Top 65 Retort Quotes
#1. Do you believe in an afterlife? Do your personal beliefs include a life after death? - no matter how they phrase their snotty test, do the following. Simply look them in the eye, snort derisively, and retort, Frankly, only a provincial ignoramus would even believe in death.
Chuck Palahniuk
#2. The willing sacrifice of the innocents is the most powerful retort to insolent tyranny that has yet to be conceived by God or man.
Mahatma Gandhi
#3. I had an incredibly nasty retort ready that involved his mother and the U.S. Navy.
Rachel Hawkins
#4. I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.
George Bernard Shaw
#5. Think of all the squabbles Adam and Eve must have had in the course of their nine hundred years," wrote Martin Luther. "Eve would say, 'You ate the apple,' and Adam would retort, 'You gave it to me.
Philip Yancey
#6. Please. The word was disgusting as it came out, rank with misuse, and he felt irritation in the midst of his panic. But it was the panic that drove this train, panic that pushed every retort out of his mind and left him broken and desperate, in front of this man.
Alessandra Torre
#7. Even the financial disclosure statements that political bloggers were required to post hadn't stemmed the suspicion that people's opinions weren't really their own. "Who's paying you?" was a retort that might follow any bout of enthusiasm, along with laughter - who would let themselves be bought?
Jennifer Egan
#8. Billy, honey, could you get me another drink from the bar? I'm almost done with this one. Kate
pulls on his arm, cutting off what I'm sure would have been a brilliant retort.
Are you feeling the sarcasm?
Emma Chase
#9. Audiences are always better pleased with a smart retort, some joke or epigram, than with any amount of reasoning.
Charlotte Perkins Gilman
#10. Look. Every partisan in every party has to learn one thing: Sometimes your people are wrong. To paraphrase an old retort, saying "My party, right or wrong" is like saying "My Kennedy, drunk or sober." Credibility is earned, and standing up and saying "Fie!" now and then reinforces your truthfulness.
James Lileks
#11. Ryan was not only gregarious but also a happily married inamorato! (Around the facility, when the other coaches teased him about this episode, Ryan would retort affably, "I'm the only guy in history who gets in a sex scandal with his wife!")
Nicholas Dawidoff
#12. About two hours afterwards Gethryn discovered a suitable retort, but, coming to the conclusion that better late than never does not apply to repartees, refrained from speaking it.
P.G. Wodehouse
#13. Alec muttered a retort into his coffee. It rhymed with something that sounded a lot more like ducking glass mole.
Cassandra Clare
#14. A philosopher who says, 'There are no truths, only interpretations,' risks the retort: 'Is that true, or only an interpretation?'
Roger Scruton
#15. I am aware that many critics consider the conditions in the stars not sufficiently extreme ... the stars are not hot enough. The critics lay themselves open to an obvious retort: we tell them to go and find a hotter place.
Arthur Eddington
#16. You can't do a blocking spell, and you've never heard of L'Occhio di Dio? Man, what kind of witch are you?
I had an incredibly nasty retort ready that involved his mother and the U.S. Navy, but before I could get it out ...
Rachel Hawkins
#17. She went a little fucking overboard on her anger." He looks at me. "Her daughters are all a bit nuts, so you know exactly where they get it from."
"She called the fucking cops on me," I retort. "That's not nuts that's
"
"It's nuts," he rebuts.
"It's fucked up."
"That too," he says.
Krista Ritchie
#18. Huh! It is only a pahari," said Kim over his shoulder. "Since when have the hill-asses owned all Hindustan?"
The retort was a swift and brilliant sketch of Kim's pedigree for three generations.
Rudyard Kipling
#19. One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is that you won't "win," you won't change anyone's mind, you won't change any votes, you won't make the atmosphere in the room any better, YOU won't feel any better.
Carolyn Hax
#20. Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN
Bill Watterson
#21. Maybe you shouldn't talk about anal sex behind our backs," I retort, able to deduce the subject of their conversations.
"Fine, I'll talk about it to your face," Lo challenges. "I hear you like it in the ass." He raises his can of Fizz Life to me. "Cheers.
Krista Ritchie
#23. The grown-ups snapped the chillies (each made a sound terse as a satirical retort), and scattered the tiny, deadly seeds in their food.
Amit Chaudhuri
#24. Well, Karou had wanted to retort, with all the gravity and maturity she could muster. Duh.
Laini Taylor
#25. The radiance of this beautiful scene shed a cruel light on every past horror, every insult tolerated, every unspoken retort, every gesture of rejection. Marianne was grieving, and her boundless grief made her regret every moment of cowardice in her life.
Nina George
#26. It desolates me to disappoint you, but your brother is not here. Despite two really praiseworthy attempts at rescue."
... The hint of amusement irritated me, and sick and hurt as I was, I simply had to retort something. "Glad ... at least ... you're desolated.
Sherwood Smith
#27. REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.
Ambrose Bierce
#28. The horror of the void became once again its own inverted retort.
Gellu Naum
#29. There are a lot of complaints by the older generation about the lack of action in this generation. My retort: give these people something to be engaged in. Cutting a check is not engaging.
Ben Rattray
#30. Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads.
George W. Bush
#31. You suck at walking in heels." "And you suck at trying not to fuck me in public," I retort.
Anonymous
#32. A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
Mark Twain
#33. Well, if only I wasn't too much the gentleman to flay your spirit with a witty and cutting retort, madam, you'd be ... thoroughly ... um, wittily retorted at this very instant. - Locke Lamora
Scott Lynch
#34. Dick was about to retort by commenting on the extraordinary suits worn by Tommy and Prince Chillicheff, suits of a cut and pattern fantastic enough to have sauntered down Beale Street on a Sunday - when
F Scott Fitzgerald
#35. I have to say, Middleton, I didn't think you'd have it in you."
He's looking me over, and I know what he meant was that I don't look the part. I'm too frail. Too small.
"Maybe you shouldn't think then," I retort.
Candace Knoebel
#36. Someone described Providence as the baptismal name of chance; no doubt some pious person will retort that chance is the nickname of Providence.
Nicolas Chamfort
#37. With all the insolence she swallowed, it was a wonder her corsets still laced. Retort after rejoinder after sharp-edged remark: Why do you address me? What can I possibly have to say to a man who would split a pair of fives? Be quiet. Go to sleep. Go away. Come back when you have another erection.
Cecilia Grant
#38. I think that Lethal Weapon-style dialogue is overused, it's a necessary aspect of high action films where you have to have the smart retort. You have to say "I'll be back baby" and stuff. It's not my style.
George Lucas
#39. It is never ridicule, but a compliment, that knocks a philosopher off his feet. He is already positioned for every possible counter-attack, counter-argument, and retort ... only to find a big bear hug coming his way.
Criss Jami
#40. Every time we hold our tongues instead of returning the sharp retort, show patience with another's faults, show a little more love and kindness, we are helping to stock-pile more of these peace-bringing qualities in the world instead of armaments for war.
Connie Foster
#41. The warlord pierces me with a hard stare. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way."
"Or no way, " I retort.
Amanda Bouchet
#42. What is the use of assuring Fundamentalists that science is compatible with religion. They retort at once, Certainly not with our religion.
Luther Burbank
#43. One doesn't come to Italy for niceness," was the retort; "one comes for life. Buon giorno! Buon giorno!
E. M. Forster
#44. I don't want you to forget this moment. In about a week, I'll come up with a scathing retort. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
#46. (About a cookbook ... )
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts.
Terry Pratchett
#47. A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
Winston S. Churchill
#48. There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.
Jane Austen
#49. I'm not sure you're quite sensible of the honor I'm doing you," Jace said. "you'll be the first mundane who has ever been inside the Institute."
"Probably the smell keeps the rest of them away.
Cassandra Clare
#50. I don't like you with Becky. She's not a very nice girl.'
'I don't like you with Jake. He's not me.
Courtney Summers
#51. Ranta: Let's just pray that she actually is a tsundere... Though, if she were a tsundere, obviously, the one she'd go dere for is me, you know? That's kind of... not so bad, I guess?
Moguzo: O-Obviously, she wouldn't go dere for Ranta, I think...
Ranta: Oh, shut up, Moguzo!
Ao Jyumonji
#52. [Jean Harlow] 'Say - aren't you Margot Asquith?' (pronouncing the hard 't')
[Margot Asquith] 'Yes Dear, But the 't' is silent, as in Harlow.
Margot Asquith
#53. An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.
Winston S. Churchill
#54. I do not understand this man," [Tempi] said. "Is he attempting to buy sex with me? Or does he wish to fight?
Patrick Rothfuss
#55. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
#56. Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'
Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?
Frank Zappa
#57. Caro: "Bite me."
Ruby: "I gave that up in kindergarten.
Kristin Hannah
#58. I don't care whose son he is. I won't go belly-up like a timid pup. If he's fool enough to take a poke at me, I'll snap the finger clean off that does the poking.
Patrick Rothfuss
#59. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'
That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
Benjamin Disraeli
#60. What's your angle?" I asked, trying to sound more playful than demanding.
"Isosceles," Jack quipped.
Amanda Hocking
#61. You must not suppose, because I am a man of letters, that I never tried to earn an honest living.
George Bernard Shaw
#62. I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-"
"It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule.
Shannon Hale
#64. What--has O-Tar seen an ulsio and fainted?" demanded I-Gos with broad sarcasm.
"Men have died for less than that, ancient one," E-Thas reminded him.
"I am safe," retorted I-Gos, "for I am not a brave and popular son of the jeddak of Manator.
Edgar Rice Burroughs
#65. You want me to invite him to dinner."
"I want you to invite him to dinner," she agreed.
"You know," he said, "most gay men don't have mothers who are this enthusiastic about their love lives."
"That's probably true," she said. "You're one of the lucky ones.
Matthew Haldeman-Time
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