Quotes About Having Herpes

#1. It was a newsflash to me that dating as a pre-thirty divorcette was as bad as having herpes.

Stephanie Klein

#2. I'm kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back.

George Carlin

#3. Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.

Sacha Baron Cohen

#4. If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

Chuck Palahniuk

#5. It's rock and roll, sugar. Guys shouldn't sound like angels. They should sound like sick bastards who'll butt fuck your little sister and leave her with herpes.

Bijou Hunter

#6. She covered her body with a feather, reached under her legs, and threw her panties into the audience. A flying herpes rag. A hipster with mutton-chop sideburns caught it. He crumpled it in his fist and thrust it into the air excitedly. His little venereal prize. A

Neil Strauss

#7. Why is it beautiful that humanity keeps coming back? So does herpes.

Isaac Marion

#8. The Dark Ages are alive and secretly thriving like a herpes infection among us.

Juliette Fay

#9. Participation trophies are the soul herpes of a generation.

Christopher Titus

#10. My daddy, or papa as Ilike to call him is always healthy. Sure, he had the herpes but he managed it very well!

Santino Marella

#11. Gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis, put my LP on your Christmas gift list.

Eminem

#12. ... it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.

Jeremy Clarkson

#13. You," Madeline said, her voice hollow and wheezing, "are like a bad case of herpes, wizard. You're inconvenient, embarassing, no real threat, and you simply will not go away.

Jim Butcher

#14. The virus of irony is as widespread in California as herpes, and once you're infected with it, it lives in your brain forever.

Neal Stephenson

#15. I think the philosophy in our public schools, and many other institutions today, is that a dose of God is more hazardous to your health than a dose of herpes or drugs.

Cal Thomas

#16. I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.

Hunter S. Thompson

#17. Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be ... herpes.

Jen Lancaster

#18. I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.

Doug Stanhope

#19. She's out of my league, but if she has herpes ...
That puts us in the same league!
The herpes league!

Rick Remender

#20. Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Dov Davidoff

#21. Can you ever "solve" poverty? Can you ever "solve" crime? Can you ever "solve" disease, unemployment, war, or any other societal herpes? Hell no.

Max Brooks

#22. A simple hello could lead to a million things. "Yeah," Gus said. "Like herpes or getting fisted.

T.J. Klune

#23. Britain's Advisory Committee on Dangerous Pathogens had lately reclassified herpes B into biohazard level 4, placing it in the elite company of Ebola, Marburg, and the virus that causes Crimean-Congo hemorrhagic fever. National

David Quammen

#24. Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes.

Justin Halpern

#25. Alcoholism is a disease," she said. "Like athlete's foot. Or herpes. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Luker and I have lots of friends who are alcoholics. And speed freaks too." "Well,

Michael McDowell

#26. Harpies, n. A disease transmitted to humans by birds with human faces.

Ron Brackin

#27. I was thinking about picking up kayaking, but I didn't want anyone to think I had herpes.

Ingrid Weir

#28. Whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don't have to tell her about my herpes.

Anthony Jeselnik

#29. Pot is to narcotics what herpes is to social diseases; it doesn't count cos it's not really dangerous and it's too easy to get.

Doug Stanhope

#30. Why does everybody say 'feminist' that way?" "What way?" "The way Dooney kept saying 'herpes' after health class last year. Like it's this terrible, unspeakable thing.

Aaron Hartzler

#31. Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That's a unique way to cover up herpes.

Chelsea Handler

#32. Your like herpes you show up when shit gets tense, and never fully go away! - (Cooper to Violet)

Ann Charles