Quotes About Farting

#1. And don't put a bunch of bullshit in my mouth, or get cute and try to make me look stupid. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the salon to have my pubic hair straightened and dyed white so that my dick looks like Santa Claus." He closed the door, farting loudly all the way to his car. I went

David Wong

#2. ... "shagging" - a quasi-comical activity, like belching or farting, except it was more taboo and more necessary than these.

Amit Chaudhuri

#3. Nothing is more conspicuous than a farting princess.

Jack Vance

#4. And Father's fondness for talking about farting and going to the bathroom is disgusting.

Anne Frank

#5. Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

Ryan Hansen

#6. Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Graham Norton

#7. You're walking around as though everyone is farting roses and pissing champagne. What's up?

Samantha Young

#8. It's a really hard movie [Insane Farting Corpse] to do a Q&A for, as well. The audience is still kind of reeling and being like, "I don't know what to ask."

Daniel Radcliffe

#9. Fame - fame was the anti-death. But it seemed to slither from his grasp, seemed to giggle and retreat, seemed to hide behind a huge oak tree and make farting sounds with its hands.

Keith Gessen

#10. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

James Joyce

#11. I used to be a folk singer, but I was ... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog. And being a folk singer doesn't make you attractive to women.

Billy Connolly

#12. We were supposed to be brainstorming. But, unfortunately, my brain was farting.

Rachel Renee Russell

#13. Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins that may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days like a broken man behind a farting camel.

Hafez

#14. My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog.

Alex O'Loughlin

#15. While the churches, bringing the sweet smell of piety for the soul, came in prancing and farting like brewery horses in bock-beer time, the sister evangelism, with release and joy for the body, crept in.
silently and greyly, with its head bowed and its face covered.

John Steinbeck

#16. Of course I think it's a movie for everybody [Insane Farting Corpse], but that's probably just because it's a movie for me.

Paul Dano

#17. Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.

Kevin Hart

#18. I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl.

Gemma Halliday

#19. Farting, don't think, just fart.

John Cage

#20. Choosing to have a child you can't take care of is like farting in an elevator. Sure you got it out, but not it's everyone else's problem.

Richard Jeni

#21. On My First Driving Lesson First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell? ... Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that's not moving makes you an asshole.

Justin Halpern

#22. But," she said to the priest, "I'm not dead yet. I've heard the angels farting on the ceiling.

Jean Genet

#23. Teeth. What god-damned things they were. We had to eat. And eat and eat again. We were all disgusting, doomed to our dirty little tasks. Eating and farting and scratching and smiling and celebrating holidays.

Charles Bukowski

#24. I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum.

Anthony Langston

#25. Oi, doll, ignore him,' said Sia, using a notebook to fan her face. 'Sweet lord, I'm like a human hot-water bottle wrapped in doona in front of a heater at the moment. And did I tell you about the constant farting?

Gabrielle Tozer

#26. Acting has been described as farting about in disguise.

Peter O'Toole

#27. A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

Jenny Eclair

#28. I'm too old to be farting around with stuff that isn't precisely what I want to do.

Wes Borland

#29. I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.

Tina Fey

#30. In his autobiography Stravinsky relates that the first music he remembers was made by a peasant, working his hand in his armpit to produce a rhytmic farting.

Craig Raine

#31. I suppose the difference between baby people and me is that I do not consider smiling while farting 'holding up your end of a conversation.

Lizz Winstead

#32. He tolerated his fellow Englishmen, but the Welsh were cabbage-farting dwarves, the Scots were scabby arse-suckers, and the French were shriveled turds.

Bernard Cornwell

#33. Let's shake hands and be friends, but please, I beg you, stop farting like that, becuase I'm beinning to hallucinate and in my dreams I see Comrade Josepg Stalin doing the charleston.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

#34. Reading the script [Insane Farting Corpse], by page two or three, I felt that way. I thought, I'm in. It was so beautiful and insane and funny and I wanted to see it happen.

Paul Dano

#35. I tapped on the door, with all the power of a farting flea.

Gavin Extence

#36. I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts.
Let's not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of life. Squeezing out big plumes of noxious gas doesn't always smell good, but it generally feels might fine.

Neil Pasricha

#37. (My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

Tina Fey

#38. We need to bring out the rabble-rousing nature of people. We are gonna need un-repression. We need hundreds of people farting up a storm. We need a big-time, old-fashioned, furious, fart storm.

Allan Dare Pearce

#39. Until woman as she is can drive this plastic spectre out of her own and her man's imagination she will continue to apologize and disguise herself, while accepting her male's pot-belly, wattles, bad breath, farting, stubble, baldness and other ugliness without complaint.

Germaine Greer

#40. If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.

Demetri Martin

#41. There is a tremendous amount of farting in prison.

Charlie Engle

#42. Every night was a somber, adults-only slumber party - no giggles or whispers, just lots of coughing and farting and snoring and groaning, the sounds and smells of too many stressed-out of people packed into too small a place.

Tom Perrotta

#43. They had just digested a recent meal of prepositions and were happily farting out apostrophes and ampersands; the air was heav'y with th'em&.

Jasper Fforde

#44. John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.

David Wong

#45. We've been an empire in decline since I can remember," Ketchum said bluntly; he wasn't kidding. "We are a lost nation, Danny. Stop farting around.

John Irving

#46. Hitler suffered acutely from meteorism; perhaps he did not suffer so acutely as those around him, since meteorism is uncontrolled farting, a condition exacerbated by Hitler's strictly vegetarian diet.

A. N. Wilson

#47. The boundaries of my world had shrunk, but I was still alive, and as long as I could go on breathing and farting and thinking my thoughts, what difference did it make where I was?

Paul Auster

#48. I find it gross to talk about bodily functions like shitting or farting or your period, if you're a girl, unless it's extremely necessary.

Riley Keough

#49. As soon as you open the door wide enough to admit pink nerve-gas-farting dragons, you have let in all of those other possibilities as well.

Neal Stephenson

#50. Come on, Trouble. Let's go before you start farting bunnies and rainbows or some shit. Luke started laughing hard, and clamped his hand over his stomach, squeezing his brown eyes almost shut.

C.L.Stone

#51. He that lives upon hope will die farting.

Benjamin Franklin

#52. He said it with this really serious look on his face, like he was in the process of farting out some really important wisdom.

Lauren Oliver

#53. I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests with an imaginary dog!

Matthew Lillard

#54. Just 'cause she's farting through silk doesn't mean she can shit on people who don't have any money.

Katherine Pancol

#55. I don't think of those things [from farting, to male on male affection, to crossdressing] as being taboo, I suppose, so it didn't strike me as, "Oh, I'm breaking boundaries and stuff ... "

Daniel Radcliffe

#56. Life isn't about gold dust farting unicorns, sugar coated mountains, and fairies. It's about fun. Romance and romance novels are for pussies and dreamers.

Scott Hildreth

#57. Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting.

David Chuka

#58. Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

P. J. O'Rourke

#59. She had her nose so high in the air she could smell the birds farting.

Ayana Mathis

#60. It was harder to ignore the smell, meat just starting to turn. And gas. The dead were quiet, very quiet in a bad way, but the sounds of escaping gas were all over. [He] was surrounded by belching and farting corpses who wanted to eat him. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking horrible.

Mason James Cole

#61. Human beings in there took turns standing or lying down. The legs of those who stood were like fence posts driven into a warm, squirming, farting, sighing earth. The queer earth was a mosaic of sleepers who nestled like spoons.

Kurt Vonnegut

#62. Castleford looked up lazily. He turned his gaze on Summerhays. "What is wrong with him, to get him all puffed up like he holds a bad wind that needs farting?" "Fate. Passion. The stupidity of life." Castleford drank some coffee. "In other words, he has fallen in love.

Madeline Hunter

#63. I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said.
I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.

Janet Evanovich

#64. MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

David Spade

#65. Manchee gets up from where he's curled and follows me. When I sit down, he recurls by my legs and falls asleep, farting happily and giving a doggy sigh. Simple to be a dog. I

Patrick Ness

#66. If you're doing a family movie, you don't want it to be stupid. Farting chihuahuas is not my idea of entertainment for kids or adults. So you try to make a movie that adults can see on one level, and kids can see on another.

Joe Dante

#67. I still see people buying and swilling terrible beer. I sometimes think that my job is like farting against a gale, but I just keep moving forward.

Michael Jackson

#68. Doping in English football is restricted to lager and baked beans with sausages. After which the players take to the field, belching and farting. English football culture is one of pure, intense competition, and that's why I have always preferred it to Italy.

Paolo Di Canio

#69. Suddenly, the gods have stopped saying yes and have started making really obnoxious farting noises. In my face. With their armpits.

Jody Gehrman

#70. My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting.

Judy Gold

#71. Like it says in the Bible, being a friend means never having to witness farting belly buttons. Or something.

Jenny Lawson

#72. I take my rucksack and go out the opening where the front door used to be. Manchee gets up from where he's curled and follows me. When I sit down, he recurls by my legs and fall asleep, farting happily and giving a doggy sigh. Simple to be a dog.

Patrick Ness

#73. However, neither occasion quite matched the levels of hilarity that ensued on the day Mr Miller sat on the corner of his desk and farted it to pieces.

Simon Pegg

#74. A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?

Roald Dahl

#75. Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.
Come let us fart in the home.
There is no art in a fart.
Still a fart may not be artless.
Let us fart and artless fart in the home.

Ernest Hemingway,

#76. A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.

Michael Bassey Johnson