Quotes About Farting

#1. Just 'cause she's farting through silk doesn't mean she can shit on people who don't have any money.

Katherine Pancol

#2. I'm too old to be farting around with stuff that isn't precisely what I want to do.

Wes Borland

#3. I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests with an imaginary dog!

Matthew Lillard

#4. He said it with this really serious look on his face, like he was in the process of farting out some really important wisdom.

Lauren Oliver

#5. He that lives upon hope will die farting.

Benjamin Franklin

#6. Come on, Trouble. Let's go before you start farting bunnies and rainbows or some shit. Luke started laughing hard, and clamped his hand over his stomach, squeezing his brown eyes almost shut.

C.L.Stone

#7. As soon as you open the door wide enough to admit pink nerve-gas-farting dragons, you have let in all of those other possibilities as well.

Neal Stephenson

#8. I find it gross to talk about bodily functions like shitting or farting or your period, if you're a girl, unless it's extremely necessary.

Riley Keough

#9. The boundaries of my world had shrunk, but I was still alive, and as long as I could go on breathing and farting and thinking my thoughts, what difference did it make where I was?

Paul Auster

#10. (My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

Tina Fey

#11. We've been an empire in decline since I can remember," Ketchum said bluntly; he wasn't kidding. "We are a lost nation, Danny. Stop farting around.

John Irving

#12. John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.

David Wong

#13. They had just digested a recent meal of prepositions and were happily farting out apostrophes and ampersands; the air was heav'y with th'em&.

Jasper Fforde

#14. Every night was a somber, adults-only slumber party - no giggles or whispers, just lots of coughing and farting and snoring and groaning, the sounds and smells of too many stressed-out of people packed into too small a place.

Tom Perrotta

#15. There is a tremendous amount of farting in prison.

Charlie Engle

#16. If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.

Demetri Martin

#17. Until woman as she is can drive this plastic spectre out of her own and her man's imagination she will continue to apologize and disguise herself, while accepting her male's pot-belly, wattles, bad breath, farting, stubble, baldness and other ugliness without complaint.

Germaine Greer

#18. We need to bring out the rabble-rousing nature of people. We are gonna need un-repression. We need hundreds of people farting up a storm. We need a big-time, old-fashioned, furious, fart storm.

Allan Dare Pearce

#19. I take my rucksack and go out the opening where the front door used to be. Manchee gets up from where he's curled and follows me. When I sit down, he recurls by my legs and fall asleep, farting happily and giving a doggy sigh. Simple to be a dog.

Patrick Ness

#20. I don't think of those things [from farting, to male on male affection, to crossdressing] as being taboo, I suppose, so it didn't strike me as, "Oh, I'm breaking boundaries and stuff ... "

Daniel Radcliffe

#21. Like it says in the Bible, being a friend means never having to witness farting belly buttons. Or something.

Jenny Lawson

#22. My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting.

Judy Gold

#23. Suddenly, the gods have stopped saying yes and have started making really obnoxious farting noises. In my face. With their armpits.

Jody Gehrman

#24. Doping in English football is restricted to lager and baked beans with sausages. After which the players take to the field, belching and farting. English football culture is one of pure, intense competition, and that's why I have always preferred it to Italy.

Paolo Di Canio

#25. I still see people buying and swilling terrible beer. I sometimes think that my job is like farting against a gale, but I just keep moving forward.

Michael Jackson

#26. However, neither occasion quite matched the levels of hilarity that ensued on the day Mr Miller sat on the corner of his desk and farted it to pieces.

Simon Pegg

#27. If you're doing a family movie, you don't want it to be stupid. Farting chihuahuas is not my idea of entertainment for kids or adults. So you try to make a movie that adults can see on one level, and kids can see on another.

Joe Dante

#28. Manchee gets up from where he's curled and follows me. When I sit down, he recurls by my legs and falls asleep, farting happily and giving a doggy sigh. Simple to be a dog. I

Patrick Ness

#29. MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

David Spade

#30. I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said.
I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.

Janet Evanovich

#31. Castleford looked up lazily. He turned his gaze on Summerhays. "What is wrong with him, to get him all puffed up like he holds a bad wind that needs farting?" "Fate. Passion. The stupidity of life." Castleford drank some coffee. "In other words, he has fallen in love.

Madeline Hunter

#32. Human beings in there took turns standing or lying down. The legs of those who stood were like fence posts driven into a warm, squirming, farting, sighing earth. The queer earth was a mosaic of sleepers who nestled like spoons.

Kurt Vonnegut

#33. It was harder to ignore the smell, meat just starting to turn. And gas. The dead were quiet, very quiet in a bad way, but the sounds of escaping gas were all over. [He] was surrounded by belching and farting corpses who wanted to eat him. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking horrible.

Mason James Cole

#34. She had her nose so high in the air she could smell the birds farting.

Ayana Mathis

#35. Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

P. J. O'Rourke

#36. Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting.

David Chuka

#37. Hitler suffered acutely from meteorism; perhaps he did not suffer so acutely as those around him, since meteorism is uncontrolled farting, a condition exacerbated by Hitler's strictly vegetarian diet.

A. N. Wilson

#38. Life isn't about gold dust farting unicorns, sugar coated mountains, and fairies. It's about fun. Romance and romance novels are for pussies and dreamers.

Scott Hildreth

#39. I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl.

Gemma Halliday

#40. Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.

Kevin Hart

#41. Of course I think it's a movie for everybody [Insane Farting Corpse], but that's probably just because it's a movie for me.

Paul Dano

#42. While the churches, bringing the sweet smell of piety for the soul, came in prancing and farting like brewery horses in bock-beer time, the sister evangelism, with release and joy for the body, crept in.
silently and greyly, with its head bowed and its face covered.

John Steinbeck

#43. A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?

Roald Dahl

#44. My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog.

Alex O'Loughlin

#45. Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins that may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days like a broken man behind a farting camel.

Hafez

#46. We were supposed to be brainstorming. But, unfortunately, my brain was farting.

Rachel Renee Russell

#47. I used to be a folk singer, but I was ... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog. And being a folk singer doesn't make you attractive to women.

Billy Connolly

#48. And don't put a bunch of bullshit in my mouth, or get cute and try to make me look stupid. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the salon to have my pubic hair straightened and dyed white so that my dick looks like Santa Claus." He closed the door, farting loudly all the way to his car. I went

David Wong

#49. Fame - fame was the anti-death. But it seemed to slither from his grasp, seemed to giggle and retreat, seemed to hide behind a huge oak tree and make farting sounds with its hands.

Keith Gessen

#50. It's a really hard movie [Insane Farting Corpse] to do a Q&A for, as well. The audience is still kind of reeling and being like, "I don't know what to ask."

Daniel Radcliffe

#51. You're walking around as though everyone is farting roses and pissing champagne. What's up?

Samantha Young

#52. Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Graham Norton

#53. Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

Ryan Hansen

#54. And Father's fondness for talking about farting and going to the bathroom is disgusting.

Anne Frank

#55. Nothing is more conspicuous than a farting princess.

Jack Vance

#56. ... "shagging" - a quasi-comical activity, like belching or farting, except it was more taboo and more necessary than these.

Amit Chaudhuri

#57. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

James Joyce

#58. I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts.
Let's not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of life. Squeezing out big plumes of noxious gas doesn't always smell good, but it generally feels might fine.

Neil Pasricha

#59. I tapped on the door, with all the power of a farting flea.

Gavin Extence

#60. Reading the script [Insane Farting Corpse], by page two or three, I felt that way. I thought, I'm in. It was so beautiful and insane and funny and I wanted to see it happen.

Paul Dano

#61. Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.
Come let us fart in the home.
There is no art in a fart.
Still a fart may not be artless.
Let us fart and artless fart in the home.

Ernest Hemingway,

#62. Let's shake hands and be friends, but please, I beg you, stop farting like that, becuase I'm beinning to hallucinate and in my dreams I see Comrade Josepg Stalin doing the charleston.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

#63. A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.

Michael Bassey Johnson

#64. He tolerated his fellow Englishmen, but the Welsh were cabbage-farting dwarves, the Scots were scabby arse-suckers, and the French were shriveled turds.

Bernard Cornwell

#65. I suppose the difference between baby people and me is that I do not consider smiling while farting 'holding up your end of a conversation.

Lizz Winstead

#66. In his autobiography Stravinsky relates that the first music he remembers was made by a peasant, working his hand in his armpit to produce a rhytmic farting.

Craig Raine

#67. I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.

Tina Fey

#68. Farting, don't think, just fart.

John Cage

#69. A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

Jenny Eclair

#70. Acting has been described as farting about in disguise.

Peter O'Toole

#71. Oi, doll, ignore him,' said Sia, using a notebook to fan her face. 'Sweet lord, I'm like a human hot-water bottle wrapped in doona in front of a heater at the moment. And did I tell you about the constant farting?

Gabrielle Tozer

#72. I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum.

Anthony Langston

#73. Teeth. What god-damned things they were. We had to eat. And eat and eat again. We were all disgusting, doomed to our dirty little tasks. Eating and farting and scratching and smiling and celebrating holidays.

Charles Bukowski

#74. But," she said to the priest, "I'm not dead yet. I've heard the angels farting on the ceiling.

Jean Genet

#75. On My First Driving Lesson First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell? ... Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that's not moving makes you an asshole.

Justin Halpern

#76. Choosing to have a child you can't take care of is like farting in an elevator. Sure you got it out, but not it's everyone else's problem.

Richard Jeni