Wife Like You Quotes

#1. [Apostol Paul's] views were translated as, "Your rule is to be kind to black people; you don't beat them." It's very much the way we treated women in the 14th and 15th centuries. A woman was not human, and you should be kind to your wife like you are to all dumb animals. That was the mentality.

John Shelby Spong

#2. My wife has helped me with a lot of things. She's also got me to like a lot of different things like sushi. I never would have tried that if it weren't for her. I also went to Hillsong (Church) in New York for the first time with her. It's fun to experience new things with the person you love.

Jrue Holiday

#3. You meet people who say, "Oh, I'd like to do such-and-such, but I don't have the time." But it always seemed to me like you make the time. And if you have a wife or a job, if you have kids or whatever, you find a way. If you really want to do it, you make the time.

David Sedaris

#4. My father always says, choosing a wife is like putting your hand into a bag full of writhing creatures, with one eel to six snakes. What are the chances you will pull out the eel?

Hilary Mantel

#5. I have Asperger's Syndrome. I am an Aspergirl, I am a mom, I am a wife, and I am an individual who sees things in a unique way. I am just like you, only different because I am me.

Jeannie Davide-Rivera

#6. Some clown shouting, "I want my lawyer, I want my lawyer, you guys run this place just like a frigging prison." Burkes: "Shut up in there, or I'll rank you." The clown: "I ranked your wife, Burkie." Gonyar:

Stephen King

#7. He beat me when you not here, I say.
Who do, she say, Albert?
Mr , I say.
I can't believe it, she say. She sit down on the bench next to me real hard, like she drop.
What he beat you for? she ast.
For being me and not you.

Alice Walker

#8. I stopped smoking weed for my kids. One day, we were driving and you could smell it from somewhere. My daughter asked what the smell was so I told her it was a skunk. Then she said, 'Sometimes Daddy smells like that!' to me and my wife. So I knew I had to quit.

Mark Wahlberg

#9. Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

Garry Shandling

#10. My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more.

Tom Arnold

#11. I just look for interesting supporting-biggish supporting parts, and try to do one a year, and that's my limit. Some women can do it and that's fantastic, but I can't. You make choices as a wife and mother, don't you? You can't have it all. I don't care what it looks like.

Gwyneth Paltrow

#12. I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.

Frank Carson

#13. Suddenly it felt like there was a ticking time bomb in the house. I didn't have all the time in the world to make you love me again; I had only a few short months.

Natasha Anders

#14. Let me tell you something, my wife died for Tuesdays ago. Cancer of the colon. We were married forty-one years. Now you stop feeling sorry for yourself and lose some of that pork of yours. Pretty girl like you - you don't want to do this yourself.

Wally Lamb

#15. Did you see Walker's father? 'My son loves America.' Yeah, like O.J. loved his wife.

Jay Leno

#16. So you went to the doctor. What did he say? - He said I have to start killing people like my boss and my wife. - WHAT? - Well, not in those exact words. He said I need to reduce the stress in my life. But that's exactly the same thing.

Donald Shaw

#17. I tried to get people at 'South Park' into 'Downton Abbey,' and it didn't work. I think they were like, 'Downton Abbey?' What?' And I kinda made a big plea in the writer's room, like, 'Guys, you should really watch it. It's good. It's addicting. My wife and I are obsessed with it.'

Bill Hader

#18. Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.

Jerry Lawler

#19. In L.A., you work like hell because there is nothing else to do, unless you're cheating on your wife.

Howard Fast

#20. I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor's wife right now.

Ellen DeGeneres

#21. Husband, when you tell your wife to go for counseling alone (because you think going to see a counselor is a sign you have failed) is like having a car you love overheat and deciding it's not manly to take it to the mechanic. You can keep on driving it but eventually you will ruin the engine.

Adam Hamilton

#22. Siren voices tell me, 'You don't have to keep going on.' And then you think, 'I'm a writer. What do I do? Sit there watching my wife clean up?' I don't know. I like being a writer.

Terry Pratchett

#23. There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? What happened to it, is what I'd like to know. I wish someone could tell me.

Raymond Carver

#24. I will never shave off my beard and moustache. I did once, for charity, but my wife said, 'Good grief, how awful, you look like an American car with all the chrome removed.'

Rolf Harris

#25. Succeeding in life and business is like falling in love with your wife (for those of you that are married). You can't leave your wife at the mercy of another man and feel safe.

Nkem Paul

#26. My wife gets asked all the time, 'Ugh, how can you be married to that guy?' She's like, 'Hey, he's not yelling and screaming at me!'

Steve Wilkos

#27. I'm just like any other regular mum; cooking, cleaning, wiping butts, picking up after kids, being a wife and helping the kids with their homework. Mind you, I'm terrible at maths. I can't even do my six-year-old's maths homework with her.

Gwyneth Paltrow

#28. It's like when a guy gets a divorce from his wife. You part ways. That's what I did with The Beach Boys.

Brian Wilson

#29. He would say things like, "But you are my wife!" when I didn't do something that he wanted me to do. His expectations were not realistic.

Brenda Perlin

#30. My wife and I have our date nights. We love the Showtime shows like 'Shameless,' 'Homeland' and 'House of Lies.' And of course, 'Scandal' is high on the list; you've got to do 'Scandal.'

Glynn Turman

#31. JOE: You said my wife. And I want to know, is she -
PRIOR: TALK TO HER YOURSELF, BULLWINKLE! WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR?

Tony Kushner

#32. I like to stay home with my family. But travel is good in a way. It makes you redefine each other each time you see each other. Also, it helps that I think my wife is the hottest woman in the world.

Mads Mikkelsen

#33. The wife whose sweetly given reply in the face of any problem would be, "Whatever you think is best, dear." Women, take note: a wife like that never needs to fear bubbling away the last of her life through a cut throat.

Stephen King

#34. You're a domestic man, David. You feel hundreds of small affections all the time. They haunt every friendly pillow and comfortable chair like household gods. Together they add up to a great love, big enough to ignore this silly man who's hanging around your wife's skirts.

J.G. Ballard

#35. I've met men who've stood in long lines on my book tours, and they've said things like, 'I've read your books and they've changed the direction in my life, and I want to thank you.' I think they're standing in line for their wife or their mother or their sweetheart or somebody, but no.

Beverly Lewis

#36. It's like every day is the worst day of your life. And you're trapped and you're scared and you have to portray those emotions in every take and really take yourself to those places. (about her role as an abused wife in ENOUGH.

Jennifer Lopez

#37. You're asking somebody who has a wife and is really happily married, 'So, what's your next wife going to be like?' And I'm like, 'What?'

Travis Kalanick

#38. Being asked to play one of the butlers is like being picked to play for England. All you have to do is think of the great butlers from the past - Terry-Thomas in 'How To Murder Your Wife,' John Gielgud in 'Arthur' and Denholm Elliott in 'Trading Places.'

Mark Williams

#39. Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

Jeff Foxworthy

#40. My first wife was like the rash you get from poison ivy. I couldn't stand her, but I couldn't keep my hands off her. She was an itch I scratched until I bled
and then I scratched it some more!

Joe Hill

#41. Sandy's was one of those places that made poor, white trash feel like high-class consumers. This was the kind of place you'd take your mistress to, but never your wife. Wives expected better. Mistresses were impressed by the blandness of the over-priced wine and the vast Italian menu options.

Alistair Cross

#42. She will never make a good submissive. She's too dainty, and fucking easily bruised. Don't you think I've considered it? She's a trophy wife. I keep her like I would a bloody porcelain doll. Pretty to look at, and great for the portfolio that's all she will ever be good for.

Sai Marie Johnson

#43. Good sex is an all-day affair. You can't treat your wife like a servant and expect her to be eager to sleep with you at night. Your wife's sexual responsiveness will be determined by how willingly you help out with the dishes, the kids' homework, or that leaky faucet that drips throughout the night.

Kevin Leman

#44. Wife," I say, staring straight into her eyes. "Think what you want, but there isn't a single woman in this whole damn universe that I could ever love like I love you.

Colleen Hoover

#45. Goddess, ... do not be angry with me about this. I am quite aware that my wife Penelope is nothing like so tall or so beautiful as yourself. She is only a woman, whereas you are an immortal. Nevertheless, I want to get home, and can think of nothing else.

Homer

#46. New York is a great place to be if you want to make an impact and be involved in charities or philanthropic organizations like my wife and I are.

Justin Tuck

#47. A wife can give you strife. A wife can act like a knife, and a wife can help you have a good life. And the same goes for husbands.

Art Hochberg

#48. Let me tell you something, I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law, the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry ... yeah, we can do that.

Richard Fish

#49. I like to see you in a sari, with your long hair dressed in a single plait. Don't forget that I married a girl from India because I like my wife to be conservative and feminine.

K. Kanagalatha

#50. My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

Dave Barry

#51. Once when I asked you if you still loved your wife, you said, Love leaves the back door open. Later, you said, Love like a hospital gown opens at the back. And you slipped out.

Joan Connor

#52. Pray for anything you like, if it is for the good of us all.
-I pray for beer, for meat and for a new wife with hard hands. You can share the wife.

Ernest Hemingway,

#53. What are you cooking this night, wife?" One of the crepes picked that moment to dislodge itself from the ceiling. It landed at her feet with a plop as if on cue. "Crepes." She kept a straight face and tried to look like this was the normal way to make crepes.

Shelly Thacker

#54. I had a dog. Ex-wife took him, and the house."
Is that why you like country music?"
He eased himself our of the closet. "Huh?"
"Just a joke. Sorry about your dog.

Jeri Smith-Ready

#55. Listen carefully. I'd crush you like a bug for causing my wife one single moment of pain. Believe it. Fear it.

J.D. Robb

#56. Reading someone else's newspaper is like sleeping with someone else's wife. Nothing seems to be precisely in the right place, and when you find what you are looking for, it is not clear then how to respond to it.

Malcolm Bradbury

#57. I'm constantly struggling. You know, the stories that I feel like I could cover, do the work that I want to do and being a mother. That's really where my struggle is - and being a wife and having a life - and for me it's really hard to find that balance. I'm always struggling to find that balance.

Lynsey Addario

#58. Wife credit is like a piece of fish. As soon as you get it, it starts to go bad.

King Of Queens

#59. You're like my wife."
"Because I'm not sleeping with you either?

Richard Castle

#60. To his ex-wife in court, he said I lost interest in you when the Botox lost its effect and you looked like a plastic doll that escaped from a fire.

Peter Jackson

#61. All moms need confidants who are in their shoes and can relate to what they're going through. You need a night out together to be who you are, and not feel like you have to be the career woman, wife and mommy
all at once. After all, we're not superwomen.

Jessica Alba

#62. I like you, Miss York, because you are wicked, and there can be no finer blessing for a man than a good and wicked wife. Wouldn't you agree?

Victoria Dahl

#63. An artist, if you'd really like to know who's fucking your wife.

Pella Grace

#64. This would be a perfect day if Ray were here with us, but he's not far away. He's doing well, and I know he'd like to enjoy yourself, Ana. To all of you, thank you for coming to share my beautiful wife's birthday, the first of many to come. Happy birthday, my love. - Christian Grey

E.L. James

#65. Turner let his face fell into his hands. "I'm never going to touch her again", he moaned.
"He's never going to touch me again!" they heard Miranda roar.
"Well,it doesn't look like you'll have much argument from your wife on that point", Olivia chirped.

Julia Quinn

#66. British rain was rarely that simple. For days on end, instead of falling, it simply hung around in the air like a wife waiting for you to notice she was sulking.

Ruth Downie

#67. My wife and I just prefer Seattle. It's a beautiful city. Great setting. You open your front door in the morning and the air smells like pine and the sea, as opposed to bus exhaust.

Ron Reagan

#68. And you, my Sassenach? What were you born for? To be lady of a manor, or to sleep in the fields like a gypsy? To be a healer, or a don's wife, or an outlaw's lady?"
"I was born for you," I said simply, and held out my arms to him.

Diana Gabaldon

#69. We were at a beach one summer, and I had a bathing suit on. My wife looked at me and said: 'Boy, you are skinny, aren't you?' I said: 'Honey, I'd like to remind you that it was minor defects like this that kept me from getting a better wife.'

Lou Holtz

#70. On Furnishing One's Home
Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.

Justin Halpern

#71. How can you rest peacefully when your wife doesn't even look like the same woman you married fifteen years ago? It's obvious Farren was unappreciated, and he wanted to be elsewhere, but oh well.

Nako

#72. I am tired of all these golfers who are happy with second place. The only one who will like you if you come in second place is your wife and your dog. And that is only if you have a good wife and a good dog.

Gary Player

#73. As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.

Jim Gaffigan

#74. the English explorer Richard Burton told the story of an Englishman finding his new wife unconscious on the marital bed, having chloroformed herself. She had pinned a note to her nightdress which read: 'Mama says you're to do what you like.

Sam Miller

#75. Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now ... ? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.

Nick Frost

#76. You're coming up to the main house and that's final. I'm laying down the law. I know somewhere in there you're arguing with me, but I'm not taking no for an answer. You have no choice but to obey me. How do you like that, wife?

Mia Sheridan

#77. If I go out with a jacket and a pair of trousers that my wife doesn't like, you can bet your ass it ain't in my wardrobe the following day. I say that it gets lost in the sky.

Ozzy Osbourne

#78. It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says Hey, you moving? Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign.

Bill Engvall

#79. Then you shouldn't have thrown her away when she was your wife. Now she ain't. Now she's somethin' to me and I don't let men I don't like get close to her and I gotta tell you man, I do not like you.

Kristen Ashley

#80. Like your job. Love your wife.

John Candy

#81. So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: You know, maybe you're suffering from premature ejaculation. Yeah, does it look like I'm suffering? Those aren't tears on your belly.

Robert Schimmel

#82. I think you will like your life in the Transport Service, but it'll be far from normal. Being a slave ... or a goatherd's wife ... is closer to normal. A deep-space response ship pilot is a very, very rare thing.

J.Z. Colby

#83. Because, shit for brains, she'd like you to disappear and leave her alone. I'm sure she'd like to stuff you in a hole, but since that isn't going to happen, second choice is you go home to your new wife and leave her the hell alone. You get that? Greg

Robyn Carr

#84. Zach kissed her forehead. I'm not going to let anything like that happen to you again. You're going to live out your days as the cosseted and cherished wife of a chief deputy U.S. Marshal.

Pamela Clare

#85. Would you like to become my wife?"
"Imbecile! What a question. It's my greatest dream!!!

Marjane Satrapi

#86. I was blessed that I got married early and had a good wife. That sort of kept me straight. Probably I would have been like Charlie Parker, you know, involved in drugs or alcohol or something like that if I hadn't had this stability.

Dizzy Gillespie

#87. In the words of Richard Driehaus, "The stock market is like a woman. You observe her. You respond to her. And you respect her." That is not as easy as it sounds. Just ask my ex-wife.

Gary Antonacci

#88. What are you grinning about, wife?"
I shrugged, all nonchalant. "I like your truck."
"Good. Apparently, it's half yours.

Kresley Cole

#89. It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Frank Carson

#90. I don't think there has been a single thing in the history of forever that my wife hasn't accomplished once she set her mind to it." "Only you could find a way to make absolute, unrepentant stubbornness sound like a virtue and not a sin.

L.M. Pruitt

#91. There's nothing like the first kiss once you've been pronounced husband and wife. It's such a wonderful moment!

Sara Ramirez

#92. Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.

P. J. O'Rourke

#93. Jimmy: You'll end up like one of those chocolate merengues my wife is so fond of [Alison starts banging jars] ... sweet and sticky on the outside, and sink your teeth in it [savouring every word]-inside, all white, messy and disgusting. [offering teapot sweetly to Helena] Milk?

John Osborne

#94. Let me introduce you to my wife." It was the first time Edward had said that word since it was officially true; he seemed like he would explode with satisfaction saying it now. The Denalis all laughed lightly in response. "Tanya, this is my Bella.

Stephenie Meyer

#95. You must avoid giving hostages to fortune, like getting an expensive wife, an expensive house, and a style of living that never lets you aford the time to take the chance to write what you wish.

Irwin Shaw

#96. My daughter is full energy, like my wife and I, and strong-minded and has an opinion, like we do. And my boys, one's a bit more calm and chill, and the other is much more sensitive to things. You see this right away, when they're first born. One cried, one didn't, with the boys.

Chris Hemsworth

#97. I love 'Love Actually.' 'Love Actually,' there's, like, nine stories in that movie. Three of them are good. But watching that movie, I get emotional, I get choked up, my wife makes fun of me. I don't know if as you get older you get sappier and sentimental.

Ike Barinholtz

#98. My wife says that I changed people's lives or ways of thinking and that I should always be proud and grateful. If I'm dismissive of what we do sometimes, a little bit, she's like, "I was a fan, you changed my life," or whatever. That's what she says.

Stephen Malkmus

#99. Georgie pretended to dance. She clung to Neal's shirt. They rubbed their noses together. "You're my wife," Neal said, and then he laughed, and she tried to catch his dimples with her teeth. (Like if she caught them she might get to keep them.)
"Yours," she said.

Rainbow Rowell

#100. Buying my wife a gun sort of like me saying, ' You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise'.

Marc Maron