Quotes About Mayonnaise

#1. Hellman's Mayonnaise: Bring out the Hellman's and bring out the best...
...artery clogger since Burger King's Triple Whopper with Cheese.

Beryl Dov

#2. I mix mayonnaise, ketchup and brandy and a little bit of mustard. This is a heck of a good sauce for seafood.

Jose Andres

#3. My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce, and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side.

Hubert H. Humphrey

#4. Pittsburgh did not smell of mayonnaise that day.

Sandra Staas

#5. We need to have lectures about why we can't have every day things like mayonnaise, ketchup and coke.

Paolo Di Canio

#6. Q: Who invented mayonnaise? A: Somebody with bad taste.

Barry Raspbody

#7. I love mayonnaise. Every birthday when I was a kid I'd go to Black Angus and just dip my burger in mayo.

Blake Anderson

#8. The Murder Burger is served right here.
You need not wait at the gate of Heaven for unleavened death.
You can be a goner on this very corner.
Mayonnaise, onions, dominance of flesh.
If you wish to eat it you must feed it.
Yall come back soon.
You bet.

Stan Rice

#9. His voice had sounded as though he lived entirely on mayonnaise and butter but never quite cleared his throat of them;

Dean Koontz

#10. In Germany, salads are assemblies of ham and mayonnaise, not trendy tossed leaves.

Rachel Johnson

#11. Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Ambrose Bierce

#12. I don't think of eggs as being fundamental to the flavor of mayonnaise, but they are to Hollandaise.

Wylie Dufresne

#13. Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't.

Karl Lagerfeld

#14. Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavor of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish. Beware the sauce! Where food comes beslobbered with an elegant slime you may well suspect the integrity of the basic ingredients.

Edward Abbey

#15. That day, getting through my world was like trying to swim in a pool of warm mayonnaise while carrying two bowling balls.

Anonymous

#16. She restored herself with a cocktail and an excellent lobster mayonnaise. Phryne was devoted to lobster mayonnaise, with cucumbers.

Kerry Greenwood

#17. How much do you know of La Mayonnaise?" she inquired.

He shrugged. "Maybe up to the part that goes 'Aux armes, citoyens' -

Thomas Pynchon

#18. Politicians cover their mistakes with money; cooks cover their mistakes with mayonnaise; doctors cover theirs with dirt.

Joe Haldeman

#19. My mornings go by so fast I forget breakfast. Lunch - that's turned out to be my biggest meal. I like tuna fish with low-fat mayonnaise and celery, egg whites and garlic. It's delish.

Jackee Harry

#20. My notion of an elegant table is you don't leave the knife sticking out of the mayonnaise jar.

Sue Grafton

#21. Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster.

D.H. Lawrence

#22. Oh, bring me some lobster mayonnaise.

G.K. Chesterton

#23. Keep favorite condiments on hand, such as ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar and salsa.

Betty Crocker

#24. Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

Robin Williams

#25. Mayonnaise," Morgan said, "is a lot like men.

Sarah Dessen

#26. In my 'Big Dinners' cookbook, I recreated my mother's recipe for crab dip. The creamy dressing for this dip, made with mayonnaise, tomato paste, a touch of honey, sliced chives, lemon juice and zest, horseradish and Tabasco, is reminiscent of Thousand Island dressing.

Tom Douglas

#27. [Hadley] "I have a fear of mayo, so I've actually gotten pretty good at it over the years."
[Oliver] "You have a fear of mayo?"
She nods again."It's in my top three or four."
"What are the others?" he asks with a grin. "I mean what could possibly be worse than mayonnaise.

Jennifer E. Smith

#28. Sometimes it's just 'Oh my God, I love the taste of fried oysters on French bread with mayonnaise and an order of French fries.' I'm not going to lie to you - I deal with that temptation every single day, many times.

Richard Simmons

#29. Light mayonnaise is like masturbation - it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled,
ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a big-ass jar of the real stuff.

Susan Donovan

#30. Well, he's not a weirdo. I didn't turn around to look at Malcolm because he was probably eating dish soap or mayonnaise or something.

Suzanne Selfors

#31. I was trying to figure out a way to tell him his love mayonnaise had mad skills and no one at this table could stop talking about vibrators.

Tara Sivec

#32. There's something very comforting about watching a Hugh Grant movie. You know no one's head will be blown off in the first three minutes, no one will be tortured, and the worst thing that might happen is seeing a lanky Welshman eating mayonnaise in his underpants

Ali McNamara

#33. Wait!' called Blue. 'Will you tell me about my father?"
"No," Gwenllian replied. "I will get mayonnaise.

Maggie Stiefvater

#34. Mayonnaise is a lot like men, it can make everything much better, adding flavor and ease to your life. Or, it can just be sticky and gross and make you nauseous"- "Keeping the Moon

Sarah Dessen

#35. You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside ...

Jim Gaffigan

#36. I eat a lot. I'm a big sandwich dude. Turkey, mayonnaise, mustard, cheese, yes. I love craft services.

Jason Mitchell

#37. One of my favorite things is mayonnaise and I have to tell you that. I love mayonnaise, but I don't eat it any more. If I do I put light mayonnaise on it, which I know is still not good but it's a lot better than the other one and I don't eat it that much.

Mike Ditka

#38. My mom taught me this really great beauty tip. She used to put oil or mayonnaise on the bottom half of her hair before she would shower.

Blake Lively

#39. Life's like a mayonnaise soda.

Lou Reed

#40. Coconut oil mixed with olive oil is what I put on my body every day; I put rose hip oil on my face. If my hair feels dry, instead of going and buying something filled with chemicals, I put egg whites or avocados or mayonnaise in my hair. I leave it on there for an hour or two and I wash it out.

Nikki Reed

#41. My favorite snack would have to be Fritos, no doubt about it. Fritos and mayonnaise. I know. Really healthy, isn't it?

Sylvester Stallone

#42. I've been craving peanut butter-and-mayonnaise fried cheese sandwiches.

Anna Nicole Smith

#43. And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing.

Jackie Kessler

#44. The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated as the tang of Zen - that today they have a word for mayonnaise junkie: mayora.

Tom Robbins

#45. I have always wanted to write a book that ended with the word 'mayonnaise.

Richard Brautigan

#46. I remember the stink of the liverwurst.
How I was put on a platter and laid
between the mayonnaise and the bacon.
The rhythm of the refrigerator
had been disturbed.

Anne Sexton

#47. A hippo sandwich is easy to make. All you do is simply take one slice of bread, one slice of cake, some mayonnaise, one onion ring, one hippopotamus, one piece of string, a dash of pepper. That ought to do it. And now comes the problem ... biting into it!

Shel Silverstein

#48. I eat so much mayonnaise they were going to send me to the Mayo Clinic.

Tom Robbins

#49. I use honey to condition my hair and eggs for protein. Also, mayonnaise and olive oil are great options for keeping it moisturized.

Tasha Smith

#50. I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.

Richard Simmons

#51. Another female household-hinter gave me a recipe for a big hearty main dish of elbow macaroni, mint jelly, lima beans, mayonnaise and cheese baked until 'hot and yummy.' Unless my taste buds are paralyzed, this dish could be baked until hell freezes over and it might get hot but never 'yummy.

Betty MacDonald

#52. I said Yo Jay, I can rap. And I spit this rap that said I'm killin' ya'll *****s on this lyrical sh*t, mayonnaise colored benz, I push miracle whips.

Kanye West

#53. Then, with an extended, falling glissando of disgust, the whole string section, plus flutes and piccolo, surged toward the brass, leaving the music critic and his deed - an early evening frites and mayonnaise on Oude Hoogstraat - illuminated under a lonely chandelier.

Ian McEwan

#54. A file of red-coated soldiers came at the quick-march from the other end of the quay, splitting the crowd like vinegar dropped on mayonnaise.

Diana Gabaldon

#55. It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.

Stephen Colbert

#56. Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Joan Rivers