Ryan North Quotes

#1. The machine captured that old sense of irony in death: you can know how it's going to happen, but you'll still be surprised when it does.

Ryan North

#2. You can't just say what's going to happen ahead of time. That's not how physical law works. That's narrative. And when reality is twisted to fit narrative, that's not natural. That's someone making stories happen.

Ryan North

#3. Wait... maybe the question isn't "How do I beat him?" Maybe the question in "Dude, why are we even fighting in the first place?

Ryan North

#4. I speculate that the genesis of the chicken-joke lies in some situation such as the one illustrated above, but over time the original context of the joke was lost, which left the chicken sadly decontextualized.

Ryan North

#5. I'm suddenly worried people will think that I believe their religion can be summed up on four sex-obsessed sentences.

Ryan North

#6. It's hard to get motivated fixing a compile-time syntax error when you can buy a powder that turns a house into a monster.

Ryan North

#7. If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again.

Ryan North

#8. Chicks, man, am I right? They crazy," you say.
"Yes, what IS the deal with over half the human population of the planet? They're definitely all 100% insane," Horatio replies sarcastically.

Ryan North

#9. As they say, 'It's all downhill from cupcakes.

Ryan North

#10. Don't worry, it's very clear that the painting was done by a human, most likely a human with one eye removed and a feverent if incorrect understanding of design and anatomy.

Ryan North

#11. Might as well ask the once-popular Magic 8-Ball something. It got "Outlook not so good" right. I don't know if anyone ever asked it about Internet Explorer.

Ryan North

#12. Dude, trouble's just an adventure you haven't finished yet!" - Jake the Dog

Ryan North

#13. you know: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF HUGS IS THE ENTIRE REASON I EVER ENGAGE IN ANY NARRATIVE, FICTIONAL OR OTHERWISE??

Ryan North

#14. They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

Ryan North

#15. But giving up's easy. You know what's hard? To believe in your own worth, to know you've got something special in you even if nobody else can see it. Even when you can't.

Ryan North

#16. We need to encourage our kids to express their feelings. We need to help them find their voice.

Ryan North

#17. Hey, McFly!" Has Biff returned?? No! It turns out that Howard, George's neighbour, is there! And he wants to sell him Girl Scout cookies!

Ryan North

#18. Progress! Progress through everybody dying and their kids eventually not caring who their parents hated!

Ryan North

#19. Obeying an unjust law is itself unjust.

Ryan North

#20. Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something.

Ryan North

#21. Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons.

Ryan North

#22. Maybe the best things are those that take the most work, you know? Maybe how you get somewhere can be at least as important as where you're going.

Ryan North

#23. Being hungover is like winning the lottery, only they pay you in regret.

Ryan North

#24. Algebraic to the limit!

Ryan North

#25. Failure is just success rounded down.

Ryan North

#26. In fact, Saint Maxwell's received, and often accepted, applications from preschoolers slated to die criminal deaths. It was just a question of, well, the quality of the crime. You let in the cocaine overdoses; you kept out the crack overdoses.

Ryan North

#27. We're all already aware of boobies; it is the general state of most people in North America! THANKS, MEDIA AND THE MALE GAZE

Ryan North

#28. I'm totally applying assumed Creative Commons rights.

Ryan North