Top 100 Quotes About Your Boyfriend
#1. Your boyfriend's penis is not an awkward string of spaghetti that has to be scooped up and sucked down. The Emperor of China once asked Lao-tzu: How should I rule the kingdom? To which Lao-tzu replied: Rule the kingdom as you would cook a small fish. A really good blowjob is the same.
Chloe Thurlow
#2. Girlfriends are not wives. I draw the line at married women. Actually, women married to men with guns. If someone's girlfriend wants to make herself available, that's her business. Just don't give my name to your boyfriend.
Jack Dancer
#3. You've got one life, live it. Follow your dreams, quit your job, drop out of school, tell your boyfriend that he's lousy and walk out the door. This is your time. This is your life. You know what? Dream as big as you want to, its the cheapest thing you'll ever do.
Jared Leto
#4. I had a really great time tonight. I got to eat great food, meet new people and even play on a stage with you. But you wanna know the best part of the whole night? It was when I got to pretend I was your boyfriend.
Marie Coulson
#5. If you're fighting with your boyfriend, you can go to the movies and cry it out and leave happy because the ending of the film is happy.
Lindsay Lohan
#6. I almost saw your boyfriend naked this morning."
I laughed at the look on her face. "I don't know what to say to that, you're welcome?
Jay Crownover
#7. Look at me. Home boy wore combat boots to the beach. I know you don't want to call that your boyfriend, I know you don't.
Lauren Conrad
#8. Fred: "Is that brick wall your boyfriend?"
Doug: "Only in my dreams."
Fred: "Oh, you too? I'm Fred."
Doug: "Doug. I should mention, in all fairness though that Christy's boyfriend is my best friend. He's the brick wall you should be worried about.
Robin Jones Gunn
#9. You convinced me that you're a good kisser, that doesn't mean you like me."
"I'm here pretending to be your boyfriend with the possibility of getting zero benefits from you. Trust me kitten, I like you. I like you a whole lottle, remember?
L.A. Casey
#10. He laughed again. "Not boring and not dumb. That's so much better than your boyfriend who both bored me and was dumb. To be honest I don't
know what you saw in him."
"Ex. Ex-boyfriend " she said. "I swear to God I'm never going to live that down.
Thea Harrison
#11. There's got to be some scientific study somewhere that proves your boyfriend's sweater will keep you warmer and cure you of any illnesses a lot faster, than some Pottery Barn blanket.
Adam Silvera
#12. There are three things you never want to find in your boyfriend's locker: a sweaty jockstrap, a D minus on last week's history test, and an empty condom wrapper.
Lucky me, I'd hit the trifecta.
Gemma Halliday
#13. It sounds like if it weren't for your boyfriend, you'd be eating meat."
"Probably," I admitted. "But I agree with Dane's take on the issues, and most of the time it's not a problem for me. Unfortunately, I'm temptable."
"I like that in a woman. It almost makes up for your conscience.
Lisa Kleypas
#14. You're amazing, and I so want to be your boyfriend, because of what you just said, and also because that shirt makes me want to take you home and do unspeakable things while we watch live-action Sailor Moon videos
John Green
#15. The only thing that ever really bothers me is that a lot of people think I'm that girl who hates your boyfriend. I'm really not that girl. Some of my friends' boyfriends are my best friends.
Lauren Conrad
#16. Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one? - Timmy
He's English! And Mom ... Mom hates foreigners!
- Cat
Jeaniene Frost
#17. If you take a shower with your boyfriend, I guarantee by the time you step out of that shower, your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sarah Silverman
#18. Don't tell your parents you're gay and I'm not your girlfriend. Tell them you're gay because someone is your boyfriend."
"Can I tell them it's that hot guy on Teen Wolf?
Avon Gale
#20. You're not going to ask about your boyfriend?" she asked.
"Don't have one," I told her.
"Well, there's a kid who has hardly left the waiting room since you got here," she said.
John Green
#21. Don't blame your parents, don't blame your boyfriend, don't blame the weather. Accept the reality, embrace the challenge, and deal with it. Be in charge of your own life. Turn negatives into positives and be proud to be a woman.
Diane Von Furstenberg
#22. I don't want you to write about what you know, because you don't know anything. I don't want to hear about your boyfriend or your grandma ... I'm getting a little tired of 'my life story as fiction'. Please don't tell me about your little life - is there nothing larger? More important?
Toni Morrison
#23. You are playing cards with three Jeffs. One is your father, one is your
brother, and the other is your current boyfriend. All of them have seen
you naked and heard you talking in your sleep. Your boyfriend Jeff gets
up to answer the phone. To them he is a mirror, but to you he is a room.
Richard Siken
#24. Is this your boyfriend?" the first nun asked.
Clair Olivia looked me up and down. "No. This is my gay friend who decided he was straight and single-handedly wrecked havoc at an all-boys school in Massachusetts this fall. He's gay again and home for Christmas, so yay!
Bill Konigsberg
#25. The woman who steals your boyfriend has the ugliest shoes on earth. Truly hideous. You wouldn't be caught dead in them.
Mimi Pond
#26. She hesitaded. "The guy with you ... the tall Moroi with dark hair ... is that your boyfriend?"
"Er,yeah."
It took a long time and great effort for her to concede the next statement."He's cute.
Richelle Mead
#27. The fight's here, ice-boy. Don't worry about your boyfriend, worry about yourself.
Julie Kagawa
#28. Hey, which one of them is supposed to be your boyfriend?" Stark
asked me. Even in the terrible shape he was in, he caught my glance
with his. His voice was scratchy, and he sounded scarily weak, but
his eyes sparkled with humor.
I am!" Heath and Erik said together.
Kristin Cast
#29. How devastated I am to say that I will not be present at your petite soiree on June 10th. Unfortunately, the exceptionally weak drinks you ordinarily serve at these occasions are not sufficient to dull my senses to your boyfriend's futile efforts to grope me in the hallway.
A.C. Kemp
#30. Maybe it's impossible to find everything you want in one person. Maybe everyone in your life gives you certain things you need. And your friends give you the rest of what you can't get from your boyfriend.
Susane Colasanti
#31. You told me, girlfriend. Will your boyfriend be jealous we're tossing bitchy banter back and forth?
Lorelei James
#32. A development deal is an in-between record deal. It's like, a guy saying that he wants to date you but not be your boyfriend. You know, they don't wanna sign you to an actual record deal or put an album out on you. They wanna watch your progress for a year.
Taylor Swift
#33. So, you're Bianca? The freshman bitch that's been screwing my boyfriend?"
"Your boyfriend? I haven't been-"
"Stay the hell away from Jake.
Kody Keplinger
#34. If you have breakouts, it can be really healing, it's a little bit stinky, but if you're not sleeping over at your boyfriend's, it's really effective
Scarlett Johansson
#35. There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
Greg Behrendt
#36. You didn't want to call your boyfriend Buddy, but when reverting to his real name meant Bruce, it left you with no real ground to stand on.
Stephen King
#37. Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?'
Graham Norton
#38. I thought you were supposed to be at home, waiting for your boyfriend to come back a hero."
"As you may have gathered," I say, walking up a step, "that was never going to happen.
Veronica Roth
#39. When Your Boyfriend Fits into Your Jeans and Other Atrocities The
Mindy Kaling
#40. Let Jesus be your boyfriend for now and save yourself from all that trouble.
Ru Dela Torre
#41. A true heiress is never mean to anyone - except a girl who steals your boyfriend
Paris Hilton
#42. But-but ... " Timmie's eyes couldn't get any wider.
"Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one?"
That was a good question. I cast around for an answer. Any answer.
"He's English!" I settled on desperately. "And Mom ... Mom hates foreigners!
Jeaniene Frost
#43. If your friends don't want your boyfriend, what's the point?
Andrew Holleran
#44. You can't really yell at your boyfriend for stealing your seat and your best friend. You also can't yell at your best friend for stealing your boyfriend. Or you can ... but Hi seemed like a much easier way to start the morning.
Ally Carter
#45. One of Renee's friends asked her, "Does your boyfriend wear glasses?" She said, "No, he wears a Walkman.
Rob Sheffield
#46. You have to treat Hollywood like it's your boyfriend - he's there all the time.
Yunjin Kim
#47. It's easy for me to work with other girls because I'm a tomboy and I don't want the guy, your boyfriend - I'm not interested in looking better than you, so don't worry. Fail or win, whatever it is, I need to go do stuff.
Michelle Rodriguez
#48. We all show facets, to your mother, or to your boyfriend, or a friend. You're always a bit different.
Eva Green
#49. Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over; let them go.
Mallory Ortberg
#50. Have your boyfriend add therapy bills to my expense tab.
Jeaniene Frost
#51. It's nice when your boyfriend thinks you're beautiful.
Pamela Anderson
#52. His text took only a moment. You tell the guy you're dating that your boyfriend's back. I let my arms drift back down to the bed as I closed my eyes, sighing. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. My phone beeped again. And he's gonna be in trouble . . .
Penelope Douglas
#53. So what was it like?" she asked. "Having your boyfriend die? Um, it sucks." "No," she said. "Being in love.
John Green
#54. I like your boyfriend," Dahra said. "Not many guys volunteer to carry ten gallons of diarrhea and vomit."
Lana laughed. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Yeah, well, he can be mine if he wants to be. He's cute. And he carries crap.
Michael Grant
#55. Your boyfriend's crazy," he said to Clary.
"Yeah, but he's hot," said Clary. "So there's that.
Cassandra Clare
#56. It is. I'm your boyfriend now, which
means there's no room for your hipster admirer. He'll just have to lick his wounds while we lick other things.
Kylie Scott
#57. If you're not broadcasting what people feel is their truth as it relates to you, well that becomes a problem. If your not broadcasting how much you love your boyfriend or husband via social media, problems occur in the home and I really think this is happening more than we acknowledge.
Aeriel Miranda
#58. A great mantra to have, whether you're breaking up with your boyfriend or you lose your job, or something changes that you didn't anticipate - which is a fact of life, and very much a fact of running a business - is: 'I was OK before this, I will be OK after this.'
Sophia Amoruso
#59. Do not just look at your boyfriend as just a boyfriend. Look at him as a friend, too.
Vanessa Hudgens
#60. For the record, telling your boyfriend that your not-as-dead-as-you-might-have-implied mother has been arrested for murder doesn't go over well
Tracy Weber
#61. Your boyfriend had a dream about potatoes and you're asking me to interpret it? I'm just old. Being old doesn't mean you know more; it means you ate enough fiber.
Jonathan Carroll
#62. There's nothing like competing for your boyfriend's attention with an emotionally needy sibling to make you feel like the worst sort of evil psycho-bitch.
Lauren Willig
#63. If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, keep you in my arms girl, you'd never be alone, and I could be a gentlemen anything you want, if I was your boyfriend.
Justin Bieber
#64. Your boyfriend has some real trust issues," Morpheus baits. "Shut up. He had a rough childhood." "He should be grateful he had one at all.
A.G. Howard
#65. Well then, as your boyfriend, I order you to tell Zane that you are and always have been my girlfriend. -Fenn
Candace Knoebel
#66. I respect my parents' opinion very much. No matter how old you are, what your parents think is very important. If they like your boyfriend or if they like some work you've done. And if they don't, it's more shattering than anybody else telling you, because they're the most honest.
Olivia Newton-John
#67. I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.
Jimmy Fallon
#68. Your soulmate doesn't just mean your husband or your boyfriend. I have friends in my life who I believe I was meant to meet and be a part of.
Louise Nurding
#69. I've been thinking."
That snapped Piper back to the present. Coming from your boyfriend, I've been thinking was kind of a scary line.
Rick Riordan
#70. Good thing he's not your boyfriend, though, Tina. He's so skinny, I think a condom would pop right off.
Courtney Milan
#71. You could be going to have supper with someone who happens to be male, and all of a sudden he is your boyfriend of nine months ... and I am cheating on my existing boyfriend.
Caprice Bourret
#72. If you want to turn on your boyfriend, get naked and strap on an accordion.
Sheryl Crow
#73. But if your boyfriend, out of nowhere and with no advance warning whatsoever, dumps you for no apparent reason, is it really about you? Or is it all him?
Susane Colasanti
#74. A good friends should be able to tell you anything. Maybe your boyfriend's screwing around, or a dress that makes your love handles hang over like a shar-pei's skin? In either case, if they're not brave enough to tell it like it is? They're not your best friend.
Emma Chase
#75. We had each other. I never needed anyone else. That's the difference between you and me. You need all these people around you. Your friends, your boyfriend, everyone. Every single person has to like you. I only ever needed one person. Only ever needed you.
Sara Zarr
#76. Sorry I'm not your boyfriend. And I mean that in all sorts of ways.
Amy Plum
#77. reminded me on Friday night that we aren't friends, Cressida, and I would like you to remember that now,' she snapped. 'So why don't you go and make someone else feel crap about their life and then when you're done with that, go and look for your boyfriend's chin,
Kate Forster
#78. Who proved that you don't have to do what your parents want, or what your boyfriend wants, for you to be happy. You just have to be yourself, for there is no love greater than self love
Jack Gantos
#79. Does not-your boyfriend realize I'm Mormon?"
I nod. "It turns out, Holder doesn't have an issue with Mormons at all. He just has an issue with assholes.
Colleen Hoover
#80. The girl had many virtues: money, a car
a gold-coloured Capri, in which she played the latest funk
a big house and a rich father. When Valentin asked, 'What does your boyfriend do?' she replied, 'But I don't have one, really.
Hanif Kureishi
#81. White lies are in chapter two of the bestfriend handbook. They are to be used sparingly and only under extreme circumstances. I'm pretty sure finding out your boyfriend of more than a year is a total jerk qualifies.
Heather Hepler
#82. Your boyfriend smells bad, says Sarah as she sniffs the armpit of the giant sweatshirt.
All boys smell bad I say and she nods her head like we have just figured out something very important.
Amy Reed
#83. I will protect you," she promised the Bosendorfer inside. "I won't let you down."
Sophie gave her a quizzical look.
"Bastards better not hurt my piano," Miranda replied.
"That's what you're worried about right now? What about your boyfriend?
Dianne Sylvan
#84. Did you think your boyfriend was going to stick around and watch you do THAT? If we weren't related, I would've left too. Actually ... is it already too late for me to leave?
Elle Lothlorien
#85. Okay," Juke said. "Your horse is a donkey, your poodle is a giant wolf breed, and your boyfriend is whatever the hell he is. You have problems.
Ilona Andrews
#86. Your boyfriend is ... well, way buff. Monster buff. Lord, king buff. (Sunshine)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#87. That's your orgasm talking," I say. "You're not really in love with me."
"You can't tell me how I feel," he says. His voice gets quiet, trails off at the end. "I could be your boyfriend.
Laurie Elizabeth Flynn
#88. The boy in the closet is your boyfriend. He loves you and will tell you all about last night.
Cat Patrick
#89. I'm really critical of my posture, it makes a big difference. And I try to suck my belly in. Everyone should do that whether you're on a red carpet or not. Even if you're just going out to dinner with your boyfriend you should try and suck it in.
Katy Perry
#90. I'm not your boyfriend, Isabelle," he called out.
She went white, Simon was horrified by how badly his words had come out.
"I mean, I can't be your boyfriend, Isabelle," he said. "I'm not him
that guy who was your boyfriend. That guy you want.
Cassandra Clare
#91. If you ever pull a switcheroo like that again, Dee, I'm going to offer your boyfriend ten thousand dollars to make out with Alice for two minutes.
Elle Lothlorien
#92. How is it going with your boyfriend?;););) - text from Grandma Frida
Ilona Andrews
#94. I really wish your boyfriend would stay out of my love life."
"Funny. I bet Felicity wishes her boyfriend would stay out of it, too.
Diana Peterfreund
#95. Your boyfriend's real fuckin' nice. What a cutie. I heart the fuck out of him. What a catch.
C.M. Stunich
#96. I promise not to make fun of your boyfriend anymore."
"He's not my boyfriend!
Marissa Meyer
#97. Your boyfriend shouldn't be your only friend.
Bethany Jett
#98. Brandon is your boyfriend, right. You keep saying 'Brandon is my boyfriend,'" he moved his fingers in quote marks, "and it makes as much sense as 'I am balancing the planet Pluto on my big toe' or 'Kumquats make the best nuclear physicists.
Jennifer Echols
#99. Well, you should have a chat with your boyfriend, clarify your desires. Hate to break the news, but, uh, he's cheatin' on you. Tell him I said my dog kisses better than him and he hits like a girl.
Courtney Vail
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