et out by jack-rabbits,
Sold out by sheriff,
STILL HERE.

Gordon B. Hinckley

#34. I'm back ... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign 'The Mummy Returns'.

Margaret Thatcher

#35. Here at its extremities the terrified transients gathered, gazing out at the vast refulgent ocean for some sign of security. We

William Boyd

#36. I cannot live without brainwork. What else is there to live for? Stand at the window here. Was ever such a dreary, dismal, unprofitable world? See how the yellow fog swirls down the street and drifts across the duncoloured houses. What could be more hopelessly prosaic and material?

Arthur Conan Doyle

#37. I try not to look like a university man here ... My fellow-guests think of a university degree as a disgraceful preliminary to the blood-sucking life of the bourgeoisie. A sign, moreover, that a man has to earn his own living.

Eilis Dillon

#38. By means of the sign, man frees himself from the here and now for abstraction.

Umberto Eco

#39. The fact that we are here today to debate raising America's debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better. I, therefore, intend to oppose the effort to increase America's debt.

Barack Obama

#40. Do you think what happened here was an exam: if you come through, you get a diploma and safe conduct into the future, or a sign to paint on the door-lintel that will make the plague pass you by?

J.M. Coetzee

#41. I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood. My buddy says to me you think he's been hunting? Nope, They're probably giving them away with the purchase of every jeep. Here's your sign!

Bill Engvall

#42. You look like you're thinking some pretty deep thoughts there," he said. "Just pondering the little mysteries," I said. "Why are we here; where do we go when we die; am I really the only one who believes the Kardashians are a clear sign of the end times?

Jen Blood

#43. I have sold my soul. Just sign right here.

Zakk Wylde

#44. I do not know how it is elsewhere, but here, in this country, poetry is a healing, life-giving thing, and people have not lost the gift of being able to drink of its inner strength. People can be killed for poetry here-a sign of unparalleled respect-because they are still capable of living by it.

Osip Mandelstam

#45. Is this overwhelming attraction really mutual, or is my believing that just a sign of impending insanity? Is my lunacy on the horizon, or is already here?

Ellen Hopkins

#46. I honestly feel as though I've run an obstacle course to get here. In fact, I think, they should list shopping as a cardiovascular activity. My heart never beats as fast as it does when I see a "reduced by 50 percent" sign.

Sophie Kinsella

#47. Reader, if thou intendest to go any farther, I would entreat thee to stay here a little. If thou art, as many in this pretending age, a sign or title gazer, and comest into books as Cato into the theatre, to go out again, - thou hast had thy entertainment; farewell!

John Owen

#48. Walk away from anyone who is unduly focused on vacation and compensation. It's a sign of potential trouble. No matter how talented you are, if you don't really want to work at TOMS, you'll never work out here.

Blake Mycoskie

#49. The kind of music I'm dealing with is more a long-term music. Sometimes a little discourage runs along on your thought, but I am here to push it back. Discourage is a sign of weakness, and I don't like to be weak.

Burning Spear

#50. Prepare for death, if here at night you roam, and sign your will before you sup from home.

Samuel Johnson

#51. We'd put a big sign over our territory saying, Nothing here is worth dying over, but if you insist, we will fucking kill you.

Laurell K. Hamilton

#52. What philosophers say about actuality [Virkelighed] is often just as disappointing as it is when one reads on a sign in a secondhand shop: Pressing Done Here. If a person were to bring his clothes to be pressed, he would be duped, for the sign is merely for sale.

Soren Kierkegaard

#53. Engvall: Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey ... " (pantomimes hitting his son) "We don't hit". He looked at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad".

Bill Engvall

#54. I am out in public and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man taps on the glass and says You using the phone? Nope, I'm superman, i am just looking for my costume. Here's your sign!

Bill Engvall

#55. But it still feels like there's a popularity contest here I didn't sign up for.

Katy Evans

#56. God made all the creatures and them our love and out fear,
To give sign, we and they are his children, one family here.

Robert Browning

#57. We observe with confidence that the truly strong mind, view it as intellect or morality, or under any other aspect, is nowise the mind acquainted with its strength; that here the sign of health is unconsciousness.

Thomas Carlyle

#58. I'm proud to play for Real Madrid because I have fun; when you no longer have fun it's a sign that it's time to leave. For now though, I'm happy here at the greatest club in the world.

Cristiano Ronaldo

#59. The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.

Dennis Miller

#60. I live right under the Hollywood sign, so that every day when I drive home I'm reminded of why I'm here.

Alessandro Nivola

#61. Oh, I guess you don't see me standing right here, holding his hand while you flip on the hot and ready sign? Okay, you are bold."

Christina C. Jones

#62. What mark will I leave behind? How will anyone know I have been here? What sign will tell the future traveler I existed? 'I am here! Today ... I exist'. I believe the deepest impression is made in those moments when I can say 'I care, I love'.

Leonard Nimoy

#63. Tottenham tried to sign me but I held off and came to Arsenal because Arsene Wenger was here.

Emmanuel Petit

#64. Here was an absolutely compelling road sign. Stay on the road of objective truth - there is objective being and objective value. Stay on the road. There is Truth. There is a Point and Purpose and Essence to it all. Keep searching. You will find it.

John Piper

#65. When I was research head of General Motors and wanted a problem solved, I'd place a table outside the meeting room with a sign: "Leave slide rules here." If I didn't do that, I'd find someone reaching for his slide rule. Then he'd be on his feet saying, "Boss, you can't do it."

Charles Kettering

#66. Aw, here is the owner of your sac," Vaughn announced when I appeared. "Take good care of it, darlin. Judd lives a dangerous life and balls are occasionally necessary."
"He can sign them out for special occasions.

Bijou Hunter

#67. You know, there's this thing called pants. You should try it out."
He cast me a cheeky grin as he turned. "You'd be devastated. Just think, you get to see this every day from here on out."
My heart did a trippy dance. "Your naked ass? Gee. Sign me up for that.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#68. In front of the cave there was a sign saying it was for sale, and the orphans could not imagine who would want to buy such a phantasmagorical - the word 'phantasmagorical' here mean 'all the creepy, scary words you can think of putting together' - place.

Lemony Snicket

#69. I'm not into, Hey, what's your sign? or any of that. But I don't know how I got here, and I don't know how I write songs. I don't know why I breathe.

Paul McCartney

#70. Remember the waterfront shack with the sign FRESH FISH SOLD HERE. Of course it's fresh, we're on the ocean. Of course it's for sale, we're not giving it away. Of course it's here, otherwise the sign would be someplace else. The final sign: FISH.

Peggy Noonan

#71. No, I'd better sit on to the end,' I went on thinking; 'you would be pleased, my friends, if I went away. Nothing will induce me to go. I'll go on sitting here and drinking to the end, on purpose, as a sign that I don't think you of the slightest consequence.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#72. Life in clubs is no paltry sign of the times we live in. Here gentlemen gamble with others whom they would not dream of inviting to their homes.

Honore De Balzac

#73. CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP

H.G.Wells

#74. Where was the "exit" sign? Why did they make it so difficult to get out of shopping center parking lots? You'd done your shopping - they weren't going to get any more money out of you. What was their objective here?

Liane Moriarty

#75. Lindworms are a sign of a healthy ecosystem," I said, straightening. "Now let's get out of here before the healthy ecosystem eats us.

Seanan McGuire

#76. What the philosophers have to say about reality is often as disappointing as a sign you see in a shop window, which reads Pressing Done Here. If you brought your clothes in to be pressed, you would be fooled: for the sign is only for sale.

Soren Kierkegaard

#77. There were no ashtrays and no sign of my philosophic cowpoke. I sensed he had been heading this way and most likely, spotting the spanking new paint job, just kept on going. I looked around. Nothing to hold me here, either, not even the dried carcass of a dead bee.

Patti Smith

#78. It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says Hey, you moving? Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#79. I need a sign to let me know you're here. All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere. I need to know that things are
gonna look up ... I'm calling all you Angels ... I won't give up if you don't give up.

Train