Most Hilarious Quotes

#1. Honestly, my dating life according to the tabloids is very exciting, and the most hilarious thing is that it's nowhere near as exciting as the tabloids have ever made it out to be.

Margot Robbie

#2. Are you afraid I won't respect you in the morning?" She grinned up at him. "Morning?" He laughed as if she'd told the most hilarious joke. "You'll be lucky to last an hour.

Tiffany Reisz

#3. Anyway, it struck me now in a different light, as being yet another bit of personal meaning which had ben taken from me, stripped off like clothes I'd only borrowed or stolen. I had maybe the least persuasive case for self-pity of any human soul on the planet. Or anyway, the most hilarious.

Jonathan Lethem

#4. The most hilarious person ever is God

Alzenati Zenati

#5. Writing 'We Are Never Getting Back Together' was one of the most hilarious experiences I have ever had in the studio because it just happened so naturally.

Taylor Swift

#6. Guston tacked toward celebrating the crap of life not for its own ironic sake, but as the ever-present still life that surrounds the embarrassingly, even tragically human. No Duchampian object is ever tragic. Many if not most of Guston's objects, even the most hilarious, are.

Ross Feld

#7. Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.

Arthur Smith

#8. It's hilarious a lot of times. You have a conversation with someone, and he's like, 'You speak so well!' I'm like, 'What do you mean? Do you understand that's an insult?

Jay-Z

#9. Forgive me. I continue to underestimate the breadth of your ignorance.

Ransom Riggs

#10. There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do.

Amy Poehler

#11. I totally consider Fishbowl my full time job - I have to say I freaking love doing this blog. I just enjoy the medium so much; I love the fact that it requires me to read amazing stuff by hilarious and talented people and forces me to know what's going on in the world.

Rachel Sklar

#12. I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

Dave Matthes

#13. This Syrian circus/crisis we are going through is hilarious ... It's like watching some thug killing another person and asking him for his bullets but releasing him free.

Ziad K. Abdelnour

#14. Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.

Cassandra Clare

#15. In person, if possible, Anubis was even more drop-dead gorgeous. [Oh ... ha, ha. I didn't catch the pun, but thank you, Carter. God of the dead, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes, hilarious. Now, may I continue?]

Rick Riordan

#16. A vibrator can last all night, too, vampire! - Denise

Jeaniene Frost

#17. Michael Buble is seriously my favorite entertainer. Have you ever seen the guy in concert? He's hilarious. Women love him. Guys want to meet him. He has everything that I wish I could do onstage. And I'm guessin' he's a good-lookin' guy - although he's not one of 'People' magazine's sexiest men.

Blake Shelton

#18. I'd sooner go through with a pregnancy than spend a night alone in my house knowing there was a snake in the yard.

Chelsea Handler

#19. That was what made them so hilarious and unafraid. That was the strength of the Nazis. [ ... ] They understood God better than anyone. They knew how to make Him stay away.

Kurt Vonnegut

#20. You will find this hard to believe, but I've never laughed as much as I did when I was a corporate lawyer. When you're working 16 hours a day for months at a time, you get punchy. Everything and everyone seems hilarious.

Susan Cain

#21. This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid.

Russell Crowe

#22. Like something happened to Preppy. That wasn't your fault, dick slick. It was mine. I literally couldn't dodge that bullet. See what I did there? Oh my shit I'm hilarious.

T.M. Frazier

#23. If you walk into my wardrobe, it's kind of hilarious. It's a sea of black.

Tabatha Coffey

#24. This is hilarious. First, people say how so many actresses in Hollywood look anorexic, and now they are criticizing me for looking normal. Body images are too often adopted by young girls and women - thanks to what they are constantly being shown as being attractive.

Jennifer Lawrence

#25. Son of a motherfucking, ass-reaming, shit-eating, hell-dodging soulless bitch!

Rachel Vincent

#26. Immensely clever and libidinously hilarious.The most astonishing thing about Love in a Dead Language is its ingenious construction. Insofar as any printed volume can lay claim to being a multimedia work, this book earns that distinction.

Paul Di Filippo

#27. Breezy, sophisticated, hilarious, rude and aching with sweetness: LOVE, NINA might be the most charming book I've ever read.

Maria Semple

#28. Justin Timberlake is the single most talented human being I've ever met in my life, and it sickens me. He is, like, 12 years old or something! He has 0 percent body fat, he is musically gifted, he has a great ear for accents, and he is hilarious.

Mike Myers

#29. His father had always said, Son, the most important thing in life is to make a contribution. Who would have thought Kittridge's contribution would be video-blogging from the front lines of the apocalypse?

Justin Cronin

#30. Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has.

Will Smith

#31. If you're not fascinated by Korea yet, you damn well should be. The most innovative country on earth deserves a hilarious and poignant account on the order of Euny Hong's The Birth of Korean Cool. Her phat beats got Gangnam Style and then some.

Gary Shteyngart

#32. Daddy was hilarious. He could take the most mundane event and tell it so that we all on the floor laughing. He trained me in the joys of humor.

Karen DeCrow

#33. There's comedy in tragedy, and tragedy in comedy. There's always light and dark in most jobs. Whether it's framed as a comedy, drama or tragedy, you try to mix it up within that. You can work on a comedy and it's not laugh-a-minute off set. You can work on a tragedy that's absolutely hilarious.

Harry Treadaway

#34. It's hilarious, because my guitar has what's known as a tremolo bar or a whammy bar. And the whammy bar is probably the most alien thing on my guitar that could possibly relate to a classical guitar.

Steve Vai

#35. Lord John: 'The court has suffered most sorely for your absence. We hardly know where to find our amusement now.'
Lady Nora: 'I am sorry to hear that, I suppose it takes some wit to produce one's own entertainment. Are you often bored?

Meredith Duran

#36. I think there's something very lovely and hilarious about exploring the particular neuroses of the female mind. It's just not the same thing with men. I mean, there are exceptions, but for the most part, women beat themselves up in their heads more. They overanalyze stuff far more than men do.

Lizzy Caplan

#37. ( ... ) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it's not cool like the Bat signal.

Keary Taylor

#38. Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be hilarious. Man, I really hope the internet sticks around so people can reference this article in my obituaries and see that what sounds like a joke was actually amazingly prescient.

Jason Sudeikis

#39. I've seen people who are not very likeable but hilarious. I think comedians get to a point where they know they're funny, so they don't care - in the sense that they know what they're doing. They have a skill.

Ted Alexandro

#40. I think god gave us talent because he screwed up our hair

Dolly Parton

#41. It's often hilarious to me that I'm writing about Tonga or some tropical place and there's a blizzard outside and the cows are on their backs with their hooves in the air.

Tim Cahill

#42. But you have so much in common. You're both from strange little backwater planets. You both have odd powers. You're male and she's female. What more do you need? Believe me, buddy, if I were you, I'd go right up there and ask her if she wants to ride on my rancor.

Dave Wolverton

#43. I don't lack for bed partners, so I don't need to scrounge for unwilling scraps.-Spade

Jeaniene Frost

#44. There are only so many hilarious actors so when they cross-pollinate, people assume it's always the same actors and directors.

Judd Apatow

#45. My dearest Pudding pie" I read aloud.
"Yes, my little turnip?"
"Hilarious," I muttered. "If you ever call me anything of the sort again we shall have words.

Jordan L. Hawk

#46. - Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!

Bryanna Reid

#47. Will you show me what you really look like? You don't sparkle, do you?

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#48. I was a huge fan of 'Arrested Development,' and there's just something it tickles in me and it's bright and it's hilarious.

Keri Russell

#49. Sometimes things need shaking up. You've got to test the limits.

Lindsey Kelk

#50. The world disappoints us all, and the ways we change our own stories to survive that disappointment are beautiful and tragic and hilarious.

Daniel Abraham

#51. Travel Etiquette: When dealing with foreigners, pretend you are Canadian.

Chelsea Handler

#52. Kids are flat-out freaking hilarious if you are paying attention. Not just my kid, but every kid.

Dan Alatorre

#53. Oh, my God!" Ignatius bellowed from the front of the house. "What an egregious insult to good taste.

John Kennedy Toole

#54. Michael, don't," Eve said. "He won't hurt us." Andeveryone rolled their eyes at that. Even Jason, which was borderline hilarious.

Rachel Caine

#55. Anybody wants to call me the Triple H of Ring of Honor, I think that's hilarious. I would prefer to call Triple H the CM Punk of the WWE

CM Punk

#56. Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn't that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant

#57. It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world. ... unless you like sick humour."
"The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.

Bill Watterson

#58. The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

Jo Brand

#59. I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region.

Rainbow Rowell

#60. I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.

Chris Kattan

#61. Forget I ever referred to my mother and screwing in the same sentence. That's just ... wrong. On so many levels.

Emma Chase

#62. Like a lot of people, I've always enjoyed commenting on strangers' outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people's hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better.

Demetri Martin

#63. I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh.

Chris Bauer

#64. Young love is so ridiculous, as is middle-aged and old love. And it's also hilarious. When have you ever felt so vulnerable and wonderful and terrible at the same time?

Grace Helbig

#65. Let's pray that the human race never escapes Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.

C.S. Lewis

#66. Damn it! I knew she was a monster! John! Amy! Listen! Guard your buttholes.

David Wong