Top 81 Little Joke Quotes
#1. Italians have a little joke, that the world is so hard a man must have two fathers to look after him, and that's why they have godfathers.
Mario Puzo
#2. I did not survive everything. No one ever does. Little pieces of you - sometimes the best of you - get lost in a little lie here, a little joke there. And of course, the aftereffect is the tiny sob - unseen, unheard, deeply felt.
Carol Grace
#3. People come up to me on the street and make some little joke - like they'll say, 'Excuse me, sir, what time is it?' And I'll say, you know, '5:15,' and they'll say, 'Hey! Made you talk!' And that's merely a way of saying, 'I know your work and I like you.'
Teller
#4. My family and I have a little joke that if I'm feeling particularly blue, and nobody cares about me, I should just go to the airport! That is where I am most recognized.
Maggie Wheeler
#5. Now it was our little joke, signifying nothing.
M. Pierce
#6. Sometimes she talked like a poet; she made a little joke of it, so that you wouldn't mind.
Joan D. Vinge
#7. Perhaps the god who had made the Cat People intended them as a joke. They had schools, but no education; politicians but no government; people, but no personal integrity; faces, but no concept of face. One had to admit that their god had gone a little too far with his little joke.
Lao She
#8. This is fun, Matty, isn't it? Cocktail hour is intoxicating." "It is." "I made a little joke there." - Celeste.
Jessica Park
#9. Oh, you're Fate?" said Cohen, as they reached the gaming table. "Always wanted to meet you. I thought you were supposed to be blind?"
"No."
"How about if someone stuck two fingers in yer eyes?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Just my little joke."
"Ha. Ha," said Fate.
Terry Pratchett
#10. The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that isn't funny on some level is quite hard.
Ned Beauman
#11. The sun isn't your friend. It didn't laugh at that stupid little joke. But when the business failed, when your beauty failed, when you should have gone home but spent the night, the sun kept shining.
Sy Safransky
#13. She pawed the air with a hand, getting shy. "Why Mr. Solomon. I didn't realize you liked little ole ladies." He lowered his head hiding his grin as she cackled boisterously at her little joke. "Very funny, Mary, soooo very funny.
Lucian Bane
#14. I love jokes, but God, jokes can go so wrong. I have stayed up many nights thinking, "F**k. I can't believe I made that silly little joke. That was a disaster."
Drew Barrymore
#15. The producers want us to sell, sell, sell. That's my little joke. That's what we do by day; by night, we're artists.
Mike Nichols
#16. One little joke involving hemorrhagic fever and they brand you 'unstable
Michelle Hodkin
#17. From the beginning, when something was wrong I've been saying: 'Dilly-ding, dilly-dong, wake up, wake up!' So on Christmas Day I bought for all the players and all the staff a little bell. It was just a joke.
Claudio Ranieri
#18. A man assumes that a woman's refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume that. When a man says no, it's no. When a woman says no, it's yes, or at least maybe. There is even a joke to that effect. And little by little, women begin to believe in this view of themselves.
Erica Jong
#19. Guys like this Henry always pushed even the most unfunny joke two steps too far . . . then looked wounded and misunderstood when someone yelled at them. And it was always Wassa matter? and it was Can'tcha take a joke? and it was Why don'tcha lighten up a little?
Stephen King
#20. Literature, especially poetry, and lyric poetry most of all, is a kind of family joke, with little or no value outside its own language-group.
George Orwell
#21. I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and as I say this, I'm sure I do it - completely at someone else's expense.
Michael Showalter
#22. You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines.
S.A. Tawks
#23. When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you see the world. And that's the difference between like a Chris Rock joke, and like an open-miker.
Iliza Shlesinger
#24. I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone figured, this is a joke, Owen's going to get squashed.
Owen Hart
#25. The human animal ... is ... neither male nor female ... And if I am allowed to jest a little in passing, I have a joke that is not altogether irrelevant: nothing resembles a male cat on the windowsill more than a female cat.
Marie De Gournay
#26. Without warning, he tossed a bottle of water at me, which I caught. "Nope, no joke. Now I've got to get some beauty sleep, and based on the way you look, you could use a little yourself.
Angela McPherson
#27. Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
#28. He got the deviant joke loud and clear, the one about the biggest head case craving the taste of a psychiatrist. The little bit of a thing was smarter than most.
V. Theia
#29. I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.
Bob Woodward
#30. Playing quarterback ... it's no joke ... The difference here with Johnny Manziel, there's a lot of style and very little substance.
Boomer Esiason
#31. Sometimes you go up to people who look totally normal and then you talk to them for a few seconds and you are like, Oh I better get out of this, because this person is a little mentally unbalanced, and they are not going to get a joke.
Billy Eichner
#32. Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette, Dolly Parton and I were the first female headliners, where we would book our own opening acts. Before that, it was a standing joke that it was more like we had 'pretty little girl singers' opening for a male headliner.
Barbara Mandrell
#33. And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn't care about my sales sheet. He would care about my soul sheet.' Then you feel a little embarrassed because that was such a low-quality joke.
Jon Acuff
#34. I've always been a jokester. The things I got in trouble for, when I was little, was always about making a joke or setting up a prank or being silly when I should be paying attention.
Will Smith
#35. Any time you can be with like-minded people, laughing or crying over the same joke or the same scene ... For me, it's therapeutic. You just feel a little less alone on the planet.
Michael De Luca
#36. Don't worry, Njrea," said Vrem, but everyone went just a little bit still when Trals's raptor got close. Andrea stared down at the wide, yellow eyes, the twitching taloned fingers. The little beast opened its mouth and chuckled at her, like a crow with a dirty joke on its mind.
Daniel M. Bensen
#37. A lot of people are actually surprised when I do open up my mouth and smile a little bit, and crack a joke and drink a beer.
Tim Kang
#38. "What a joke: Tiny living entities crawling on a little planet and are thinking, "I am Great". "
Radhanath Swami
#39. What a joke! Poor little rich girl's fallen in love with the Republic's most famous criminal.
Marie Lu
#40. she takes me so seriously, much too seriously, and then thinks about her queer little sister for a long time afterwards, looks searchingly at me, at every word I say, and keeps on thinking: 'Is this just a joke or does she really mean it?
Francine Prose
#41. You, Stan, are covered with dirt and leaves.'
'I just applied for a job as a tree,' I said. It made so little sense, he didn't even bother responding.
Sean Beaudoin
#42. Here is a good joke. The little boy walks into an ice cream store, He asks for a sundae with extra hot fudge sauce. 'I'm sorry." says tje ice cream man. "Hot fudge only comes in one temperature." Mark, Florida
Susan Magsamen
#43. Or maybe, just maybe, a small voice whispered in my head, it's not a joke, silly. Maybe he's really that worried about you. This wouldn't be the first time he's gone a little overboard trying to protect you. I sighed.
Stephenie Meyer
#44. The joke's on them. One little hypodermic wont' be enough. Split a piece of wood, and they'll find me. Lift up a stone, and they'll find me. Look in the mirror, and they'll find me ... If you really want to know what makes someone a killer, ask yourself what would make you do it.
Jodi Picoult
#45. Pop was her ideal of how a man should be, brave, gentle, comic, never losing his temper, never bragging, never complaining except in a joke, tolerant, understanding, intelligent, drinking a little too much as a good man should, and, to her eyes, very handsome.
Ernest Hemingway,
#46. Tool of Communist agitators ... it's really a joke, isn't it? Because, quite clearly, we are a party of real moderates. It just shows how little they understand.
Helen Suzman
#47. Where have you been lately?" Christina says. She wiggles her eyebrows. "With Four? Doing a little . . . addition? Multiplication?" I cover my face with my hands. "That was the worst joke I've ever heard.
Veronica Roth
#48. Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.
Sarah Silverman
#49. Tell me my little children, what crime has this lizard committed that it must die this evening?" There was silence. In raising my head like a joke, I tried to laugh. That was the same time I realized that grandma was dead serious with us.Pg.26
Obehi Peter Ewanfoh
#50. You have to struggle a bit, hustle a little, and be willing to go bankrupt. Once you're willing to do that, everything opens up and you get the freedom. My joke is that next year, I'll make the first film that costs zero dollars.
Nick Nolte
#51. There is a somewhat time-worn joke about people taking up library work because they like to read : the joke consisting of the fact that librarians have so little time to read. But, I tell you, those who do not, and there are some, are in the wrong profession.
Mary Virginia Provines
#52. The particular way he had of structuring his paragraphs, beginning and ending each with a joke that wasn't really a joke, but an insult cloaked in a silken cape.
Hanya Yanagihara
#53. I always made people laugh, and everybody wanted me to sit at the table with them. I don't joke as much as I used to, but I can still be a little comedian every now and then.
Missy Elliot
#54. Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something that's a little bit different.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
#55. Little James Herondale, age two, was in fact holding a dagger quite well. He stabbed it into a sofa cushion, sending out a burst of feathers.
"Ducks," he said, pointing at the feathers.
Cassandra Clare
#56. I don't say things straight into the other person's face. I kind of like to make a joke or a remark and make it digestible or just give a little comment that voices my concern, but is not meant to be a critique, but just a comment so that he understands that I am thinking.
Christoph Waltz
#57. Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"
Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
Eoin Colfer
#58. When I was younger, I was always willing to tell a joke and play out a scene. I would get sticks and pretend they were light sabers. I think it was just at a young age, I was so willing to jump up and perform a little play at the family picnic.
Sufe Bradshaw
#59. Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes.
Charles Bukowski
#60. According to the old joke, married people are often like little boys bathing, who cry with chattering teeth to the boys on the shore, 'Do come in, it's so warm' - it is not always warm.
Dinah Maria Murlock Craik
#61. What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don't actually have a joke. I don't tell jokes much. I tell little stories.
Howard Dean
#62. Spring me from this role I play of the smothered son in the Jewish joke! Because it's beginning to pall a little at thirty-three!
Philip Roth
#63. Sometimes I joke around that if I weren't a musician, I would be a power lifter. I don't think people expect it from me because I'm little.
Mirah
#64. Sometimes you just create a joke out of thin air in the editing room. So I'm really glad I've had that experience. It gives me a little more confidence in front of the camera.
Ed Helms
#65. If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
Wanda Sykes
#66. I wonder if he knows that every time I make a joke, a little piece of my heart breaks off. It's just self-defense. It seems whenever we get close, he leaves.
Adriana Trigiani
#67. Is there any other way to Erudite headquarters?" I say. "Not that I now of," says Cara. "Unless you want to jump from one roof to another." She laughs a little as she says it, like it's a joke. I raise my eyebrows at her. "Wait," she says. "You aren't considering
?
Veronica Roth
#68. When I was in high school, I was dating this girl and wanted to make her birthday really special. I showed up early to school and went around to every single one of her classes and left a rose with her teachers. Each rose had a note with a little inside joke.
Dave Franco
#69. Hey." Lon said to Kar Yee, towering over her. "Hanging in there?"
"This? Pfft. It's nothing." Kar Yee said with a silly grin. "How's my favorite pirate captain? Did you come to give me something nice to look at? A little pirate booty?" She snorted a laugh at her own joke.
Jenn Bennett
#70. I really like the animated film process. It's kind of like doing a play, because you can experiment with it, rewrite it, screen it, go back, then work on it a little bit more. If the joke doesn't work, you can fix it. It's different from a live action movie.
Steve Martin
#71. I always joke to my dad and thank him for giving me this little boy body, when I was 6 or 7, my gymnastics coach looked at my quads and told the other coach to come over and see my quads. They were big then and still are. But I've kind of embraced it through the years.
Ali Krieger
#72. You have this maddening little smile sometimes, like you've just thought of something incredibly witty but are afraid to say it in case no one gets the joke.
Robyn Schneider
#73. Tucker doesn't see me right away. He smiles the way he does when he delivers the punch line for a joke, a wry, knowing little flash of teeth and dimple. I melt seeing that smile, remembering the times when it's been aimed at me.
Cynthia Hand
#74. When I look at my audience, I can tell better who's in the crowd and the kind of joke I shouldn't do. It's just complicated. I guess I sift through to make sure these jokes are a little different with not such a harsh edge to them. That's pretty much how I handle the crowd.
Larry The Cable Guy
#75. I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. - Edward Cullen
Stephenie Meyer
#77. Joke:
What did the little firefly say to his friends when they played hide-and-seek?
Ready or not, here I glow!
Heather Wolf
#78. There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
A.P. Herbert
#79. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a civil engineer. No joke. I would come home from school and build bridges out of toothpicks and see how much weight they would hold before falling.
Bitsie Tulloch
#80. Don't mourn me", he said. Because it was a joke, a sick joke and because - at the end - he needed a little dark humour to sustain him.
Stephen Lloyd Jones
#81. Be prepared to cut your little extra lines that come after a big punchline and move on to the next joke or routine to give your set more punch and crispness. You can keep them in your set, but if the audience applauds your big line, don't do your tag when it dies down, just move on.
Franklyn Ajaye
