Top 100 Quotes About Political Humor
#1. The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
Ray Romano
#2. Both conservatives and liberals watch 'Parks and Recreation,' and they each think the show is for them, which is really cool. 'SNL' was totally different. It was exciting because everyone was paying attention. Political humor works when people know what you're talking about.
Amy Poehler
#3. There's a way you political folks have of coming round and round a plain right thing
Harriet Beecher Stowe
#4. Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open.
George W. Bush
#6. I like the pooch. When I've had a dog's snout in my mouth, we tend to develop a special bond.
Randy Quarles
#7. Square school pizza disproves socialism more than any political argument ever did.
Richard Raley
#8. That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is fired.
George W. Bush
#9. Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it.
Kate Clinton
#10. Our plan will not favor religious institutions over nonreligious institutions. As president, I'm interested in what is constitutional and I'm interested in what works.
George W. Bush
#11. Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles.
Bauvard
#12. You have to have a sense of humor if you follow politics. Otherwise, the sheer fraudulence of it all will get you down.
Thomas Sowell
#13. Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
Robert Orben
#14. You know, if you find a person that you've never seen before getting in a crop-duster that doesn't belong to you, report it.
George W. Bush
#15. Our politicians always show lame excuse to defend their cripple decisions.
Munia Khan
#16. Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from.
George W. Bush
#17. My favorite Congressional incongruity: ... Red State legislators galumphing from meeting to meeting in full pancake makeup. Estee Lauder may well make more money on Capitol Hill than in Beverly Hills.
Frank Bruni
#18. There are fears that Britain could be facing a double-dip recession, or worse still, a double-dip with misery sprinkles and fuck-where's-my-job-sauce.
Frankie Boyle
#19. I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development. Mel Martinez from the state of Florida.
George W. Bush
#20. I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember.
George W. Bush
#21. The days of discriminating against religious institutions simply because they are religious must come to an end.
George W. Bush
#22. It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then.
George W. Bush
#23. Have any of you wondered what I did with all the cash Pekka Rollins gave us?"
"Guns?" asked Jesper.
"Ships?" queried Inej.
"Bombs?" suggested Wylan.
"Political bribes?" offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. "This is where you tell us how awful we are," she whispered.
Leigh Bardugo
#24. Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads.
George W. Bush
#25. Prepare yourself for some bad news: Ronald Reagan's library just burned down. Both books were destroyed. But the real horror: He hadn't finished coloring either one of them.
Gore Vidal
#26. Europe has achieved peaceful political union for the first time ever: They're using this unprecedented state of affairs to harmonize the curvature of bananas.
Charles Stross
#27. Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces.
Raheel Farooq
#28. I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't.
George W. Bush
#30. Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious - I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.
George W. Bush
#31. If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders.
George W. Bush
#32. You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!
Harry Truman
#33. These demands are not open to negotiation or discussion.
George W. Bush
#34. We say to seniors, we understand how important prescription drug coverage, so prescription drugs will be an ingrinable part of the Medicare plan.
George W. Bush
#35. I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.
Margaret Thatcher
#37. I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less - I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more interacting with people.
George W. Bush
#38. I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.
Christopher Moore
#39. I confirmed to the prime minister that we appreciate our friendship.
George W. Bush
#40. I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie.
Ian McClellan
#41. Democracy is a poor system; the only thing that can be said for it is that it's eight times as good as any other method.
Robert A. Heinlein
#42. If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.
George W. Bush
#43. Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation.
Conan O'Brien
#44. It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term.
George W. Bush
#46. He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
Chelsea Handler
#47. If he's - the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a - is a noble institution I would - I would strongly reject that assumption - that John Ashcroft is a openminded, inclusive person.
George W. Bush
#48. What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
George W. Bush
#49. I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.
George W. Bush
#50. I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in the forethought of our thinking.
George W. Bush
#51. In this modern day and age America's newest slogan is: Mom, apple pie and high-speed Internet. They say you can live two weeks without food, a day or so without water but take someone's smart phone away, and that person won't last five minutes."
- Will Roberts
Will Roberts
#52. It was a state of aloneness. It was the kind of place that started shooting political prisoners because it suspected that they would enjoy solitary confinement and internal exile too much.
Will Wiles
#53. About 14 percent of our nation's civilian workforce is foreign-born.
George W. Bush
#54. The senator has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.
George W. Bush
#55. I understand religion is a walk, it's a journey. And I fully recognize that I'm a sinner, just like you.
George W. Bush
#56. The woman who knew that I had dyslexia - I never interviewed her.
George W. Bush
#57. From Olsen's Nation: "Through the power of our diplomacy, a world that was once divided about how to deal with Iran's nuclear program now stands as one. Standing as one, the world now sincerely regrets Iran's nuclear program." - President Bodvar Olsen, fifth State of the Union address
Randy Quarles
#58. Senses of humor define people, as factions, deeper rooted than religious or political opinions. When carrying out everyday tasks, opinions are rather easy to set aside, but those whom a person shares a sense of humor with are his closest friends. They are always there to make the biggest influence.
Criss Jami
#59. I would have my secretary of treasury be in touch with the financial centers, not only here but at home.
George W. Bush
#60. What's a political?"
"Like a spy, but on your own side," said Maladict
Terry Pratchett
#61. A lot of political people, especially people on the left, have forgotten the importance of humor as an incredible weapon, and a vehicle through which to affect change.
Michael Moore
#62. We've got a cultural issue in America. We've got to change the whole way the issue is looked at. That's the mission. Some in the political process don't have enough patience for that, and I probably don't either.
George W. Bush
#63. Recession, terrorism, debts, political turmoil, disease, famine, mortality... screw it, I'm putting googly eyes on things.
Charles R.L. Guthrie
#64. Caricatures are an important part of our culture of debate. They should defuse political spats through humor and irony. It is about making a strong statement but softening it with a wink. So Danes do not get too upset about caricatures. None of us is interested in insulting Muslims.
Anders Fogh Rasmussen
#65. If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Stephen Colbert
#66. There's been shock waves sent throughout all parts of the nation's economic fabric.
George W. Bush
#67. If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.
George W. Bush
#68. Kids, don't trust any radical under twenty-five. His cock tends to get in the way of his political vision
Juan Antonio Butler
#69. Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.
George W. Bush
#70. INDECISION NOW!' isn't a battle cry that's going to rouse anybody's blood. But I sometimes wonder if it isn't the sanest one.
Phillip Andrew Bennett Low
#71. And the state of his bathroom
I'm not one to gossip, but there are things crusted on his sink that have not simply developed intelligent life, but have in all probability by now envolved their own political systems.
Neil Gaiman
#72. I've got a great sense of where I want to lead and I'm comfortable with why I'm running. And, you know, the call on that speech was, beware. This is going to be a tough campaign.
George W. Bush
#73. Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis.
George W. Bush
#74. Political correctness is modern day censorship. This still doesn't justify you in being a douchebag.
Kevin Focke
#75. Some smart alecs of those days after World War I used to say: The French fought for liberty, the British fought to control the seas, but the Americans fought for souvenirs.
Harry Truman
#77. What good is it to be rich if we canna scrape up the scratch to buy a political prisoner on a whim?
Kresley Cole
#79. Behind his careful political flippancy and cynicism one might also detect a certain careless sincerity, which would probably in the long run save him from moderate success, and turn him into one of the brilliant failures of his day.
Saki
#81. She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal - Antonio.
George W. Bush
#82. Jamie Kilstein and Allison Kilkenny have created an important political radio show that balances humor and unreported news. At a time when media conglomerates dominate the airwaves, independent media like Citizen Radio is vital to national discourse.
Noam Chomsky
#83. Her insides began to roar with a ferocious explosion of sensation and entitlement. For a moment, her thinking mind know this was what male and females were put on earth to do.
Lisa McKnight
#84. The only working model of socialism I have ever seen is in an elementary school classroom.
R.M. ArceJaeger
#85. For good or evil, a line has been passed in our political history; and something that we have known all our lives is dead. I will take only one example of it: our politicians can no longer be caricatured.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
#86. I didn't set out to do a gay comic, but given the current political and religious climate in this country, I feel it is important as a gay person, and a Christian, to create stories with humor and honesty.
Paige Braddock
#87. Well. I think it's safe to say that, in my absence, the power grabbing and backstabbing and political intrigue has officially reached an all-time Otherworld high.
Lesley Livingston
#88. We keep electing council members for appearance sake, it doesn't mean anything, and it is just a show for the people, so that they may sleep well at night with their delusion of peace.
S.R. Gibbs
#89. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
Douglas Adams
#90. Dubya! What in Tarnation!? Why, I'll tan yer hide fer this!So, what's sex like after fifty, anyway?
George W. Bush
#91. The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming.
George W. Bush
#92. I don't see how we can allow public dollars to fund programs where spite and hate is the core of the message. Louis Farrakhan preaches hate.
George W. Bush
#93. You can't understand Twenty-first-Century Politics with an Eighteenth-Century Brain.
George Lakoff
#94. You can't believe that AIDS is a curse from God against Gays without accepting that Lyme Disease is a curse from the same God against Deer Hunters ...
T. Rafael Cimino
#95. Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
Jasper Fforde
#96. Generally speaking, it is injudicious for ladies to attempt arguing with gentlemen on political or financial topics. All the information that a woman can possibly acquire or remember on these subjects is so small in comparison with the knowledge of men...
Samuel Orchart Beeton
#97. I think up until the point when we started in the business, which was in the early '70s, most of the humor was political. The smart humor was political satire.
David Zucker
#98. They say the crazies come out at night. I say the crazies come out during election year: Elections have the power to turn once seemingly normal people into certified loonies.
Criss Jami
#99. In a way, the political cartoon drawings are things that are small and have humor and a childhood aesthetic and are often stronger to spread an opinion.
Camille Henrot
#100. One good thing about being an immigrant in the US, no one cares about my sociopolitical opinion. I exist like a bland wallpaper to all races.
Fidelis O. Mkparu
