Bill Engvall Here's Your Sign Quotes

#1. Good, honest, hardheaded character is a function of the home. If the proper seed is sown there and properly nourished for a few years, it will not be easy for that plant to be uprooted.

George Amos Dorsey

#2. I am out in public and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man taps on the glass and says You using the phone? Nope, I'm superman, i am just looking for my costume. Here's your sign!

Bill Engvall

#3. Engvall: Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey ... " (pantomimes hitting his son) "We don't hit". He looked at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad".

Bill Engvall

#4. Though familiarity may not breed contempt, it takes off the edge of admiration.

William Hazlitt

#5. I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood. My buddy says to me you think he's been hunting? Nope, They're probably giving them away with the purchase of every jeep. Here's your sign!

Bill Engvall

#6. It's enthusiasm, not apathy, that makes the world go 'round.

Tony Alessandra

#7. It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says Hey, you moving? Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#8. Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing ever happened that didn't need to happen.

Byron Katie

#9. I was sitting on a plane that is traveling towards Seattle. And the guy next to me turns and says to me Hey, you going to Seattle?. Nope, San Francisco ... I'll be parachuting off in about an hour. Here's your sign!

Bill Engvall

#10. Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for our rabbit on the conveyor. The girl looked at me and said, Do you have a rabbit? I looked at here and said deadpan, Nope. Just like 'em 'cause they're crunchy. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#11. You aren't really writing about what you did; you're writing about how you feel.

Adam Duritz

#12. A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, Hey, y'all catch all them fish? Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#13. One day I locked my keys in my car and as I was standing there with a hanger halfway through the top of my window, a guy walks up and says, Lock yer keys in the car? Without missin' a beat I said, Nope, Just washed it and was hanging it up to dry. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#14. I shot me a nice deer, and I hung it on the den wall in my house. My neighbor comes over and he says, Did you shoot that thing? I said, Nope. He ran through the wall and got stuck. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall