Quotes About Thanksgiving Dinner

#1. (Giving your mother-in-law a gift is a good idea, but paying her for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner is not recommended, even if both gestures would cost you the same amount of money.)

Dan Ariely

#2. Prayer is like Thanksgiving dinner. It takes one hour to eat it and ten hours to prepare it.

Peter Kreeft

#3. Although experience has taught me to trust my feelings, I did not go inside to stand guard near her. She had asked me to wait on the bench. I had no intention of crossing her. Like most men, I find it mortifying to be ass-kicked by a woman who doesn't even weigh 110 pounds after Thanksgiving dinner.

Dean Koontz

#4. Yesterday, the Supreme Court spent over an hour listening to arguments on whether Obamacare is unconstitutional. Yeah, listening to arguments about Obamacare for an hour, or as most people call that, 'Thanksgiving Dinner.'

Jimmy Fallon

#5. You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner!

Stephen Colbert

#6. Another holiday, another murder. At least no one got murdered at Thanksgiving dinner! How did I end up, in the season of peace and goodwill toward men, investigating another homicide?"
~ Kay Driscoll

Murder Under the Tree (A Kay Driscoll Mystery Book 2) - Coming November 14.

Susan Bernhardt

#7. Bob wasn't precisely a friend to me but ... I was used to him. In a way he was family, the mouthy, annoying, irritable cousin who was always insulting you but who was definitely at Thanksgiving dinner. I had never considered the possibility that one day he might be something else.

Jim Butcher

#8. Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm sitting with my grandmother, I can't fart for, like, two hours.

Tom DeLonge

#9. Warren and his boyfriend had put on a Thanksgiving dinner for their friends who didn't have families to go home to. Being gay meant they had a number of friends with no welcoming families. Mary

Patricia Briggs

#10. I'm vegetarian, but I love Thanksgiving dinner: faux turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes.

Leigh Lezark

#11. A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.

Johnny Carson

#12. This was a bad idea," I whispered.
"It was probably the smartest idea you've ever had."
I rubbed my palms on my hips.
"It's going to take a lot more
than Thanksgiving dinner and a Christmas tree to get laid."
"Damn. There goes my whole plan.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#13. I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

Greg Behrendt

#14. You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.

Dylan Brody

#15. As governor, when I visited our troops in Kuwait and Iraq, I served them Thanksgiving dinner. It was a small gesture compared to their sacrifice.

Jennifer Granholm

#16. Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.

P. J. O'Rourke

#17. Thanksgiving dinner with my family is awesome," I deadpanned. "Now drink your gold before somebody comes along and mutates you into a twisted parody of humanity.

Seanan McGuire

#18. Why go to so much trouble when Cranberry Juice, Chicken Broth, and Vodka tastes just like Thanksgiving Dinner, and you can enjoy it alone.

Ray Palla

#19. I spent most of this weekend sitting on the sofa reading Proust. The only time my mother left her studio, which she locked behind her, was to go to Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's house.

Rachel Klein

#20. If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it's really like making a large chicken.

Ina Garten

#21. May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!

Grandpa Jones

#22. I was always a 'let's pretend' kind of kid.

Lynn Flewelling

#23. Understanding replaces imaginary fears with real ones.

Mason Cooley

#24. After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.

Oscar Wilde

#25. I am so tired. Tired--but so so so wired to the moon.

Caitlin Moran

#26. What starts as gratitude quickly becomes dependency and ends as entitlement

Robert Harris

#27. LINUS: Where are you going for Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown?
CHARLIE: My father, my mother, Sally, and I are all going to my grandmothers for dinner.
SALLY: Do you want to come too, Linus? We can hold hands under the table.
LINUS: BLECH!

Charles M. Schulz

#28. I pray thee let me and my fellow have a haire of the dog that bit us last night.

John Heywood

#29. I really wanted to get out of England.

Jared Harris

#30. When wireless is fully applied the earth will be converted into a huge brain, capable of response in every one of its parts.

Nikola Tesla

#31. Every Thanksgiving, we all write down three things we're thankful for and put them in a hat. Then we pass the hat around the dinner table and everyone has to guess who wrote what!

Debby Ryan

#32. I didn't want to go to college, and my parents said, 'Well, then you'd better get a job, because we're not paying for you to drop out of school.' So I delivered pizza near USC for a while. We had to wear khakis and a baseball hat with the logo on it, and I worked almost every day.

Dylan Penn

#33. Thanksgiving is the day you don't know if you're invited for dinner or an intervention either way is going to be an ambush.

Felipe Esparza

#34. Thanksgiving began in 1621 when Native Americans sat down with a bunch of undocumented pilgrims. They had dinner and the pilgrims never left.

Jay Leno