Top 100 Humor Intelligence Quotes
#1. There are times when I love to play all kinds of complicated games in painting. But this is one case when I need to be fairly straightforward. I'll just try to paint the man, his intelligence, his amiability and his stature, maybe paint him fairly close to humor and try to get it just right.
Nelson Shanks
#2. The main characteristics of effective leadership are intelligence, integrity or loyalty, mystique, humor, discipline, courage, self sufficieny and confidence.
James Fisher
#3. It was rather too late in the day to set about being simple-minded and ignorant.
Jane Austen
#4. Alfred," Merryweather said. "OIPEP is the only organization of its kind in the world, with practically unlimited resources and an intelligence network that spans every country in the planet. We shall do what any powerful, multinational bureaucracy would do in such a crisis. We shall hold a meeting!
Rick Yancey
#5. There is no one who has ever created music with the combination of intelligence, intuition, depth, creativity, and humor that Jerry Garcia has. His work and life will continue to be a limitless source of inspiration for all of us.
Bruce Hornsby
#6. Yes, and had your hotel proved slightly less psychotic, matters would never have got as far out of hand as they have.
Richard K. Morgan
#7. Alternatively, anyone who favors Intelligent Design in lieu of evolution might pause to wonder why God devoted so much of His intelligence to designing malarial parasites.
David Quammen
#8. It is a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.
Andrew Jackson
#9. Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work, yet getting the work done.
Linus Torvalds
#10. Do go on,' he said. 'There's nothing I enjoy more than listening to a highly trained intelligence leapfrogging common sense and coming to the wrong conclusions. It gives me renewed faith in parliamentary democracy.
Tom Sharpe
#11. On April 3, 2014, Jane Goodall turned 80. The iconic blond ponytail has gone gray, but the sparkle of intelligence, sly humor, and fierce dedication still shines from her hazel eyes.
David Quammen
#12. Contemporary poetry is a kind of Reykjavik, a place where accessibility and intelligence have been fighting a Cold War by proxy for the last half-century.
Nick Hornby
#13. Everything is possible in America, except the production of intelligence.
Mie Hansson
#14. In relationships with a directors, I want to be able to give and take, and I can't name what it is: respect, energy, investment in the task, focus, humor, intelligence, but I always feel responsible for taking the money.
Harrison Ford
#15. Ramona chuckled as she picked up her basket and pruning shears. "You, my dear, are wasted out here where no one but the servants are subject to your wry humor and intelligence." I grinned.
L.R. Olson
#16. Intelligence is not found when you have a plan, rather it's measured when you have no clue what you're doing.
Charlie 'Gale'
#17. Beware the humorless. People who are all too serious are missing a key aspect of intelligence, which is perspective!
Catherine Carrigan
#18. He is some brainless, beautiful creature, who should always be here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in the summer when we want something to chill our intelligence.
Oscar Wilde
#19. The Beatles did everything with down-to-earth humor, honesty, optimism, style, charisma, irreverence, intelligence, and a particularly spiky disdain for falseness.
Mark Lewisohn
#20. Bones has always been smart," I muttered. "His intelligence was just camouflaged under a mountain of p**sy."
Cat
Jeaniene Frost
#21. Piers took a leisurely look at Linnet. There was the beauty, sure enough. But it didn't detract from the intelligence in her eyes. And in his opinion the slightly cynical lilt in her voice just made her all the more beautiful, as if Aphrodite had been crossed with Athena.
Eloisa James
#22. The inhabitants of the earth are of two sorts: those with brains, but no religion, and those with religion, but no brains.
Al-Ma'arri
#23. Come! Come sit by me. It's a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt."
"You're drunk."
"Yeah, and you're ugly, but do I complain about it? No! Because I don't complain about things that I can't change. That's called intelligence.
Sara Wolf
#24. I noticed at once that Depp had a dangerously energized intelligence ... He was a suave little brute, but he had a wicked sense of humor and a rare instinct for escalation.
Hunter S. Thompson
#26. I believe that singing is the key to long life, a good figure, a stable temperament, increased intelligence, new friends, super self-confidence, heightened sexual attractiveness, and a better sense of humor.
Brian Eno
#27. I have always been much cleverer in retrospect.
Jaida Jones
#28. Dicky was intelligent but he ended up selling tea because he was socially retarded.
Johnny B. Truant
#29. It did not seem possible, much as he craved the comfort of a woman of intelligence, of humor and balance and perception.
Julie Powell
#30. I value each woman for what she has to offer whether it be charm-beauty-wit-intelligence or humor but warmth is the quality I value most.
Marlon Brando
#31. This book is written with an open mind and it should be read with the same
Adrian Sandvaer
#32. Theology, philosophy, metaphysics, and quantum physics are merely ways for God to have his smart people believe in him
Jeremy Aldana
#33. And it's not my fault that I have a penchant for good breeding, reasonable intelligence, and passable personal hygiene, not necessarily in that order.
Kami Garcia
#34. Um. Ways in which a sentence beginning with the word "missiles" could be a good thing... Nope. I got nuthin'.
Dennis E. Taylor
#35. Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.
Kerry E. Wagner
#36. I am attracted to intelligence, a witty sense of humor, an adventurous outlook on life and spiritual awareness about one's self and the world.
Tanit Phoenix
#37. You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.
Lois Greiman
#38. The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".
Tucker Max
#39. Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
Marilyn Vos Savant
#40. I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.
Alan Bradley
#41. He devoted a considerable amount of his acute intelligence to the cause of doing as little as possible.
James Herriot
#42. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Ambrose Bierce
#43. You are slow for a machine. Are you a Trash-80?
Keith Caserta
#45. Wit penetrates; humor envelops. Wit is a function of verbal intelligence; humor is imagination operating on good nature.
Peggy Noonan
#46. You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well ... we looked at the receipts."
Bill Hicks
#47. I find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sensitivity sexy.
Nicole Appleton
#48. Look, I've got nothing against brains. Some of my best friends have them.
Stephen Colbert
#49. All this talk about artificial intelligence is really just hype, it will take at least fifty years before we have to let them vote.
Kenneth E. Boulding
#50. And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever.
Lois Greiman
#51. He was one of those people with lots of intelligence but no brains
Joseph Heller
#52. The general plot of life is sometimes shaped by the different ways genuine intelligence combines with equally genuine ignorance.
Lucy Grealy
#53. Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same.
Will Cuppy
#54. Wealth and intelligence should not be categorized as relatives.
K.R. Royal
#55. Sense of humor: A thread of illuminated intelligence that links two opposite ideas.
Thomas Lansing Masson
#56. Ian was the kind of smart that makes your straight A student look like she'd drown in a wet paper bag. Ian was the kind of smart that scares people.
Matt K. Turner
#57. I gave up on being Nice. I started putting more value on other qualities instead: passion, bravery, intelligence, practicality, humor, patience, fairness, sensitivity. Those
Anna Kendrick
#58. He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
P.G. Wodehouse
#60. I think that villains who are just brawn, muscles and weapons are boring. So I always try to find intelligence in my villains and also a sense of humor whenever that is possible.
Renny Harlin
#61. I think a man's "wordplay" can be so fucking sexy!!! I love a good mind fuck!!
Junnita Jackson
#62. When the Constitution declares that 'all men are created equal,' it is not referring to intelligence, good looks, good humor, height, weight, or income. It is talking about certain rights, 'inalienable', in that they cannot be taken away.
Elisabeth Elliot
#63. She needed to say something sexy and romantic with a mere hint of her vast intelligence. Something that would entice him into bed.
But what came out was, "I wanna fuck."
-Miki Kendrick
Shelly Laurenston
#64. Reading Claire Cooks novel is like eating some exotic dish about which you say, Wow, this is great! Whats in it? The ingredients here are: intelligence, humor, poignancy, revelation and, perhaps best of all, true originality. Ready to Fall seems to me to be ready to soar.
Elizabeth Berg
#65. Life is all about exploring yourself, discovering yourself and grooming yourself, then you will surely stop negative thinking.
Ehabib
#66. I couldn't claim that I was smarter than sixty-five other guys
but the average of sixty-five other guys, certainly!
Richard Feynman
#67. Rachel delivered it like an official pronouncement. Like she was one of the fairies gifting Sleeping Beauty's christening: Beauty. Intelligence. Heterosexual.
Josh Lanyon
#68. Anyone looking at you would write you off as a brainless nincompoop with about as much intelligence as a dead rabbit.
P.G. Wodehouse
#69. The desert is an unpredictable place. One day you're sweating, the next you're freezing. One moment the air is damp and cloudy like when the tide is coming in, the next the entire world is orange and dusty. The desert must be a woman.
Dianna Skowera
#70. That's what I meant,' said Pippin. 'We hobbits ought to stick together, and we will. I shall go, unless they chain me up. There must be someone with intelligence in the party.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#71. I love a sense of humor, I love intelligence, I love specificity, I love surprises. I'm inspired to get out of bed in the morning and fill my day with good things.
Michael Stuhlbarg
#72. The child probably overheard their voices; for, looking up to the window, with a bright, but naughty smile of mirth and intelligence, she threw one of the prickly burrs at the Reverend Mr. Dimmesdale. The sensitive clergyman shrunk, with nervous dread, from the light missile.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
#73. It isn't as simple as a fascination of the flesh. It's everything about her that I love: her intelligence, her ambition, her talent, her sense of humor, her dependability, her kindness.
Kristen Zimmer
#74. The funny thing was that he wasn't altogether a fool in other ways. Deep down in him there was a kind of stratum of sense. I had known him, once or twice, show an almost human intelligence. But to reach that stratum, mind you, you needed dynamite.
P.G. Wodehouse
#75. My intellect tells me read between the lines.. No need to humor something that is what it is and is not what it was.
Phil Thersby
#76. One will abide, and will confess that another is nobler than he, that another is richer, more handsome, and even that he is more learned, but that another is richer in reason scarcely any will confess: Rare is he who will concede genius.
Juana Ines De La Cruz
#77. He turned to Miss Minerva. "I'm relying on you, at any rate. You've got a good mind. Anybody can see that."
"Thank you," she said.
"As good as a man's," he added.
"Oh, now you've spoiled it!
Earl Derr Biggers
#78. Thinking is good for your mind, but too much thinking leads to distraction.
Ehabib
#79. Like a lot of stupid people, it took a great deal to get an idea into the king's head, but once there, there was no shifting it.
Richard Killeen
#80. The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy because gender doesn't define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do.
Kristen Schaal
#81. If someone is genuine, compassionate and kind, that is a turn-on. A sense of humor is a huge turn on, and that goes hand in hand with intelligence.
Jennifer Nettles
#83. Well there's these things called books.... They are like TV for smart people.
Robert Redford
#84. Maple thought optimistically that human beings, on their good days, weren't much dimmer than sheep. Or at least, not much dimmer than dim sheep.
Leonie Swann
#85. I've always chosen my band members based on their sense of humor. It might sound stupid, but it means not only are they fun to live with on a tour bus for years, but humor implies intelligence.
Kristin Hersh
#86. Were it that intelligence, skill, or quality were prime determinants of success, I might have an easier time of it.
F.F. White
#87. We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
#88. Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.
Carroll Bryant
#89. I wasn't talkative - I simply had too much intelligence up in my head that I always had a brilliant idea to share with everyone at all times.
Nick Nwaogu
#91. Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn't easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels.
The Covert Comic
#92. I visualized myself pulling on my mental thinking cap, jamming it down around my ears as I had taught myself to do. It was a tall, conical wizard's model, covered with chemical equations and formulae: a cornucopia of ideas.
Alan Bradley
#93. Aubrey Davenport was dressed like a fop, had the manners of a fop, and appeared to have the intelligence of a potato.
Marion Chesney
#96. An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
Jef Mallett
#97. I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle ... Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody)
Elizabeth Peters
#98. I've never met a person who has more integrity than my husband. I respect that. There's his humor and intelligence, too, and he's really cute, all those things - but if you don't respect your partner, you'll get sick of him.
Michelle Pfeiffer
#99. How much intelligence does it take to sneak up on a leaf?
Larry Niven
#100. Ka was the essence of teh person: spirit, intelligence, feelings and passions, humor, grudges, annoying television theme songs, all the things that make a person a person and not a nematode.
Mary Roach
