Quotes About Thanksgiving Turkey

#1. I want that Easter Ham. Where's my Thanksgiving Turkey? Miss Trixie snarled

John Kennedy Toole

#2. I really like Thanksgiving turkey ... it does not take only time in Houston that you look at natural breasts.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#3. Thanksgiving turkey in the world.

James Patterson

#4. What a marvelous resource soup is for the thrifty cook - it solves the ham-bone and lamb-bone problems, the everlasting Thanksgiving turkey, the extra vegetables.

Julia Child

#5. I love Thanksgiving turkey ... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#6. My mother is a great hunter - she usually shoots our Thanksgiving turkey.

Kirsten Gillibrand

#7. There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They prefer to buy the bird live and then push it in front of a subway train.

David Letterman

#8. We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

Bo Burnham

#9. Rules are rules was stuffed into him from the crib like he was a Thanksgiving turkey.

James Marshall Smith

#10. boundbydad: thrust your fierce quavering manpole at me, stud

grayscale: your dastardly appendage engorges me with hellfire

boundbydad: my search party is creeping into your no man's land

grayscale: baste me like a thanksgiving turkey!!!

David Levithan

#11. If secrets were stuffing, the woman would be done up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Lauren Oliver

#12. Detente - isn't that what a farmer has with his turkey - until Thanksgiving?

Ronald Reagan

#13. Praise God even when you don't understand what He is doing.

Henry Jacobsen

#14. It's so simple to create a delicious holiday meal without animal cruelty. I promise no one will miss the turkey!

Alicia Silverstone

#15. Ialways think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrims were best friends during the first Thanksgiving, but a few years later, the Pilgrims were shooting Indians.
So I'm never quite sure why we eat Turkey like everybody else. (101)

Sherman Alexie

#16. I'm vegetarian, but I love Thanksgiving dinner: faux turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes.

Leigh Lezark

#17. Tryptophan: a chemical in turkey meat rumored to make you sleepy and careless. One of the many minefields in the landscape of the family Thanksgiving.

Karen Joy Fowler

#18. A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.

Johnny Carson

#19. Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter's house - obviously, they'll have a turkey with all-white meat.

Chelsea Handler

#20. It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

Phyllis Diller

#21. Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary's Adopt-A-Turkey Project.

Ellen DeGeneres

#22. After the meal was done, the brothers moved slowly, as if drugged or sleepy, which made me wonder if it was similar to the post-turkey feeling on Thanksgiving Day.

Colleen Houck

#23. 'I'm sorry,' guys are always telling women, 'but I'm just not ready to make a commitment.' Guys are in a permanent state of nonreadiness. If guys were turkey breasts, you could put them in a 350-degree oven on July Fourth, and they still wouldn't be done in time for Thanksgiving.

Dave Barry

#24. Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It's a national tradition.

Eric Samuel Timm

#25. THE APPROACH OF Thanksgiving on November 29 sent Springfield into a panic - not over the nation-imperiling crisis plaguing its leading citizen, but the apparently more dismaying prospect of a local turkey shortage.

Harold Holzer

#26. When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!

David Letterman

#27. Here's a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.

Joan Rivers

#28. A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

Kin Hubbard

#29. Radical historians now the tell the story of Thanksgiving from the point of view of the turkey.

Mason Cooley

#30. I'd love to give my girls a traditional Thanksgiving with turkey and all that jazz, but we've raised them to love Tuscan food so much that they don't care for it. My favorite is a nice polenta with beef stew and broccoli rabe on the side.

Debi Mazar

#31. I think I'm going to give my baby her first food on Thanksgiving, make her some organic sweet potato. I'm very excited! It's going to be a big day and my husband is in charge of the turkey - he's the chef of the family!

Lily Aldridge

#32. Thank God for YouTube. Every Thanksgiving, I'm bombarded with 'Turkey Lurkey Time.'

Donna McKechnie

#33. I have nothing against turkey. We eat turkey for Thanksgiving in my house.

Marc Forgione

#34. You think you have a handle on God, the Universe, and the Great White Light until you go home for Thanksgiving. In an hour, you realize how far you've got to go and who is the real turkey.

Shirley Maclaine

#35. Holiday binge-buying has deep roots in American culture: department stores have been associating turkey gluttony with its spending equivalent since they began sponsoring Thanksgiving Day parades in the early 20th century.

Adam Davidson

#36. In deference to American traditions, my family put our oven to rare use at Thanksgiving during my childhood, with odd roast-turkey experiments involving sticky-rice stuffing or newfangled basting techniques that we read about in magazines.

Jennifer Lee

#37. We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

George Carlin

#38. The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'

Conan O'Brien

#39. Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

David Letterman

#40. The truth is the Super Bowl long ago became more than just a football game. It's part of our culture like turkey at Thanksgiving and lights at Christmas, and like those holidays beyond their meaning, a factor in our economy.

Bob Schieffer

#41. I started acting in second grade - my first role was in the Thanksgiving play. I was the Indian chasing the turkey. All the other mom's encouraged my mom to get me into acting after that. Also, when I saw 'The Sound of Music' at Music Circus, I knew I wanted to act.

Brie Larson

#42. Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.

Nicole Hollander

#43. A lighthearted prayer for Thanksgiving:

May you have turkey in season
Cranberries for squeezin'
Gravy (within reason)
And leftovers worth freezin'!
Amen

by Merrill Miller of Scottdale, PA

Mary Beth Lind

#44. It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.

Alistair Cooke

#45. The arrogance of the young is a direct result of not having known enough consequences. The turkey that every day greedily approaches the farmer who tosses him grain is not wrong. It is just that no one ever told him about Thanksgiving.

Harry Golden

#46. Times are hard in the ghetto, I gotta steal for a living;
Eating turkey-flavored Now & Laters for Thanksgiving.

DMX

#47. My most memorable meal is every Thanksgiving. I love the food: the turkey and stuffing; the sweet potatoes and rice, which come from my mother's Southern heritage; the mashed potatoes, which come from my wife's Midwestern roots; the Campbell's green-bean casserole; and of course, pumpkin pie.

Douglas Conant

#48. It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.

Russell Baker

#49. Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

Ambrose Bierce

#50. Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.

Mike Connolly

#51. I really don't do much on the night of Thanksgiving other than bring the wine and carve the turkey. My contribution comes the day after, in the form of breakfast. I usually just forage through the leftovers for things that will go well with eggs.

Wylie Dufresne

#52. I am going to host Thanksgiving myself and instead of a turkey I'm serving a big human butt.

Aimee Bender

#53. I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

Greg Behrendt

#54. My favorite meal is turkey and mashed potatoes. I love Thanksgiving, it's just my favorite. I can have Thanksgiving all year round.

Cindy Margolis

#55. Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving.

Pat Robertson

#56. He looked around at the chaos of the jacked-up children and then back at his nervous daughter. "I believe I'll stay, if you don't mind." What if she did mind? What if the idea of him watching her for the next two hours made her more nervous than a turkey at Thanksgiving?

RaeAnne Thayne

#57. I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'

Mitch Hedberg

#58. May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!

Grandpa Jones

#59. Love iz a big fat turkey and every day iz thanksgiving

Charles Bukowski

#60. I'm not a big turkey fan, but my husband loves it. Thanksgiving is his favorite meal.

Ruth Reichl