Top 100 Kin Hubbard Quotes
#1. There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
Kin Hubbard
#3. If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.
Kin Hubbard
#4. About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.
Kin Hubbard
#5. One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.
Kin Hubbard
#6. It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
Kin Hubbard
#7. University: ... a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.
Kin Hubbard
#8. No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.
Kin Hubbard
#9. Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.
Kin Hubbard
#10. Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.
Kin Hubbard
#11. Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
Kin Hubbard
#12. A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.
Kin Hubbard
#13. Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
Kin Hubbard
#14. Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Kin Hubbard
#15. A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.
Kin Hubbard
#16. Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
Kin Hubbard
#17. The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!
Kin Hubbard
#18. Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion
Kin Hubbard
#19. It don't make no difference what is is, a woman'll buy anything she thinks a store is losin' money on.
Kin Hubbard
#20. The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they've been indicted.
Kin Hubbard
#21. A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
Kin Hubbard
#22. When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.
Kin Hubbard
#23. The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.
Kin Hubbard
#24. Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.
Kin Hubbard
#25. Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young.
Kin Hubbard
#26. The rich man and his daughter are soon parted.
Kin Hubbard
#27. Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit.
Kin Hubbard
#28. Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
Kin Hubbard
#29. Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Kin Hubbard
#30. Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.
Kin Hubbard
#31. Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.
Kin Hubbard
#32. Never tell the box-office man that you can't hear well or he will sell you a seat where can can't see either.
Kin Hubbard
#33. Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.
Kin Hubbard
#34. In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
Kin Hubbard
#35. We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Kin Hubbard
#37. Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Kin Hubbard
#38. I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.
Kin Hubbard
#39. When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong.
Kin Hubbard
#40. Hon Editor Cale Fluhart was a power politically fer years, but he never got prominent enough t' have his speeches garbled.
Kin Hubbard
#41. Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.
Kin Hubbard
#42. We'd all like t'vote fer th'best man, but he's never a candidate.
Kin Hubbard
#43. Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
Kin Hubbard
#44. The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it's so crowded.
Kin Hubbard
#45. Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
Kin Hubbard
#46. The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
Kin Hubbard
#47. Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Kin Hubbard
#48. Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.
Kin Hubbard
#49. The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
Kin Hubbard
#50. There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
Kin Hubbard
#51. A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends.
Kin Hubbard
#53. A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.
Kin Hubbard
#54. Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.
Kin Hubbard
#55. The man who says "I may be wrong, but
" does not believe there can be any such possibility.
Kin Hubbard
#56. Experience is a dear teacher but he delivers the goods.
Kin Hubbard
#57. If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
Kin Hubbard
#58. No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
Kin Hubbard
#59. I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.
Kin Hubbard
#60. There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.
Kin Hubbard
#61. One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
Kin Hubbard
#62. If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
Kin Hubbard
#63. Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
Kin Hubbard
#64. It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
Kin Hubbard
#65. If at first you do succeed don't take any more chances.
Kin Hubbard
#66. The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.
Kin Hubbard
#67. We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want.
Kin Hubbard
#68. Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
Kin Hubbard
#69. Plain spoken people get most of the recognition because folks are afraid of them.
Kin Hubbard
#70. Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
Kin Hubbard
#71. Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.
Kin Hubbard
#72. I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.
Kin Hubbard
#73. Most parents don't worry about a daughter until she fails to show up for breakfast.
Kin Hubbard
#74. The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
Kin Hubbard
#75. Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
Kin Hubbard
#76. A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
Kin Hubbard
#77. It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
Kin Hubbard
#78. Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.
Kin Hubbard
#79. An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
Kin Hubbard
#80. It's the good loser who finally loses out.
Kin Hubbard
#81. Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.
Kin Hubbard
#82. If there's any literary ability in a feller, getting fired out of a good government job will bring it out.
Kin Hubbard
#83. Who remembers when we used to rest on Sunday instead of Monday?
Kin Hubbard
#84. Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
Kin Hubbard
#85. Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.
Kin Hubbard
#86. A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.
Kin Hubbard
#87. All I kin git out o' the Wickersham position on prohibition is that the distinguished jurist seems to feel that if we'd let 'em have it the problem o' keepin' 'em from gitten;' it would be greatly simplified
Kin Hubbard
#88. When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done
Kin Hubbard
#89. There isn't much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it.
Kin Hubbard
#90. A good listener is usually thinking of something else.
Kin Hubbard
#91. One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.
Kin Hubbard
#92. If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
Kin Hubbard
#93. A friend that ain't in need is a friend indeed.
Kin Hubbard
#94. If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
Kin Hubbard
#95. It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.
Kin Hubbard
#96. Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
Kin Hubbard
#97. The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.
Kin Hubbard
#98. Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
Kin Hubbard
#99. Very often the quiet fellow has said all he knows
Kin Hubbard
#100. The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.
Kin Hubbard
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