Top 100 Goat Quotes
#1. Living with depression is like trying to keep your balance while you dance with a goat
it is perfectly sane to prefer a partner with a better sense of balance.
Andrew Solomon
#2. If your unicorn shifts disconcertingly between a goat, a horse, a rhinoceros, a marine mammal from the North Atlantic, assorted Tibetan ungulates and a six-eyed ass whose ears will terrify, the work of this book is almost done.
Chris Lavers
#3. Something about the goat dancing made me want to cry.
Susanna Kaysen
#4. Followed like a goat on a halter, hungry dog closing on his just-filled dinner bowl, water-bottle and towel carrier behind the tuba section of a marching band.
Dennis Vickers
#5. He doesn't have the sense God gave a billy goat.
Anonymous
#6. I met a redneck on a Grecian isle who did the Goat Dance very well.
Joni Mitchell
#7. Well, I knew that goat would be a little gold mine," I say.
Yes, of course I was referring to that, not the lasting joy you gave your sister you love so much you took her place in the reaping," says Peeta drily.
Suzanne Collins
#8. Your mother was a goatherder. (Savitar)
It's an honorable profession. (Takeshi)
Yeah, for a goat. (Savitar)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#9. When lions fight over a goat, it's usually the hyena that gets away with the prize.
Ashwin Sanghi
#10. When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
Dennis Miller
#11. Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.
Atticus Aristotle
#12. In a basic agricultural society, it's easy enough to swap five chickens for a new dress or to pay a schoolteacher with a goat and three sacks of rice. Barter works less well in a more advanced economy. The logistical challenges of using chickens to buy books on Amazon would be formidable.
Charles Wheelan
#13. For where shall a man turn who has no money? Where can he go? Wide, wide world, but as narrow as the coins in your hand. Like a tethered goat, so far and no farther. Only money can make the rope stretch, only money.
Kamala Markandaya
#14. Goat made no move to get out. "Billy...this is nuts."
"Yeah, well we left 'sane and normal' behind the first time Volker said 'zombie
Jonathan Maberry
#15. I must capture the flag,' he breathed. 'That's what a pirate captain is supposed to do. Go to the roof, so I can capture the flag and gloat.'
'Capture the flag and goat?'
'Gloat.'
Isabella stood hands on hips. 'It's pronounced goooaaat, idiot.
Eoin Colfer
#16. Home is where you tie up your goat.
Anonymous
#17. Goat curry and a female librarian, that's what I'm in the mood for.
Ben Katchor
#18. In a dead white field an untethered goat gave them sardonic greeting.
Anthony Burgess
#19. You know, Eric, I could have sworn I heard a goat bleating while I was working in the slype yesterday evening.
I expect the Dean had separated it from the sheep, Eric said solemnly. Isn't that what clergy are for?
Catherine Aird
#20. What emerged from the doorway can only be described as how I envision a love-child between Grady from Sanford & Son and a small goat. There before us was The Voodoo Queen.
Scott Burkett
#22. My men like satyrs grazing on the lawns, / Shall with their goat-feet dance an antic hay.
Christopher Marlowe
#23. I can see you are a fine lady, but this boy is randy as a goat around you and it's plain to see. If he seeks the joys of wedded bliss, he can wed you. Without a weddin' he'll be havin' no bliss.
Karen Marie Moning
#24. I learned to fly on a broom," he said, rolling up his sleeves. "I can learn to milk a goat, I bet." Though flying on a broom proved to be the easier task, he found.
Gregory Maguire
#25. goat. His performance was riveting, bolstered as it was with red, swollen eyes, uncombed hair, trembling hands. Had he begun to rent his clothes in grief, Claudia would not have been surprised. She wondered how long he had rehearsed, or if he had at all.
Laura Belgrave
#26. The story of how I left Huckleberry begins
as do all worthy stories
with a goat
John Scalzi
#27. Painting. Carefully, I took down the goat, the chicken, and me and
Susan Vreeland
#28. Harrier says the Wild Magic is as annoying as a goat. And the only other Wildmage either of us has ever met kept hitting him with a wooden spoon. Wildmages aren't like, oh - like Kellen and Idalia and Vestakia the Redeemed in The Book of the Light. They're people.' [Tiercel Rolfort]
Mercedes Lackey
#29. Poetry's packaged as a late-night slot, a quote minority taste unquote, like water-skiing or goat-fucking or something.
Julian Barnes
#30. I also heard that Lord Maxwell keeps a goat in his bedchamber, but you don't see me sending someone to milk it. One mustn't let idle gossip govern one's actions.
Sabrina Jeffries
#31. New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment ... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
Brendan Behan
#32. If a tree is bent, every goat will jump on it.
Eva Stachniak
#33. Dodie: "Mama, Jamie's up on the hill and he's f***g a goat!"
Mama: "Well, it's Jamie's goat, ain't it?"
-Peter Manso illustrates the brash wit pervasive in the Brando family with this exchange between Dodie Brando, Marlon's mother, and her mother in-law.
Peter Manso
#34. What do people get from all that devil mumbo-jumbo anyway?" "A sense of purpose, I guess." "They could volunteer at an animal shelter instead." "Yes, sir. But then they wouldn't get to have group sex while wearing goat horns or kill people for fun.
Dean Koontz
#35. I am pretty much gluten-free; I barely ever eat bread, and the only dairy I eat is Greek yogurt and goat cheese.
Ronda Rousey
#36. I wish you'd be quiet," I muttered. "I also wish we had snowshoes." "You'd need Uller for that," said the goat. "Who?" "The god of snowshoes," said Otis. "He invented them. Also archery and ... I don't know, other stuff.
Rick Riordan
#37. I am a poor mendicant. My earthly possessions consist of six spinning wheels, prison dishes, a can of goat's milk, six homespun loincloths and towels and my reputation, which cannot be worth much.
Mahatma Gandhi
#38. I once had a book on the stars but now I don't. My memory serves but not stellar, ha. So I made up constellations. I made a Bear and a Goat but maybe not where they are supposed to be, I made some for the animals that once were, the ones I know about.
Peter Heller
#39. Pretty soon we'd laced the sneakers over his fake feet, and the world's first flying goat boy was ready for launch.
Rick Riordan
#40. Use the word 'ya'll' and before you knew it, you'd find yourself in a haystack french-kissing an underage goat
David Sedaris
#41. I got up at exactly 6:15 a.m., showered, and did ten minutes of yoga. Then I had a continental breakfast with freshly squeezed orange juice, half a bagel with goat cheese, and a green smoothie, all
Rachel Renee Russell
#42. Tom Cruise only makes one or two film appearances a year. A baseball player can be the hero or the goat one-hundred and sixty-two times a year.
Dave Winfield
#43. one that looked like a cross between a child with Down syndrome and a goat.
Hunter Shea
#44. You cannot stick a knife in a goat and then say, "now I will remove my knife slowly - so let things be easy and clean; let there be no mess." There will always be blood.
Yaa Gyasi
#46. Roderick Morgenstern, who Magnus thought truly deserved to have a name that sounded like a goat chewing gravel, stood up happily to continue his speech.
Cassandra Clare
#48. No matter what anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat. Try fighting with your head for a change
Harper Lee
#49. There's a saying in Hardorn," she continued. "'You shouldn't attempt to teach a goat to sing. It will waste your time, hurt your ears, and annoy the goat.' I can say without fear of contradiction that the goat is getting annoyed.
Mercedes Lackey
#50. Well, that's splendid!" Mr. Goat said. "As long as we preserve our friendship - that's the important thing." "Yes!" Olivia said. "Exactly!" There was a pause. "Can I kiss you?" Mr. Goat said. Olivia groaned. "I just want to be friends," she said firmly. "That's all." "I
Simon Rich
#51. Before Keto could notice, Hedge pointed towards the top of the amphitheater. It looked like he might be screaming, Gods of Olympus, what is that?
Keto turned. Coach Hedge promptly took off his fake foot and ninja-kicked her in the back of the head with his goat hoof.
Rick Riordan
#53. Otis clopped forward and sighed. "Well, if you need a volunteer to die, I suppose I can do it. I've always loved weddings-"
Shut up, dummy!" Marvin said. "You're a goat!
Rick Riordan
#54. The creature bleated like a wounded goat, which is kind of what its face looked like,
Hunter Shea
#55. Being a conservative on campus is like bing a goat amongst the taliban. You are never safe.
Greg Gutfeld
#56. You said something slightly off-color about her shoes and she brought up the fact that you had a slow eye and danced like a goat with a rock stuck in its ass. Ouch. You would just be playing and homegirl would be coming down on you off the top rope.
Junot Diaz
#57. Earl "The Goat" Manigault was probably the greatest basketball player of all time, but Michael Jordan is universally regarded as the best ever. This is because The Goat only did it at Rucker Park, while Michael did it where it mattered: in front of the world.
Tucker Max
#58. A singing goat is like reading books, I love goats and dinosaurs.-Albert Einstein
Andrew Clements
#59. Whatever the rest of the world thinks of the English gentleman, the English lady regards him apprehensively as something between God and a goat and equally formidable on both scores.
Margaret Halsey
#60. Except that now, for having accused Ravi of an unspecified crime he hadn't committed, I was as good as dead. In years subsequent, when he was in the mood to terrorize me, he would whisper to me, Just wait till we're alone. You're the next goat!
Yann Martel
#61. In the 1940s and 1950s, the grass surface on most miniature golf courses was actually goat hair that had been dyed green.
Will Pearson
#62. But beef is rare within these oxless isles; Goat's flesh there is, no doubt, and kid, and mutton; And, when a holiday upon them smiles, A joint upon their barbarous spits they put on.
Lord Byron
#63. Goat face is a horrible insult. My face is practically perfect in every way. In fact, from now on I demand to be called Beautiful Bryan.
Daniel Bryan
#64. But ... that doesn't make any sense ... !'
'It does if you're a goat.
Linda Medley
#65. You can't eat goat," Buck said. "It ain't natural. If God had wanted us to eat goat, he wouldn't've made it taste like shit.
Django Wexler
#66. The term 'pashmina' is often used interchangeably with 'cashmere,' but in reality, pashmina is a specific type of very fine, lofty cashmere, woven from a specific type of goat - one indigenous to northern India, Nepal, and Pakistan, and harvested and woven there as well.
Hanya Yanagihara
#67. That's too bad," Mr. Hall said, opening Door 1. "You've won a goat."
"But you didn't open another door yet or give me a chance to switch."
"Where does it say I have to let you switch every time? I'm the master of the show.
Monty Hall
#68. The grim lioness follows the wolf, the wolf himself the goat, the wanton goat the flowering clover, and Corydon follows you, Alexis. Each is led by his liking.
Virgil
#69. Jane shared his sentiment, but was hard-pressed not to laugh at her husband's inventive turns of phrase - her favourite was "goat-licking amateur," followed closely by "mongrel's handmaiden.
Mary Robinette Kowal
#70. Bullying is wrong. It is not okay to bully others back because they bullied you.
We learned our lesson with Don the Goat
T.R. Durphy
#71. In sports, every day you can be the hero or the goat.
Geoff Stults
#74. It's well known by now that I had a special need to get Maureen's goat when ever the opportunity presented itself. I was a boy and she was the enemy ... a girl.
Christopher Knight
#75. I nodded again, but I knew I would not grow up to drive a bulldozer. It would be awful to be dirty all day like these men. I didn't say it, but at best I would keep one in the backyard, like a goat.
Augusten Burroughs
#76. The President faced the microphone with a look of utter helplessness, like a man reading My Pet Goat to a group of pre-schoolers as a major terrorist attack happens elsewhere.
Mike Resnick
#77. I am a mountain goat that keeps going and going and going, I cannot be stopped, I just keep going.
Sepp Blatter
#78. Goats are fierce, independent, at the beck of no man. Everyone, even the king, respects the goat.
P.J. Hetherhouse
#79. Sacrificing one's life on the altar of literature is in some ways like sacrificing a goat to some malicious spirit. It's not always a humane or necessary decision.
Matthew Specktor
#80. The blood of a goat will shatter a diamond.
Aristotle.
#81. I went to watch the Buzkasgu game taking place on a series of fields - some fallow, some plowed and planted- just to the east of the empty Buddha niches. Buzkashi is a form of polo played with a dead goat instead of a ball.
Rory Stewart
#82. A diamond, which is the hardest of stones, not yielding unto steel, emery or any other thing, is yet made soft by the blood of a goat.
Thomas Browne
#83. With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'
Russell Howard
#84. It was as though the man-eater - for no other leopard would have killed the goat and laid it on the track- had said, 'Here, if you want your goat so badly, take it; and as it is now dark and you have a long way to go, we will see which of you lives to reach the village.
Jim Corbett
#85. You just hold your head high and keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat. Try fightin' with your head for a change.
-Atticus Finch
Harper Lee
#86. Thus proving that books can teach you much, if only to give you a good name for a devilish, smart goat.
Terry Pratchett
#87. Besides, even at night, Memphis is going to be hotter than a billy goat's ass in a pepper patch.
Annie England Noblin
#88. We deal five minutes with a person and their conversion and then we spend the next fifty years trying to disciple a goat into a sheep. I'm not saying this because I'm angry. I'm saying this because countless people are being deceived.
Paul Washer
#89. One day I will rule the world with a goat by my side!
Jhonen Vasquez
#90. There are going to be animals in Heaven. The prophet Isaiah said that the wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, ... and the lion shall eat straw like the ox (Isaiah 11:6-9).
David Berg
#91. It's bad enough in life to do without something YOU want; but confound it, what gets my goat is not being able to give somebody something you want THEM to have.
Truman Capote
#92. I could hear my dogs barking. Worse I could hear bleating. Joyful goat chuckles of freedom.
"The goats!" I clutched my head, an absurdly melodramatic reaction suited to this farce. "The goats were in the tree!"
"The ... Wait, what?
Rosemary Clement-Moore
#93. Inside, the doctor filled an eyedropper with goat milk and began to drip it into the back of the marten's throat. It filled him with immense medical satisfaction when eventually it urinated on the knee of his trousers. This indicated healthy renal functioning.
Louis De Bernieres
#94. The goat, for us, is an image that's stuck in our heads since we were kids, coming from Iowa people are like 'Beware the horned goat of satan!' and all that. It's bullshit. It's just an animal.
Corey Taylor
#95. I'd be happier on a horse," Makin said.
"I'd be happier on a giant mountain goat," I said. "One that shat diamonds. Until we find some, we're walking.
Mark Lawrence
#96. If we didn't live venturously, plucking the wild goat by the beard, and trembling over precipices, we should never be depressed, I've no doubt; but already should be faded, fatalistic and aged.
Virginia Woolf
#97. I always thought it was a goat that kicked me over the fence. My mama told me the other day it was a cow. Now I'm sort of scared of both.
Kelsea Ballerini
#98. If a mind is just a few pounds of blood, urea, and electricity, how does it manage to contemplate itself, worry about its soul, do time-and-motion studies, admire the shy hooves of a goat, know that it will die, enjoy all the grand and lesser mayhems of the heart ?
Diane Ackerman
#100. We had three cows and a goat. People from New York and L.A. are like, 'Oh my gosh, that's a farm!' But people in Tennessee are like, 'That's not a farm.' I've never milked a cow or anything like that.
Kelsea Ballerini
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