Top 77 Making Jokes Quotes
#1. Gladstone, how sad do you have to get before you stop making jokes?
Wayne Gladstone
#2. Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people.
Conan O'Brien
#3. How can a man live without drinking water? How can a man live without breathing air? How can a man live without making jokes?
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#4. As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything.
Joan Rivers
#5. You play tough guy, making jokes to hide the anger you feel in your heart because they were taken from you, the men responsible never found.
Charlie Cochet
#6. For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.
Jim Gaffigan
#7. I heard some interesting things about your performance up here."
"I hear interesting things about your 'performance' all the time Doug, but you don't hear me making jokes about it.
Richelle Mead
#8. As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
Jon Stewart
#9. If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father.
Mary Todd Lincoln
#10. Please don't make me a joke. End the interview with what I believe. I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one ... I want to be an artist,
an actress with integrity.
Marilyn Monroe
#11. Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that's what I went towards.
Cristela Alonzo
#12. too, making jokes about how old everything was at Yale, how the bathrooms
Catherine Coulter
#13. If you like quick put-downs and aggressive interactions with the audience, you will probably not enjoy the rambles of an unusual character act making jokes about cats for an hour.
Amy Hoggart
#14. End of the Summer
It was end of the summer
And my heart was broken
but i was smiling, laughing, making jokes
Like there was nothing bleeding inside
As always.
Arzum Uzun
#15. Life likes jokes; life is constantly making jokes, even at the most inopportune moments.
Elizabeth McCracken
#16. I was feeling guilty in the beginning; it was frustrating to be successful when a lot of my friends weren't. Also, I was constantly being reminded of that by people in my family making jokes.
Cindy Sherman
#17. All I do is have fun. When I'm not working, it's about making people laugh. I love making jokes about things. Even when someone's mad at me, I'll deflect anger with humor. My days are filled with laughter. If I'm not laughing, I'm not happy.
Drew Fuller
#18. Every day I do one or two podcasts that 92 percent of people never will hear. I'm constantly producing, constantly making jokes for Twitter. There's a lot of pressure there. On the flip side, I think having to produce like that makes you a better comedian.
Kurt Braunohler
#19. Loved this side of him. The happy go lucky, making jokes, sort of guy. It made me even hotter to know behind that mask there was an animal waiting to devour me.
Alaska Angelini
#20. As long as I could hold a pencil, I was drawing and telling stories and making jokes. I've just been lucky that no one ever stopped me, and now I can do that for a living.
Alex Hirsch
#21. Being anti-war in Hollywood was an act of bravery on the order of the keynote speaker at a PLO dinner making jokes about Ariel Sharon.
Ann Coulter
#22. I like to challenge myself not to be negative, because it's easy to take comedy to a negative place and criticize the outside world. Trying to praise something through comedy or be appreciative and making jokes about it is more challenging than cutting things down.
Kyle Kinane
#23. The Dalai Lama took the Archbishop's hand, and then they were more eight than eighty, laughing and making jokes together as they strolled toward the terminal, yellow umbrella sheltering above them. Even
Dalai Lama XIV
#24. He's a very funny and very nice man. When you read the script, you want to stick with it. But when you're with Eddie Murphy you've got to improvise. He's always making jokes and making me crack up when the camera's on.
Raven-Symone
#25. I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families.
Maria Shriver
#27. What's fascinating about doing comedy about the referendum is, because it is the first time, it is the most extraordinary atmosphere. You find that if you are making jokes about politicians, it becomes intensely political.
Rory Bremner
#28. My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.
Emily Deschanel
#29. I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.
Saoirse Ronan
#30. Most young comedians would be lying to say that they weren't huge Weird Al fans when they were kids. Weird Al is probably the first person I ever realized had a career that was just making jokes.
Trevor Moore
#31. I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
#32. Making jokes is about the most wrong and stupid thing a bemused, middle-aged, white heterosexual Anglo Saxon sort of Celt Australian male can do these days.
Michael Leunig
#33. 'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put people at ease. He's one of my inspirations, as a musician and a person.
Ziggy Marley
#34. I suppose I'm going on stage and making jokes about the fact that the audience are expecting the show to be about something and that they might learn something.
Andrew Lawrence
#35. I'm just having fun making jokes and writing books. But you see me once a year, I come on when I have a new book out, but basically, I've got my nose to the grindstone and I'm doing what I'm supposed to do in life, which is make stories.
T.C. Boyle
#36. First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot ... and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.
Stephen Colbert
#37. One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them.
P. J. O'Rourke
#38. I always assumed that at some point I would have to quit making jokes, get a real job and do something meaningful and productive that would actually benefit society. Fortunately this never happened.
Dave Barry
#39. I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
Jimmy Carr
#40. Oh, I don't know. I prefer to think that when they're at home, the Silent Brothers are much like us. Playing practical jokes in the Silent City, making toasted cheese-"
"I hope they play charades," said Tessa Dryly. "It would seem to take advantage of their natural talents.
Cassandra Clare
#41. Everybody in my family had a real sick, twisted sense of humor. Most of the jokes we make in our house, we would just never even dream of making anywhere else. Just sick, horrible stuff. That wasn't anything new to college.
Seth MacFarlane
#42. Lully's machine, Mill's fear and Lasswitz's chaotic library can be the subject of jokes, but they exaggerate a propensity which is common: making metaphysics and the arts into a kind of play with combinations.
Jorge Luis Borges
#43. You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
Dylan Moran
#44. I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and as I say this, I'm sure I do it - completely at someone else's expense.
Michael Showalter
#45. I loved Woody Allen's short pieces. I was equally influenced by Woody Allen and Norman Mailer. I was very into this idea of being high-low, of being serious and intellectual but also making really broad jokes.
Meghan Daum
#46. The public is gullible ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.
Bill Maher
#47. My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
Carrot Top
#48. I heard my name." Ash's voice startles me. "You tow better not be making fun of me about this stupid bra Mama's making me wear. I've had it with the jokes. I'll break both your noses if it doesn't stop.
Abbi Glines
#49. Okay, no more jokes about ladybugs making you their bitch.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#50. The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun.
Margot Kidder
#51. If we were making a cop comedy about bad cops or cops who were comically bad at the jobs, then the jokes would be more hijinks and more like slapstick.
Daniel J. Goor
#52. To our betters eve can reconcile ourselves, if you please
respecting them sincerely, laughing at their jokes, making allowance for their stupidities, meekly suffering their insolence; but we can't pardon our equals going beyond us.
William Makepeace Thackeray
#53. Very funny, my lady. And that reminds me"
he pointed a finger at her
"no horse jokes."
He was making it too easy. "Ah, my lord, why the long face?"
"That's it!
Cynthia Hand
#54. I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny.
Michael Caine
#55. I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes.
Michael Schur
#56. This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So ... just batteries aren't included.
Kevin Sorbo
#57. I'm the youngest of four, and I'm always the clown - making the jokes, wanting attention.
Rose Byrne
#58. Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#60. I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.
Jim Gaffigan
#61. I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that's OK, who wants to be normal anyway?
Tim Duncan
#62. I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.
J. Cole
#63. I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. I've got no plans to stop doing it.
David Alan Basche
#64. Then Alec had smiled at one of Magnus's jokes, and the smile had lit a lamp in his solemn face, making his blue eyes brilliant, and briefly taking Magnus's breath away
Cassandra Clare
#65. When he wasn't making quirky jokes about his mother like this - it happened more than once - he mainly spoke at me, about his job and about his band, Jettisoned Airplane, an electronic music duo, which had been formed in March, inspired by the plane that had gone missing and not yet been found.
Olivia Sudjic
#66. Bleeding for a decade
For a decade,
We bleed like there is no hell but the earth
We bleed like we were born to dare
We bleed like there is nothing alive inside.
We find a clue
After a decade
Bleeding is just to breath
Simply keeps us alive.
Arzum Uzun
#67. Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?'
'He is making a joke, no,' Will said. 'But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes.
John Flanagan
#68. I was an athlete growing up and I miss that. I miss hanging out with dudes and making raunchy jokes and telling stories, trading details, you know? There's something I really miss about that.
Chris Pratt
#69. I never cared so much about making perfect sense. I wanted to make perfect nonsense. I wanted to tell jokes, but I didn't give a fuck about the punchline.
Harmony Korine
#70. Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a heaven while they wait.
Dorothy Richardson
#71. We did this grown-up thing. This really adult thing. But we were still ourselves. We still laughed and made jokes. I expected to feel like this whole new person, but really it was me--plain old me--making this decision that I can never unmake.
Julie Murphy
#72. Yes, my mom does keep making references to marriage, like all mothers do, but it's only in a lighter mood ... she just jokes.
Saina Nehwal
#73. I had a slight feeling of babysitting as we walked soberly along together using all our old phrases, making all our old jokes, not quite feeling all our old fondness.
Ben Dolnick
#74. My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.
G.K. Chesterton
#75. I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh.
Marlo Thomas
#76. It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier.
Tommy Chong
#77. We can not blame Shakespeare for making use of cutthroats and villains in developing his plots, but we might have been spared the jokes which the jailors of Posthumus perpetrate when they come to lead him to the scaffold, and the ludicrous English of the clown who supplies Cleopatra with an asp.
William Shakespeare
