Quotes For Ex Wife

#1. I'm in love with your ex-wife," ... "I've loved her since high school, man. She means everything to me. You gotta drag her down, that'll suck, but I'll pick her back up. You gotta rip her apart, I'll fuckin' hate watchin' it, but I'll put her back together.

Kristen Ashley

#2. You may have even an ex-wife or an ex-husband, but you can never have ex-children.

George Foreman

#3. I love my wife to death. I mean my ex-wife.

Stewart Rahr

#4. A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Jim Samuels

#5. She (my ex-wife) wanted me to stop being Evel Knievel. I am who I am. I'm not going to change. I'll settle down the day they put me in a six-foot pine box.

Evel Knievel

#6. Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates. It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when he's arguing with three people at once, it's his wife, his ex-wife, and his mistress.

Jay Leno

#7. I love my wife. My ex-wife. Nothing will ever change that." "Okay." "I can't love anyone else.

C.D. Reiss

#8. Debbie often talked about Gretchen as if she was his mistress. But to Archie it sometimes felt like the other way around. As if, by moving back in with his ex-wife, he was cheating on Gretchen.
That was probably worthy of bringing up in therapy

Chelsea Cain

#9. My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.

Woody Allen

#10. I just don't like when there's a rumor that says I'm dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, 'Thank you for the big ups!'

Marilyn Manson

#11. If a tree falls in the forest and kills your ex-wife, what do you do with the lumber?

Neil S. Plakcy

#12. It helps to be able to be alone. 'Cuz writing is done alone, unless you collaborate, but I don't do that. Ask my ex-wife.

Dirk Benedict

#13. I still love my former wife, I won't call her my ex-wife.

Dave Pelzer

#14. *jerk'jrk 1 an ex-wife or ex-husband who continually annoys you with stupid, irrational, and immature behavior 2 one whose values differ so dramatically from yours that you wonder how you will ever make it through your child's lifetime

Julie A., M.A. Ross

#15. I said, "It seems like you have fond feelings towrd your ex-wife. Are you two still close?" "Nah," he said casually. "She thinks I changed my name to motherfucker.

Elizabeth Gilbert

#16. Every time I see my cat licking its asshole I think about my ex wife. But that's how nostalgia works, right? We only remember the best of the available memories.

Jarod Kintz

#17. Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife

Shelley Winters

#18. My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

Rodney Dangerfield

#19. There is something about my aura or essence, or whatever, that draws the ex-wife characters to me. I don't seek them out, but people tend to think of me for that particular archetype, or whatever you want to call it, and I don't mind it. I think there is a strength to it.

Natalie Zea

#20. Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife.

David Letterman

#21. I want my ex-wife and children to be happy.

Scott Weiland

#22. I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.

Woody Allen

#23. My ex-wife did once accuse me of treating my own needs as if they were instructions and everyone else's needs as impediments.

Jill Dawson

#24. When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, "You want me to wear a condom?!

Jarod Kintz

#25. Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

Richard Pryor

#26. Losing is like my ex-wife ... it's a b****, and it takes a bigger man than me to live with it.

Don Frye

#27. For me, my films are not like my children. They are like my ex-wife. They gave me so much; I gave them so much; I loved them so much; we part ways, and it's OK, we part ways.

Alfonso Cuaron

#28. She sounds like a screeching ex-wife.

Rush Limbaugh

#29. I don't know what I want. And, if that's the case, as my ex-wife said, I'd only hurt people.

Haruki Murakami

#30. If you really want to know why atheists resent religion so much, try lying to someone for 10-20 years. If you don't have that kind of time, just ask my ex-wife.

Captain Perverto

#31. My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.

Louis C.K.

#32. Nathan kissed Madeline on the cheek and shook Ed's hand enthusiastically. He took an ostentatious relish in the civility of his dealings with his ex-wife and family.

Liane Moriarty

#33. In your ex-wife's stingy, slutty pussy, is the subtle point I'm trying to portray.

R.K. Lilley

#34. An ex-wife is a woman with a crick in the neck from looking back over her shoulder at her matrimony.

Ursula Parrott

#35. Any time I sit down at my laptop to write and I'm feeling lazy, or that I can't be bothered, or if I'm generally just lacking inspiration, I sit there and remember life with my ex-wife, and the words flow from my fingertips.

Shane K.P. O'Neill

#36. I had one of the best days of my life. I spent the afternoon with my two kids and my ex-wife at Serendipity. Then I came to the theater, and you know, I think I did the play the best I've ever done it.

Gabriel Byrne

#37. I'm somebody's ex-wife, and I did things that drove him nuts. And now I'm somebody's girlfriend, for many years, and I've got different things that drive him nuts.

Nicole Holofcener

#38. He had a son, but he died some years ago, on a foreign trip. His ex-wife's dead, too, and I've never seen any woman there." Nora shook her head. "It's an awful thing to think about. Dead for four days and no one even notices. That's how unconnected he seemed to be.

Tess Gerritsen

#39. Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.
Melvin Baylor - Seven Up

Janet Evanovich

#40. My parents, my teachers, my friends, my ex-wife-everybody held up a mirror and I accepted the image that came back. Well, it finally dawned on me that my reflection in others' eyes was the truth once removed.

Richard Moran

#41. I didn't need one so pissed at his ex-wife he'd make me fall in love with him before apologizing for leading me on. He wanted to hurt women, and nothing froze my creative juices like heartache.

C.D. Reiss

#42. I've always been a person who tries to build bridges and not walls. Whether it's my ex-wife and my step-son, or my daughter and my ex, I'm that guy in the middle, and I try to make sure we all stay together.

Chad Coleman

#43. I play, in real life, Kim, who is actually Marshall Mathers ex-wife as of now. She lies and says she is pregnant because she really wants to keep him and he figures her out.

Taryn Manning

#44. The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia.

Paul Gascoigne

#45. I'm on a search for my future ex-wife.

Richie Sambora

#46. You ask me about my ex-wife? That is not polite. But I will answer. I got another wife now. Much younger, much nicer, much prettier. And so much more intelligent than Benetton.'

Oliviero Toscani

#47. I settled in to watch a Dragnet rerun. I bought the judge in four of Jack Webb's drunk-driving beefs. I shtupped Jack's ex-wife, soaring songstress Julie London.

James Ellroy

#48. To his ex-wife in court, he said I lost interest in you when the Botox lost its effect and you looked like a plastic doll that escaped from a fire.

Peter Jackson

#49. Has anyone else here seen or fought a nightmare?"
Marshal Spence Neumann lifted his head. "Seen one. Swear to God it looked like my ex-wife for a second."
A chuckle rumbled within the group. Someone mumbled, "She was a nightmare.

Erin Kellison

#50. I saw Farrah Fawcett originally when she and her boyfriend, Lee Majors, came over to my house for a birthday party that I was having for my ex-wife, Leigh Taylor-Young.

Ryan O'Neal

#51. I'm sensin' we're comin' to a positive end to this discussion so I don't wanna piss you off, but I'm not your counselor. I'm your ex-wife's man. You need to process shit, do it with one of your boys. I got shit to do.

Kristen Ashley

#52. Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.

Bruce Lansky

#53. My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.

James Woods

#54. I loved literally everything about this man; even his ex-wife.

Sahara Sanders

#55. Grocery shopping was intimidating...the aisles were filled with everything from jumbo to miniature travel-sized rations. Who could I call to ask, "Does the size even matter?" I dare not ask my ex-wife.

Tez Brooks

#56. You don't particularly want to stay close to your ex-wife. Or why would she be your ex-wife?

Ian McShane

#57. Like the locked room upstairs? Listen. I've read Jane Eyre. That better be a red room of pain up there, and not your ex-wife.

Kristan Higgins

#58. There is no fury like an ex-wife searching for a new lover.

Cyril Connolly

#59. Of course I began to see Nikki, which was strange because I was staring into Danny's eyes, and Danny is a six-foot-three black man who looks nothing like my ex-wife.

Matthew Quick

#60. All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend.

Ronnie Wood

#61. My father's very public life as Famous Amos was the opposite of that of his ex-wife, my mother Shirley, who was fighting a very private, solitary battle with mental illness.

Shawn Amos

#62. In the words of Richard Driehaus, "The stock market is like a woman. You observe her. You respond to her. And you respect her." That is not as easy as it sounds. Just ask my ex-wife.

Gary Antonacci

#63. I had a dog. Ex-wife took him, and the house."
Is that why you like country music?"
He eased himself our of the closet. "Huh?"
"Just a joke. Sorry about your dog.

Jeri Smith-Ready

#64. My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.

Bruce Lansky

#65. Besides Bob Satterfield, the only ones who ever hurt me were my ex-wives.

Jake LaMotta

#66. It's not because I'm bitter or because I don't agree with him politically. I've always been a registered Republican. But it's bad taste to talk about ex-husbands and ex-wives, that's all. Also, I don't know a damn thing about politics.

Jane Wyman

#67. When I think of the moment I knew that my marriage to Josiah would end, there were a few moments before I really, really knew. I probably knew, when I saw my ex-husband and his now wife - then colleague - having tea together in his office, that something was amiss.

Isabel Gillies

#68. I had noticed, for example, how all my infatuations dissolved as soon as I really became friends with a man, became sympathetic to his problems, listened to him kvetch about his wife, or ex-wives, his mother, his children. After that I would like him, perhaps even love him - but without passion.

Erica Jong

#69. Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#70. Going back to your ex is like taking back your spit from the ground.

M.F. Moonzajer

#71. She's a parasite I can't seem to get rid of. Like a bad case of financial diarrhea.

Dee Burks

#72. Newt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses. Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.

David Letterman

#73. The embryo of my second novel, Bobby's Diner, came to life because of my husband's ex-wives. Let's just say, they inspired the writing.

Susan Wingate

#74. I do feel free, I have patched things up with my ex-husband to the degree of this real friendship. We spend a lot of time together as a family with our son, no way will we be man and wife again.

Beccy Cole

#75. An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

Helen Rowland

#76. Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex's new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate's ex and any new mate that your new mate's ex has acquired.

Delia Ephron

#77. Whilst lovers: to control her man, a woman uses (the man's access to) her vagina. When ex-lovers: she uses (the man's access to) their kids.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#78. My wife - an ex journalist and current TV producer - has a rule that she taught me at the start of B3ta. Does the item make you laugh, or does it make you go, 'Oh my God?' If you score on either count, then you have something that is worth sharing.

Rob Manuel