U S Comedian Quotes

#1. I first wanted to be a comedian when I was six or seven and my dad showed me Laurel and Hardy's "Perfect Day" on tv.

Will Smith

#2. I was wondering."
"What?"
"If it's uncomfortable."
"If what's uncomfortable?"
"Having your head that far up your ass."
"You're a real comedian today, Lawson."
"You're making it easy for me.

Samantha Young

#3. When I read about the dangers of drinking, I gave up reading

Henny Youngman

#4. My younger sister's a comedian. She has a sketch comedy group in Chicago called Schadenfreude and I look at her with such admiration and envy because it's such an amazing thing to make someone laugh.

Brian D'Arcy James

#5. I'm not a comedian, I'm not a stand-up and I don't come from a comedy background. I am an actor, but I've had a very fortunate foray into comedy, and it seems to have become a bit of a strength, and you can't complain when you become known for something.

Darren Boyd

#6. I wanted to be a comedian, I wanted people to laugh at what I was saying, not to be staring at my boobs or wearing a skirt and show off my ... I just didn't think that that was the best way to get taken seriously in that world.

Chelsea Handler

#7. You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.

Denis Leary

#8. A humorist is a writer who's not funny enough to call themselves a comedian.

Dan Alatorre

#9. I don't do drama. I'm a comedian.

Tracy Morgan

#10. If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

Norm MacDonald

#11. I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.

Wendy Liebman

#12. Of the many qualities I adore about Melissa McCarthy as a comedian and as a dramatic actor, the best is how fully she gives herself to every character she plays.

Lisa Schwarzbaum

#13. If you're a comedian, you are looking for material in daily life.

Rob Brydon

#14. And I'm up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians.

Elvis Costello

#15. I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.

Steven Wright

#16. Inside was the second LP album of a comedian's performance before an audience.

Shelley Berman

#17. Suddenly, the world I had scrutinised for so long was all around me, as if I had leaned forward and climbed into the television like Alice through the looking-glass. I had no idea just how deep the rabbit hole would go.

Simon Pegg

#18. If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.

Eddie Izzard

#19. As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

Bill Maher

#20. I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

Greg Behrendt

#21. Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night

Robin Williams

#22. I consider myself more of a visual comedian than a physical one.

Rowan Atkinson

#23. Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18, I thought, 'I'll become a comedian, and then if everyone laughs at me, I'll be famous.' So I went on stage one night and, for the first time in my life, everyone stopped laughing at me.

Emo Philips

#24. I'm kind of the antithesis of a comedian. People that don't like me will agree with that.

Frank Caliendo

#25. I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.

Larry David

#26. Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

George Burns

#27. I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor ... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

Steve Carell

#28. I'm more of a comedian. I wouldn't mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool.

Cheyenne Kimball

#29. Lydia shook her head. "This is my life. Getting yelled at in a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night by somebody doing a bad impression of PG-13 fart-joke-movie comedian.

Jeff Zentner

#30. As a woman, it seems you can't just be a comedian; you're always classed as something else, too, whether that's 'beautiful,' 'pint-sized,' 'larger-than-life' or in my case, 'Hattie Jacques-esque,' 'the giraffe,' 'big.'

Miranda Hart

#31. I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.

Adam Sandler

#32. Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.

Ronnie Barker