Top 100 Quotes About Life Humour
#1. Life is a circus: you go in, bow, run around, bow again and leave.
Storm Petersen
#2. Having had virtually no contact with the outside world for the last few weeks, Evan had temporarily forgotten the social norms governing shopping conduct or approaching celebrities in public.
Zack Love
#3. It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
Jimmy Carr
#4. Sometimes being given the elbow can turn out to be the best hand.
Benny Bellamacina
#6. We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
Douglas Adams
#7. Life is really very fantastic, and one has to have a peculiar sense of humour to see the fun of it.
[Virtue]
W. Somerset Maugham
#8. She's become a Russian again, he thought. When something works, she's grateful. When it doesn't work, it's life.
John Le Carre
#9. I may not hate al of the people all the time, but I hate all of them some of the time, and I hate some of them all of the time.
Kathy McCullough
#10. My father had a good sense of humour about a lot of things, including life, which I think I inherited.
Brian Dennehy
#13. I had wasted my life in the pursuit of a career, romance, financial independence and the best heels in town when it seems I could have done more for my self esteem with a .38 calibre handgun
Tyne O'Connell
#14. Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes
Benny Bellamacina
#16. Colorful characters are the odd shaped pieces that fill the holes in life's puzzle.
Richard Stephens
#17. At no point during the making of this book have I inverted my penis although I did go to Blackpool which turned out to be almost as painful.
Matt Rudd
#18. The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work.
Benny Bellamacina
#19. Reframing your past painful experiences and seeing them in a humorous light takes away the power and emotional charge attached to the memory of the hurtful event.
Miya Yamanouchi
#20. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster.
Noelle Oxenhandler
#21. Without discussing it with his mother, Anton went up to his teacher, Miss Katballe, and informed her that after seven years he was now quitting school. It was the best day of her life, she replied. With unexpected politeness he bowed, thanked her, and said, likewise.
Carsten Jensen
#22. Lord! when you sell a man a book you don't sell just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life. Love and friendship and humour and ships at sea by night - there's all heaven and earth in a book, a real book.
Christopher Morley
#23. Never worry if you're excluded from the circle, sometimes it's full of squares.
Benny Bellamacina
#24. People always say humour helps to avoid the dark things in life. I think it's the opposite. Humour helps us understand and partner with the sadness and beauty of life. And sometimes, because we're bathed in laughter, we are protected. Or at least, humour can help us see the world differently.
Bruce McCulloch
#25. Here is a story in the worst way. I have no business being anywhere in it. It comes between me and the life I have coming.
Gary Lutz
#26. Her computer's fan whirred to life, blowing warm air onto her fingers. Two flame-red slits glowed from the monitor. The speakers boomed. "I lived! I died! I live again!"
Olivie had dealt with blue screens, frozen hourglasses, and even the odd hardware conflict back in the day. This was new.
Choong JayVee
#27. Today I tried to pick up something I was standing on. It didn't work out well.
Peter James West
#29. Christmas comes but once a year, starts in August ends in July
Benny Bellamacina
#30. If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#31. Sometimes you feel amazing about life and other times you just feel fat and depressed, so I think it's good to be honest about that and to make light of it, I think humour is important, nobody's perfect.
Marina And The Diamonds
#32. You can't spell American without "I can.
A.D. Aliwat
#33. It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
Terry Pratchett
#34. Once you have perceived that life is very cruel, the only response is to live with as much humanity, humour and freedom as you can.
Sarah Kane
#35. Darling, whose book is this to be?"
"Ostensibly yours, my sweet"
"I see
rather like my life since I met you?"
"Yes darling
John Wyndham
#36. -I'm a girl, I'm his friend and I'm attractive too, so don't just ignore me like I was a pile of squid guts! She felt like saying back to them.
Andrew James Pritchard
#37. I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!
C. JoyBell C.
#38. Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.
Fakeer Ishavardas
#41. It struck him that how you spent Christmas was a message to the world about where you were in life, some indication of how deep a hole you had managed to burrow for yourself
Nick Hornby
#43. The world has seen more believers in times of troubles than in peace and joy.
Deepak Rana
#44. When an artist friend of mine explained she was working her way up the creative ladder, I asked if she would kindly paint the front of my house on the way up.
Benny Bellamacina
#45. [ ... ] What's wrong with her?"
"Chronic competence, I should guess. She's been so successful in life that she has unrealistic expectations of others.
Brandon Sanderson
#46. Shigure: G'morning.
Tohru: Good morning!
Yuki: Um, Shigure, it's night. Why don't you get a normal sleep pattern?
Shigure: I became an author so I wouldn't have to.
Natsuki Takaya
#48. The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever becoming one."
"Don't vote. It just encourages them ...
Billy Connolly
#49. You ask me why I write. You might as well ask me why I breathe. I need oxygen to feed my body and ink to feed my soul.
Bryce Main
#50. When I am alone in the forest at night-time and jump from one tree to another, I often think that life is so strange.
George Mikes
#52. Life cannot purely rely on thoughts. Action is required with better sence of humour.
Kishore Bansal
#53. If the colour of life turns grey turn the palette the other way
Benny Bellamacina
#54. Sharks don't eat seafood because they like it, but because chicken can't swim.
Michael J. Sullivan
#55. With humour, there is life.
JR
#57. Never in all her life had she imagined that this idolized millinery could look, to those who paid for it, like the decorations of an insane monkey.
Charlotte Perkins Gilman
#58. Life is a huge farce, and the advantage of possessing a sense of humour is that it enables one to defy fate with mocking laughter.
George Gissing
#59. Sasha snorted. "I have never in my extremely long life seen anyone take so long to answer a question. It's like you went into your brain and got lost. you need a bread crumb, buddy?" He made a noise like he was calling his pet. "Here Lassie, here. Come back girl.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#60. I don't talk ill about people I don't know," said Bartleby. "I only disparage them in silence and hope they die.
Michelle Franklin
#61. Never try to swim through a sharp rock.
Go around! Go around!
Peter James West
#62. But now you're unhappy," he pointed out.
"And?" I challenged.
"That doesn't seem fair." He shrugged, but his eyes were still intense.
I laughed without humour. "Hasn't anyone told you? Life isn't fair."
"I believe I have heard that somewhere before," he agreed dryly.
Stephenie Meyer
#63. So what we are right now is a pair of dickweeds in a hotel room in Sydney. My life is royally fucked up right now and from where I'm sitting, your life is even bloody worse.
Dave Gorman
#65. Never make a person feel, that he/she is very (extra) special.. Cause, then that person starts feeling that 'You' are not worth him/her.
Honeya
#66. The old who refuse to die merely on principle live on forever, to hate life and complain of all the things they could have been spared had they the good sense to die young.
Michelle Franklin
#67. Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don't want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled.
Kiera Cass
#69. All young people worry about things, it's a natural and inevitable part of growing up, and at the age of sixteen my greatest anxiety in life was that I'd never again achieve anything as good, or pure, or noble, or true, as my O-level results.
David Nicholls
#70. The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good.
P.G. Wodehouse
#71. I don't "lol". I tried it once but it just didn't agree with me.
R.D. Ronald
#72. Not sweet like fruits, the heart of a maiden is a little sour.
Bunjuro Nakayama
#73. When I was in my early twenties I didn't have a need to rub together, back when my life was a series of wants and whims. But recently I had felt overwhelmed by longings that seemed to lunge out of me in the most awkward situations.
Tyne O'Connell
#75. We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
Douglas Adams
#76. People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones.
Sachin Tendulkar
#77. Facing the backside of the future is the only way to move forward
Benny Bellamacina
#78. So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.
Steven Wright
#79. Whether we are trying to buy a packet of chips or getting to know a person for a potentially important relationship, its nice to have an overview of what it/he/she contains. - Of A Sense of Self
Amrita Sarkar
#80. Humour is ... the all-consoling and ... the all-excusing, grace of life.
C.S. Lewis
#82. Forget it," I said. "Opie could be bloodthirsty, rabid, radioactive, and selling life insurance and he'd still be preferable to listening to the two of you.
John Zakour
#85. I Was Fool Iam Fool But Don't wanna B Fool For My Entire Life ...
Akshay Dubey
#86. The Robespierre women (as one tended to think of them now) were all on display. Madame looked actively, rather intimidatingly benevolent; it was her aim in life to find a Jacobin who was hungry, then to go into the kitchen and make extravagant efforts, and say, "I have fed a patriot!".
Hilary Mantel
#87. Sadly, like many times in life, including winning the lottery, we don't always get what we wish for.
Adele Rose
#88. Does that girl work here?' Robbie asked, gesturing at the screen behind which Mary had disappeared. 'All her life,' Sir Giles said. 'You remember Mary, Thomas?' 'I tried to drown her when we were both children,' Thomas said.
Bernard Cornwell
#89. Again and again, I learn how much friendship enriches my life, bringing warmth, assurance, humour, inspiration, a sense of security. It depends on honesty, trust, loyalty. It's about giving. It's for sharing the good times, but also the tough times, hurt, grief, sadness.
Quentin Bryce
#90. I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.
E.A. Bucchianeri
#91. They all agreed, that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of nature; because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth.
Jonathan Swift
#92. I swiftly discovered that there are few things in DIY (and possibly life) that can't be solved with a large mallet, a bag of ten-centimetre nails and some swearing.
Monty Halls
#93. When you walk into a chocolate store, suddenly the most difficult decision you will ever have to make in your life, is which chocolates to pick! It is pure torture! Especially when you are in Belgium surrounded by Belgian chocolates!
C. JoyBell C.
#94. When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, "You can do this. You've got what it takes." The other sounds like my mother-in-law.
Carla H. Krueger
#95. Some people have great ideas maybe once or twice in their life, and then they discover electricity or fire or outer space or something. I mean, the kind of brilliant ideas that change the whole world.
Some people never have them at all ... I get them two or three times a week.
Neil Gaiman
#96. If you're going to buy a castle, make sure you get on the property extension ladder.
Benny Bellamacina
#97. I am aware, of course, that many men do hate the sight of their wife and children. Doctors even have a name for these people: 'anglers'.
Jeremy Clarkson
#98. Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!
Christina Scalise
#99. I ain't scared to lend a hand
I ain't scared to clench it either
Mie Hansson
#100. When you reach the middle of your career ladder, turn it the other way around and slide down to the top
Benny Bellamacina
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