What The Hell Funny Quotes

#1. What the hell was I thinking? that wasn't funny. It was supposed to be funny, but it's after midnight, and I'm never funny after midnight

Colleen Hoover

#2. What the hell am I doing ... ? Escape holding myself as a hostage ... ? I won't be able to make it like that ...

Tsugumi Ohba

#3. What the hell is so funny?"
"First of all," she said, her confidence growing, "they're not my MASTERS. I don't have a MASTER. Second, they don't need a battalion to take you down. And third
and this is really the most important point
whoever said I came alone?

Derek Landy

#4. As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend that I got there accidentally. "How the hell did I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. Whee!" That's what you say when you're having fun. You refer to yourself and some other people.

Mitch Hedberg

#5. Let come the forces of night! We will stand!"
"We will get the hell out of here is what we will do," I muttered.

Jim Butcher

#6. I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer ... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.

Demetri Martin

#7. I think we're avoiding the most important question here. What matters most. What means the most to men like us."
Conall growled at Billy Dunwich's sincere face. "I am not telling you if she swallows."
Dunwich smiled. "Just tell me if she's a good girl ... or if she's a very good girl?

Shelly Laurenston

#8. What in the actual hell of all nine circles of Hell was this?

J. Lynn

#9. The man in 4B wondered if he could have your autograph. He told me his daughter is a huge fan.
Fan? What the hell? Dylan lifted himself up and looked over the back of his seat. Since when did covert operators have fans?

Tara Janzen

#10. You'd be surprised." Charlie said.
"You go to bed one night singing her a lullaby, and she wakes up listening to Limp Bizkit."
"What the hell is Limp Bizkit?

Jodi Picoult

#11. There is no path I follow. I feel as if I'm just drifting along, because although I can progress physically, through my training, mentally and spiritually I don't know what the hell I'm doing. It's like that car sticker: 'Don't follow me, I'm lost'.

Steve Ovett

#12. And what the hell does that even mean? Why would you serve food for thoughgs, and what kind of food? If you serve spinach, do you get healthy thoughts? If it's ice cream and candy, it is fun thoughts? Why do we say stupid things?

J.D. Robb

#13. Crashing is never funny, but sometimes you can jump up, laugh at your stupidity, and go, 'What the hell was that?'

Jens Voigt

#14. What the hell kind of Hell was this supposed to be?

Jim Butcher

#15. What is memory foam? How does it remember things? Does it have its own brain?" Edilyn
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Suffice it to say, it's something future man will thank modern science for. There's also a toilet in the bathroom." Virag
"A what in the who?" Edilyn

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#16. Jesus, Martin, what the hell do I pay you for?"
"My good looks, the occasional blow job, and my constant supply of Jim Beam."
"You've never given me a blow job."
"True, but you've fantasized about it.

Adrienne Wilder

#17. What the fuck is going on Lor? What the hell did you do last night? What did you say to Kacey? Who the hell is Blue Eyes and why is my car spray-painted with the word 'asshole'?"

Spray-paint? Oh dear God, what have I done?

Joanne McClean

#18. What the hell are those?" Zach pushed at my foot with his finger.

"My boots."

"It looks like your foot's being attacked by a Muppet.

Theresa Paolo

#19. What the hell is your problem?" Sputtered Jason, pushing his wet hair back from his face.
"Oh I don't know. One minute you're kissing my girlfriend and the next you're throwing her down a hill.

Kathleen Peacock

#20. I beg your pardon? Robson says.
One thing Waterhouse likes about these Brits is that when they don't know what the hell you're talking about, they are at least open to the possibility that it might be their fault.

Neal Stephenson

#21. Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States, and said it wasn't his fault, because he was not aware, at the time, of what his foreign policy was.

Dave Barry

#22. Tino laughed with him and then asked, "What the hell is up with you? You acted like I murdered your mother today."
"Not funny." Chuito sobered. "Mafia doesn't get to make jokes about murdering my mother.

Kele Moon

#23. Our foyer has a funny smell that doesn't smell like anyplace else. I don't know what the hell it is. It isn't cauliflower and it isn't perfume - I don't know what the hell it is - but you always know you're home.

J.D. Salinger

#24. Cheer up, Crips, and keep smiling. That's the thing to do. If you go through life with a smile on your face, you'll be amazed how many people will come up to you and say 'What the hell are you grinning about? What's so funny?' Make you a lot of new friends.

P.G. Wodehouse

#25. I still didn't know quite what the witches were capable of. The threshold could be booby-trapped or enchanted. I could be walking into a cage fight with a demon. Hell, she could open the door with a Glock 9 in her hand and put a bullet in my ear, or throw a cat at me, or call me a damn hippie.

Kevin Hearne

#26. I stopped at a stop sign at the end of the street, and Margo said, "What the hell? Go go go go go," and I said, "Oh, right," because I had forgotten that I was throwing caution to the wind and everything.

John Green

#27. What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?

Kevin Hart

#28. She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing ...
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.

Ilona Andrews

#29. Kids cannot follow stories. They don't know what the hell is going on in a cartoon. They like to see funny visual things happening.

John Kricfalusi

#30. I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests with an imaginary dog!

Matthew Lillard

#31. Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing.

Peyton Manning

#32. Well, more or less, you just got struck by lightning."
"Wait, what?" My brain stopped processing for a prolonged moment unable to wrap around that one. How the hell had that happened? "So basically I was filled with 1.21 jiggawatts?
Can I travel through time now?

Elizabeth Sharp

#33. What the hell? Ian asked, holding his hands over the front of his Christmas briefs. Sara had ordered them from the Internet, and he'd worn them to please her. Too bad there hadn't been enough time for the underwear to meet with an unfortunate accident. A lot could be blamed on a washing machine.

Rose Wynters

#34. Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!'

Dave Attell

#35. What do you mean, "Not to worry, she's home safe with Skiboy"?
What the hell is a "Skiboy"?

Meg Cabot

#36. Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?

Regina Griffin

#37. What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.

John Green

#38. What the hell was she doing on the nonhostage side of a handgun?

Suzanne Brockmann