Top 72 If I Had A Gun Quotes
#1. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
Ricky Gervais
#2. If I had a gun, I'd shoot a hole into the sun and love would burn this city down for you.
Noel Gallagher
#3. In all cases where doubt crops up, ask yourself, "If I had a gun to my head and had to do it, how would I do it?" It's not as hard as you think.
Tim Ferriss
#4. If I had a gun to my head and I had to choose between theater and film I'd choose theater.
Ralph Fiennes
#5. But I also believe that a lot of gun owners would agree that AK-47s belong in the hands of soldiers, not on the streets of our cities.
Antonin Scalia
#6. We have all read tragic stories in our local papers about gun accidents as a result of misuse. As lawmakers we can better promote safety and responsibility by encouraging gun owners to purchase gun safes to store firearms and keep them from falling into the wrong hands.
Ron Lewis
#7. My kingdom for a gun. (Geary)
You don't have a kingdom. (Brian)
And I don't have a gun- looks like I'm shit out of luck all the way around, huh? (Geary)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#8. The screen blanked, then produced a book cover. The jacket image - in black-and-white - showed barking dogs surrounding a scarecrow. In the background, shoulders slumped in a posture of weariness or defeat (or both), was a hunter with a gun. The eponymous Cortland, probably.
Stephen King
#9. Oh God, that hurts," she whimpered.
"What hurts?" Kye asked, sounding concerned.
"The invisible man pounding spikes into my head."
"That doesn't sound good. Maybe you should take out an invisible Taser gun and zap the son of a bitch.
Julie James
#10. I didn't know what was going on, didn't understand a bit of it, didn't like any of it. Maybe that's why the first thing I packed was my guns. If your brain won't work, wave a gun around. Sometimes that helps.
James Crumley
#11. Thin Burning Light Gun
If the car found life, it could try to use this gun to learn about it, but the life might not be alive when it was done.
Randall Munroe
#13. But he has guns, Rikki," she reminded herself aloud. "A dog wouldn't have a gun.
Christine Feehan
#14. Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?"
"I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go.
Shannon K. Butcher
#15. The handgun would not be my choice of weapon if I knew I was going to a fight ... I'd choose a rifle, a shotgun, an RPG or an atomic bomb instead.
Clint Smith
#16. In the wasteland of metro Boston, at thirteen, fourteen, his big dream had been of a gun to his own head, putting him out of his misery - a misery that by sophomore year of college was indistinguishable from everybody else's.
Garth Risk Hallberg
#17. Sarah Palin is a figure of fun on the American left, easily lampooned as a know-nothing, gun-toting ex-beauty queen who loves God and the red, white and blue above pretty much anything else except for Todd, her macho husband, who races snowmobiles across the Alaskan tundra.
Jay Parini
#18. Strict gun laws are about as effective as strict drug laws ... It pains me to say this, but the NRA seems to be right: The cities and states that have the toughest gun laws have the most murder and mayhem.
Mike Royko
#19. My gun trainer on the first 'G.I. Joe' gave me about a week of commando training, so I got to shoot every single machine gun and hand gun there was.
Ray Park
#20. Deny a young boy the right to have a toy gun and you will suppress his destructive urges, and he will turn out to be a homosexual - or worse!
Germaine Greer
#21. All I need is one mic
One beat, one stage
One ni%$a frontin' my face on the front page
Only if I had one gun, one girl and one crib
One god to show me how to do things his son did.
Nas
#22. I stared at Jean-Claude still cuddled on the corner of the bed. He looked adorable, and if I'd had a gun, I'd have shot him on the spot.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#23. Whenever I hear the word "share" I would reach for a gun if I had one. "Share" is frequently followed by the word "feelings", and I have enough of my own thank you; please do us both a favor and repress yours.
Stewart Brand
#24. He was looking at both of us, the gun held easily in his big hands. "What's with the sunglasses, bitch?"
I let the name calling go. They had all the guns. "They look cool," I said
He laughed then, a warm growly sound. A nice laugh if he hadn't been armed.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#25. If you were running away from me, down a straight hallway with an oiled hardwood floor, and I had a machine gun and a pointy mustache, I still couldn't hit you with a bowling ball. But what are you doing? You should be running toward love, not away from it.
Jarod Kintz
#26. To this day I don't know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or if he was mentally counting to see if he had that many shells left in the gun.
David Wong
#27. If I had to just play 200 shows a year with the same set, there'd be a gun. In my mouth. With bullets in it.
Bob Schneider
#28. I may not have the gun that Jesse James had when he was gunned down, but if there's a piece identified with him and the same place, then I get interested; it's always excited me.
Red McCombs
#29. If I thought, had any idea, that I'd ever be a slave again, I'd take a gun an' jus end it all right away. Because you're nothing but a dog. You're not a thing but a dog.
Fountain Hughes
#30. When I was a small boy, if we had a problem, we would fight about it with our fists. We wouldn't shoot somebody, killing them or wounding them. That's not hard to do. I would like people to put down the guns. If you have a problem, talk about it or fight about it.
Snoop Dogg
#31. The answer to crime is not gun control, it is law enforcement and self-control.
Alan Keyes
#32. I had a weapon of my own and I wasn't afraid to fucking use it. And if I died? Who the fuck cared? I put the gun to my head and demanded to be let through. The fucktards shot me.
C.J. Roberts
#33. If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains
Dorothy Parker
#34. I didn't care if Travis had holstered his gun, double-bagged it, or tied it in a knot. He could probably get a woman pregnant just by winking at her.
-Ella's thoughts
Lisa Kleypas
#35. I carried it (a revolver) religiously and during the summer I asked a friend, a man who had been one of Franklin's bodyguards in New York State, to give me some practice in target shooting so that if the need arose I would know how to use the gun.
Eleanor Roosevelt
#36. I remember thinking to myself that if I ever reached a point in my life where I had to walk to get exercise, it might be time to clean out my ears with a gun.
Jim Wendler
#37. But, Jesus, Tommy, what do you expect me to say? I grew up with you. When we were kids your fly was open more often than the twenty-four-hour laundromat. If your dick had been a gun you could have outdrawn Doc Holliday.
Bart Yates
#38. If I didn't do something perfectly, I had to do it again ... I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head.
Alexis Stewart
#39. Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!
Clint Smith
#40. Ironclads and Maxim guns must be the ultimate arbiters of metaphysical truth.
Bertrand Russell
#41. Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!
Janet Evanovich
#42. It ain't gun control we need; it's sin control.
Si Robertson
#43. The doubts ached in my bones like the deadening crawl of an icy night, and my gun trembled from my unsteady arm.
Katherine McIntyre
#44. Together we could be so strong, but the gun has made us individuals.
Marieke Nijkamp
#45. In the dark morning silence, I placed a gun to her head. She wore red dresses, but now she lay dead.
Dwight Yoakam
#46. Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'
And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.
Derek Landy
#47. Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs ... shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
Bill Hicks
#48. Why don't you pass the gun around and give everyone a shot.
Alice Cooper
#49. He wasn't anti-gun really - he just wasn't pro-being-shot-at.
Adam P. Knave
#50. The evil queen was stupid to play Snow White's game. There's an age where a woman has to move on to another kind of power. Money, for example. Or a gun.
Chuck Palahniuk
#51. "Gun Control" isn't about guns. It's about control. If guns are outlawed, how can we shoot the liberals?
Mike Gunn
#52. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another - their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun.
Ayn Rand
#53. Everyone has a right to bear arms. If you take guns away from legal gun owners, then the only people who have guns are the bad guys.
Bruce Willis
#54. There is a general kind of praying which fails for lack of precision. It is as if a regiment of soldiers should all fire off their guns anywhere. Possibly somebody would be killed, but the majority of the enemy would be missed.
Charles Spurgeon
#55. I'd been beguiled by the new technology - a toddler crawling toward a gun.
Jon Ronson
#56. I've never seen 'The Goonies.' I've never seen 'Indiana Jones.' I watched 'UHF' over and over again when I was little, and that was it. I had no time for any other movies. I watched 'Naked Gun,' 'UHF,' and 'Airplane!' over and over.
Eric Andre
#57. I think of all the guys that strap a gun on their backs and head to Afghanistan and Iraq to keep us free and safe and maintain what America has stood for.
Foster Friess
#58. You don't need a weapon to protect yourself.
Bill Maher
#59. The problem with being a gun rights supporter is that the left hates guns and the right hates rights.
Gene Hoffman
#60. Let's go get the slug gun and shoot some cats
Louis Nowra
#61. Not that I've noticed." She looked down at my gun. "What a nice Glock. My sister carries a Glock, and she just loves it. I was thinking about trading in my .45, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My dead husband gave it to me for our first anniversary. Rest his soul.
Janet Evanovich
#62. I was something of a prankster. One time I put a ski mask on my head and used a fake gun on the school secretary so that I could get some of my friends out of detention.
Luke Perry
#63. The right is absolute ... government has no authority to forbid me from owning a firearm ... the debate is not about guns. It is about freedom.
Tom McClintock
#64. Why does a tragedy like 9/11 change everything about air travel, but numerous gun massacres CHANGE NOTHING?
Justine Bateman
#65. According to Herodotus, the ancient Persians felt that what was necessary in the background of a young man entering adulthood was his ability to ride, shoot straight, and speak the truth. Perhaps we should now grant our college degrees to young men who measure up to that standard.
Jeff Cooper
#67. Recently a guy was having trouble with his computer. So he unplugs it, takes it out in the alley, pulls out a gun, and shoots it eight times. Coincidentally, that's how Hillary got rid of her emails.
David Letterman
#68. The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.
Eddie Izzard
#69. I found that I was getting a warm reception for my message of freeing you from the income tax, releasing you from Social Security, ending the insane war on drugs, restoring gun rights, and reducing the federal government to just its constitutional functions.
Harry Browne
#71. If we put a gun to her head she would sing all day. Try it first with a bird, General Benjamin said gently to Alfredo. Like our soprano, they have no capacity to understand authority. The bird doesn't know enough to be afraid and the person holding the gun will only end up looking like a lunatic.
Ann Patchett
#72. The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.
P. J. O'Rourke
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