Quotes About Certificate

#1. I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.

Victoria Wood

#2. I think if a physician wrote on a death certificate that old age was the cause of death, he'd be thrown out of the union. There is always some final event, some failure of an organ, some last attack of pneumonia, that finishes off a life. No one dies of old age.

George Wald

#3. If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go -within 10 minutes - to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate and I can go, 'See? Look! Here it is. Here it is.'

Luke Scott

#4. It would be beautiful to photograph the winners of everything from Nobel to booby prize, clutching trophy, or money or certificate, solemn or smiling or tear stained or bloody, on the precarious pinnacle of the human landscape.

Diane Arbus

#5. I reached a time in college when I didn't know what I wanted to do. At that time, women's careers were essentially nursing, secretarial and teaching. My mother advised me to get my teacher's certificate.

Kay Granger

#6. I mean, if someone asked for my birth certificate, I'd get my baby book and hand it out and say 'Here it is.'

Vicky Hartzler

#7. President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.

Craig Ferguson

#8. It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

Hector Hugh Munro

#9. You don't need to see my birth certificate, or my college records, or my legal writings, or ... anything.

Barack Obama

#10. The umlaut isn't on my birth certificate. I had this book as a child called Chloe and Maude, and there was an umlaut on the e, and I said, I want that! It's a little flair. Just to confuse people even more.

Chloe Sevigny

#11. Suicide is what the death certificate says when one dies of depression.

Peter D. Kramer

#12. All of us are mad and then she adds,smiling, but I'm the only one with a certificate to prove it

Alexandra Fuller

#13. If we could have any security against moods! If the profoundest prophet could be holden to his words, and the hearer who is readyto sell all and join the crusade, could have any certificate that to-morrow his prophet shall not unsay his testimony!

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#14. You don't need an MBA, a certificate, a fancy suit, a briefcase, or an above-average tolerance for risk. You just need an idea, a touch of confidence, and a push to get started.

Jason Fried

#15. I was fortunate enough to be an American citizen by birth and I have the birth certificate to prove it.

Raul Labrador

#16. Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a 'Wifer' but for some reason he's never shown his original marriage certificate.

Bill Maher

#17. Next is a box of truffles from Godiva and then a gift certificate from Victoria's Secret for an unknown amount. It's made out to my boobs, which Alex officially asks on a date.

Helena Hunting

#18. I got a gerontology certificate a million years ago along with my law degree, so I've been interested in older people for many years. Some people grow up with a lot of kids around, but I just grew up with a lot of old people.

Elizabeth Strout

#19. Even Obama's staunchest supporters are starting to leave him. Last week Michelle Obama demanded to see a copy of his birth certificate.

Ann Coulter

#20. John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go.

David Letterman

#21. She dropped the matter, and his birthday remained May 28. Armed with the Social Security card, the birth certificate, and the letter from Principal Simpson of the Briarcrest Christian School, they drove the next day to the Department of Motor Vehicles. This time they had Collins in tow. Collins

Michael Lewis

#22. I found a copy of Leven's birth certificate and was surprised to see his birth name listed as E. Leven Thumps. I assume the E. stands for Elton, and I have no idea why they didnt spell it out, but it's intresting to think that it took exactly eleven whacks or thumps to down the oldest tree.

Obert Skye

#23. Did you see my ninja move?That was fast, right?"
"You are not a ninja, Shane."
"I've watched all the movies. I just haven't gotten the certificate from the correspondence course yet.

Rachel Caine

#24. Now I have something. In fact, I have posted on the Internet more than Obama has. My birth certificate actually has signatures.

Orly Taitz

#25. I want a certificate that allows me to make as big a box office as possible.

Ridley Scott

#26. Reading is such a personal thing to me. I'd much rather give someone a gift certificate to a bookstore, and let that person choose his or her own books.

Erik Larson

#27. What do Obama and God have in common? Neither has a birth certificate. How do they differ? God does not think he's Obama.

Rush Limbaugh

#28. And let's all be honest here; more of us believe in the American hero Sheriff Joe Arpaio's thorough investigation into your phony birth certificate and phony history than the phony media's smoke and mirrors.

Ted Nugent

#29. I am always looking for ways our government can help make everyday life easier for Ontarians, and these new polymer birth certificates do just that. Having a safe and durable birth certificate will provide more security and help protect people from fraud and identify theft.

Kathleen Wynne

#30. I've always wondered why women are expected to deny their true age. Why? To be a woman of 50 and up is a badge of triumph - a hard-earned certificate that says you survived the shallowness, the violence, the meanness, and the caprice of a male-dominated society without losing your mind!

Psyche Roxas-Mendoza

#31. We are making sure that the courses we offer at MITx and HarvardX are quintessential MIT and Harvard courses. They are not watered down. They are not MIT Lite or Harvard Lite. These are hard courses. These are the exact same courses, so the certificate will mean something.

Anant Agarwal

#32. The only name on my birth certificate was Henley, no first name.

Rickey Henderson

#33. Nowhere on your birth certificate did it say life would be fair

Trevor Jones

#34. Every sect is a certificate that God has not plainly revealed his will to man. To each reader the Bible conveys a different meaning.

Robert Green Ingersoll

#35. The birth certificate of the royal baby lists her parents' occupations as being 'the prince and princess of the United Kingdom.' It says that under occupation, which I guess sounds better than 'unemployed.'

Conan O'Brien

#36. Make yourself useful to others by keeping yourself healthy and happy, and any certificate is no guarantee to that

Hlovate

#37. Growing older is a blurred birth certificate that only can take us to this world's perplexed journey, but it cannot smear the letters of the epitaph

Munia Khan

#38. I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.

Bill Maher

#39. I'm Ready to Die without a Reasonable Doubt
Smoke Chronic and hit it Doggystyle before I go out.
Until they sign my Death Certificate, All Eyez on Me
I'm still at it, Illmatic, and that's The Documentary.

Jayceon Terrell Taylor

#40. Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.

Conan O'Brien

#41. Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate.

David Letterman

#42. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.

Steven Wright

#43. Why she hankered to be a teacher, I couldn't tell you. But she had chalk dust in her veins, and she deserved to get that certificate. It was only fair.

Richard Peck

#44. I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.

Ronnie Shakes

#45. I'm supposed to talk some sense into you," she told me. "But what I really want to say is congratulations. You did the right thing." "The police don't think so." "Typical," she clucked. "Getting hung up on the numbers on your birth certificate when you probably saved a life." "They made

Gordon Korman

#46. I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.

Les Dawson

#47. The three most important documents a free society gives are a birth certificate, a passport, and a library card.

E.L. Doctorow

#48. Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

Erma Bombeck

#49. No matter what his birth certificate said or didn't say, he was Billy Dent's son.

Barry Lyga

#50. We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.

David Letterman

#51. Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friends call it.

Jenny Offill

#52. I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.

George Carlin

#53. My stepmother sold my birth certificate and someone asked why I didn't buy it back. I don't know, really. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was mine. It cost me nothing and suddenly I had to buy it back.

Paul McCartney

#54. What does it feel like to be latent?
I don't know. What does it feel like to be so old that your birth certificate is in Roman numerals?

Suzanne Wrightt

#55. No man or woman in this dispensation will ever enter into the celestial kingdom of God without the consent of Joseph Smith ... every man and woman must have the certificate of Joseph Smith, junior, as a passport to their entrance into the mansion where God and Christ are

Brigham Young

#56. You have all these people in the city and everything has become centralized. If you live outside the city and you need a birth certificate or some official paper from the government, you have to travel to the city.

Edwidge Danticat

#57. My friends asked me to be a reverend at their wedding in France a few years ago. I went on the Internet, and within 15 seconds, I was printing out a certificate which allowed me to officiate at their wedding.

Lucy Punch

#58. There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.

Barack Obama

#59. President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'

David Letterman

#60. Are we Pakistanis, children of a lesser God? Is there one law for the west and one for us? Is our democracy supposed to be only democracy if you give us a no objection certificate?

Imran Khan

#61. There are no such words like "over-dreaming" or dreaming without "biometric verification". You can dream over and over again! You don't need a certificate to dream big!

Israelmore Ayivor

#62. People should be _very_ careful when choosing the future fathers and mothers of their children. For that reason alone, it is extremely mean to demand a marriage certificate for life, just for one night of embracement.

Wilhelm Reich

#63. Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.

David Letterman

#64. My recollection of the higher school certificate, which involved a practical exam in physics, was being confronted with an experiment involving a sort of barometer arrangement, wondering why I couldn't make it work.

Peter Higgs

#65. Dear GIRLS your very own identity is more important than a marriage certificate.

Amit Abraham

#66. Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.

Jay Leno

#67. In a Cafe
I watched a man in a cafe fold a slice of bread as if he were folding a birth certificate or looking at the photograph of a dead lover.

Richard Brautigan

#68. I was married once
in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

W.C. Fields

#69. I used all diligence to arrive at London and therefore I now gave my crew a certificate under my hand, of my free and willing return, without persuasion or force by any one or more of them.

Henry Hudson

#70. One did not walk around the town with one's birth certificate stuck on one's back; why then should clothes have their labels on the outside? It was a very vulgar display, she felt,

Alexander McCall Smith

#71. I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

Milton Berle

#72. Merely presenting a driver's license or other document based on a birth certificate is not enough for an accurate verification. Biometric verification of identity must be made and then a data base of those persons who have legal status must be checked.

Bob Dole

#73. Right here, in this same headquarters, 52 years ago, the Convention that gave the birth certificate to the war on drugs was approved

Juan Manuel Santos

#74. My mother desperately wanted children. She had a child that was stillborn - something I learned when I was looking through her 'effects' after she had died. It was then that I discovered my original birth certificate, which indicated the previous birth.

Stanley Hauerwas

#75. I've been to many beauty salons. No one gave me a certificate.

Ljupka Cvetanova

#76. A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate.

Donald Trump

#77. Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.

Sara Gruen

#78. It is also important to remember that no state in the United States requires a homeschooling parent to have a public school teaching certificate, just as many private schools do not require one (though some, such as Montessori and Waldorf, require teacher training in their unique programs). The

Patrick Farenga

#79. A great deal of capital, which appears to-day in the United States without any certificate of birth, was yesterday, in England, the capitalised blood of children.

Karl Marx

#80. I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country.

Andy Kindler

#81. I have a very vibrant imposter syndrome that goes on throughout most of my life, but nothing more than when someone has to put a hat on me or some kind of sash and go, 'We're giving you this certificate.'

Robin Ince

#82. Thomas remembered the image of the Cranks at the windows back at the dorm. Like living nightmares, missing only a death certificate to make them official zombies.

James Dashner

#83. Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous.

Conan O'Brien

#84. When a man teaches something he does not know to somebody else who has no aptitude for it, and gives him a certificate of proficiency, the latter has completed the education of a gentleman.

George Bernard Shaw

#85. your death certificate makes the claim that you died on november 3rd at 3:03 AM. that is a lie. you died long before that. - 3 isn't my lucky number anymore.

Amanda Lovelace

#86. I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

Milton Berle

#87. A change in paperwork [birth certificate] can't erase words stamped on the human heart.

Charles Martin

#88. Olson's Maximus and Zukofsky's 'A' are too symbolically and verbally complex, respectively, to command large audiences especially in an age when a college degree is becoming a certificate of illiteracy.

Guy Davenport

#89. Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair.

Jimmy Fallon

#90. The essence of education is not to get a certificate or job but, to be a holistically developed person who can positively impact the society.

Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha

#91. Obtaining a certificate in nursing assistant trains students to provide quality care to residents in nursing homes.

Cassie Brode

#92. Trump is running for president and he's wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush's birth certificate.

Jimmy Fallon

#93. and after she went, Dalton didn't last long. His death certificate listed heart failure as the cause, but Owen Gray knew it had been loneliness and grief. After

James Thayer

#94. Anyone can get a degree or a certificate in something. Big deal. A piece of paper from a university somewhere doesn't define a person. It won't tell you who I am.

Rachel Gibson

#95. Gender data is important. If girls don't have a birth certificate, how do we know how many are marrying as children?

Kathy Calvin

#96. Good Morning, Sunshine! Josh F**king Bennett. By now, I'm pretty sure that if I were to find his birth certificate that is exactly what it would say.

Katja Millay

#97. This is all my identification, my birth certificate, my everything. You can be Shannon McFarland from now on. My career. The ninety-degree attention. It's yours. All of it. Everything. I hope it's enough for you. It's everything I have left.

Chuck Palahniuk

#98. I'm trained as a teacher; that's the only thing I've got a certificate for.

Quentin Blake

#99. if he knew how upset I was for opening my big fat mouth. "I'm sorry about what happened in there. I shouldn't have told Mama about Joseph Theodore Page being on Ted's birth certificate, but she

Maggie Toussaint

#100. There was some indecision as to when I was born. My sister said it was 1916. I'd lost my birth certificate.

Michael Gough