Top 100 The Colonel Quotes
#1. The agreement,' the colonel announced, 'says thirty-seven officers, fifty vehicles, and one hundred seventy five men.'
'What agreement?'
'The Berlin Agreement,
Andrei Cherny
#2. I'd be the last colonel in the world to order you to go to that U.S.O. show and have a good time, but I want every one of you who isn't sick enough to be in a hospital to go to that U.S.O. show right now and have a good time, and that's an order!
Joseph Heller
#3. A Georgia volunteer, afterward a colonel in the Confederate service, said: "I fought through the civil war and have seen men shot to pieces and slaughtered by thousands, but the Cherokee removal was the cruelest work I ever knew."34
Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz
#4. Can't wear it to the opera," said the Colonel, almost smiling. "Can't wear it to a funeral. Can't use it to hang myself. It's a bit useless, as ties go.
John Green
#5. You must forgive my cousin, Mr. Carroll; his manners are deplorable."
Colonel Fitzwilliam feigned offence and turned to the butler while addressing his cousin's barb. "Mr. Carroll and I have an understanding, don't we, man? He knows I prefer to walk in unannounced.
KaraLynne Mackrory
#6. As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob ... if you can see it, it's obsolete."
Bob Hope
#7. I had just finished carving some boiled beef (remarkably tough by the way) and on resuming my seat I remarked, in a spirit most unbecoming to my cloth, that anyone who murdered Colonel Protheroe would be doing the world at large a service.
Agatha Christie
#8. You find everything on earth at Harry's."
"Yes, my Colonel. Except, possibly, happiness."
"I'll damn well find happiness, too," the Colonel assured him. "Happiness, as you know, is a movable feast.
Ernest Hemingway,
#9. I just say the moral out of my life is don't quit at age 65, maybe your boat hasn't come in yet. Mine hadn't.
Colonel Sanders
#10. She knew why the Colonel had hated talking about the old days. Because the moment you looked back, and began to make your tally, you were done for.
Philipp Meyer
#11. Look, I might keep interested in this if you stop shouting it all over the island and if you stick to killing Colonel Cathcart. But if you're going to turn it into a bloodbath, you can forget about me.
Joseph Heller
#12. No hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me.
Colonel Sanders
#13. It is a very simple matter," continued Colonel Bradford, "to live simply in this highly complex world. Let the world be complex but let your diet, and all matters pertaining to your mental and physical wellbeing be simple.
Carolinda Witt
#15. Many organizations are now trying to walk under the banner of The Learning Organization, realizing that knowledge is our most important product ... But the only place that I've seen it is in the Army. As one colonel said, "We realized a while ago that it's better to learn than be dead."
Walter Wriston
#16. We need to put your sister in a glass case like Snow White," Colonel Hamilton said, his arms crossed. He was monitoring the radio chatter from the deck of a gunboat. "With a sign on it that says 'Break in the event of a zombie apocalypse.'
John Ringo
#17. And if the Colonel thought that calling me his friend would make me stand by him, well, he was right.
John Green
#18. Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired.
John Green
#19. I have come to realise that your are the most important person in the world to me, and I wanted to know if you would consider ... if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife
C. Allyn Pierson
#20. The bust of Colonel Sanders stands as a monument to cruelty and has no place in the Kentucky state Capitol.
Pamela Anderson
#21. Colonel Mustard did it, however the motherfucker did it, his ass is in the hole.
Kristen Ashley
#22. Admiral Dahlgren's twenty-one-year-old son, Ulric, had lost a leg at Gettysburg. When he appeared at a Washington party, he was surrounded by pretty girls. They stayed by his side all night, refusing to dance, in tribute to the handsome colonel who had been known as an expert waltzer.
Doris Kearns Goodwin
#23. For I was not, as I liked to think, the indulgent pleasure-loving opposite of the cold rigid Colonel. I was the lie that Empire tells itself when times are easy, he the truth that Empire tells when harsh winds blow.
J.M. Coetzee
#24. Should I feel better if I were to vomit?' asked Jagiello. 'I doubt it,' said Stephen. 'It has done nothing for the Colonel.
Patrick O'Brian
#25. Ignored Truslow, trusting instead in the Colonel's largesse.
Bernard Cornwell
#26. The colonel breakfasted with the leisure of a fighter who has been clipped badly, hears four, and knows how to relax truly for five seconds or more.
Ernest Hemingway,
#27. Colonel Percy Harrison Fawcett, and his name was known throughout the world.
David Grann
#28. When Colonel Gadhafi started using his air force against civilians on the ground, we did not hesitate. Then we supported the resolution of the Security Council, which introduced arms embargo for Libya.
Sergei Lavrov
#29. And we'll call you ... hmmm. Pudge."
"Huh?"
"Pudge," the Colonel said. "Because you're skinny. It's called irony, Pudge. Heard of it? Now, let's go get some cigarettes and start this year off right.
John Green
#30. Hey, is that you Elvis? I wanna speak to the Colonel. Jump to it, you mother.
Ray Davies
#31. Time is not on Gaddafi's side. People ask about the exit strategy. It's Colonel Gaddafi who needs an exit strategy because this pressure will only mount and it will be intensified over the coming days and weeks.
William Hague
#32. You know, my dad was a lieutenant colonel at Ft. Lewis on the 3rd of March, 1941. Fifteen months later, he was commanding a theater of war.
John Eisenhower
#33. JEAN
Boy, would I like to see you give some old harpie the three in one!
COLONEL
Don't be vulgar, Jane. Let us be crooked, but never common.
Preston Sturges
#34. Just remember,' a Marine Corps lieutenant colonel told me as he strapped his pistol belt under his arm before we crossed into Kuwait, 'that none of these boys is fighting for home, for the flag, for all that crap the politicians feed the public. They are fighting for each other, just for each other.
Chris Hedges
#35. They agreed, however, that they could wish them only as much joy as they had together, refusing to be dislodged from their position as the happiest couple in the world, by anyone.
Rebecca Ann Collins
#36. The greatest story of all is Colonel Sanders. He didn't start until he was sixty-six on a freeway bypass for his chicken shop. Anything is possible!
Robert Kiyosaki
#37. The public is tired of politicians professing certain beliefs and not acting on those beliefs. They want elected officials who have the moral courage to do what they will say they will do when they're running for election.
Colonel Tom Parker
#38. He is appointed Lieutenant Colonel, second-in-command of the Twentieth Maine Regiment of Volunteers.
Jeff Shaara
#39. If you couldn't kill your adversaries, or keep them imprisoned for ever, there was surely only one option left in the Colonel Alexander canon: you change their minds.
Jon Ronson
#40. Leslie entered the lounge like a taller, studlier version of the Kentucky Fried Chicken colonel.
Douglas Coupland
#41. The colonel laughed, effectively halting Bingley's speech. "Uncharacteristically reclusive? Do we speak if the same man? Darcy's very character is defined by his reclusiveness! He prefers to keep his own counsel, especially when he ought to do the opposite - the bacon-brained buffoon.
KaraLynne Mackrory
#42. I can hear the Colonel - no land was ever acquired honestly in the history of the earth - but it does not make me feel any better.
Philipp Meyer
#43. The wretch was far too handsome for words. Why did God have to give such good looks to such abominable men? First Colonel Taylor, and now this pirate. It was damned unfair.
She groaned. The scoundrel even had her cursing. Where did it end?
Sabrina Jeffries
#44. Now, Betteredge, exert those sharp wits of yours, and observe the conclusion to which the Colonel's instructions point!" I instantly exerted my wits. They were of the slovenly English sort; and they consequently muddled it all
Wilkie Collins
#45. You are asking us to lie, Colonel?"
"I am asking you to omit. Surely, amidst the ... the infinite gradations of human venality, that particular sin ranks low." The old man kneaded the folds of his throat. "What happened out there belongs out there. The jungle has it; let the jungle keep it ...
Louis Bayard
#46. I suppose we could use some rain," and the Colonel looked up at the low clouds coming in fast and threatening, and then he said, "Well, use it or not, we're sure as shit going to get some." And we sure as shit did.
John Green
#47. If Clue was played like D&D, you could grab the lead pipe, beat a confession out of Colonel Mustard, and have sex with Miss scarlet on the desk in the conservatory.
David Ewalt
#48. Colonel Maycomb's misplaced self-confidence and slender sense of direction brought disaster to all who rode with him in the Creek Indian Wars.
Harper Lee
#49. At the hangars, each jumpmaster was given two packs of papers, containing an order of the day from Eisenhower and a message from Colonel Sink, to pass around to the men. "Tonight is the night of nights," said Sink's. "May God be with
Stephen E. Ambrose
#50. It was then that I understood that the days of Colonel Garcia and all those like him are numbered, because they have not been able to destroy the spirit of these women (Allende 429)
Isabel Allende
#51. Lieutenant Colonel Frederick Parry of 2nd Battalion the Cheshire Regiment at once requisitioned 'extra attractive women' from the cantonment magistrate at Amballa, arguing that he had only six women for 400 men.
Richard Holmes
#52. My life isn't over and I'm not going to sit in a rocking chair and take money from the government.
Colonel Sanders
#53. The enemy," retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, "is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
Joseph Heller
#54. I still have an old painting the Colonel gave me. It was the first time the Colonel had been back to the Hilton since Elvis had passed away.
Mac Davis
#55. I hadn't taken to the colonel, yet he had piqued my interest. You can be fascinated even by a tree frog if you watch it long enough. I was savoring the first drops of the poison that would carry us all to perdition.
Umberto Eco
#56. Lightened body armor, which the military has made progress on, would mean increased safety and reduced risk for soldiers like the sergeant and the colonel.
Niki Tsongas
#57. My father was a Party member and he was a pretty high rank military officer under the colonel, junior colonel, I don't know the term. He was a total Stalinist. A bit with a streak of anti-Semitism and very shrewd man, a very kind of nervous man.
Mikhail Baryshnikov
#58. I didn't know whether to trust Alaska, and I'd certainly had enough of her unpredictability - cold one day, sweet the next; irresistibly flirty one moment, resistibly obnoxious the next. I preferred the Colonel: At least when he was cranky, he had a reason.
John Green
#59. So off had gone John to the wars again. But he had not remained for long in the position of a humble volunteer. Colonel Clifton, commanding the 1st Regiment of Dragoons, no sooner heard that Crazy Jack was back then he enrolled him as an extra aide-de-camp.
Georgette Heyer
#60. We passionately set up a programme that we call the Indian gun programme. I challenged Colonel Bhatia, who heads our defence business, that let's build an Indian gun. There's a belief that Indian companies aren't capable of this, and we want to prove them wrong, as we did in components.
Baba Kalyani
#61. At the San Francisco airport Charlie discreetly pulled Daron aside and asked if there was anything he needed to know, if he should expect more crazy-Colonel-Sanders types of people in Braggsville.
T. Geronimo Johnson
#62. The Colonel says all attorneys should be named for blood sucking insects so we know up front who we are dealing with.
Sheila Turnage
#63. A drawing, brought by Colonel Coombs, from a sculptured column in a cave-temple in the South of India, represents the first pair at the foot of the ambrosial tree, and a serpent entwined among the heavily-laden boughs, presenting to them some of the fruit from his mouth.
Godfrey Higgins
#64. At the men's end of the table the talk grew more and more animated. The colonel told them that the declaration of war had already appeared in Petersburg and that a copy, which he had himself seen, had that day been forwarded by courier to the commander in chief.
Leo Tolstoy
#65. Colonel Ridge Zirkander had walked the hall to General Ort's office so many times he suspected his boots were responsible for the threadbare state of the drab gray carpet runner. The two privates standing guard on either side of the door were too well trained to exchange knowing smirks,
Lindsay Buroker
#66. There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
Colonel Sanders
#67. It was by a Maryland colonel in the year 1777 that the British received, in the gallant defense of an important fort, one of the first lessons of what they were to expect from American valor and patriotism.
Marquis De Lafayette
#68. And I will forget her, yes. That which came together will fall apart slowly, but she will forgive my forgetting, just as I forgive her for forgetting me and the Colonel and nothing but herself and her mom in those last moments as she spent as a person.
John Green
#69. She has great breasts," the Colonel said without looking up from the whale.
"DO NOT OBJECTIFY WOMEN'S BODIES!" Alaska shouted.
Now he looked up. "Sorry. Perky breasts."
"That's not any better!
John Green
#70. Slaughter personified to him every evil of this war. It would never end for Tom until he had dealt with Slaughter. His chance had been delayed last night. The next time he encountered the Colonel, he'd kill him.
C.G. Faulkner
#71. Who's my date" the Colonel asked.
*You're girlfriend is your date"
"All right" he said, and then deadpanned "but we don't get along very well
John Green
#72. The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
George Carlin
#73. But the officer stood up and stepped across the room to Ender. He held out his hand. My name is Graff, Ender. Colonel Hyrum Graff. I'm director of primary training at Battle School in the Belt. I've come to invite you to enter the school.
Orson Scott Card
#74. What! do not you know who Miss Williams is? I am sure you must have heard of her before. She is a relation of the Colonel's, my dear; a very near relation. We will not say how near, for fear of shocking the young ladies.
Jane Austen
#75. Colonel: Tell me what is the T.R.U.T.H, Doctor!
Doctor: Total.Reveal.Using.Therapeutic.Hologram
Toba Beta
#76. and yet there is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions." (Colonel Brandon)
Jane Austen
#77. Though Afghans are renowned fighters, Colonel Imam, the officer heading the program, complained that trying to organize them was 'like weighing frogs
Malala Yousafzai
#78. Here lies the body of Colonel Cornell's. The rest of the fellow, I fancy, in hell is.
Mark Hodder
#79. I remember serving in Vietnam in that war, and many of us at the major Lieutenant Colonel, colonel level were frustrated that no one in the U.S. wanted to debate it that way.
William Odom
#80. And then she said, 'Let's play Truth or Dare' and then you fucked her."
"Wait, you fucked her? In front of the Colonel?" Takumi cried.
"I didn't fuck her."
"Calm down, guys," the Colonel said, throwing up his hands. "It's a euphemism."
"For what?" Takumi asked.
"Kissing.
John Green
#81. Josie spoke up as well. "If it's all the same to you, Colonel, I'd feel safer with you." Keegan looked surprised. She'd caught the Colonel that Josie had directed toward Kenslir.
C.E. Martin
#82. Prepare a crossing party," snapped Horyse. "A single person to cross. Miss Abhorsen, here. And Sergeant, if you or Private Rahise so much as talk in your sleep about what you may have heard here, then you'll be on gravedigging fatigues for the rest of your lives!
Garth Nix
#83. While he is universally remembered as Colonel Hogan, Bob Crane must be credited for paving the way for radio personalities and disc jockeys for generations to come.
Carol M. Ford
#84. Your father sounds frightening," Trayton said.
"He once made a general cry."
"No."
"I shit you not. The guy had to retire after that. I mean, really, who's going to follow your orders after some damn colonel's reduced you to tears?
Jennifer Rardin
#85. I think of [street food] as the antidote to fast food; it's the clear alternative to the king, the clown and the colonel.
Anthony Bourdain
#86. I've read hundreds of cookbooks. For my money, they are the bird.
Colonel Sanders
#87. Well, that's the end of that, I reckon. You know what, Furious?" And he grinned sideways at West. "I'm getting to like you, boy.
Joe Abercrombie
#88. Now I have no reason to play fair with you at all. I'm coming, and I DO NOT come in peace. Colonel Marion Briggs, from the forthcoming Valkeryn Series
Greig Beck
#89. We should be I hope finally realizing what Vladimir Putin is. He's an old colonel, KGB, apparatchik, and he dreams of the restoration of the Russian empire.
John McCain
#90. When making his music, he [Elvis Presley] had been the essence of cool, but in his movies he was often a self-parody embarrassing to watch. Colonel Parker, his manager, who had picked movie scrips for him, had served Elvis less well than the monk Rasputin had served Czar Nicholas and Alexandra.
Dean Koontz
#91. The old adage applied: if God were in the details, Colonel Washington would have been there to greet him upon arrival.
Joseph J. Ellis
#92. Hard work beats all the tonics and vitamins in the world.
Colonel Sanders
#93. Colonel, I'm giving you a direct order. Eat the fucking cookie.
John Scalzi
#94. But the colonel said and did nothing as the seconds splintered off the clock and fell like debris on the floor.
Jonathan Maberry
#95. You can fight with me," I said. I put my controller down and leaned back on our foam couch and was asleep. As I drifted off, I heard the Colonel say, "I can't be mad at you, you harmless skinny bastard.
John Green
#96. In which local hero Colonel Arthur Pettigrew, of the British army in India, held off a train full of murderous thugs to rescue a local Maharajah's youngest wife. For his heroism, the Colonel was awarded a British Order of Merit and personally presented with a pair
Helen Simonson
#98. Inside that Colonel, there's a private that needs to be cuddled and held just like the rest of us." Hawkeye
M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team
#99. Cinderella's head rolled back against her will, and she lost track of the conversation as her stomach heaved. "I'm going to be sick," she said. Colonel Friedrich and his soldiers didn't react fast enough.
K.M. Shea
#100. Our quarrel is not with Egypt, still less with the Arab world. It is with Colonel Nasser. He has shown that he is not a man who can be trusted to keep an agreement. Now he has torn up all his country's promises to the Suez Canal Company and has even gone back on his own statements.
Anthony Eden
