Top 100 Humour Love Quotes
#1. Can we just be grateful for beauty & joy, fascination & tolerance, humour & love, nature & grace, and simply release any anger and pains?
Jay Woodman
#3. Septimus: There is nothing more to be said about sexual congress.
Thomasina: Is it the same as love?
Septimus: Oh no, it is much nicer than that.
Tom Stoppard
#4. I think British humour is very cruel, and gay humour is very cruel. I think the two go hand-in-hand and that's why they mix so well in England. I think that's why you get so many gay comedians in England that are accepted so well because British humour is very cruel. I love it.
Jason Sellards
#5. I like you but you mightn't feel the same way about me, and I wouldn't blame you. To save us both from any awkward moments I've figured out an easy way to do this. Nod if you're even slightly interested in getting to know me. Write a ten page explanation if you're not.
Bill Condon
#6. I said alone!"
He nodded in agreement. "Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It's our way.
Kresley Cole
#7. If people were rain, I was drizzle. She was hurricane.
John Green
#8. A man when he is making up to anybody can be cordial and gallant and full of little attentions and altogether charming. But when a man is really in love he can't help looking like a sheep.
Agatha Christie
#9. Optimism is the first cousin of love, and it's exactly like love in three ways: it's pushy, it has no real sense of humour, and it turns up where you least expect it.
Gregory David Roberts
#10. What is this place?'
'Heaven.' She laughed, 'with better drinks!
Tan Redding
#11. Thirty years of marriage to Erasto had taught her much, namely that men were reckless by nature, full of bluster, most incompetent, the rest fortunate to have a wife to keep them from allowing their innate ineptitude to engulf all around them.
A.H. Septimius
#12. I love you all, even those I don't
particularly like. That's you, Beryl.
Derek Landy
#13. Surprisingly, I felt no anger towards him. He was just Man. Man in his basic, rudimentary state, easily moved by powerful emotions like love, lust, anger, greed, and fear, but totally dumb to the finer, acquired emotions like pity, mercy, humour, and justice.
Helon Habila
#14. Heartache makes
for good poetry,
heartburn
not so much.
S. Tarr
#15. Whether we are trying to buy a packet of chips or getting to know a person for a potentially important relationship, its nice to have an overview of what it/he/she contains. - Of A Sense of Self
Amrita Sarkar
#16. There are talking dogs all over the place, unbelievably boring they are, on and on and on about sex and shit and smells, and smells and shit and sex, and do you love me, do you love me, do you love me.
Ursula K. Le Guin
#17. Lord! when you sell a man a book you don't sell just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life. Love and friendship and humour and ships at sea by night - there's all heaven and earth in a book, a real book.
Christopher Morley
#18. I love Prada. Not so much the clothes, which are for malnourished thirteen-year-olds, but I covet, with covety covetousness, the shoes and handbags. Like, I LOVE them. If I was given a choice between world peace and a Prada handbag, I'd dither. (I'm not proud of this, I'm only saying.)
Marian Keyes
#19. What can I say? I'm Irish, I love a good potato.
Sophia Tallon
#20. Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.
Marian Keyes
#21. If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.
Johnny Depp
#22. Good isn't obsessed to win
But
Bad is destined to lose
Hemdiva Dev
#23. (Even the teachers noticed. Mr. Diaz walked past my locker when Finn was there and said, "For the love of all that is holy, you two, please don't breed.") Pg 149
Laurie Halse Anderson
#24. Dickhead. He makes a beeline for Kate, not even seeing the other women who are right in front of him. Tunnel vision. He wants her bad.
Where have I seen the look on his face before? Oh, yeah. In the mirror.
Vi Keeland
#25. No body told you to call your band Salacious Mold, my friend.
Cassandra Clare
#26. Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes
Benny Bellamacina
#27. You ask me why I write. You might as well ask me why I breathe. I need oxygen to feed my body and ink to feed my soul.
Bryce Main
#28. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. Just the lightest touch of lips, but it took her breath away.
"What was that for?" She said, when she could talk.
He held out his hands to the street and the town. "See, the world didnt explode. I think we can be friends
Kathryn James
#29. You said cray cray."
"I'd say anything for you.
H.M. Ward
#30. As if reading her mind, he leaned into her again, pupils dark, irises glowing like a forest caught in the last rays of sun before dusk ... "Do you want me to make you come?"
"Is that a trick question?
Dianna Hardy
#31. I love inappropriate humour. What else are you going to do? You have to laugh.
Bojana Novakovic
#33. I love to bring humour into my work. Because comedy is not a huge part of the art world. And big-business film takes itself very seriously.
James Franco
#34. Being amongst rough lives and confusion does not make you less, it only makes your beauty shine out more clearly.
Sharon Sant
#36. I like men with quick wit, good conversation and a great sense of humour. I love banter. I want a man to like me for me - I want him to be authentic.
Emma Watson
#37. There's such a unique humour in Wales that I just love and miss in Los Angeles.
Matthew Rhys
#38. Father's ideals became part of me and still are today. His reserve, deeply rooted liberal views, his provocative humour, his passion for work and love of risk are also mine.
Niki De St. Phalle
#39. But mum was tough. No matter how fancily she dressed, she couldn't hide her true nature. Everyone at school was scared of her. Especially the other mums. She once knocked out a man with a single punch when he barged her trolley in Sainsbury's.
Matthew Crow
#41. I've never heard a eulogy about a person where they talk about the value of wealth and how much money the've left behind. They only talk about the character ,love, integrity, humour strength etc.
So why is it so important to some that they lose sight of everything else in life ?
Lou Silluzio
#42. In terms of love, you're not in control and I hate that feeling. I seem to write a lot of sad songs because I'm a very tragic person. But there's always an element of humour at the end.
Freddie Mercury
#43. I fell in love with her for her sense of humour. If she ever lost her sense of humour, I would have to dump her. Then I'd kill myself because I couldn't live without her.
Dean Koontz
#44. The secret to my success is the love & support of a good bar of chocolate
Ray Daley
#45. She is our dog. And because she is our dog, we can pick out the tiny, almost imperceptible good qualities from the ocean of terrible qualities, and we can cling to them. Because we want to love our dog.
Allie Brosh
#46. I'm definitely responsible for the image that I put out there. But it does become frustrating, because I don't want 'sexy' to be my defining characteristic. I'd love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humour to define me as well.
Eva Mendes
#47. Gentlemen do not carry a cane or a hat? No gloves?"
"Gentleman may still wear them, but I'm afraid the problem is that there aren't many left.
Camilla Isley
#48. Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait.
Jess C. Scott
#49. The ability to laugh at life is right at the top, with love and communication, in the hierarchy of our needs. Humour has much to do with pain; it exaggerates the anxieties and absurdities we feel, so that we gain distance and through laughter, relief.
Sara Davidson
#50. Her lips taste like mint from toothpaste or gum, or sometimes like cherries or grapes from her lip gloss. She's soft when I hold her, with curves where my hands rest, and when I touch her I think stupid caveman things like, mine and totally mine - oh yeah, and all mine.
Susan Vaught
#51. Beware the ideas of March... just one little letter changes the whole meaning. I love the way worms can do that.
Alan Dapre
#52. She was to my ego what Rasputin was to morality, whittling away at my self-image with menaces and put downs viewed as compliments until I realised I was too old, too fat, too tall, too dull, too everything to ever find love.
Tyne O'Connell
#53. Good humour was miles behind a second cup of morning tea. It was too early for nonsense.
Zeenat Mahal
#54. Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn't.
Nick Hornby
#55. Linc was so amazed at what he saw and heard, This is sooo cool. I love this place. This looks way better than a day spotting weird people at Walmart.
S.W. Lothian
#56. I love watching people's faces when i say i live with my daughter and Johnny Depp.
Diane Messidoro
#57. In Japan, people have something called their charm point. A coy smile, a twinkle in the eye, a faultless sense of humour, or a laugh no one has heard in the history of laughs before. The thing that makes others love you.
Christopher Barzak
#58. Well, who doesn't love a good mpreg?"
"A what?"
"Sim gets man-pregnant? Gives birth to twins during a tornado?"
"I'll pretend I never heard that."
"Here, I'll read you the wedding one -"
"NO.
J.C. Lillis
#59. Love isn't blind ... It just involves a lot of looking the other way
Ben Mitchell
#60. For some reason when I type the word "love" in my iPad it keeps autocorrecting to "live". I find it oddly profound. My ipad IS. My iPad is ZEN:
"Only the iPad that autocorrects can write the true thing.
Annastacia Dickerson
#61. Luke diagnosed himself to be in love, and sought no cure for the disease.
Sarah Perry
#62. Tell me when you want to pick it up again."
"Tell me when Satan starts a snowball fight."
"I'll do that. Lunch?
Kelley Armstrong
#63. The salutory effect of surviving a heart-attack: One felt that nothing mattered beyond kindness, good manners and humour
Hugh Massingberd
#64. I have a naturally camp sensibility and a camp sense of humour. I love the icons that gay people love.
Siobhan Fahey
#65. The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.
Heather Hill
#66. Where death gives you a sense of humour, life gives you a sense of love.
Athan Fletcher
#67. I love her and hate her at the same time. I even love the parts of her that I hate, her vitality and her colour, her disruption and disorder, her humour and her despair, her conceit and her narcissism, her everything that isn't me.
Poppy Adams
#68. We choose our favourite author as we do our friend, from a conformity of humour and disposition. Mirth or passion, sentiment or reflection; whichever of these most predominates in our temper, it gives us a peculiar sympathy with the writer who resembles us.
David Hume
#69. I lean over and put my good ear to his lips, which tickle me as he whispers. Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me any time you like it.
Suzanne Collins
#70. I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customised toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph.
Natalya Vorobyova
#71. Women in love are pathetic
and I cannot be bothered, for now,
I am back to metaphysics
and my armpits gather hair.
Mie Hansson
#72. There's always a 'but' when it comes to jobs. Like, I love my job but my colleagues are first-rate, but ... a couple of them like to dress like superheroes on the weekend and I can't help but wonder if they're nuts. - Logan
Nicholas Sparks
#73. It's very important my parent's don't think I'm starting to fall in love with people, because then they might notice that I'm growing up, and I'm kind of trying to keep it a secret. I think it will cause an incident
Caitlin Moran
#74. I love a girl with a good sense of humour, who is confident but who has a sweetness to her - that melts my heart.
Gerard Butler
#75. And the most extraordinary thing is that, in the end, as you grow older, you continue to go poop once a day if you are in good health, while it is not easy to make love every day. So finally, the pleasure is longer-lasting and more frequent than the other.
Guy Fournier
#76. Meet Logan Jackson, smug, self-entitled, proud, arrogant, trust-fund brat.
Ali Harper
#77. A ruby-encrusted orb popped its top and helicopter blades unfolded. Leo was glad Buford the table wasn't here-he would've fallen in love.
Rick Riordan
#79. Alys," he exclaims happily. "I think this might work out. You're going to be excellent in getting rid of unwanted visitors."
"I'm not a fucking Rottweiler," I say indignantly.
Lily Morton
#81. You sharpen your ideas by reducing yourself to the level of the people you are with and a sense of humour and a complete relaxation, even when you're discussing serious things, does help to mobilise friends around you. And I love that.
Nelson Mandela
#82. You know, my poor grandmother once told me that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Life has taught me that it's actually a few inches lower.
Jenifer Mohammed
#83. The heaviness of loss in her heart hadn't eased, but there was room there for humour, too.
Nalo Hopkinson
#84. Although your marrows look very good, it's not them I'm interested in.. (The Honesty Box) Love Potion
Samantha Bacchus
#85. (But he could not bring himself to say he loved her; not in so many words.)
Virginia Woolf
#86. He couldn't just come right out with it, could he? No, that would scare her off. He had to be subtle, build up to it. Explain himself.
"I love you."
Of course, straight to the point was also an effective strategy.
Sarah Mayberry
#87. I don't see anyone else Nell. All I see, all I want, is you.
Lily Morton
#88. If Porter crawled into bed with me, I wouldn't flee the scene right away. I probably wouldn't even kick him out. I might kick him in the gonads and then rub my cheek against his chest because that's the kind of girl I am. Beat them and then treat them.
Meghan Quinn
#89. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
#90. Smirking, he says, Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.
Jenny Han
#92. The Only place to love a man or fight a man is below the belt
Tyne O'Connell
#93. Life is the courier of the universal brilliance. Elysse
Elysse Poetis
#95. I have an agent in Hollywood and he's looking for material. If I get the offer and I feel I relate to that material, I will do it. I would love to do a horror film, a thriller, a tearjerker ... I like diversity. I would just like to sustain my sense of humour!
Carlos Cuaron
#96. You have to take an interest in something in life, I told myself. I wondered what could interest me, after I was finished with love. I could take a course in wine tasting, maybe , or start collecting model aeroplanes
Michel Houellebecq
#97. Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#98. You thought I was peculiar," she said in a muffled voice.
His mouth brushed the edge of her ear and settled against her neck. She felt that he was smiling. "Darling love ... you are.
Lisa Kleypas
#99. Yes, you are still grieving for the fact that Olly is not loving you as you love him. But death is no solution. Certainly not this horrible, messy death. Could you at least not consider possible option that is not leaving you looking diabolical at funeral?"
Oh, for the love of God.
Lucy Holliday
#100. Okay, so how does this work exactly?" I ask as we walk toward his car. "Do we float down the bayou in rowboat while little critters sing 'Kiss the Girl'.
Colleen Hoover
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