When Your Drunk Quotes

#1. I also say you can tell your true friends, by the ones who put a bucket by your bed when your drunk and going to be sick - (my quote - so proud)

J. Yates

#2. What your body does is unrelated to your heart. Don't believe it. The same survey reports that hooking up commonly takes place when both participants are drinking or drunk, and it's not hard to guess the reason why: After a certain amount of this, you may need to get drunk to go through with it.

J. Budziszewski

#3. If a man can only write well when drunk, I'll tell him: get drunk. And if he tells me that his liver suffers with it, I'll answer: what's your liver? It's a dead thing that lives as long as you live, and the poems you'll write will live without a as long as.

Fernando Pessoa

#4. Maybe you need to save your dad-concerns for when I'm found drunk, or high - and - arrested because my secret Argentinean boyfriend, Ignacio, convinced me to smuggle condoms full of drugs and

Anne Eliot

#5. Belatedly, I notice how much easier it is to walk on these sticks when you can't feel your legs. Lesson number one for hooch wear, be drunk. It might make dancing more of a challenge, but I wasn't feeling a thing and it was beautiful.

Harper Sloan

#6. No, sitting up with you when you were sick, and you falling asleep in my lap, was one of my best nights. It wasn't comfortable, I didn't sleep worth a shit, but I brought in your nineteenth birthday with you, and you're actually pretty sweet when you're drunk.

Jamie McGuire

#7. When I was a boy, I passed a homeless man, drunk and begging on a street corner. My father, sensing my disgust, said something I never forgot, that I think of every time I see your face on the news or in the paper- That man was once someone's little boy.

Blake Crouch

#8. Your mother is probably right," Dad said. "Social services frowns on drunk ten-year-ols. Besides, when I dropped my drumsticks and puked onstage, it was punk. If you drop your bow and smell like a brewery, it will look gauche. You classical-music people are so snobby that way.

Gayle Forman

#9. Even an idle phone conversation when driving takes a 40 percent bite out of your focus and, surprisingly, can have the same effect as being drunk.

Gary W. Keller

#10. Grammar is not just a pain in the ass; it's the pole you grab to get your thoughts up on their feet and walking. Besides, all those simple sentences worked for Hemingway, didn't they? Even when he was drunk on his ass, he was a fucking genius.

Stephen King

#11. It's sort of cliche, but when you're playing drunk, your character is trying to appear sober.

Corey Stoll

#12. When all the decent pleasures are forbidden, there's always ways to get the rotten ones. You don't break into grocery stores after dark and you don't pick your fellow's pockets to buy classical symphonies or fishing tackle, but if it's to get stinking drunk and forget you do.

Ayn Rand

#13. College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?

David Wood

#14. I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong.

Charlton Heston

#15. How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree then realize it was your air-freshener.

Mike Miller

#16. Why do alcoholics begin down the same hazardous road day after day? They are in search of that elusive window of well-being that opens when you drink your way out of a hangover and aren't yet drunk all over again. The alcoholic's day consists of trying to keep that window open.

Roger Ebert

#17. Her head swung around as if it had become detached from her spine. "My God! Your brother is HOT!"
Calista shook her head and looped an arm around the woman's waist. "Yes, he is. I'll be sure to tell my family you thought so."
"It doesn't count when they're drunk. House rule," I complained.

Ashlan Thomas

#18. The tragedy of Dionysus: Wear a black robe at night, and white you'll wear by morning; but wear a purple robe to the midnight feast, and when you wake you'll dress in black to mourn your soul deceased.

Roman Payne

#19. When you see a man led to prison say in your heart, "Mayhap he is escaping from a narrower prison." And when you see a man drunken say in your heart, "Mayhap he sought escape from something still more unbeautiful.

Kahlil Gibran

#20. Your Grace," he said, when he and Cersei were alone, "I was wondering. Are you drunk, or merely stupid?

George R R Martin

#21. I read something once that when you're online, your inhibitions are lowered to the state where you've had three drinks. Once you basically know that the entire internet is slightly drunk, it all makes a lot more sense, and you deport yourself accordingly.

Caitlin Moran

#22. I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.

Dylan Moran

#23. You don't pick a fight when you're drunk."
"I had to punch someone in the face, Mark."
"So you picked up four-hundred pound tattoo-guy?"
"He did have awesome tats didn't he?"
"You would know. You got to see them up close while they were in your face.

Sam Hunter

#24. He was your usual man when it came to romance, which is to say he couldn't recite Baa Baa Black Sheep when sober, whereas when drunk, sixteen cantos of Byron's Don Juan was par for the course.

Tyne O'Connell

#25. Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

Dave Attell

#26. I have no rules on drinking. In your young days, you can play strong even if you are not healthy. If they want to get drunk and smoke, they can, but not immediately after a match when the body is weak and vulnerable.

Felix Magath

#27. It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight."
"I know. Being Drunk is weird."
"Oh my god. I love you so much. Especially when you say stuff like that."
"Like what?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green.

Jessica Sorensen

#28. Last night you left me and slept your own deep sleep. Tonight you turn and turn. I say, 'You and I will be together till the Universe dissolves.' You mumble back things you thought of when you were drunk.

Rumi

#29. If you have thirty dollars and rent is eighty, there's no point in saving any of it. Drink till you're drunk and pay for a ride home. You might as well enjoy your trip to the bottom. It's when you've got eighty-seven dollars and the rent's eighty that you need to save.

Ryan David Jahn

#30. The city had seemed grand to him once ... it had once had a certain clarity. When you're young you think it's the clarity that's intoxicating; later you realize you were only ever drunk on your own vision.

Jennifer DuBois

#31. You never could tell what a man would do when he was drunk, even if that man was your own self.

Robert Jordan

#32. I was drunk in that pure joyful way you can be from white wine, when your thoughts collide with one another like bubbles and what emerges when they burst is pleasure.

Karl Ove Knausgard

#33. She was right, but at the same time she reminded me why girls make both great and terrible friends: They actually listen to your goals, even when you're too drunk to know what you're saying.

Jenny Lawson