Quotes About Telling Jokes

#1. I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I'm the worst. I like physical comedy; it's where I feel comfortable.

Malin Akerman

#2. A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

Michael Showalter

#3. Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes for a living.

Jamie Foxx

#4. The whole experience of doing a sitcom is ... Telling jokes with such precision is really exciting, but it's also terrifying.

Lea Thompson

#5. I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one's mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight telling jokes to an audience. The direction I'm going in is eventually, you won't know if it's a joke or not.

Garry Shandling

#6. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.

Buddy Hackett

#7. I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.

David Letterman

#8. Sometimes, comedy and entertainment is not all about telling jokes; sometimes you just have to be you for a few moments.

Ray William Johnson

#9. Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their favorite TV shows, or a particular brand of shampoo?

Rob Delaney

#10. [Some people think] that storytelling is telling jokes. So they have to be discouraged! Then others think that storytelling-is like an encounter group ...

Doris Lessing

#11. could hear Rico's ass laughing in the background like I was some nigga on Comedy Central telling jokes and shit

Lucinda John

#12. People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.

Steve Harvey

#13. There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.

George S. Kaufman

#14. I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it's hard for me to write a joke where I don't end up on the ground for some reason. Hey, at least that way, I know no comics will steal my jokes. Too many bruises.

Chris D'Elia

#15. My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

Brad Garrett

#16. If I had a spouse and two kids to support I certainly would not be telling 'jokes' like he was doing at a conference.

Jon Ronson

#17. With Twitter, it's a little harder to tell jokes that somebody hasn't heard already. You have all these people out there sharing their opinions and telling jokes in real time, and by the time you get on, somebody's already done some version of what you're trying to do.

Frank Caliendo

#18. Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.

Mike Epps

#19. My locker room is serious. It is quiet. No one smiles. I don't like people telling jokes in my locker room. Now is not a time to tell jokes. From the minute we leave my hotel room, do not fuck around. The time for fucking around is over. Some serious shit is about to happen.

Ronda Rousey

#20. I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes.

Sayed Kashua

#21. I was one of those kids who liked a lot of attention. I was always the kid in class who'd be telling jokes and getting in trouble. Theater was a natural way for me to channel that and also become a productive member of society.

Lauren Worsham

#22. I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. I've got no plans to stop doing it.

David Alan Basche

#23. I have a problem with telling jokes about physics. Quite often the audience have no idea what you are talking about and, to be honest, I don't know what I'm talking about either.

Robin Ince

#24. Seinfeld has his way of telling jokes - and I'm not comparing myself to Seinfeld, his genius is observing the small details of everyday life and finding humor in it.

Nick Kroll

#25. I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I had no idea which joke I was telling. So I told jokes twice. I even told that one twice.

Mitch Hedberg

#26. I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

Adam Carolla

#27. I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.

Steven Wright

#28. I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh.

Marlo Thomas

#29. I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'

Aziz Ansari

#30. In a weird way, it's not different from any other kind of joke-telling. You make those calculations about jokes about celebrities: is this a fair hit or not? The stakes were higher because the whole world was crumbling around us, but in terms of joke-telling, it's all about feel.

Michael Schur

#31. There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.

Ashleigh Brilliant

#32. I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

Jimmy Carr

#33. They talked about fishing, food, winds and stonework; about growing tomatoes, keeping poultry and roasting lamb, catching crayfish and scallops; telling tales, jokes; the meaning of their stories nothing, the drift of them everything; the brittle and beautiful dream itself.

Richard Flanagan

#34. I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.

Robyn Hitchcock

#35. I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.

Steve Harvey

#36. I'd always liked our inside jokes the best - they made me feel more connected to Amy than any amount of confessional truth-telling or passionate lovemaking or talk-till-sunrising.

Gillian Flynn

#37. Whether a man chooses to tell the truth in long sentences or short jokes is a problem analogous to whether he chooses to tell the truth in French or in German.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

#38. The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.

Heath Ledger

#39. Like great art, something essential dies when great jokes are explained. So what's the key to telling a good joke/creating great art timing.

Travis Nichols

#40. He [Reagan] likes to tell jokes and that's why he told the ethnic joke that got him into some trouble. Perhaps if reporters didn't overreact to a politician's telling the very same joke they routinely hear and tell in the city room, we'd get more humor.

Robert Scheer

#41. A lot of the times I'm looking at something that I discover is part of a larger framework and not just a couple jokes. I see that it's a set, a story that I'll be telling. Sometimes I get lost in that.

Lewis Black

#42. I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus.

Steve Finley

#43. I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.

Thom Yorke

#44. I laughed. Partly at the joke, partly at how Afghan humor never changed. Wars were waged, the Internet was invented, and a robot had rolled on the surface of Mars, and in Afghanistan we were still telling Mullah Nasruddin jokes.

Khaled Hosseini

#45. I don't know how it all at once came to me to talk a lot, tell jokes, kick up, and suddenly have views. When it was time to have them, there was no telling how I picked them from the air.

Saul Bellow

#46. There's a lot of hypocrisy in audiences. I'd never dream of telling even on a nightclub stage, let alone my show, some of the jokes that are told in a lot of the living rooms from which we get those letters!

Johnny Carson

#47. As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.

Alex Hirsch

#48. People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.

Steven Wright

#49. I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.

Simon Le Bon

#50. You have to have a passionate opinion; otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.

Stephen Colbert

#51. Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large leather notebook and delighted in re-telling most of them to his friends.

Richard Overy

#52. I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs; next thing you know, I'm telling a lot of jokes about it.

Doug Benson

#53. Heard it," I say.
"You were supposed to stop me," he says, clearly exhausted after the telling. "How many breaths do I have left? You don't want me to waste them on twice-told jokes, do you?

Daniel Wallace

#54. I was an athlete growing up and I miss that. I miss hanging out with dudes and making raunchy jokes and telling stories, trading details, you know? There's something I really miss about that.

Chris Pratt

#55. This is weird, I feel like I should be telling you a story right now. Oberon

Kevin Hearne

#56. I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in a suit telling monologue jokes.

Carson Daly

#57. I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot.

Scott Stevens

#58. If we piled them up, they would reach God.' 'But God does not exist, Comrade Farmer.' 'Nor do the potatoes, Comrade Stalin.' " "Old one." "Jokes only get old if they're good. Otherwise, who keeps telling them?" "People like you who aren't funny?

David Benioff

#59. I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

Bernie Mac

#60. I'm not built for war. I'm built for entertainment. I'm built for jokes - either telling them or being the butt of them.

Josh Peck

#61. I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.

Jackie Mason

#62. You two would make a cute couple, she says as she passes by with a full dough tray in her arms. I don't know why she says it. We aren't doing anything but folding boxes with the other drivers and telling dirty jokes.
But we would.
We would make a cute couple.

A.S. King

#63. I definitely am a performer, and there are different styles of stand-up; I mean, some people are writers and they get onstage to get jokes out, and that's definitely not what I do. I like to just go up and, if I'm telling a story about someone, I'll play his or her part.

Chris D'Elia

#64. Promises are like silly jokes, told around a table when the food is good and no one has anything to lose by telling a lie or two - lies should have been a synonym for the word 'promise' in dictionaries, but only a few people knew it.

Cameron Jace

#65. telling the jokes - was the setups. Why were that priest, that rabbi, and that minister walking down that street? Where were they headed? How had they happened to come together? What odd chance had put ex-presidents Bush, Clinton, and Carter on that same plane?

Donald E. Westlake

#66. A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.

Zac Efron