Top 100 Pun Quotes
#1. I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog?
Vladimir Nabokov
#2. Standing, I turned to face my father. "It's the same as the scent on Moore. It's definitely a foreign cat, but it's ... more, somehow." Ethan snickered at my unintentional pun, but I ignored him.
Rachel Vincent
#3. In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot.
Arthur Koestler
#4. There's a lot of me in Captain Jack and there's a lot of Captain Jack in me. And there is no pun intended.
John Barrowman
#5. I'd like my super power to be puns; I'd like to be great at puns: pun power. Then I could go on loads of panel shows and live off that forever.
Chris O'Dowd
#6. Red?" I asked.
"I've decided I'm going to call you Red from now on."
"All right, I'll bite - no pun intended. Why?"
He snickered in a very masculine way and lowered his voice. "'Cause I like the idea of the big bad wolf visiting you and Grandma.
Linda Robertson
#7. In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh ... ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]
Rick Riordan
#8. A pun, like champagne, loses its sparkle when too long drawn out. Its flash is its savor.
Harriet Hosmer
#9. I feel like America would enjoy this pun about me... and closets.
Kelly Thompson
#10. My dominant (no pun intended) discourse seems to be needy as fuck.
Alexis Hall
#11. It is. If it's too late for me ... Well, I'll be damned - no pun intended - if I'll let them keep you out, too.
Stephenie Meyer
#12. God knows why - no pun intended - but every time I write a song, I feel a need to touch on religion.
Martin Gore
#13. We're all well-acquainted with depression, we all know what the low moods are, but the mania was not something I knew much about. I didn't know that it would make someone dress extravagantly or start to pun, and to stay up and drink.
Jeffrey Eugenides
#15. You know, being bitten by a vampire one week before prom really sucks.
No pun intended.
Mari Mancusi
#16. In Men in Black, it was a very small character, no pun intended.
Verne Troyer
#17. If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.
Tim Vine
#18. What I'm going for with the string arrangements for my Antarctic symphony is a pun here.
DJ Spooky
#19. A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.
Charles Lamb
#20. 'Nip/Tuck' did make me very comfortable in my own skin, no pun intended. I had to be stripped down a lot, and you're kind of in front of the whole world, and it teaches you to accept yourself and be comfortable with yourself real quickly.
Kelly Carlson
#21. It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.
Arthur Baer
#22. Apollo is hot, no pun intended.
Courtney
#23. The Good and Great must ever shun
That reckless and abandoned one
Who stoops to perpetrate a pun.
Lewis Carroll
#24. Human beings are more or less formulas. Pun intended. We are not any one thing that is mathematically provable. We are more or less than we are anything. We are more or less kind, or more or less not. More or less selfish, happy, wise, lonely.
Adi Alsaid
#25. While sitting on the hopper, in a blissful state of belieflessness, the Universe sent me this silly pun: Arrogant know-it-alls actually know nothing,
while humble know-nothings seem to know everything...
Maximus Freeman
#28. My poetic aspiration
Is to become,
A Jack of all styles
And a master of pun.
Clive Blake
#29. I think the play actually became bigger than me. No pun intended.
Camryn Manheim
#30. Do what? Come up with a clever pun referencing Jerome's demonic status? The truth is, I usually keep a stash of them on hand and -
Richelle Mead
#31. You set, Bones?"
"Ouch," McCoy said. "I assume that pun was meant to make me feel better, or else accidental.
Diane Duane
#32. Every poet knows the pun is Pierian, that it springs from the same soil as the Muse?a matching and shifting of vowels and consonants, an adroit assonance sometimes derided as jackassonance.
Louis Untermeyer
#33. I was supposed to watch you, yeah. They thought it was weird that Atherton would send his own kid to Hecate, so we wanted to keep an eye on you. No pun intended. (Archer)
Rachel Hawkins
#34. A pun, though despicable in itself, can be the noblest vehicle of an artistic intention by serving as the abbreviation of a wittyview. It can be a social criticism in the form of an epigram.
Karl Kraus
#35. Religion is the theological equivalent of a quick-buck insurance scam, where you pay in your premium year after year, and then, when you need the benefits you paid for so - pardon the pun - so religiously, you discover the company that took your money does not, in fact, exist.
Stephen King
#36. A good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.
James Boswell
#38. A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
#39. I was confident, but I still loved a good stroking. Pun one hundred percent abso-fucking-lutely intended.
Laurel Ulen Curtis
#40. I never read Freud. I've never been attracted to anything he has said, and I think he's started a lot of nonsense with psychiatry and that business. I don't think psychiatry can help or has helped anybody. I think it's a big fraud (pun not intended) on the public.
Bob Dylan
#41. They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.
Ryan North
#42. Putting your hands in the earth is very grounding, if you'll excuse the pun.
John Glover
#43. The pun is the dung of the mind which soars. The jest falls, no matter where; and the mind after producing a piece of stupidity plunges into the azure depths.
Victor Hugo
#44. The greatest irony is that people with Rolodexes are no longer LinkedIn. And if that pun doesn't make sense, don't ask anyone in your Rolodex to explain it.
Ryan Lilly
#45. The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.
Arthur Smith
#46. Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire
Ambrose Bierce
#47. Alice, it took big, dumb Talon Dodo thirty seconds to get you so pissed about a poker hand pun that you were about to beat him to death with your cane.
Elle Lothlorien
#48. Actually touring solo is a little more difficult. It's more demanding than being under the "wing" of the band, no pun intended. It's more intimidating to sing in front of smaller crowds. The buck stops with me.
Timothy B. Schmit
#49. I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.
Cassandra Clare
#50. Also not the kind of place to hide a server."
"Is that another pun?" She asked.
"No! I swear! I didn't mean that one."
~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5
Ridley Pearson
#51. Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.
Jack Benny
#52. For one thing, I don't pun excessively in real life.
Tim Vine
#53. It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, 'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.
Lewis Carroll
#54. I think baseball - the baseball genre - is this mitt, to use a double pun there, to catch a whole bunch of themes.
Rachel Griffiths
#55. The old Monophysite sect declared that Christ had only the one divine nature. The new Monophysite sect declares that He had only the one human nature. But it is not a pun or a trick, but a truth, to say that the Monophysite is by nature monotonous.
G.K. Chesterton
#57. Biggie and Big Pun were the best storytellers of the '90s. I would get wrapped up in the narrative of what they were talking about.
Lin-Manuel Miranda
#58. But things were different now. I finally had my head -pun intended- on straight.
Meg Cabot
#59. John Cusack and I have been friends since childhood, and the fact that we're in so many films together is, no pun intended, serendipitous.
Jeremy Piven
#60. Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education.
Ben Aaronovitch
#61. Just as the witticism brings two very different real objects under one concept, the pun brings two different concepts, by the assistance of accident, under one word.
Arthur Schopenhauer
#62. You're just gonna create somebody who is, I was gonna say, 'toying with his sexuality.' Pardon the pun.
Christine O'Donnell
#63. The man [Donald Trump] seems to out-trump himself - no pun intended - every time he speaks in his bid to win the Republican nomination.
Corri Wilson
#64. I'd done an Edinburgh show before, in 1981, called 'The Importance of Being Varnished' - I was in the pun trade at the time.
Rory Bremner
#66. In my case, I belong to a group of aspiring and practicing biographers in Boston. We meet once a month for a coupla hours. It's become my lifeline - forgive the pun.
Nigel Hamilton
#67. Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.
Eoin Colfer
#68. I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really is the highest form of humor.
Karin Slaughter
#69. Nietzsche had the Latin pun aut liberi, aut libri - either children or books, both information that carries through the centuries.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
#70. They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank discussions. And Shirley can join too because the pun works. The ideas of human beings of all demeanor and venues are at stake here.
Leviak B. Kelly
#71. The Admiral Fell Inn? It's the only hotel nearby that's a pun; of course you headed there.
Abigail Roux
#72. Of course they had more chains on him than Scrooge saw on Marley's ghost, but he could have kicked up dickens if he'd wanted. That's a pun, son.
Stephen King
#73. Quote taken from Chapter 1:
A grave matter has just arisen." Etta hadn't intended to make the pun. She went on. "It's a problem right up your alley.
Ed Lynskey
#74. I was in my element, excuse the pun.
Adele Rose
#75. Far be it from me to insult the pun! I honor it in proportion to its merits; nothing more. All the most august, the most sublime, the most charming of humanity, and perhaps outside of humanity, have made puns.
Victor Hugo
#76. Even though there will be times when I'll need to protect myself - there will definitely be times when I'll have to put up my guard just to monitor what comes in and out of my life - there's a grace there ... no pun intended!
Grace Gealey
#77. The Greek makes the distinction between petros and petra simply because it is trying to preserve the pun, and in Greek the feminine petra could not very well serve as a masculine name.
Frank E. Gaebelein
#78. I feel that I am entitled to trample all other considerations into the dirt in my pursuit of a satisfying pun.
Neal Stephenson
#79. Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I move.
Arthur Smith
#80. I'm shameless, and I love a pun. There's a lot of Beth puns.
Beth Ditto
#81. As Tolkien points out, the name is "a pleasantly ingenious pun," referring to those who "dabble in ink." It also suggests people "with vague or half-formed intimations and ideas.
Diana Pavlac Glyer
#82. I was obsessed with country music when I was a kid, and it's definitely had a huge influence on the way I write songs. I was always attracted to songs that had a brilliant pun or a clever turn of phrase, but came from a dark, bitter place. As a writer, I've always gravitated towards that feeling.
Teddy Thompson
#83. Los vampiros," she whispered.
"Oh God, not the bloody vampires again," said Magnus. "No pun intended.
Cassandra Clare
#84. You forgot to cross off anal sex."
"I tried it once. Didn't like it. If you're better at it, I'll have another crack." I paused. "No pun intended.
C.D. Reiss
#85. Having inched closer and accomplished some of my major goals in the sport of golf, no pun intended, why not work as hard as I can to attain those goals if I'm already feeling like I'm playing well and getting more and more comfortable.
Jordan Spieth
#86. I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.
Stephan Pastis
#87. Always say 'no pun intended' to draw attention to the intended pun.
Teju Cole
#88. There's something that intervenes and is very important which has to do with value. Value in the true biological sense, which is that contrary to what many people seem to think, taking it at face value - sorry for the pun - we do not give the same amount of emotional significance to every event.
Antonio Damasio
#89. I don't like the taste it leaves in my mouth. ... Besides, OJ tastes better.
Is that supposed to be a pun? If so, I'm telling on you.
Fawn Routson
#90. We are defined by what we believe in. Identity is shaped by what we believe is right. Culture is cultured, pun intended; by what we believe is right.
Hlovate
#91. Hmm, I wondered as I knocked on Stephan's door, would you call a mischievous young ghoul? A ghouligan? I snorted at my own pun. I cracked myself up.
Elizabeth A. Reeves
#92. Taking the time to polish a pun or fine-tune a practical joke is a way of saying, 'I'm thinking about you and I want to please you.'
Andrew Hudgins
#93. Obviously I struck gold with 'Deadwood.' No pun intended.
Jim Beaver
#94. A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it first.
Oscar Levant
#95. A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
Doug Larson
#96. If you're truly psychedelic the difference between living and dying is quite immaterial. No pun intended.
Terence McKenna
#97. One of my favourite things about country music is that, at least until recently, you could always count on a solid story, a punchline and a pun. I think it has that in common with hip hop, where they're not afraid of wordplay and I really appreciate that.
St. Vincent
#98. The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.
Edgar Allan Poe
#99. It requires genius to make a good pun - some men of bright parts can't reach it.
Hannah Cowley
#100. I'll pun him so many puns that even his arrogance will finally be expunged.
Raymond Queneau
