I'm So Broke Funny Quotes

#1. The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!

Henny Youngman

#2. I want you to know,' said Damen, carefully, 'that I haven't done anything to encourage the idea that I-that you and I-'
'If I thought you had, I'd have had you tied to a post and flogged until your front matched your back.

C.S. Pacat

#3. Art is the way people see things, and I think it's great when individuals can find in fashion something they truly believe is artistic.

Olivier Theyskens

#4. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.

Frank Zappa

#5. It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever.

Rosario Dawson

#6. How did you not know they broke up? You usually monitor his social media like he's al-Qaeda and you're the CIA.

Heather Cocks

#7. Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!

Dave Chappelle

#8. Umm thanks for the phone. I think I already broke it ...

Robert Pattinson

#9. It is bad to love life if one loves it like a coward.

Jean Guehenno

#10. Artemis: I am not buoyed by that.
Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized.
Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone.

Eoin Colfer

#11. I'm at a very frustrating point in my career because I'm not a millionaire. Like, people assume because you're in movies or TV, you're rich. I'm not rich, but I'm far from broke. I'm what you call a 'thousandaire.'

Aries Spears

#12. My heart broke and my mind opened, tragedy works in a funny way like that ~ what once tore me apart was actually what was setting my truth free.

Nikki Rowe

#13. No one broke his finger and got away with it.

Sarah Masters

#14. I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it

Elle Kennedy

#15. Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money ...

Fabolous

#16. He can't get broke so long as he is stuffed with money.

L. Frank Baum

#17. Remember. Make him cry uncle.
Cry uncle, my posterior. I'm going to make him cry like a girl who broke her mom's designer heels at the prom.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#18. We broke up in eighth grade when Tara-Mae Forrester offered to let me touch her boobs. And I did.

Emma Chase

#19. I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

Steven Wright

#20. My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!

Rodney Dangerfield

#21. I walk into the clubhouse today and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic. We have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and by the 7th inning he'd already drunk it.

Tommy Lasorda

#22. The vibration of his cell phone broke his reverie. "Doucette," he answered. "Meet me at the Lamothe House," Sassy replied. "Sassy, I told you I'm not that kind of girl." "Very funny, Mr. Smart Ass. Looks like we have another body." "I'm almost there," Michel said quickly, then hung up.

David Lennon

#23. Nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny.

Curtis Sittenfeld

#24. False conversions are a wart on the face of Christian evangelism.

Kevin Roose

#25. I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn't figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren't so different after all.

Dora J. Arod

#26. I think I have a clue how much you love me now, Hop," I told him when he broke the kiss.
"Good to know, baby," he said through a grin.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"So far from a hardship, it isn't funny, lady, but you're welcome.

Kristen Ashley

#27. Funny thing about glass. When you broke the shit up, it got pissed and bit back.

J.R. Ward

#28. But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set.

Jaime King

#29. Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts.

J.K. Rowling