Top 100 Quotes About Shit
#1. Just 'cause she's farting through silk doesn't mean she can shit on people who don't have any money.
Katherine Pancol
#2. Sometimes writing is like talking to a stranger who's exactly like yourself in every possible way, only to realize that this stranger is as boring as shit.
Chuck Klosterman
#3. He curled his claw into a fist. "I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass."
Adam's lip curled. "Remind me not to piss you off."
The demon raised his brow. "Trust that shit, mancy.
Jaye Wells
#4. What is it about him that makes you, like, totally lose your shit?
Megan McCafferty
#5. You hear mothers say all the time that they would die for their children, but my mom never said shit like that. She didn't have to. When it came to my brother, it was written across her face in 112-point Tupac Gothic.
Junot Diaz
#6. I don't want to be in some relationship that's just about trading apologies when things get hard. Doing that won't make it all OK, you know? So, no, I don't forgive you. But I fucking accept you, including all the shit you do that tests my patience. Because I love you.
Liora Blake
#7. There's shit that's random and shit you can control. It's up to you to choose what you'll react to and how to make your mark. What do you choose to control?
Cat Porter
#8. No cursing," I scolded him. "You're a knight. You don't get to do that. You gave up that right when you swore your oath to the King. You have to lead by example now. So say stuff like 'fudge toast' and 'mothercrackers' instead of 'shit whore' and 'fuck storm.
T.J. Klune
#9. Everything around us is roses, and we're the shit in between.
Katherine Boo
#10. I am a gypsy, Mahgen. What that means is that sometimes I do shit. On purpose. Shit, that pisses people off. And I like it. A lot.
-Madison Thorne Grey, Sustenance
Madison Thorne Grey
#11. SOMETIMES THE POOL-PAH," Bokonon tells us, "exceeds the power of humans to comment." Bokonon translates pool-pah at one point in The Books of Bokonon as "shit storm" and at another point as "wrath of God.
Kurt Vonnegut
#12. Don't know why folks need diamonds and pearls, fur coats, first-class tickets, island adventures when simple shit like this is the best thing you could ever do.
Kristen Ashley
#13. Is it too much?"
"No. It's like you completed the circuit," I say, gripping his other hand. "I feel kind of drunk, though."
"Drunk on power?" he asks.
I giggle. "Shit, Snow. Stop talking. This is embarrassing.
Rainbow Rowell
#14. Jack doesn't give a jackshit about me. No, wait, I got that backwards. I don't give a jackshit about Jack the Shit.
Sara Wolf
#15. Ranger was grinning. "Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot."
"That would be me."I said.
"Babe,"Ranger said, the grin widening.
Janet Evanovich
#16. When I say I have a big dick, it's not a shit-talking attention-seeking ploy to impress a girl.
Charisse Spiers
#17. Another coupon tacked onto the pile I'll redeem when I get some power in my fucken life. Look around this life and all you see is folks' coupons tacked everywhere, what they'll do if, what they'll do when. Warm anticipation for shit that ain't even going to happen.
D.B.C. Pierre
#18. I assumed it was someone trying to sell me something. They're always calling to sell. Once they said if I sent in a check for $99 I'd be pre-approved for a credit card, and I said, Right, sure, and if I step under a pigeon I'm preapproved for a load of shit
Nicole Krauss
#19. Chance could share shit like that with his brother. Chance shared everything with his brother. To him, Quinn was some sort of superhero who occasionally got knee-walking drunk, told great stories, could crack a joke, and pissed him off from time to time.
Alex Morgan
#20. If we are really committed, we better get start taking care of our shit.
M.F. Moonzajer
#21. The past, hey no shit, it's an open invitation to wine abuse.
Thomas Pynchon
#22. That's even worse. They'll steal it. Then they'll say they didn't steal it, they confiscated it. I know you Feds, you're always confiscating shit.
Neal Stephenson
#23. I met him almost two weeks ago." Jess's eyes went wide. "Holy shit! It's your two-week anniversary. We should drink." Lick-shoot-suck-gasp.
Kresley Cole
#24. Holy shit, Bird," I whispered through my teeth. "At least try to be normal. You have to at least try.
Nicole Krauss
#25. To be a true poet is to become God.
I tried to explain this to my friends on Heaven's Gate. 'Piss, shit,' I said. 'Asshole motherfucker, goddamn shit goddamn. Cunt. Pee-pee cunt. Goddamn!'
They shook their heads and smiled, and walked away. Great poets are rarely understood in their own day.
Dan Simmons
#26. But define 'completely ridiculous shit,'" Duvall said. "Does space travel count? Contact with alien races? Does quantum physics count? Because I don't understand that crap at all. As far as I'm concerned, quantum physics could have been written by a hack.
John Scalzi
#27. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.
George Carlin
#28. He recovers and seems to possess all his earlier faculties, with one exception: the formerly mild-mannered Gage is now something of a hellion, an impulsive shit-starter.
Mary Roach
#29. There were girls at school whose families grew to a robust five or six. There were girls with seven or eight-which was thought a little enthusiastic - and then there were the pathetic ones like me, who had parents that were just helpless to it, and bred as naturally as they might shit.
Anne Enright
#31. Religion - the wishful thinking of an ape that talks! You know what I think?" he asked rhetorically, trying to distract himself from yet another death. "Random shit happens, and we turn it into stories and call it sacred scripture -
Mary Doria Russell
#32. Neeva looked at the puddle of Christ's tears on the floor. When the power of Jesus fails you, then you know you truly are shit out of luck
Guillermo Del Toro
#33. We've got the whole team together! They're pudgier and dorkier than expected, but I'm cool with it. Let's go blow some shit up.
Pittacus Lore
#34. We are all entitled to our opinions and religious beliefs, but we are not entitled to make shit up and then use the shit we made up to oppress other people.
Cheryl Strayed
#35. I learned that you can get away with a lot of shit if you just do it like it's all you knew how to do.
Henry Rollins
#36. And tomorrow I'm gonna pound the shit outta your cunt for talking to me like that.
Crystal Spears
#37. At some point, I finally realized that stress made a really bad companion ... so I had it pack its shit and leave.
Steve Maraboli
#38. Get over yourself," I mutter. "I'd be wet if any guy was rubbing up against me."
"Bull. Fucking. Shit." His thumb brushes my clit. I almost fall over.
"It's me. You want me.
Elle Kennedy
#39. I cried and cried in my Mad Men dress. Jon Hamm held me by the shoulders and looked at me and said, "I know this is very sad, but this is a really important show for me, so I'm going to need you to get your shit together." This made me laugh so hard I think I peed.
Amy Poehler
#40. Shit or get off the pot."
"Shit or get off the pot? I was paying $250 an hour for advice my father gave me in third grade.
Penelope Ward
#41. Cruelty is cheap, easy, and rampant. It's also chicken-shit. Especially when you attack and criticize anonymously - like technology allows so many people to do these days.
Brene Brown
#42. Rubbish!" screamed a fat, elderly woman, in Richard's ear, as he passed her malodorous stall. "Junk!" She continued. "Garbage! Trash! Offal! Debris! Come and get it! Nothing whole or undamaged! Crap, tripe, and useless piles of shit. You know you want it.
Neil Gaiman
#43. Maybe what you found is being used for another reason?" Z stopped. "Oh, yeah. Right. Because those things are multifunctional. Like Q-tips or some shit. Look, would you talk to her?
J.R. Ward
#44. I don't even know if people should use the working fucking and angel in the same thought structure, but shit. She really looks like a fucking angel..
Colleen Hoover
#45. us. The little shit really digs Celia here. Been seein' her
Kirk Alex
#46. They really are something else together."
"Something else? That's the nice way of saying they're bat shit crazy."
"Hey! You listen here, woman."
"You can listen to my foot up your ass if you call me woman again. And you can take that to court.
J. Lynn
#47. There is always somebody about to ruin your day, if not your life.
Charles Bukowski
#48. My kingdom for a gun. (Geary)
You don't have a kingdom. (Brian)
And I don't have a gun- looks like I'm shit out of luck all the way around, huh? (Geary)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#49. Long story short: I don't know shit about whatever dancing monkey of the moment is amusing the plebes.
Antonio Garcia Martinez
#50. I know some gods. Better than I want to. Not one of them gives a shit about your heart
Matthew Woodring Stover
#51. Sometimes shit happens even if you have a shit shield
Nelson DeMille
#52. Rebecca, death don't take pot shots, then say, 'Oh, shit, I missed and got the wrong fella!
Catherine Anderson
#53. Moreover, there was what Amy called "the cocksuckers' contingent of the country" - what Danny knew as the dumber-than-dog-shit element, those bully patriots - and they were too set in their ways or too poorly educated (or both) to see beyond the ceaseless flag-waving and nationalistic bluster.
John Irving
#54. Auntie Elli, why are you open-mouth kissing Big Daddy Adler?
*Well, shit*
Toni Aleo
#55. Shit. Well, maybe taking her jeans off would make him more inclined to say she could check out his tunnels.
Of course, he was pretty much guaranteed to say yes if she let him check out her tunnel again, but ... no.
Stacia Kane
#56. Things is very primitive in the jungle - no place to shit, sleep on the ground like an animal, eat out of cans, no place to take a bath or nothing, clothes is all rotting off.
Winston Groom
#57. Madness doesn't get off wearing gloves. It needs to feel skin on skin, smell the blood and shit as it brings itself off.
Benjamin R. Smith
#58. Everyone's so full of shit, born& raised by hypocrites.
Green Day
#59. Hardly anybody," he said, "understands how essential shit is to holding things together.
Jane Urquhart
#61. I just needed some time to think and figure out shit in my head. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was too late. I've already given you my damn heart and I don't want it back." He leans down and smiles against my lips. "I want you," he whispers.
Victoria Ashley
#62. Della pretty much told him the same thing. And she gave him hell. The kind of hell only Della can dish out. Told him he was a piece of monkey shit and that he should go have himself castrated.
C.C. Hunter
#63. What makes you think that I give a shit about your self-confidence?
Toba Beta
#64. On Dealing with Bullies "You're going to run into jerk-offs, but remember: It's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it." On
Justin Halpern
#65. What's this shit?" Ray demanded, looking at the salesclerk. "Honey, truth hurts, but ain't no way you're a Magnum." "Well, I ain't no medium!" The clerk smiled. "Yeah, but I was being generous.
Karen Chance
#66. If I ever find a dead horse, I am going to beat the fucking shit out of it.
Sam Pink
#67. I swallowed my own smile. I shouldn't be thinking this was fun at all; it was serious business. But I couldn't help it, if you couldn't look at the world when it fell apart around you and see the funny shit, you would end up hating everyone and everything.
Shannon Mayer
#69. I want you more than
I've wanted anything in my life
and that frustrates the shit out of me
because you either can't or won't see it.
Harper Sloan
#70. Shadow is on the move," a soldier said suddenly ...
"We spotted her in the West atrium, then she vanished into the unfinished apartments. Scared the shit out of Dr. Marea on four, then ended up in the kitchen ogling a cheesecake.
Erin Kellison
#71. Then she spotted in the corner, glowing wonderfully, a Wurlitzer jukebox. ' Holy shit!' It was like being on a commuter train through the Bronx and seeing among the piles of crushed cars a pasture with a lone white horse.
Garth Risk Hallberg
#72. Realizing you've got shit on your fingers is the first step toward washing your hands.
James S.A. Corey
#73. The meat's so tough that it got up off the plate and beat the shit out of the coffee, which was too weak to defend itself.
Harry Brandt
#74. Ain't got no shit to fuckin worry on, dig. Ladybird good enough to handle any all comes she fuckin way.
Stacia Kane
#75. But then he put aside the awkward encounter, which his mind allowed him to do quite easily. He could compartmentalize at an astonishing level. It came from not giving a shit.
David Baldacci
#76. He's always checking out your arse."
Kevin's laugh died on it's way up his throat. "Are you serious? Shit, I need to work on my gaydar."
"No, you don't." Cedric folded his arms over his chest. "I'm gay and I want you. That's all you need to know.
Taylor V. Donovan
#77. to myself as I glanced over at her thick ass lying naked next to me. I was so in love with her smooth cocoa skin and that fat ghetto ass. She had me hypnotized by her big brown eyes... that long black hair...and her smell!!! Damn my bitch was fine and I loved the shit out of her, but
Niki Jilvontae
#78. Grayson. I know you think I'm full of shit, but I knew I loved him the moment we kissed.
Goddamaned it. What am I going to do? And then he stifles a sob with the last shot.
John Green
#79. Would you get your butt in here? Shit, you are slow as a fat kid on crutches, Zoey.
P.C. Cast
#80. You're one messed-up piece of work."
"Yeah, but you're starting to worry that you might like me," I say confidently. "Considering I also give you a boner, shit's gonna get reaaaaal complicated here in the next few months.
Lauren Layne
#81. When a room at the CIA headquarters is secret, a secret from people who spend their lives creating and breaking secrets, that's some pretty serious black-ops shit.
Scott Sigler
#82. If you hate it... you close it!
If you can't do it... you don't do it...!
...
Don't try from shit to make gold!
Deyth Banger
#83. But honestly? What women need?" Dean paused to take a sip of his coffee. "Actions. Not words. Sorry doesn't mean shit, begging doesn't mean shit, and promises don't mean shit.
Priscilla Glenn
#84. That dog'll roll in the snow, run in the snow, eat the damn snow, but he wont throught it to shit. I dont clear the path, he shits right by the door. Why is that?
Ryder asked.
Owen replied, "Hence the name."
The name of Ryder's dog ... Dumbass ...
Nora Roberts
#85. She turned her face to me. 'Can you tell I've been crying?'
For the gazillionth time, no. You look fine.'
Shit. I knew it. I look terrible.'
'Aphrodite! I just said you look fine.'
'Yeah, well, fine is fine for most people. For me it's terrible.
P.C. Cast
#86. All us humans are fouled on both ends. One we shit out of, and the other we talk shit out of.
Joe R. Lansdale
#87. The wind surged in a roar, then died down like it was pondering some heavy shit, then started back up like before.
Colum McCann
#88. Come on, Trouble. Let's go before you start farting bunnies and rainbows or some shit. Luke started laughing hard, and clamped his hand over his stomach, squeezing his brown eyes almost shut.
C.L.Stone
#89. There's a pounding at the bedroom door, followed by my mum's voice. "I know your in there, you little shit, and I'm giving you two minutes to shut it down, get dressed, and get out of there."
We look at each other in the mirror and laugh as we simultaneously say. "Busted.
Georgia Cates
#90. Are you going to take Sang to the football games, Dakota? It'd make a nice date."
( ... ) "Holy shit," Gabriel said. "The first time Sang gets asked out and it's by Kota's mother.
C.L.Stone
#91. There's not alcoholic in the world who wants to be told what to do. Alcoholics are sometimes described as egomaniacs with inferiority complexes. Or, to be cruder, a piece of shit that the universe revolves around.
Anthony Kiedis
#92. I needed to know you were what the promise of you seemed to be because I haven't been good with that shit in the past and, if you were, I needed to make certain you stayed where I wanted you to be.
Kristen Ashley
#93. Not the same thing in my opinion. You forgive for you. To find peace. You don't want that toxic shit eating up your soul. But you can use the injustice to fuel you." I
Leslie N. Johnson
#94. That's because Narnia was a Christian allegory pretending to be a fantasy series, you asshole," said one of the other boys. "C.S. Lewis never went through any doors. He didn't know how it worked. He wanted to tell a story, and he'd probably heard about kids like us, and he made shit up.
Seanan McGuire
#96. It was like... oral bribery or some shit. And not even for her. I was quite possibly the only teenage hormonal motherfucker on earth being guilt tripped into receiving head. Unwillingly...
AngstGoddess003
#97. And Kyle says, It's like when I'm with her, all the shit from my past doesn't even matter. Nothing does. I don't think about anything but her.
Jason Myers
#98. Did that happen?" asked Shadow. "Did what happen, shit-for-brains?" asked Mr. Nancy. "The hall. The fire. Tiger balls. Riding the Carousel.
Neil Gaiman
#99. Wine is not a magic serum of truth. It just silences that smart little voice in your head which advises against saying some dumb shit.
David Alejandro Fearnhead
#100. Suddenly, I developed an acute case of Tourette's syndrome, Fuck! That fucking-shit-son-of-an-ass-monkey-dick-weasel!
Christine Zolendz
