Laugh Jokes Quotes

#1. I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.

Joan Rivers

#2. GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy!

Deyth Banger

#3. I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.

Stephen Colbert

#4. Watson loved them sour kind of jokes, which I enjoyed myself. I mean, ain't life some kind of a sour joke? Might's well laugh, that's the way him and me seen it, whether nice folks seen the joke or not. One time when Watson caught me grinning along with him, he give a wink and lifted up his hat.

Peter Matthiessen

#5. I instantly like people who laugh at my jokes. It's a weakness of mine.

Matthew Norman

#6. At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is.

Charlene Hartnady

#7. It's considered bad form to laugh at your own jokes (especially when they're teensy ones), but some people are so engaging they never have to laugh alone. Chaz

Stephen King

#8. I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.

Simon Le Bon

#9. When I'm playing comedy, I never do 'jokes.' Sometimes I'll deliver a line in a way I think is more likely to get a laugh, but all the best comedy is played straight. What's funny is the way it hits the world around it or the way it hits the other characters.

Bruce McGill

#10. They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.

Mike Epps

#11. I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances.

Brian Regan

#12. No matter what you say while in the hospital, doctors won't laugh at your jokes.

Hope Jahren

#13. I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash.

Ellen DeGeneres

#14. Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke] may not be worth the next guy's laugh.

Penn Jillette

#15. I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes.

Sayed Kashua

#16. There's much we can all do for men, including helping them feel wanted without their having to do anything life threatening. Perhaps women always knew this instinctively, which is why we tend to flatter our men and laugh at all their jokes, letting them think they're funnier than women.

Faye Flam

#17. It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh.

Malcolm Muggeridge

#18. I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don't consider myself that funny of a person. I'm not witty. I'm kind of slow in conversations. I'm not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.

Nathan Fielder

#19. I'm against eating a human being alive - I don't do it. Somebody might make cannibalism jokes and laugh it off like it's nothing. I don't agree with that. I want to proclaim a rejection of cannibalism.

John Maus

#20. I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. I've got no plans to stop doing it.

David Alan Basche

#21. And keep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything else, when you're my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you'll get a laugh.

Art Linkletter

#22. The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes.

Adrian Edmondson

#23. Laughter, Susannah would later reflect, is like a hurricane: once it reaches a certain point, it becomes self-feeding, self-supporting. You laugh not because the jokes are funny but because your own condition is funny.

Stephen King

#24. I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.

Saoirse Ronan

#25. I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

Paula Deen

#26. 'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.

David Chase

#27. Jokes have a relation to the unconscious.'
'Jokes may indeed have a relation to the unconscious. But also: sometimes a joke is just a joke.'
'Directed against-'
'Directed against you. Whom else? The man who doesn't laugh. The man who can't take a joke.

J.M. Coetzee

#28. A dead man sits on all our judgment seats; and living judges do but search out and repeat his decisions. We read in dead men's books! We laugh a dead men's jokes, and cry at dead men's pathos!

Nathaniel Hawthorne

#29. Everything in Scripture has the force of law. What it teaches we are to believe; what it commands, we are to do. We should take its wisdom to heart, imitate its heroes, laugh at its jokes, trust its promises, and sing its songs.

John Frame

#30. Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

Chris Hardwick

#31. Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh?

Aristophanes

#32. I didn't want to do a throwaway, mindless movie with fart jokes just to make 6-year-olds laugh. I want to provide my children with some substance.

Fred Durst

#33. A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes.

Pawan Mishra

#34. I'm more of an older school comedian so Tommy Davidson still makes me laugh a lot no matter how many times I've heard his jokes or not. He's just an animated comedian that I don't mind seeing over and over again.

Joe Torry

#35. I really like being able to laugh at my own jokes.

Neil Gaiman

#36. I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

Kathy Griffin

#37. I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

John Oliver

#38. I'm always trying to make myself laugh. I'm the most enthusiastic audience I'm likely to find, so if it doesn't make me smile then it probably won't work on you. The jokes that only make me shrug get cut.

Victor LaValle

#39. There's nothing in the world sicker-looking than the grin of the man who's trying to join in heartily when the laugh's on him, and to pretend that he likes it.

George Horace Lorimer

#40. I'm an expert on one-armed Herdazian jokes. 'Lopen,' my mother always says, 'you must learn these to laugh before others do. Then you steal the laughter from them, and have it all for yourself.

Brandon Sanderson

#41. When I started doing standup when I was 17, I was talking about being Indian and specifically ethnic jokes. Straightforward stuff that was fairly ignorant that I knew would get the laugh. It wasn't flipping stereotypes; it was using them.

Hari Kondabolu

#42. I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

Bernie Mac

#43. I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.

Steve Martin

#44. I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.

Dick Gregory

#45. As you get older as a comedian and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the jokes, but how comfortable you can be in the silence and the non-laughing parts, and how long you can take the audience without a laugh to then get a huge reaction.

Patton Oswalt

#46. My father taught me to work, but not to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh
anything but work.

Abraham Lincoln

#47. Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.

Rue McClanahan

#48. When it comes to African Americans and African American actors, Hollywood has always felt that if you can make us laugh, that's fine, but we don't need to see you do a 'Schindler's List,' where there's no jokes or music or comedic through-line.

Hill Harper

#49. As a child of privilege, no one is your friend. They will claim to be your friends, they will laugh at your jokes and invite you to their parties, but they do not like you. They like your power, they like what you will become someday.

Orson Scott Card

#50. I'm pretty goofy. I laugh at my own jokes.

Abby Wambach

#51. Popular men who laugh at your jokes pose a threat which blatant villains can never command.

Lindsey Davis

#52. Today's all burnt toast, running late and Dad jokes, has anybody seen my left shoe? Close my eyes, take a bite, grab a ride, laugh-out-loud, there it is up on the roof.

Bridgit Mendler

#53. Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.

Judd Nelson

#54. Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you ... And the orchestra really kept you going. They'd laugh at all your jokes, even if they'd been hearing them for the last 30 years.

Donald O'Connor

#55. When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and short. Of course we're not laughing ... Nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood.

Naomi Weisstein

#56. Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..

Honeya

#57. A bully is one who forces you to laugh at his jokes, even if they are not jokes. That is how you know he is a bully. A

Joyce Carol Oates

#58. I am a product ... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

Carlos Mencia

#59. Death isn't funny."
"Then why are there so many jokes about death? Jill, with us - us humans - death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

Robert A. Heinlein

#60. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions

Criss Jami

#61. Laugh and fear not, creatures. Now that you are no longer dumb and witless, you need not always be grave. For jokes as well as justice come in with speech.

C.S. Lewis

#62. It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.

Nick Hornby

#63. It took me a moment to realize he was joking. He was very dry. He didn't even smile at his own jokes, let alone laugh at them. Didn't give you any clues he was being funny. Oh,

Joe Hill

#64. I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

Sam Kinison

#65. I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

Nick Offerman

#66. I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny.

Harland Williams

#67. The more a man can make a woman laugh, the more attracted she will be to him. This is primarily because women seem to prefer dominating mates. As studies shows, women tend to laugh more at men they are interested into and men are attracted to those women who laugh at their jokes.

F.R. Lifestyle

#68. My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.

Carrot Top

#69. If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

Bob Edwards

#70. I think I have got a very good sense of humour; other people don't, but I do. I also laugh at my own jokes.

Jennifer Johnston

#71. We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times ... It's a really freeing process when you're not hitting the jokes too hard.

Brett Gelman

#72. She was desperate to see Kai again. To kiss him. To be in his arms. To laugh at his ironic jokes and watch his eyes crinkle when he laughed at hers. It

Marissa Meyer

#73. I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes - they don't write me ... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree.

Chris Rock

#74. I used to love being the class clown. I loved to make jokes and make people laugh. There was a set of students who would find it funny. But the cool students were like, 'Eeew!'

Issa Rae

#75. Every time a woman makes herself laugh at her husband's often-told jokes she betrays him. The man who looks at his woman and says 'What would I do without you?' is already destroyed.

Germaine Greer

#76. One thing House needs Wilson for is vanity. He needs someone to laugh at his jokes.

Hugh Laurie

#77. When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.

Hafez

#78. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.

Buddy Hackett

#79. I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.

Margaret Cho

#80. Ove's wife sometimes jokes that the three worst words Ove knows in this life are "Batteries not included." People usually laugh when she says that. But Ove does not usually laugh.

Fredrik Backman

#81. Oh my god," I said, but I couldn't help but laugh. "You can't make jokes about eating dead people if you actually eat dead people.

Kali Wallace

#82. It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one's soul. Do not fancy you can be a detached wit and avoid being a buffoon; you cannot. If you are the Court Jester you must be the Court Fool.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

#83. My music started out as a complete joke, so really all I was doing was going for witty punchlines to make all of my buddies laugh.

Mike Stud

#84. In real life I'm the type of girl who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm very serious when it comes to work, but I like to make jokes and have a good laugh and make fun of myself.

Gal Gadot

#85. Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.

Agnes Varda

#86. I love dark humor. I love things that are so grounded in life, but just happen to be just a little bit twisted because my sense of humor is a little bit twisted. I love jokes that shouldn't be funny, but are. Those types of things just really make me laugh.

Rockmond Dunbar

#87. I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny.

Michael Caine

#88. There is not a racist bone in my dad's body. He doesn't even laugh at distasteful jokes.

Alan Wilson

#89. I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

Jo Brand

#90. This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So ... just batteries aren't included.

Kevin Sorbo

#91. Something about not waiting for the laugh of a laugh track allows you to take lines that otherwise might be seen as just direct jokes, and make them seem realistic.

Mitchell Hurwitz

#92. Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.

Steven Wright

#93. What makes a good animated movie is being able to balance adult and knowing in-jokes and also just out and out funny things that make all people laugh. The idea that it's actually something that will appeal to a family, that's the trick.

Benedict Cumberbatch

#94. All I do is have fun. When I'm not working, it's about making people laugh. I love making jokes about things. Even when someone's mad at me, I'll deflect anger with humor. My days are filled with laughter. If I'm not laughing, I'm not happy.

Drew Fuller

#95. I'm here to make people laugh and help them forget their troubles, too! So I just try to bring heart and bring jokes!

Matthew Moy

#96. Check out the very best of Hollywood jokes that will make you laugh

Joan Crawford

#97. A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that's pretty much what you're supposed to do with jokes. You're not supposed to take it any further than that.

Dave Attell

#98. It has been my experience that, even when a man has a sense of humor, it only really carries him to the point where he will join in a laugh at the expense of the other fellow.

George Horace Lorimer

#99. I dance the hardest, laugh the hardest at my own jokes, and make casual reference to my vagina, like it's a car or a chest of drawers.

Lena Dunham

#100. Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience.

Mike Birbiglia