Top 100 Quotes About Your Uncle
#1. I'm just trying to help"
"Do your uncle's bonsai eat meat?"
"I don't think so"
"Have you ever been bitten by one of his bonsai?"
"No."
"In that case, your uncle's bonsai are not helping us
Yann Martel
#2. No offense, kid, but I have a strong desire to murder your uncle with extreme prejudice." "No offense taken," I said. "I'm tempted to help you.
Rick Riordan
#3. If you got something outside the common run that's got to be done and cant wait, dont waste your time on the menfolks; they works on what your uncle calls the rules and the cases. Get the womens and the children at it; they works on the circumstances.
William Faulkner
#4. Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle.
Alvah Bessie
#5. You take after your dad, a high-functioning sociopath with an incurable organic personality disorder. It's one of the special-sauce variety, the kind with a known genetic cause. Your uncle Albert was something different, and worse: He was a man of faith.
Charles Stross
#6. If you're referring to the incident with the Dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#7. It's a myth that if you're liked by only four people it must be good. It might also be very bad: they might be your mother, your brother, your uncle and your aunt.
David Hockney
#8. Qualifications don't count. All Ike did was invade Europe and look like your uncle.
James Ellroy
#10. The point is, you should have stayed right where you were and let us handle this. Now we're going to have to tie up your uncle and put him in one of the cells or something until we sort out everything and can prove your innocence.
Lynsay Sands
#11. These days, the phone only carries bad news. It's all "your student loan is past due" and "your uncle Chris is in the hospital." If it's anything fun or exciting, like an invitation to a party or a secret project in the works, it will come through the internet.
Robin Sloan
#12. He suddenly pulled up, staring down at her for several moments, his eyes fierce and serious. "It means you belong to me. No other. Not your brother your father your mother your uncle. Not even Master. Me. Only me. Always and forever.
Lucian Bane
#13. Well, I can't (sing or dance). Actually, I sing like a seal and dance like your Uncle Leo at that wedding where he got up and went 'ya, ya, ya'.
Richard Dreyfuss
#14. Well, what did he want?"
"Merely to tell you that your uncle, Mr. Eyre of Madeira, is dead; that he has left you all his property, and that you are now rich
merely that
nothing more.
Charlotte Bronte
#15. Look, I learned from your uncle that when the universe turns out to be insane, the wise man embraces insanity.
Bradley Denton
#16. Let me get it straight. Your father was king. You were his only son. Your father dies. You are of age. Your uncle becomes king."
"Yes."
"Unorthodox.
Tom Stoppard
#17. Senate Doc. # 259. The 65th congress( ... The coal companies made between 100% and 7,856% on their capital stock during the war (to end all wars, WWI) ... The leather people sold your Uncle Sam hundreds of thousands of saddles for the calvary. But there wasn't any calvary overseas!
Smedley Butler
#18. A night spent spooning with your girlfriend isn't nearly so exciting when your uncle is curled up against your other side.
Mike Mullin
#19. so your uncle tells
your brother,
"There's more
chairs in the
shed."
And your brother says,
under his breath
so almost no one
can hear, "Well,
what if I don't
want to sit
in the shed?
Hosho McCreesh
#20. You can tell your uncle stuff that you could not tell your dad. That is kind of the role of an uncle. I feel very much like a father sometimes but sometimes I feel like a teammate.
Dusty Baker
#21. You broke a man today. Doesn't that affect you at all? These are lives, not pieces in a chess game with your uncle.'
'You're wrong. We are on my uncle's board and these men are all his pieces.'
'Then each time you move one of them, you can congratulate yourself on how much like him you are.
C.S. Pacat
#22. The war (WWI) cost your Uncle Sam $52 billion. $39 billion was expended in the actual war period. This expenditure yielded $16 billion in profits.
Smedley Butler
#23. Work, my boy! forget me for a few years; I'd only give you bad advice; don't mention our meeting to your uncle- it might do you harm; don't think about an old man who would be dead long since, were it not for his dear habit of coming here every day and finding his old friends on these shelves.
Jules Verne
#25. Not to mention the fact that your uncle seems determined to drink away the coffers of House Jacos." Another swig of gin. Coriane almost laughed at the irony. "How selfish.
Victoria Aveyard
#26. I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it's your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
Bill Maher
#27. Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?"
"He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you're interested
Darynda Jones
#28. I've always felt comfortable amongst the horrors. I married your uncle Gerard, after all.
Melika Dannese Lux
#29. You can't make a head and brains out of a brass knob with nothing in it. You couldn't do it when your uncle George was living much less when he's dead.
Charles Dickens
#30. A city is like a family portrait - you don't tear it up if you don't like your uncle's nose.
Jaime Lerner
#32. The mentality of who is your uncle - an ethnocentric way of thinking, is one of the leading causes of South Sudan's internal conflicts.
Duop Chak Wuol
#34. Stop whimpering and snapping at me, I'm sick of it. Keep your mouth shut and do as I tell you, and maybe we'll even be in time for your uncle's bloody wedding.
George R R Martin
#35. Your uncle," Poseidon sighed, "has always had a flair for dramatic exits. I think he would've done well as the god of theater.
Rick Riordan
#36. Ye mind me o' your uncle Dougal, a sionnach," she said, tilting her head to one side coquettishly. "He was older when I met him than you are now, but you've the look of him about ye, aye? Like ye'd take what ye pleased and damn anyone who stands in your way." Jamie
Diana Gabaldon
#37. Perhaps that's a smile on Delia's face-but Delia's half skull turns every expression into a leer. She says, Your uncle had a talent, kid. He made families wherever he went.
Daryl Gregory
#38. With a blade at your throat, a well-connected uncle or a wealthy mother could not save you. Only you could save yourself.
Natalia Marx
#39. I really think that it's better to retire, in Uncle Earl's terms, when you still have some snap left in your garters.
Russell B. Long
#40. She did her best but like Uncle E says, sometimes your best just ain't good enough.
Patricia Wood
#41. Do something!" Norwood told him.
"Do what?" Uncle Mort's face was furious. "Fly up there and get it? You bring your broomstick, Hel?
Gina Damico
#42. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry
"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe
"
"That'll just depress them."
"
and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?
J.K. Rowling
#43. I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane.
Ray Bradbury
#44. I was a teenage boy once too, you know," Uncle Mort said, popping back up. "I know what your brain looks like. It's a three-ring circus in there.
Gina Damico
#45. You're saying,' he said, weighing each word, 'that we should send Carrot away to be a duck among humans because Bjorn Stronginthearm is my uncle.
Terry Pratchett
#47. My martial arts came a lot from my uncle, who actually taught martial arts through the military. He was a black belt in tae kwon do, but also, he used a lot of military-style fighting where it's not the high kicks or anything like that. It's basically defeat your opponent as fast as possible.
Brian Tee
#48. Gabriel could anticipate Uncle Dave and Uncle Junior's traditional wedding reception speech, entitled "If you hurt our girl, we will whip your ass." Only this time, they would be adding, "Vampire or not.
Molly Harper
#49. There is nothing on earth so easy as to forget, if a person chooses to set about it. I'm sure I have as much forgot your poor, dear uncle, as if he had never existed; and I thought it my duty to do so.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
#50. A holiday vacation can mean sampling all kinds of new cuisine - whether it's Uncle Joe's award-winning chili or the exotic flavors of Nepal. If your little ones are fussy, be sure to ease mealtime hassles by bringing along a supply of the familiar foods they're accustomed to rejecting at home.
Adam Mansbach
#51. Lex was about to ask what in the dickens that was supposed to mean, but then Uncle Mort nodded at Wicket in a secretive manner, which roughly translated as 'Screw you and your curiosities, Lex. We're telling you NOTHING.
Gina Damico
#52. This is none of your concern,' his uncle spat.
'I beg to differ,' Sebastian said quietly. 'A lady in distress is always my concern.
Julia Quinn
#53. I'm getting chest pains ... You give me chest pains Uncle Willie.
It's my fault you get excited.
Yes, it's your fault! I only get chest pains on Wednesdays.
So come on Tuesdays.
Neil Simon
#54. They asked him for help rebuilding the farm, but e only shook his head with a pang of longing in his heart.
I'm tracking your killers,he whispered to his uncle.-Eragon
Christopher Paolini
#55. I like that attitude. Got to make your own opportunities if there aren't any coming your way." - Uncle Paul; ppg 161
Annabel Pitcher
#56. Not your fight, Jack. (Steele)
That never stopped me before. Uncle Cam never cared if I had an issue with someone or not before they had me take their head off. (Jack)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#57. You are James Herondale, said Uncle Jem. As you always were. Part your mother, part your father, part yourself. I would not change any part of you if I could.
Cassandra Clare
#58. I'm the master of distractions. A couple of hand gestures and BAM! I'll pull the underwear clean off your butt.
Si Robertson
#59. You could say that evil is contagious in that we have this mesmerizing mentor in Uncle Charlie who comes into your life. Every person has a seed of evil inside them, and when you come across such a mesmerizing mentor, he is able to successfully turn it into a flower of evil.
Park Chan-wook
#60. Your body is nothing but a money machine." That's what Uncle Rudy says. "That's the way it is. We're all just prostitutes.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
#61. AK 47, is perfect copy, yes? Every detail. Like real thing. Yes. Kalashnikov. Your boy, he be happy for Uncle Sante, no?"
"I'm sorry, Sante. It's really nice of you, but I don't want Sofus playing with guns."
Conversation between George Hanson and Sante
In The Shadow of Sadd
Steen Langstrup
#62. I was headed in the wrong direction. I didn't think I'd make it to 21. My Uncle Chuck saved my life. He was a graphic designer, and he gave me my first sketchbook. In the front, he wrote, 'Wear it like your underwear.'
Richard MacDonald
#63. You have phantom income each year. No money is being put in your pocket, but you have to take some money out of your pocket to pay Uncle Sam because the tax is paid based on accretion.
Scott Walker
#64. You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
Demetri Martin
#65. I'm a freak,you're a freak. Your house makes rooms disappear. My house makes people disappear. Your shut-in uncle is nuts, my shut-in dad is a lunatic, so i don't know what you think makes us different. -Ethan Wate
Kami Garcia
#66. Uncle Bob - "
"I could order you to."
"Well, you'd best be ordering your coffin at the same time."
"I mean it, Charley."
"I suggest a nice mahogany.
Darynda Jones
#67. Ren grinned. "So ... you and lady tigers, eh? Is there something you want share, Kishan?"
Kishan shoved a forkful of dinner into his mouth and mumbled, "How about I share my fist with your face?"
"Wow. Sensitive, I'm sure your lady tiger friends were all very attractive. So am I an uncle?
Colleen Houck
#68. I want to share something you that Uncle Walter once told me: You don't choose who to love. Love finds you. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you cannot, and most certainly should not, force your feelings...
Victoria Roberts
#69. They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.
"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.
"Make Harry get it."
"Get the mail, Harry."
"Make Dudley get it."
"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.
J.K. Rowling
#70. I feel sorry for tribes that used to be cannibals but then stopped when the Christians came and inevitably ruined everything, because it would suck to be nostalgic for the comfort food of your childhood but then never have it again because now it's suddenly not cool to eat your dead uncle.
Jenny Lawson
#71. You let their friendship continue because Maisie looks after your son while you're gallivanting around the country disguised as Sherlock Holmes - Uncle Paton Yewbeam
Jenny Nimmo
#72. Si, the speed limit sign said 35. Your Goin' 55." -Sadie Robertson
"Oh, that's just a suggestion.
Si Robertson
#73. The guy from the bar appeared silently at Uncle Billy's side, his expression cool and steady. He nodded at me once, and turned to my uncle. Seeing him face-to-face,I knew, absolutely, he wasn't just a regular customer. He was a complicationa. A big one. Mo, meet Colin Donnelly. Your bodyguard.
Erica O'Rourke
#74. It's no part of your job to think for the Lord," his great-uncle said. "Judgment may rack your bones.
Flannery O'Connor
#75. No one can teach your child like you can. No nanny, Bible school teacher, aunt, or uncle has your authority. What a phenomenal privilege is yours.
Max Lucado
#76. Wait, you are not even surprised that your own uncle, framed you, for an assassination?"
"No, I'm surprisingly not surprised.".
Rea Lidde
#77. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one
the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts, ... Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape.
C.S. Lewis
#78. I grew up in this era where your parents' friends were all called aunt and uncle. And then I had an aunt and an aunt. We saw them on holidays and other times. We never talked about it, but I just understood that they were a couple.
Patti Davis
#79. I had to promise to look him up if I was ever in the City of Angels." She winked to Uncle Bob. "He liked my voice." "Mom," Amber said, utterly appalled. "You used your feminine wiles on a man you don't even know." Cookie smiled. "That's what they're for, honey. Eat your salad.
Darynda Jones
#80. Trust me, dear, with the amount that you read, I guarantee that your eyes will never go bad.
Lindsey Renee Backen
#81. Our kids need us to be the dad, not a fun single uncle. When you can replace your 007 poster with a framed portrait of Grandma, your kids will experience an underlying sense of being at home when they are with you - whether for a weekend, a summer, or full-time.
Tez Brooks
#82. As my uncle always says, 'If your vibe outweighs your substance, you're destined to be a novelty.' I think that is true in all art.
Mat Kearney
#83. Think of your freedom, every time you see UNCLE TOM'S CABIN; and let it be a memorial to put you all in mind to follow in his steps, and be honest and faithful and Christian as he was." CHAPTER
Harriet Beecher Stowe
#84. I hate false advertising, like 'Skittles: taste the rainbow.' No one's ever been like, 'Rainbow, right you guys?' Or what's Reese's? 'There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.' Oh, really? Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear. Alright, maybe your uncles didn't love you.
Amy Schumer
#85. North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your drunk, right-wing uncle mumbles at Thanksgiving, turn it into a law, and that's North Carolina today.
Bill Maher
#87. You think that nothing matters as long as you're together, that nothing can harm you two or come between you because you're somehow protected by your feelings for one another.
-Uncle Antonio
Jessica Khoury
#88. How do you lose your brother ? You lose your grandfather, your distant uncle, your dog for Christ's sake. Not your brother. Especially brothers like mine.
Jolene Perry
#89. Emme pulled on Cole's hand. "Why are they crying?"
Her uncle bent down. "Well, sometimes when all your dreams come true? The best you can do is cry. It's happy, not sad.
Debra Anastasia
#90. The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last.
Adam DeVine
#91. Vergere taught me to embrace my pain by surrendering to it. I made that pain a part of me--something I would never fight or deny. You have to do the same thing with your fear, Uncle Luke. Then it will have no power over you." - Jacen
Troy Denning
#92. Daddy," Ava says seriously, "it's been two years since Mama died. Uncle Cam says if you don't use it - it will fall off and die. I'm pretty sure he was talking about your heart. Everyone needs someone to love.
Jillian Dodd
#93. I tell young people that people aren't just going to flock to you as your mentors. You have to seek them out. It could be your next-door neighbor; it could be somebody upstairs from you, somebody down the block from you. An aunt or an uncle. Some relative. A parent.
Judith Jamison
#94. Kosmina adored her new "foulmouthed but well-intentioned uncle." Because, as she put it, "Perhaps we aren't meant to understand him. Perhaps he's as much a puzzle as he is a puzzle master." Hear, hear, Kosmina. But I'm still sending your ass to Louisiana.
Kresley Cole
#95. I've read Reverend Kirk, in fact. My uncle's library has quite a few books of your people. I have read Mr. Lang's fairy tales as well. (Katherine Rae O'Flaherty)
"Books are not the same as reality," Devlin stared at her. "My world is not always kind to mortals.
Melissa Marr
#96. He is just your type," Uncle Meng said gently. "Please, do try not to fuck him."
"How come it's okay for James Bond?
Neal Stephenson
#97. Felicity, if I die from the effects of eating sawdust pudding, flavoured with needles, you'll be sorry you ever said such a thing to your poor old uncle, said Uncle Roger reproachfully.
L.M. Montgomery
#98. You can pay Uncle Sam with all your overtime, is that all you get for your money?
Billy Joel
#99. We shall trespass upon your aunt and uncle's hospitality only a little longer.'
You will, will you?'
Yes,' said Dumbledore simply, 'I shall.
J.K. Rowling
#100. Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!
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