Top 64 Quotes About Feet Funny

#1. I picked up a transsexual hooker named Thor, all six feet of her, at the off ramp to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, as I was driving up north to kill a man.

J.A. Konrath

Quotes About Feet Funny #59342
#2. Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for these.

Steve Coogan

Quotes About Feet Funny #91404
#3. My heart's so light it floats and carries me so my feet don't walk. I sing all day and I don't mind the washing, and that's how I know I'm in love. Completely smitten with My Lord the cat.

Shannon Hale

Quotes About Feet Funny #130915
#4. No tricks, Syn," Ryder growled from where he stood a few feet away.
"Tricks are for kids, silly rabbit," I said

Amelia Hutchins

Quotes About Feet Funny #170561
#5. The uniform enhanced his athletic body, and my thoughts drifted to how magnificent he would look with his uniform puddled around his feet.

Maria V. Snyder

Quotes About Feet Funny #205332
#6. Now I got my foot - through the door - and I ain't goin' no where.

Gwen Stefani

Quotes About Feet Funny #222739
#7. He shook his head. He didn't know. He couldn't tell when he had woken fully. He walked to the horses. They definitely seemed alarmed. But then, they would. After all, he had just leapt to his feet unexpectedly, waving his saxe knife around like a lunatic.

John Flanagan

Quotes About Feet Funny #283594
#8. I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

Billy Crystal

Quotes About Feet Funny #296890
#9. I don't like big feet. It reminds me of gammon.

Steve Coogan

Quotes About Feet Funny #319514
#10. What sort of funny songs?"
"My balls are swearing my balls are swearing I can't keep my balls from sweating ohhh no."
"How is that funny?" I asked.
"As in the balls of your feet?"
"No, it's like this thing ... Never mind," he said.

Anna Carey

Quotes About Feet Funny #330358
#11. If you two had babies would they be like uber-von Strassenbergs? Would they be like eight feet tall?

Gwenn Wright

Quotes About Feet Funny #380966
#12. This is a theater," Bertie, annoyed by the inquisition, dropped him onto stage. Several feet of slack cable landed atop the fairy in a slithering heap.
"Oh!" Peaseblossom said. "You've buried him alive!

Lisa Mantchev

Quotes About Feet Funny #389893
#13. He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur.
"I'm definitely thinking something with more body parts," I said. "Like a head."
He gave a snort of a laugh. "It's probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too.

Kelley Armstrong

Quotes About Feet Funny #430222
#14. Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself - and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure.

Eric Allman

Quotes About Feet Funny #473544
#15. Noses run. Feet smell.

Teresa Monachino

Quotes About Feet Funny #514075
#16. If there's ever a woman who's smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don't write that. They only write parts for women where they let everything be steamrolled over them, where they let people wipe their feet all over them.

Teri Garr

Quotes About Feet Funny #553127
#17. I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

Steven Wright

Quotes About Feet Funny #554875
#18. I was never over-weight, just under-tall. The correct height for my weight at the moment is seven feet ten and a half inches.

Brendan Grace

Quotes About Feet Funny #565345
#19. Hackers are nerdy, pasty, tubby, little geeks with triple thick glasses and this is probably a demented otaku with smelly feet. So catching him will be a breeze!

Keiko Nobumoto

Quotes About Feet Funny #574942
#20. Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it's dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared.

Tupac Shakur

Quotes About Feet Funny #656448
#21. Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says Oh, no! She's up.

Joanne Clancy

Quotes About Feet Funny #672282
#22. I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I'm up to six foot five inches.

Chuck Wepner

Quotes About Feet Funny #687840
#23. If you can walk with your head in the clouds and keep your feet on the ground, you can make a million dollars in the NBA.

Gary Dornhoefer

Quotes About Feet Funny #701911
#24. I'm taller than my father, and taller than two of the stones at Ban Drochaid."
"I meant in feet," she clarified. Speaking of the mundane gave her a measure of calm.
He eyed his boots a moment and appeared to be doing some rapid calculations.

Karen Marie Moning

Quotes About Feet Funny #753156
#25. I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a fish, or falling out of a chair, or running into a door, or tripping over their own feet and eating it, is all stuff I find really, really funny.

Thomas Sadoski

Quotes About Feet Funny #783299
#26. She smirks."Are you attempting to stop me, little one?"
"Excuse me? Did you just call me 'little one'? What are you? Like, four feet tall?" I ask.

Carrie Jones

Quotes About Feet Funny #824536
#27. Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers ... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.

Amy Poehler

Quotes About Feet Funny #837209
#28. I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet."
At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?"
"I just know.

Cassandra Clare

Quotes About Feet Funny #862353
#29. If you go by other people's opinions or predictions,
you'll just end up talking yourself out of something.
If you're running down the track of life thinking that
it's impossible to break life's records,
those thoughts have a funny way of sinking into your feet.

Carl Lewis

Quotes About Feet Funny #873588
#30. Puppies are cute. I'm fierce!"
"Yeah!" Evelyn snorted. "Romas says you're as fierce as a kitten."
"A kitten?" Kiera's tone grew more hurt. "I'm not afraid of him, just because he's twelve feet tall and can bench press me with his toes. It's not nice of him to say that

Lizzy Ford

Quotes About Feet Funny #894983
#31. I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building ... I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."

Steven Wright

Quotes About Feet Funny #895292
#32. A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.

Bob Monkhouse

Quotes About Feet Funny #924173
#33. Then he smiles because he knows deep in his bones that his dad has gone and said something really funny probably. He kicks off his sheet and slides his feet into his slippers. Bunny sits in the living room, slumped low on the sofa, full of Geoffrey's Scotch and Poodle's cocaine.

Nick Cave

Quotes About Feet Funny #938058
#34. Right now I feel that I've got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.

Bo Belinsky

Quotes About Feet Funny #961840
#35. With freestyling it's not about "Say something funny!" That has nothing to do with it. It's about becoming quicker on your feet and knowing that your entire day can go into your rap if you're on it.

Doseone

Quotes About Feet Funny #990346
#36. I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world?

E.A. Bucchianeri

Quotes About Feet Funny #993706
#37. A room - full of detached feet - like hundreds of them. Maybe thousands! And I saw the king in there. He was having an orgy with them. It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen. Like a bunch of insects crawling all over his naked body. Except they weren't insects.

Colleen Chen

Quotes About Feet Funny #996845
#38. I was eight feet tall and made of metal again, and oh how I'd missed it so.

Andrew Seiple

Quotes About Feet Funny #1016767
#39. Think of something to say. Keep him here. Something funny and interesting and cool.
"I put my wellies on because I was sure it was going to rain and now my feet are getting horribly moist," Ellie said, and it was the single worst thing she'd ever said to anyone.

Sarra Manning

Quotes About Feet Funny #1035680
#40. A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"

Henny Youngman

Quotes About Feet Funny #1043621
#41. One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

Robert Benchley

Quotes About Feet Funny #1076773
#42. I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?

Ellen DeGeneres

Quotes About Feet Funny #1138712
#43. On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

Al McGuire

Quotes About Feet Funny #1143697
#44. Curran.
"You're taking a nap? Come on Kate, I need you for this fight, Stop lying around."
You sonovabitch. I rolled to my feet and grabbed my sword. "You must think you're funny.

Ilona Andrews

Quotes About Feet Funny #1191695
#45. There's lotion for your face, lotion for your hands, lotion for your feet, lotion for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?

Ellen DeGeneres

Quotes About Feet Funny #1204500
#46. Sire," Oliver said as he helped Petunia to her feet, "I'd like to marry Petunia.
"Of course you would," retorted the King Gregor. "But not right now! we just got those two taken care of." He pointed to the twins who were still trying to play Christian's odd game. "And weddings are expensive!

Jessica Day George

Quotes About Feet Funny #1228662
#47. I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

Gilbert Gottfried

Quotes About Feet Funny #1255966
#48. I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

Kristen Schaal

Quotes About Feet Funny #1309204
#49. My shoes are size 2 and a 1/2, the same size as my feet

Elaine Paige

Quotes About Feet Funny #1334150
#50. I brought you some coffee." he held out the cup but she waved it away.
"I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet."
At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?"
"I just know."
-Luke and Clary, pg.209-

Cassandra Clare

Quotes About Feet Funny #1411002
#51. I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..

Mitch Hedberg

Quotes About Feet Funny #1431901
#52. Ala!" Echo sprang to her feet, legs tangled in the sheets. The Ala was here. The Ala had brought food. The Ala was a goddess

Melissa Grey

Quotes About Feet Funny #1452857
#53. He's an idiot," Harry said again. "One who doesn't deserve to lick your feet. You'll thank me someday."
"I have no intention of allowing him to lick me anywhere," she retorted, then turned utterly red when she realized what she's said.

Julia Quinn

Quotes About Feet Funny #1470801
#54. So I know where my feet are.

Robert Pattinson

Quotes About Feet Funny #1519307
#55. Love it when a compelling new character kicks open your mental door, tracks mud across your brain, and props their feet up on your cerebrum.

Don Roff

Quotes About Feet Funny #1581119
#56. He's also taller than I thought, maybe six feet, with a slim but athletic build. His pants hug his hips just enough to outline a bit of a visible bulge. Or maybe it's just the lighting in here. Or maybe I'm just a pervert.

Karina Halle

Quotes About Feet Funny #1593037
#57. Well what's funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, Bob's hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured.

Brad Bird

Quotes About Feet Funny #1624894
#58. You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it

Bill Hicks

Quotes About Feet Funny #1658053
#59. Get your filthy paws off my son, feet pue tan! Cherise

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Quotes About Feet Funny #1658269
#60. And the funny, impish magic of a wrap party is that everyone still has scraps of their characters hanging off them like Salome's veils, fluttering, fading, but not quite finished tangling the tongue and tripping the feet. You're not in Wonderland anymore, but you positively reek of rabbit.

Catherynne M Valente

Quotes About Feet Funny #1671253
#61. It's not funny, Jace," Alec interrupted, starting to his feet. "Are you just going to let her stand there and call me names?"
"Yes," Jace said kindly. "It'll do you good
try to think of it as endurance training.

Cassandra Clare

Quotes About Feet Funny #1698984
#62. I sort of fell."
"Percy! Six hundred and thirty feet?

Rick Riordan

Quotes About Feet Funny #1762445
#63. He was discovered with his feet stuck to the ceiling in the bathroom with his head stuffed in the toilet ...

Orson Scott Card

Quotes About Feet Funny #1837695
#64. Opinions are like feet. Everybody's got a couple, and they usually stink.

Jim Slattery

Quotes About Feet Funny #1877823

Famous Authors

Popular Topics

Scroll to Top