Top 100 Bachelor Quotes
#1. Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
Helen Rowland
#2. Danbury wasnt a prison, it was a crime school. I went in with a Bachelor of marijuana, came out with a Doctorate of cocaine.
George Jung
#3. A bachelor lives like a king and dies like a beggar.
L. S. Lowry
#4. Throughout any given season of 'The Bachelor,' the women exclaim that the experience is like a fairy tale. They suffer the machinations of reality television, pursuing - along with several other women, often inebriated - the promise of happily ever after.
Roxane Gay
#5. The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.
P. J. O'Rourke
#6. A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
Earl Wilson
#7. I did graduate with a bachelor's degree in civil engineering in 1948.
Daniel J. Evans
#8. I never shall be an old maid, because I have elected to be a Girl Bachelor.
Kate Bolick
#9. I just - I like the saccharin and the gooeyness of 'Bachelor,' and how just gross and like falsely romantic it is. Whereas, like, the 'Real Housewives' is just raw, and it's just - it's the fights that get me. It's just very uncomfortable for me.
Ken Marino
#10. He took her up in his arms in the way of a bachelor who has had amateur experience of the carrying of nieces.
William Pett Ridge
#11. Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
#12. Loving an old bachelor is always a no-win situation, and you come to terms with that early on, or you go away.
Jean Harris
#13. Marriage is like retiring as a bachelor and getting a sexual pension. You don't have to work for the sex any more, but you only get 65% as much.
Aristotle.
#14. Women who are interested in pursuing bachelor's and master's degrees - especially in STEM fields - benefit from starting at a community college. They offer an affordable education, with flexible schedules and degrees close to home.
Jill Biden
#15. I like to stretch my mind by reading and writing and watching educational TV shows like The Bachelor to learn the complex mating rituals of heterosexuals.
Ellen DeGeneres
#16. When a man has seen the woman whom he would have chosen if he had intended to marry speedily, his remaining a bachelor will usually depend on her resolution rather than on his.
George Eliot
#17. I'm a wanted fugitive, and you're an upstanding bachelor of the year!
S.L. Wallace
#18. I'd trained at the University of Washington and had a Bachelor of Fine Arts in acting.
Gregg Henry
#19. I have a lot of influences. I'm American-schooled. I'm classically trained. I'm a pretty universal student, if you will. I have a lot of degrees, which really don't pay the rent. I have two doctorate degrees, I have a bachelor's degree, but I'm still a cook.
Emeril Lagasse
#20. What I've learned from fatherhood is that having a son cannot, did not, change my love for The Bachelor! I thought that having a son would make me grow up when it came to my TV viewing habits, but I love The Bachelor even more after having a child.
Jason Biggs
#21. I am an unmarried man, as opposed to a single man. A bachelor, according to the dictionary, is a man who has never been married. An unmarried man is not married at the moment. Many of these terms have fallen into disuse.
Raymond Burr
#22. There are some women whose pregnancy would make some sly bachelor smile.
Honore De Balzac
#23. I watch 'The Bachelor'. It's one of those things where I always think if it didn't exist and it was on 'SNL,' we would think it would be a ridiculous, funny idea. But it actually exists ... It's a glorious train wreck that I love to watch.
Jamie-Lynn Sigler
#24. Old Cob tucked away his bowl of stew with the predatory efficency of a lifetime bachelor.
Patrick Rothfuss
#25. He smells of secondhand cigar smoke and a brew of perfumes from his bachelor party, but it would be enticing foreplay to shower him fresh before sullying him anew.
Valentine Glass
#26. The best thing for a bachelor is to get a wife who will really cooperate in the great work.
Samael Aun Weor
#27. You're in luck, my lady, for I am no longer a bachelor. I am very much taken by your eyes, your touch, and, most importantly, your love.
Kelly Elliott
#28. During December we are all ingesting, imbibing, and spending with a reckless abandon like a bachelor party on a guilt-free boondoggle. Everyone has the unspoken agreement that what happens in December stays in December.
Jim Gaffigan
#29. Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.
Lady Bird Johnson
#30. I was graduated in 1940 with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Social Science but a major in Mathematics, a paradoxical combination that was prognostic of my future interests.
Kenneth Arrow
#31. He was a prosperous old bachelor, and his open window looked into a prosperous little garden and orchard, and there was a prosperous iron safe let into the wall at the side of his fireplace, and I did not doubt that heaps of his prosperity were put away in it in bags.
Charles Dickens
#32. I only have a Bachelor's Degree but I've had professors who have instilled this kind of academic rigor in me where I don't make any generalizations or closed statements. There always has to be room for interpretation.
Ayshay
#33. Before I got married, I never really watched TV. Now, my husband and I watch 'The Bachelor' together. I love 'The Soup' - that's where I get a lot of my pop culture - and 'Chelsea Lately.'
Dylan Lauren
#34. I'm married to a dear little girl who holds a bachelor's degree from the University of Pennsylvania and a master's degree from the University of Pennsylvania and a Ph.D. degree from the University of Pennsylvania.
Percy Julian
#36. When God saved me, He gave me a thirst to learn and to read and to study. I thrived in college. I got a bachelor's degree in philosophy and then went to Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando.
Tullian Tchividjian
#37. Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.
Wanda Sykes
#38. I am content in bachelor life, but at moments like this, I admit to old-fashioned sexist longing. Sometimes I cook up comfort food, but cooking your own comfort food is akin to scratching your own back. Same sensation, less watts.
Michael Perry
#39. As soon as I check into a hotel, I get butt naked and I watch super trash TV like 'Storage Wars' and 'The Bachelor.'
Mary Lambert
#40. Grauman died of heart failure in the spring of 1950, died a bachelor, aged seventy-one, and the only people at his deathbed were his doctor, his secretary for the past twenty-one years, and the publicity chief of 20th Century - Fox. Long
Otto Friedrich
#41. I don't recommend being a bachelor, but it helps if you want to write.
Nelson Algren
#42. You should seriously get a job planning dates for The Bachelor.
Nicki Elson
#43. It takes a long time to become a lawyer because you need three things - a bachelor's degree, a law degree, and a desire to worship Satan.
Craig Ferguson
#44. You can't sit down in a bachelor's house without getting sick with cooties from the dirt and built-up grime, but you can eat off the barrel of his gun.
Deb Baker
#45. Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
Helen Rowland
#46. In his bachelor's heart of hearts, he loved pie with an intensity that alarmed him. Yet, when he was offered seconds, he usually refused. "Wouldn't you like another piece of this nice coconut pie, Father?" he might be asked. "No, I don't believe I'd care for anymore," he'd say. An outright lie!
Jan Karon
#47. That day will never come. I'll be the last bachelor standing." Dylan made a show of looking at his watch. "And if I hustle, I can still meet, mingle and be the answer to some woman's sexual prayers. Let's hit it before she settles on second best.
Jory Strong
#48. I am not fond of the prattle of children,' he continued; 'for, old bachelor as I am, I have no pleasant associations connected with their lisp. It would be intolerable to me to pass a whole evening tete-a-tete with a brat ...
Charlotte Bronte
#49. I congratulate NUS for launching a new degree, a bachelor of environmental studies. This is a most timely initiative. One of the biggest challenges facing Asia is to reconcile Asia's rapid economic development with care for the environment.
Tommy Koh
#51. Finally, my mother's training will be put to good use. Never mind finding an eligible bachelor, I mean to find a murderer.
Alyxandra Harvey
#52. The trouble with marriage is that, while every woman is at heart a mother, every man is at heart a bachelor.
E. V. Lucas
#53. I'm a bachelor in the old sense of the word, meaning I flirt, I have very many close relationships, but then I come home and like to read my book.
William Ivey Long
#54. I happen to hold a bachelor of science degree in geology ... And my greatest contribution to the field of science is that I never entered it.
Colin Powell
#55. As a walled town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead of a married man more honorable than the bare brow of a bachelor.
William Shakespeare
#56. I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.
Jeff Dunham
#57. A politician ought to be born a foundling and remain a bachelor.
Lady Bird Johnson
#58. I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day.
Seann William Scott
#59. By his own account he had no real contact with the local colony of his countrymen and virtually no social intercourse with the Russian families and so resigned himself to becoming an incurable bachelor.
Franz Kafka
#60. What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes "my dear," and "my love" come from the heart; but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
Mark Twain
#61. Jesus was a bachelor and never lived with a woman. Surely living with a woman is one of the most difficult things a man has to do, and he never did it.
James Joyce
#62. A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
Ed Wynn
#63. I have a Bachelor of Arts in English, which means I had a lot of formal training in reading.
Kate DiCamillo
#65. I have a Bachelor in medicine, a Bachelor in surgery, and I am a Fellow of the Royal College of Surgeons.
Hasnat Khan
#66. Sounds like a plan. I owe Tammy a big thank-you." Ty sighed. "I think I'm too old for this bachelor party crap."
"We'll be planning yours soon enough."
That was so not appealing, Ty was almost scared. "Let's just go fishing and call it good."
"Done.
Erin McCarthy
#67. Music pulled me like a gravitational force. I entered college as a physics major but left as a Bachelor of Music, a degree with the same practical application as, say, one in the History of Chinese Poetry.
Marshall Brickman
#68. Hey 'Bachelor,' take notes! Trusting one another and sharing a journey to health leads to lasting relationships!
Alison Sweeney
#70. Val is a bachelor farmer in his seventies, so he should, by rights, be half mad.
Anne Enright
#71. You know how comfortably you go on as a bachelor, and how very much you would dislike to be tied to a wife's apron-strings."
He laughed a little ruefully, but denied it. "I shouldn't dislike being tied to your apron-strings.
Georgette Heyer
#72. Lester Coggins was a lifelong bachelor who as an adolescent had suffered nightmares of masturbating and looking up to see Mary Magdalene standing in his bedroom doorway.
Stephen King
#73. Giving up all notions about country, caste, blemishless community,asrama (status as a bachelor, family man, ascetic or one who has renounced the world) and associated matters, hold on to and practise always meditation upon the Self, your own natural state.
Ramana Maharshi
#74. The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.
P. J. O'Rourke
#75. A college education I would never propose - a bachelor's degree won't even keep you in clothes
Cole Porter
#76. Professional Gaming, or e-Sports as it's now called, is a multi-million dollar industry in Korea. You can even get a bachelor's degree in e-Sports.
Anonymous
#77. I love 'The Bachelor!' Yeah, all people love 'The Bachelor.'
Brittany Snow
#78. Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
Helen Rowland
#79. I was just on the edge of getting married, and I was frenzied at the prospect of this great step in my life after having been a bachelor for so long. And I really wanted to take my mind off of the agony, and so I decided to sit down and write a book.
Ian Fleming
#80. I spent three years at RMIT doing a bachelor of arts and media studies. It was a hugely formative experience. As someone who had a private Catholic school upbringing, the world suddenly became a much bigger and better place for me.
Sonya Hartnett
#81. I've never been a manipulator, even in my bachelor days. I never wanted to do things to people that could catch up with me later on.
Matthew McConaughey
#82. It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.
H.L. Mencken
#83. I am ashamed to admit I watch a lot of reality shows like The Osbournes and The Bachelor.
Sara Gilbert
#85. You know how funerals are not for the dead, they're for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they're for the uncommitted.
Bill Murray
#86. He's a young man, my own age or a little older, which is young for a man although not for a woman, as at my age a woman is an old maid but a man is not an old bachelor until he's fifty, and even then there's still hope for the ladies, as Mary Whitney used to say.
Margaret Atwood
#87. When people are on 'The Bachelor' it gives them the opportunity to put their best foot forward, especially when you're around the 'Bachelor' or the 'Bachelorette;' that one person who you're vying for attention with.
Jake Pavelka
#89. I'm a lifelong bachelor, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't marry the right woman.
Richard Roeper
#90. When the prepared foods and drip-dry shirts that had eased the work of homemakers also made it possible for men to live comfortable, if sloppy, bachelor lives . . .
Stephanie Coontz
#91. A married man has many cares, but a bachelor no pleasures.
Samuel Johnson
#92. Russia's Vladimir Putin appeared in public for the first time after a mysterious 10-day absence. Putin said it took him that long to recover from the finale of 'The Bachelor.'
Conan O'Brien
#93. I will only think of settling down after Salman Khan, the other most eligible bachelor, plans to settle down. We are eligible bachelors, but he's the rock star, so let him get married first; then I'll think about myself.
Yuvraj Singh
#94. I have a bachelor's and a master's in jazz.
Jon Secada
#95. The time between Bachelor's degree and a PhD, the median time is over 11 years. So then you're still only on a tenure ladder, you're not tenured. So it generally takes 6 to 8 years after that to get tenure. So that's a very long period of what's essentially apprenticeship, of insecurity.
Louis Menand
#96. The happy married man dies in good stile at home, surrounded by his weeping wife and children. The old bachelor don't die at all - he sort of rots away, like a pollywog's tail.
Charles Farrar Browne
#97. I'm probably the only member of the 'Bachelor' cast without an agent!
Jake Pavelka
#98. It is quite beneath the dignity of a person holding a Bachelor of Arts degree to engage in such a vulgar occupation as the writing of novels.
Fukuzawa Yukichi
#99. One bachelor is an irritation. Ten thousand bachelors are a war.
Orson Scott Card
#100. Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.
Jeph Jacques
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