Top 100 Quotes About Puns
#1. In the context of fiercely monolingual dominant cultures like that of the United States, code-switching lays claim to a form of cultural power: the power to own but not be owned by the dominant language...Code-switching is a rich source of wit, humour, puns, word play, and games of rhythm and rhyme.
Mary Louise Pratt
#2. If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.
Peter Wisan
#3. I found my destination a few miles outside Swelling: a lone, squat, brown bar called The Inn of the Line...The place looked like a dive. Maybe even a plunge. Hell, it was a drowning accident.
Elliott James
#4. Would I laugh?"
"Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.
Margaret Atwood
#6. The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
John Oliver
#7. Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.
Victor Hugo
#8. Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon
You deserve to be taken out of circulation!
Karl Kesel
#10. Why does Kubrick always chill our blood, and make us huddled up scared stiff with eyes wide shut? Because even dead he's still "Shinnying" with his old hand and his eye-catching plots.
Ana Claudia Antunes
#11. I'd like my super power to be puns; I'd like to be great at puns: pun power. Then I could go on loads of panel shows and live off that forever.
Chris O'Dowd
#12. I'm pretty sure that wasn't there before," Nick grumbled.
Kelly laughed harder. "I'm pretty sure it was."
"Shut up."
"You're high."
"Oh, look at the pothead calling the kettle names," Nick said in a singsong voice as he settled onto the wide chaise beside Kelly.
Abigail Roux
#13. Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh.
Aniruddha Sastikar
#14. Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy.
Bob Hope
#15. My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial
James Joyce
#16. Mr. Pettifor, I've brought you lunch, Sir." "Leave it on my desk," he grouses. "It's your favorite, Sir, a Reuben with au jus," I say softly.
Ella Dominguez
#17. Dreams, puns, elisions, plays on words and similar tricks that we ordinarily think of as frivolous, all play a surprising and somewhat disconcerting role in the communication of important and serious feelings.
Milton H. Erickson
#18. Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.
Jonathan Swift
#19. What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you. And I welcome everyone and what do I get? People stepping all over me
Ana Claudia Antunes
#20. Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.
Adam Gopnik
#21. Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may benefit those markets, although, to be honest, giant melons don't strike me as potentially that commercial.
Jasper Fforde
#22. If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.
Terry Pratchett
#23. I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns are present in every language, though not shared by any of them.
Marshall Ramsay
#24. Fuck, Christina."
"Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that.
Nenia Campbell
#27. I live and die by puns.
Feist
#28. May I remind you, Howard, that mens means "the mind" and mensa means "a table"? But I expect in your case the two things are the same. No, no, don't scratch your head, boy. You'll get splinters.
Diana Wynne Jones
#29. Vimes thought for a moment and said, 'Well, dear, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a man with a lot of wood must be in want of a wife who can handle a great big
Terry Pratchett
#30. Good words were the difference between Emily eating well and not. And what she had found worked best were not facts or arguments but words that tickled people's brains for some reason, that just amused them. Puns, and exaggerations, and things that were true and not at the same time.
Max Barry
#32. 'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.
David Chase
#33. People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
Jon Stewart
#34. I hate puns. And, I'm tired of pardoning them.
Mark Lowry
#35. Another phenomenon, still more strikingly modern, was a package of lucifer matches, which, in old times, would have been thought actually to borrow their instantaneous flame from the nether fires of Tophet.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
#36. I like the old wisdom
puns, riddles, spells, proverbs.
Mason Cooley
#37. Xingu!" she scoffed. "Why, it was the fact of our knowing so much more about it than she did - unprepared though we were - that made Osric Dane so furious. I should have thought that was plain enough to everybody!
Edith Wharton
#38. at man's height the mouth utters its cries, tosses forth its oracles, gives vent to its puns. To allow words to come to life, bare themselves, and show us by chance, for the space of a lightning bolt bony with dice, a few of our reasons for living and dying
Michel Leiris
#39. People may claim to hate puns, but most true word lovers have groaned to like them.
Jay Heinrichs
#41. I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me.
Nikhil Sharda
#42. An exquisite invention this, Worthy of Love's most honeyed kiss,
This art of writing billet-doux
In buds, and odors, and bright hues! In saying all one feels and thinks In clever daffodils and pinks; In puns of tulips; and in phrases, Charming for their truth, of daisies.
Leigh Hunt
#43. Jasper!" Casey shouts, startling the young woman. "My cargo is talking to me!
Nathan Reese Maher
#44. Anyway, all he's partial to sending is holograms of uniquely perverted unicorns and video clips of him reading puns. Pluto, if anything, has made him stranger.
Pierce Brown
#45. You set, Bones?"
"Ouch," McCoy said. "I assume that pun was meant to make me feel better, or else accidental.
Diane Duane
#48. Jake Wexler, standing or sitting when not lying down
Ellen Raskin
#49. The zoo lost its elephant again. It never forgets where to go. I found it in the middle of my room.
Brian Spellman
#50. This did not seem to reassure Nico.
"I don't like being in the dark," he muttered.
An odd complaint for a child of Hades, but I understood what he meant.
Rick Riordan
#51. I say 'as it were' or 'so to speak' too often because puns and double entendres keep insinuating themselves into my consciousness as I'm talking.
Guy Gavriel Kay
#52. All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"
"Yeah," said Rincewind. " ... Luters, I expect.
Terry Pratchett
#53. They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.
Ryan North
#54. I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man.
Charles Lamb
#55. Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.
Terry Pratchett
#56. What do they call a collective of ghosts?"
"I don't know. What?"
"A fraid.
Abigail Roux
#57. I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
John Oliver
#58. LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
Ambrose Bierce
#59. The new Filipino President's name had become a saucy joke: 'Corazon, aqui, no?' That is: 'Darling, let's do it here, eh?' Or, if the words were stressed differently: 'Corazon, aqui? - No!'
Salman Rushdie
#60. People think dreams aren't real just because they aren't made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.
Neil Gaiman
#61. These napkins are more holy than righteous, Mrs. Wapshot said, and most of her conversation at table was made up of just such chestnuts, saws and hoary puns.
John Cheever
#62. Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.
Edgar Allan Poe
#64. All literary style, especially national style, is made up of such coincidences, which are a spiritual sort of puns. That is why style is untranslatable ...
Gilbert K. Chesterton
#65. I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.
Brian Spellman
#66. I tried to think of puns that might make my father laugh one more time, and I looked at the stars.
Morgan Matson
#67. Delightful, tragic, gloriously elegiac and riddled with puns-Close to Hugh is just like life, only so much more beautiful for being art.
Lynn Coady
#68. I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.
Cassandra Clare
#69. Also not the kind of place to hide a server."
"Is that another pun?" She asked.
"No! I swear! I didn't mean that one."
~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5
Ridley Pearson
#70. No way, that would kill my diet for the week. I don't know how you can stand to eat so unhealthy, Quinn.
Just consider it an amuse-biatch.
Steph Campbell
#73. Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
Jon Stewart
#75. My parents, worried that I might become popular at school, got me a book of puns at an impressionable age.
Alexandra Petri
#76. If I send all the books that I faithfully wrote overseas, would that, for any chance, be considered work-shipping??
Ana Claudia Antunes
#77. Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education.
Ben Aaronovitch
#78. And he won her freedom by playing beautiful music,' Roland added. 'I think he played a lute. Or maybe it was a lyre.'
'Ach, weel, that'll suit us fine,' said Daft Wullie. 'We're experts at lootin' an' then lyin' aboot it.
Terry Pratchett
#79. Do they always flirt with biblical quotes?" Asil asked Tad.
In long-suffering tones, Tad said, "They can flirt with the periodic table or a restaurant menu. We've learned to live with it. Get a room you guys.
Patricia Briggs
#80. That ugly freak has spent so much time in my head, I should be charging him rent. -Four
Pittacus Lore
#81. Puns are often unacceptable to the feelings; they come like a spoonful of ice-cream in the midst of a comfortable smoking-hot steak, or as a peppery morsel when your palate was in expectation of a mild pudding.
Sara Coleridge
#82. Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.
Matt Dunn
#83. From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked.
Tom Stoppard
#84. Okay, brace yourselves for a really hilarious joke here: Being a vampire sucks.
Tamara Summers
#86. Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
#88. A so-called antimony war had been waged between French [Galenist] physicians and [alchemical, Paracelsian] iatrochemists since the beginning of the seventeenth century. What it lacked in bloodletting, this war made up for in bile.
Philip Ball
#89. The lodgings were on the top floor next to the well-guarded premises of a respectable dealer in stolen property because, as Granny had heard, good fences make good neighbors.
Terry Pratchett
#90. Goodreads is actually about fiction not dreading goo. But I have a profile there, anyway...
Michael A. Arnzen
#91. I couldn't help it: Brendan was abs-olutely pec-tacular, horrible puns intended and very accurate.
Cara Lynn Shultz
#92. I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really is the highest form of humor.
Karin Slaughter
#93. It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.
Douglas Adams
#94. They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank discussions. And Shirley can join too because the pun works. The ideas of human beings of all demeanor and venues are at stake here.
Leviak B. Kelly
#96. I was in my element, excuse the pun.
Adele Rose
#97. I give people credit for buying into consumerism
John Green
#98. Far be it from me to insult the pun! I honor it in proportion to its merits; nothing more. All the most august, the most sublime, the most charming of humanity, and perhaps outside of humanity, have made puns.
Victor Hugo
#100. Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
Fred Allen
